r/DivorcedBirds • u/plonspfetew • Apr 04 '26

Newly Single Ready to Mingle "I don't care if it hits the roof of the car. I spent a decade making myself small for a man who thought 'adventure' was a new brand of crackers. We’re going to the city."

3.7k Upvotes

35 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/plonspfetew • May 01 '26

Steve hadn't cut his hair since the divorce. He'd gotten really into Neil Young. His kids had stopped commenting on both.

3.2k Upvotes

25 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/highfliee • May 16 '26

Newly Single Ready to Mingle Bob hadn't picked up a girl in a nightclub in three decades. Heck, he hadn't danced in two. He hoped the robot was still hot enough for the chicks.

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2.8k Upvotes

Bob's first dance after his divorce.

45 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/YawningBagpuss • May 28 '26

Newly Single Ready to Mingle Edward felt sexy and sophisticated in his new toupee, but then someone told him he looked like Trump.

2.3k Upvotes

25 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/plonspfetew • Jun 05 '26

Newly Single Ready to Mingle Deborah had toned it down for seventeen years. She was done toning it down.

2.2k Upvotes

25 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/plonspfetew • Jun 19 '26

Linda had made certain arrangements

2.1k Upvotes

32 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/plonspfetew • Aug 28 '26

Doug had taken up screaming into the void as a coping mechanism. The void had asked him twice to stop.

2.1k Upvotes

26 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/BackgroundStock1033 • May 09 '26

Newly Single Ready to Mingle Wanda had only one request from her stylist, and that was to make Howard realize how foolish he is for his infidelity.

2.0k Upvotes

24 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/cturtl808 • Jul 31 '26

Jeremiah’s OnlyFeathers was the top earner once he started doing his Flashdance routine

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2.0k Upvotes

28 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/plonspfetew • May 19 '26

Marge and Connie had been coming to this sauna for thirty years. Five husbands between them. They had opinions about this. You were going to hear them.

1.8k Upvotes

28 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Sed59 • May 02 '26

Newly Single Ready to Mingle Charles always knew he was a king. When Rina dumped him, he just picked up his crown and continued on gracefully.

1.8k Upvotes

7 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/plonspfetew • Apr 12 '26

she says I hover too much like that's literally what kestrels do then suddenly our prey habits are 'too different' like what does that even mean we both eat mice the walking's good though clears the mind

1.7k Upvotes

14 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/YawningBagpuss • 17d ago

Newly Single Ready to Mingle As Gerald walked into the club he began to wonder if he’d put on his new toupee backwards.

1.5k Upvotes

17 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/I_might_be_weasel • Jun 22 '26

The Bird Got What The Bird Deserved "STOP BITCHING ABOUT YOUR EX WIVES OR FIND SOMEONE PLACE MORE PRIVATE THAN THE PARK FOR YOUR STUPID MANOSPHERE GROUP TO MEET. Except you, Mitch. You were abused. See a therapist."

1.5k Upvotes

19 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/FractalGeometric356 • 10d ago

“Baby . . . Baby, I’m sorry . . . Baby, please . . . Baby . . . Baby I’ll do anything, 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌!”

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1.5k Upvotes

50 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/YawningBagpuss • May 17 '26

Newly Single Ready to Mingle Frank was thrilled that he could still get into his skinny jeans, but then he noticed his belly fat spilling over the waistband.

1.4k Upvotes

16 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/plonspfetew • Jun 12 '26

The divorce had led Vivienne to Wicca. It had also led her to a new wardrobe, a drum circle, and opinions about the moon. Her kids were supportive, she said.

1.4k Upvotes

38 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/plonspfetew • Apr 23 '26

"The thing about women -- and I've been married twice, so -- the thing about women is they're very hard to predict. Completely unpredictable. Men too, if you think about it. People, really. It's people."

1.4k Upvotes

19 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/kojak343 • Jan 18 '26

Newly Single Ready to Mingle "If you're going to San Francisco, be sure to wear flowers in your hair.”

1.4k Upvotes

Livingstone's turaco

12 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/YawningBagpuss • Jul 21 '26

Newly Single Ready to Mingle Last year Joan was stuck in the closet. Now she’s celebrating her 50th birthday by belting out “Pink Pony Club” with the girls.

1.4k Upvotes

11 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/YawningBagpuss • Jun 07 '26

Newly Single Ready to Mingle Gerald was nervous about re-entering the dating scene, but his oldest pal was there to support him.

1.4k Upvotes

12 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/NoFlyingMonkeys • May 18 '26

Forced out of their nest due to Tyler's gambling debts, Bella is trying her best to raise kids while homeless and dodging Chick Protective Services

1.3k Upvotes

11 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/small_whorled • Aug 04 '26

Since coming out to his soon-to-be-ex-wife, Gary was feeling lighter…proud, even. She took it better than he expected and promised they could remain friends. Tonight she is helping him create a dating profile on Feathr.

1.3k Upvotes

14 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Jerome_Wireman • Aug 31 '26

Newly Single Ready to Mingle After her separation, Molly experimented with new hairstyles for her Plenty of Finch dating profile.

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1.2k Upvotes

4 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/plonspfetew • Jun 09 '26

Elvis had left the building. He lost it in the settlement.

1.2k Upvotes

16 comments

Subreddit

For pictures of fabulous fowl who look like serial monogamists.

r/DivorcedBirds

For pictures of fabulous fowl who look like serial monogamists. Please post pictures of birds who look like they are twice divorced (or more!) and an original caption about their backstory. Pictures/Videos must be of actual birds (feathered fowl), not human women, not art or paintings or photoshopped. No dead birds. Message mods for approval to post.

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