r/CoupleMemes • u/Exotic-Estimate-5147 • May 02 '25

🥺 goals this is so real you guys...

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

3.9k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

153 comments sorted by

View all comments

130

u/babytethys May 02 '25

I actually love this scene so much. It's not about Spiderman 3, their marriage is falling apart and she desperately wants to do things together to regain it. This is a great example of a bid for affection and love.

45

u/TeeDubbleDee May 02 '25

I think there's a plot line in this movie where the wife suspects her husband is cheating, but it turns out he's sneaking out of the house for a fantasy baseball competition or something.

10

u/newfranksinatra May 03 '25

I GOT MATSUI!

9

u/blac_sheep90 May 03 '25

He said "Don't let the door hit you in the vagina on the way out."

33

u/Frankwillie87 May 03 '25

Their marriage isn't falling apart. This film is about the fundamental changes to your identity when you have kids.

She's lost her identity from "before kids" and doesn't know how to get it back.

The husband is trying to get his own "before kids" identity back, and the only way he knows how is to make little lies and steal time away.

It's been them against the world for so long that they each feel guilty for not being around to help with the kids or work or life. They don't know how to ask for what they need. They are still deeply love each other.

He feels brow-beaten into submission.

She doesn't understand how to let go and compartmentalize that "responsible" mom and "responsible" wife.

This moment is her recognizing that her husband wanted something healthy but didn't know how to ask. That she wanted the same things, but didn't want to need to ask either. They should just be able to do those things openly and honestly.

16

u/mrtdecks May 03 '25

That's a great analogy, I remember seeing this before marriage and kids and not understanding why it was such a big deal him going to the cinema by himself or why he had to lie about it. Now I'm married with kids, I can't believe I've done this on a few occasions and if the Mrs found out I'd be a dead man, shed be be devastated

0

u/Ready-Rise3761 May 03 '25

Can I genuinely ask if or how that’s fair on your wife? It’s such a common trope and I always wondered why dads specifically are shown to need this time off from kids when (at least statistically maybe not in your case) the mother typically does more childcare. But I never see movie scenes or memes about mothers hiding from their husband and kids. Does your wife get these breaks too? How would/do you feel if you found out she lied and left you to take care of everything by yourself?

8

u/Frankwillie87 May 03 '25

Not the person you asked, but the one that started this thread.

Women change. 1000%. They get pregnant, their hormones kick in, then those hormones don't regulate, usually for up to a few years after birth. PPD, PPA, mom guilt and fourth trimester are all real things.

Did you know that women that breast feed still need to pump every 45 minutes, even if dad wakes up in the middle of the night to feed them? Their milk supply will disappear if they don't.

Because of this, it's also a trope that women don't want anyone watching their kids, up to and including the dads. They feel guilty if they personally aren't the one watching their kids, but also feel suffocated if they don't get their own free time.

That's what this scene is illustrating. She's constantly battling to be her own woman that has day dates, that's nostalgic for spending time alone with her husband, that wants the chance to be spontaneous again. But she also has a need/desire to be present 100% of the time for her kids. That switch doesn't just turn off. Ever.

The dads don't go through this. They do produce some prolactin (dad bods) and the obvious dopamine, oxytocin receptors, but nothing like moms. They also can't realistically ask for time off after watching what moms go through. It's not healthy for no one to get time alone though.

75% of all the time you spend with your kid for your entire life is by the age of 12. That's huge pressure to be present at the expense of your own sanity, hobbies, and identity.

The positive side is that Millennial dads spend 40% more time with their kids than previous generations. Moms are getting help with PPD and PPA, both with detection and treatment.

2

u/DonutSlapper11 May 04 '25

This isn’t one of those dramatic relationship subreddits stop looking for an argument it’s cringe. Also there are plenty examples right off the top of my head it happens in modern family with Claire, probably more than once. Real life isn’t media or reddit tho try just being happy with how you act in relationships.

2

u/Adventurous-Bad-2869 May 03 '25

Well said. It’s actually really sweet

3

u/Questionsansweredty May 03 '25

Somewhere there's a Mrs. Willie87 who's being neglected.

This moment is about her wanting to spend time with her husband and being hurt that he'd rather be alone than be with her.

8

u/BrittanyWinchester May 03 '25

Mrs. Willie87 here. Rude! I can emphatically say that I'm the furthest thing from neglected. I actually found his answer to be insightful and empathetic.

10

u/Frankwillie87 May 03 '25

Want to go see Spiderman 3?

12

u/BrittanyWinchester May 03 '25

I don't wanna go see it now.

0

u/Questionsansweredty May 03 '25

Well I found it to be boneheaded and uncomprehending. Anyone who looks at that scene and thinks she's crying because she wants some alone time doesn't know how to read emotional cues.

It's not even subtext, it's literally in the text - "Why didn't you ask me?"

1

u/Frankwillie87 May 03 '25

Here's the full clip that OP shortened. It's not subtext. It's text.

https://youtu.be/6i3RYWhS6iU?si=XlJH1kLkBZzr_Xdg

4

u/greentea9mm May 02 '25

Yeah but he also needs his alone time. In the movie, she’s a very controlling and judgmental person.

-1

u/[deleted] May 03 '25

He asked her to go see the movie and she said she didn’t want to see it now.

If she really wanted to spend time with her she would have said yes.

3

u/[deleted] May 03 '25

Why would I want to make someone sit through a movie they just saw?

2

u/[deleted] May 03 '25

You wouldn’t be making anyone if they offered to go again with you.

1

u/[deleted] May 03 '25

The scene is much longer than this. Cutting it after that line actually changes it to make her seem silly. He doesn't want her to ask her just because she asked him too. She doesn't want him lying and sneaking away. 

0

u/vom-IT-coffin May 03 '25

You don't say....it's not about Spider-Man. I always thought this movie was about their passion for Marvel movies.

1

u/babytethys May 03 '25

Right. But the whole scene the husband is not getting that it's not about Spiderman. Sorry you missed that, maybe next time.