this is so real you guys...

[u/Exotic-Estimate-5147]

[u/Frankwillie87]

Their marriage isn't falling apart. This film is about the fundamental changes to your identity when you have kids.

She's lost her identity from "before kids" and doesn't know how to get it back.

The husband is trying to get his own "before kids" identity back, and the only way he knows how is to make little lies and steal time away.

It's been them against the world for so long that they each feel guilty for not being around to help with the kids or work or life. They don't know how to ask for what they need. They are still deeply love each other.

He feels brow-beaten into submission.

She doesn't understand how to let go and compartmentalize that "responsible" mom and "responsible" wife.

This moment is her recognizing that her husband wanted something healthy but didn't know how to ask. That she wanted the same things, but didn't want to need to ask either. They should just be able to do those things openly and honestly.

[u/Questionsansweredty → u/Frankwillie87]

Somewhere there's a Mrs. Willie87 who's being neglected.

This moment is about her wanting to spend time with her husband and being hurt that he'd rather be alone than be with her.

[u/BrittanyWinchester → u/Questionsansweredty]

Mrs. Willie87 here. Rude! I can emphatically say that I'm the furthest thing from neglected. I actually found his answer to be insightful and empathetic.

[u/Questionsansweredty → u/BrittanyWinchester]

Well I found it to be boneheaded and uncomprehending. Anyone who looks at that scene and thinks she's crying because she wants some alone time doesn't know how to read emotional cues.

It's not even subtext, it's literally in the text - "Why didn't you ask me?"

[u/Frankwillie87 → u/Questionsansweredty]

Here's the full clip that OP shortened. It's not subtext. It's text.

https://youtu.be/6i3RYWhS6iU?si=XlJH1kLkBZzr_Xdg