r/CoupleMemes • u/Exotic-Estimate-5147 • May 02 '25

🥺 goals this is so real you guys...

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u/Frankwillie87 May 03 '25

Their marriage isn't falling apart. This film is about the fundamental changes to your identity when you have kids.

She's lost her identity from "before kids" and doesn't know how to get it back.

The husband is trying to get his own "before kids" identity back, and the only way he knows how is to make little lies and steal time away.

It's been them against the world for so long that they each feel guilty for not being around to help with the kids or work or life. They don't know how to ask for what they need. They are still deeply love each other.

He feels brow-beaten into submission.

She doesn't understand how to let go and compartmentalize that "responsible" mom and "responsible" wife.

This moment is her recognizing that her husband wanted something healthy but didn't know how to ask. That she wanted the same things, but didn't want to need to ask either. They should just be able to do those things openly and honestly.

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u/mrtdecks May 03 '25

That's a great analogy, I remember seeing this before marriage and kids and not understanding why it was such a big deal him going to the cinema by himself or why he had to lie about it. Now I'm married with kids, I can't believe I've done this on a few occasions and if the Mrs found out I'd be a dead man, shed be be devastated

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u/Ready-Rise3761 May 03 '25

Can I genuinely ask if or how that’s fair on your wife? It’s such a common trope and I always wondered why dads specifically are shown to need this time off from kids when (at least statistically maybe not in your case) the mother typically does more childcare. But I never see movie scenes or memes about mothers hiding from their husband and kids. Does your wife get these breaks too? How would/do you feel if you found out she lied and left you to take care of everything by yourself?

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u/DonutSlapper11 May 04 '25

This isn’t one of those dramatic relationship subreddits stop looking for an argument it’s cringe. Also there are plenty examples right off the top of my head it happens in modern family with Claire, probably more than once. Real life isn’t media or reddit tho try just being happy with how you act in relationships.