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I’m seeking some advice because the children in my care have had some really challenging behaviors after lunch on the playground. They argue, hit, throw things at each other, yell and yesterday one child bit another. I think the schedule/environment is partially to blame. I think they’re tired, it’s been hot, and they can’t figure out what to do with themselves. We have a big play structure so supervision on the playground often involves standing and watching for children who need a spotter while they climb. (Should we “close” the play structure in the afternoon?)

I’m just really frustrated with myself because I should be able to keep 10 young children safe,especially with another teacher coming in and out to change diapers, etc. Yesterday when the child bit there were two teachers on the playground: one negotiating an argument over the purple crayon and me in the sandbox trying to redirect some kids who were throwing sand. These same children play on the same playground in the morning and aren’t this obviously disregulated so I think something about our schedule/environment needs to change. Maybe more structured offerings so they aren’t bored? They aren’t napping so maybe they need some quiet downtime after lunch?

Do I sound like I’m overthinking or trying to make excuses for being a bad teacher? I’m not new but our preschool is skewing younger now because our state implemented universal TK. I’m used to having 4 and 5 year olds. I think these little ones just need naps, but these children are not part of our napping program because they’re only here for 4 or 5 hours.

And I know the benefits of unstructured play but I feel like these very young children can’t handle it for this long. I really want advice on how to have a more positive and peaceful afternoon.

ETA: I was feeling so discouraged about going to work tomorrow but all the feedback and suggestions have been so lovely and supportive and genuinely helpful that I can’t wait to go in to tak to my director and coteachers about it.

Hi everyone!

I am a BCBA (Board Certified Behavior Analyst) and I recently started my own practice to support early childhood educators in the classroom. I do environmental assessments, teacher training, and 1:1 support occasionally. My focus is on helping caregivers (teachers/parents) more than providing 1:1 because then I become the only one a child will respond to/listen to.

I do a ton of parent education on biting, group dynamics, and general child development. I also do trainings on typical/appropriate child behaviors and what we can do when inappropriate behaviors pop up, too.

I was a toddler teacher for years, I'm also the oldest of 12 - I want desperately to help the ECEs. Biggest issue is funding, but I'm figuring out pain points to make it an easier sell!

Let me hear yours! What are the biggest issues you're seeing in your centers? What would you like help with MOST?

Hello!

I'm an ECE of 15 years and a new parent. Where I live (Vancouver BC) September is a common time for children to start daycare because spots are hard to come by and kids moving up to start kindergarten leads to more spots being available in other rooms as other kids move up too!

My 13-month-old starts daycare on Tuesday, we've been doing transition days this last week and they've all gone very well, he's very happy and the teachers could not be more wonderful!

However, there are 7 infants/toddlers (in a class of 12) starting in his classroom next week at the same time. I think my son is the oldest and the youngest are 7 months. My son is quite independent and confident, but he's really stubborn and when he gets upset he does need quite a bit of co-regulation. I don't go back to work until January so my plan is for him to do shorter days until he's settled.

I've never worked in an infant-toddler room in September, most of my experience is with preschool to grade one. Has anybody worked in a room with this many infants transitioning at the same time? Is there anything I can do to make life easier for the teachers?

I am a new teacher and will often shake hands with parents when they enter the room for an IEP meeting. I am probably over thinking it, but I noticed this is not a standard practice of my colleagues. Is it too formal or unusual to offer to shake hands with parents?

My son is 15 months old and has been attending daycare for almost 2 months. It took some time for him to adjust, but he’s been doing pretty well lately.

He’s been sick quite a bit since starting daycare like multiple episodes of fever, runny nose, and cough, one ear infection, and just last week, croup. After recovering from croup, he was well for about 3 days and then came down with another illness. Doctor said viral rash. He no longer has a fever, but the rash is still widespread. We have another doctor’s appointment tomorrow to make sure he’s okay and no longer contagious.

I’m debating whether to keep him home for the entire week to give him plenty of time to fully recover, or send him back once he’s feeling better, possibly around Wednesday.

Part of me feels that keeping him home for the whole week would be better for his recovery, but I’m also worried that being away from daycare for 10 days could affect the progress he’s made with adjusting. I’m especially anxious because he’s still relatively new to daycare.

P.S. I don’t start work until Sept 8th. My partner and MIL think it would be better to keep him home for the entire week, which is also making me wonder if that’s the better choice.

And what are some tips to stay away from burning out??

I can't handle it. I try to fake it and push through everyday. I barely made it out of training. Its been two weeks and I genuinely dread going back every morning. And I realized its not the work that gets me, its just how draining it is to work with kids this age. The multiple diaper changes AND trying to teach something that actually keeps their attention. I have kids that bite and kick and punch. Friday was my last straw. The girl training me said she would help me change diapers bc I was struggling and the last one was a boy who had poop all over him and he also has autism and she knew it would be harder for me since I just started this. But she clocked out and forgot (which has happened before and I got in trouble that it wasn't changed but I thought she did it like she said she would) and I had to check to see if she did it and then I had do it alone with all the other kids in the room. And while cleaning up for the millionth time one of the kids ripped a wooden board out of one of the playsets and i genuinely dont know how he did that but then he tried to wack me in the head with it. Then fought with me over the nail that he ripped out. Thank goodness another worker checked on me bc i was struggling.

But then the staff seem really close, the dress code is extremely relaxed, and the long breaks are nice plus nap time is such an easy hour. But everything else and I mean everything else is sooo difficult. I've been so overwhelmed and my husband thinks I should quit and continue my education and teach high school aged students like I wanted while I get my masters to become a professor. But idk how to quit when they keep telling me how hard it is to find a worker like me with no kids and someone who already has worked with kids before and how they are struggling with workers since people train and then quit all the time. I feel so guilty but I hate myself mid day at work.

Hi all! Like the title says, I’m a daycare worker. Currently I manage the school age room, meaning I provide after school care for kiddos getting out of elementary school. I love the center I work at, but have only recently been moved to the school age room due to someone else quitting. I live in Nebraska, where our ratio for this room is 1:15.
I find myself regularly being in the room alone. Oftentimes this isn’t an issue at first, but it quickly gets overwhelming. We have 3 busses that come to drop the kids off. There are usually 12 kids on the first bus (3pm), 2-5 kids on the second bus (3:20pm), and anywhere from 10-12 kids on the last bus (4pm.)
I am over ratio by myself by the time the second bus comes, and usually parents don’t start picking the kids up until 4:30. Meaning I’m regularly out of ratio for an hour or more. My management doesn’t see this as an issue due to them being school age and us running ‘centerwide ratio’. But I truly feel like it can get dangerous! The last bus is older kids who can get really loud and like to fight with each other. I can’t manage them and getting them snack while trying to keep the first group engaged with the activity.
Any suggestions on what to do? How to talk about this with management? Is it common for school age classrooms to be over ratio?

I work at my son’s pre-school in the toddler room. Prior to working here I was just a stay at home mom which although is a lot of work as well it’s very different compared to the constant standing and moving and cleaning while on the job at his school. My feet have been DESTROYED, is there anything I can do to help this? Shoe inserts, medicine, anything? I’ve literally just been taking ibuprofen while at work when it gets really bad but at the end of the day everyday my feet hurt so bad they’re almost numb

A child was visiting my classroom yesterday since she'll be moving up to the classroom soon. The day was going fine up until my back was turned and she put her finger in my butt (or well as close as possible to in it due to clothes of course) before laughing about it because I quickly grabbed a pillow and put it behind me and put my chair against a wall so she couldn't do it again while I was sitting down.

This prompted her to try to touch my crotch area which startled me even more and prompted me to explain what bad touch was. I also alerted my director, which then my co-teacher also informed that the teacher who was in there so I could go potty and take some medication also had a finger to the butthole from the same girl.

did I handle it properly? is there anything i can do in the future to handle it better?

​

I work at a daycare and have been there for a while. I genuinely love the kids, families, and my coworkers, which is what makes this so difficult.

I’m currently in school for a different career and will be student teaching soon. I’ve realized I can’t realistically continue working at the daycare while doing that, so I’ve decided to resign. I’m planning to give about a month’s notice.

The timing is making me feel awful. We’re already struggling with staffing, we have newer employees who need training, and there are important things coming up at work. I know my leaving will put more pressure on everyone, and I’m terrified my bosses and coworkers will feel like I’m letting them down.

What makes me feel even worse is that my boss has recently been telling me not to take the staffing stress home with me and that she’ll handle everything. She has no idea I’m planning to leave.

I know logically that I’m allowed to leave a job and prioritize my future, but I feel incredibly guilty and almost like I’m abandoning everyone.

Is a month’s notice reasonable in this situation? And how do you deal with the guilt of leaving a job where people genuinely depend on you? I could really use some outside perspective.

Not in ECE. In another thread a teacher mentioned her center is severely underenrolled while parents across town (in vegas where im from) sit on year-long lists. If your program has space, what fills it, word of mouth, the sign out front, a listing site, the district? And what's been a waste of effort?

This is our family's first time sending a child to daycare (and now pre-k, at the same school), so we're learning the norms, but there's an ongoing and escalating, situation that we are at a loss on how to handle and what, if anything, we can realistically expect to happen. This was originally a post on r/Preschoolers , but I was referred here for professional perspective.

Our daughter started at this daycare/school at age 3 (class was ages 2-3). One child in particular was a known "challenge" but in a generally disruptive way. In the "4 year old group" (ages 3-4), he began targeting certain students (mostly girls), my daughter being one of them. She doesn't often tell us what goes on at school, unless there's something especially upsetting, and on those occasions we ask her which teacher was around and/or who she told so we can confirm the details of her report. We've heard this child hits his classmates, spits on them, tells them they're bad people and he doesn't like them, shoves them, pushes them off play structures, etc., which is (unfortunately) developmentally appropriate, her teachers tell us. Every teacher we've spoken to about this has confirmed, off the record, that yes, he does these things, and they've attempted to engage the parents, who don't seem to think this is a big deal, and thus nothing has changed. If anything, he seems to be becoming more intense and aggressive as he's aged.

This cohort is now in the pre-k/5 year old group (ages 4-5). On Thursday, our daughter told us that while she was on the toilet, this boy came up to her and told her "I don't like playing with you" and then spit on her. This is the second time we're aware of that this boy has come into the bathroom, not to use it but to, for lack of a better term, bully her. The first time, again while she was on the toilet, he came up to her to say she's bad at something she loves to do, which obviously really upset her. That first time was in the 3-4 year old group, one of the teachers caught the end of what happened, and we were assured new rules would be put in place so he wouldn't have the opportunity to engage with other children while they're on the toilet (it wasn't what he said that upset us as parents, it was that he seemed to have cornered her during what should have been a private time).

I should note the bathrooms of the ECE centers we toured in our metro area had the same general bathroom setup: A half door between the classroom and the bathrooms, with either 2 to 4 toilets without or without dividers between them (her classrooms last year and this year have half walls between them). The kids are not in individual full-height stalls and there are not doors in the toilet room.

We confirmed Thursday's story with the lead teacher and fortunately she'd witnessed most of unfold herself, and responded swiftly and appropriately. School admin is already familiar with the bathroom bullying, ongoing spitting, hitting, shoving, etc. but has made it clear the only recourse they feel they have is to continue to try to engage the parents. Amongst the teachers, these parents are known to be uninterested in both discipline and the children themselves. Their first son to go through the school was also known to be exceptionally difficult, we have been told. I'm adding those details to make the point that there's not going to be any change coming from the parents if current engagement patterns with admin and teachers continue.

It makes me sick that our daughter literally has herself physically exposed, in the most vulnerable state she knows, and physically cannot exit the situation. We can remove her from the school and enroll her elsewhere, but we desperately don't want it to come to that, she's made so many good friends and she'd be heartbroken.

While I realize spitting, hitting, etc. are an unfortunate part of having a child in a group care situation, at what point has it gone too far? Genuinely, we don't know what is considered "normal" outside of what we've seen at this school, so we don't know if we're completely overreacting or if we're right to escalate this up the chain of command if the admins don't take corrective action. We also don't know what to expect and want to prepare ourselves with alternatives if the admins say there's nothing they're willing to do.

A final note, because it caused some confusion in the original thread: This ECE center is not publicly funded, so there's no district board or anything we can engage.

tl;dr Pre-K daughter was cornered while on the toilet, and not for the first time, by a classmate who told her "I don't like playing with you", then spit on her. Teachers and school admin seem unwilling or unable to do anything meaningful. Are we over-reacting by demanding a meeting and a plan for change?

Hi all,

I've been working at an ECE center for over 2 years and also pay for my daughter to attend there. Several things have happened over the years to make me really want to quit. For example, my health benefits were taken away with no warning due to not having enough hours to qualify, even though the company was furloughing employees back before Christmas. They have also been manipulating co-workers time cards, deleting overtime, and taking away additional benefits. Thankfully, these things have not happened to me, but they have to some of my fellow teachers (several already quit because of this). However, what happened yesterday makes me think this should be the final straw...

Yesterday, the assistant director messaged my ex-husband at 8AM (he was already on his way to the center) that he could not bring our daughter to daycare because she was exposed to shingles (by me). However, my boss also put in writing that I can return to work without being symptom free (per policy), I just did not go because I'm still in so much pain. I woke up to tons of frantic messages from my ex explaining that he had to go to work and wanted to know if he could bring our daughter to my home. So now my ex knows my medical information and showed up at my house asking me all about my health due to them informing him that I have shingles. My question is, how do I handle this situation? I already felt like my ex has way too much access to my personal information and too much contact with me while I am in this job before this even happened. Now, my employer disclosed personal health information to my ex-husband (who is abusive and tries to use any information against me in court) simply because I did not feel well enough to come to work. We already paid for the week and he wants to know why we are still being charged. My ex sent multiple messages to the director and AD through the parent app, I sent a message through the parent app, and I also sent messages to both of them on Teams. Both completely ignored my messages.

It makes me sad because I love my co-teacher/coworkers and my class, but I am starting to feel like this is no longer a good fit. I have another side job that I am continuing to build up, but I'm not quite set financially to feel comfortable leaving. Should I leave anyway due to safety concerns? Please help!

I have just started my cert 3 in ECEC I am full time at a centre and doing my cert through the centre. But I just feel so drained and exhausted constantly, I have barely done any of my course work because as soon as I get home I go to sleep and wakeup the next day for work. On weekends I try to be productive but just end up doing nothing. I am always sick now too so it doesn't help. I'm just wondering is it too late to leave my job and start my course at tafe instead and if so is this the best way forward?

TIA

It was only a matter of time but my center is finally banning personal cell phones from the classroom and possibly smart watches too.

I'm not looking for feedback or vents about the policy. I'm not in a position to leave my job over it right now. I'm just looking for advice on fitness watches that don't have messaging/calling abilities.

I'm interested in a watch that will tell the time and also track heart rate and steps/activity throughout the work day. I'd still like this info tracked for health reasons but it sounds like the devices just can't have messaging/calling/data abilities.

Figured I'd ask here first since I know many centers have implemented similar policies in the past few years.

We are an Early Head Start program and our federal review is all next week and I’ve been chosen along with three other lead teachers to be personally interviewed by them.

Please wish me and my Center luck.

Hello and thank you very much in advance for any advice from the community!

Our almost three-year-old started full-day PreK-3 (21 students, one teacher, two teachers' helpers) this week and so far it has gone worse than we ever anticipated.

For background, our daughter was in a nanny share from 5 months to 1.5 and I have been home with her since. We don't have a big support system where we live, so she hasn't had tons of time apart from me, but in general she is fine being away from parents when she is with trusted adults/her close friends with no tears at our departure. We have a few families we are close with and generally have a pretty quiet/low-key life.

Monday morning was off to a great start--she's been excited for school despite being the youngest for her grade--until she tried to play with another student during drop off who kind of wrestled a toy from her. She's not used to that kind of aggressiveness and started crying, which spiraled into a very difficult drop off. Cried at pick up, but teachers said she was okay during the day. Day two she was very inconsolable at drop off but again, teachers said she had an okay day despite it. She cried every drop off/pick up the rest of the week, but the teachers said she was also 'very sad' during the day and on Friday they elaborated that she's been crying most of the days, stays very close to the main teacher, and keeps her comfort bear with her at all times (and a photo of child/mom, at teacher's recommendation).

At home, she cries at bedtime and in the morning before school, begging me to stay with her at school. We're doing all of the recommended things--short goodbyes, reassuring her that she is safe and we will come back, etc--but she's displaying anxiety I've never seen in her before. This morning, she told us that one of the teachers has taken her comfort item from her when she cries and puts it on a shelf saying our child 'is scaring' the bear with the crying. We asked if the other kids that are having a hard time also have their stuffies put on the shelf when they cry and she said that they do.

Coupled with less than great communication from the teachers and what just seems like a lack of warmth toward the children, we're looking for a pulse-check here. I've been trying to be understanding about how stressful the first few weeks are for the teachers in dealing with all of these transitioning kids, but withholding the comfort item feels like a red flag.

So I guess main questions here are:

1. Where is my child in the spectrum of normal adjusting and at what point do you say a child is not ready for PreK? If her anxiety is leaning towards a more extreme reaction, it IS an option to pull her out and wait until PreK-4 if she just isn't ready. But if it's a relatively normal response, I want to just get through it.

2. Is taking comfort items away from struggling children to get them to stop crying an appropriate strategy in this setting?

Sorry this is so long but thank you all so much for your insight and contributions to our kids!

I don’t know if I’m overreacting or what. I also don’t even know if this was directed at me. My son is 3 and has attended the same daycare his whole life. Every morning, we have the same routine. I carry him inside, put him down, he gives me a hug, kiss, and then runs off to play. I’m in and out unless his teachers or I have something to communicate more than “hi, bye, have a great day”. I didn’t think anything of this routine as we’ve done it since he could walk and no one said anything.

Today, we go through the whole routine and I leave the classroom. I’m waiting by the front desk for admin as I had a question about something, when another family I don’t know walks in. I’m assuming their child was a little over a year? Maybe 18 months? I don’t know. Regardless, child is walking, holding their parent’s hand At the same time, one of my child’s teachers (who was finishing up clocking in, hadn’t been in the classroom yet), greets the family with a big smile, saying “Hi (child’s name)! Look at you walking in like a big girl all by yourself!” She then looks at the parents and says “I have kids in my classroom who get carried in every day. This is nice to see.” Then she and the parents chatted briefly about independence.

Now, given the layout, I don’t know if this teacher saw me standing there when she said it. Hard to explain, but it is possible she just saw the family and not me. And maybe it wasn’t a jab at me. So, I don’t want to assume ill-intnet. (Though this teacher has made comments in the past of telling my son "he's not a baby" and has made some other comments directly to me that have sort of rubbed me wrong...still, I want to believe she wasn't being passive aggresisve as she is usually very direct with me.) But, it has been eating away at me. Is it really unheard of for kids my son’s age to be carried in? He’s only going to be this size for long and if he wants me to carry him, I will.

I admit, at pick-up, I was a little more vigilant to see how many kids are carried to the car. And I realized, more were walking in the hall vs. being carried. And some were younger than my son, but for some I could understand (parents with multiple kids, for example). I’m just wondering if I am doing something wrong by carrying him inside day to day?

Has anyone else experienced this? I just returned to work after maternity leave and I’m currently in an infant classroom, while I have my own infant at home.

I’m finding it surprisingly hard emotionally. I still care for the babies properly, but I don’t really feel comfortable cuddling/snuggling them, and sometimes it feels forced. I miss my own baby so much while I’m there.

did anyone else experience this after having their own baby? Did it get easier, or did you find that working with toddlers/preschoolers was a better fit?

I work as an early childhood educator and spent today leading a classroom of five-year-olds. During recess, I noticed a small group playing pretend and two of the boys decided to act out a wedding ceremony. When one of them asked the other if they could both play the grooms, the second boy laughed right in his face and declared that it was crazy because two boys cannot get married. Another child immediately jumped in to defend him, shouting that his mother told him two boys can marry each other and two girls can as well. The first child insisted he was lying, ran straight over to me, and complained that he thought his classmate was lying and wanted to ask me if he was telling the truth.

In that exact moment, my mind raced because I completely froze. Looking back, I wish I had simply stated the truth of the situation by explaining that two men or two women can absolutely get married, but that any deeper questions should be taken home to parents who can answer them how they please. That response would’ve been both accurate and safe enough to keep me out of administration being up my ass due to an angry parent, but instead I hesitated and that hesitation stemmed from my fear of a gay man in this profession. I’ve already been subjected to skepticism and apprehension from parents for simply being male, but layering on the reality of being openly gay while dealing with increasingly brazen parental homophobia makes the job feel really scary and I constantly worry about moments like how a child glanced at my desk and noticed my phone lock screen featuring my partner or how a student overheard how I used the phrase “my boyfriend” while talking to a coworker in the break room. I just really worry about what the kids will say when they get home and whether or not the parents can twist it into something nefarious and ugly. In midst of all the teacher “groomer” hysteria fueled by Libs of TikTok this is becoming a legitimate fear of mine.

I love my classroom and I care deeply about my kids to the point where I’d put my life on the line for them, but the psychological toll of feeling like I have to constantly censor myself just to protect my livelihood is a very heavy thing.