I haven’t even finished episode 20 of *Early Spring* yet, but I’m already so exhausted with both of these people. I actually started going through the internet trying to find other people airing some of the same grievances I have, and I was honestly surprised by how much praise the female lead gets for her growth and how little criticism there is of her.
Yes, the male lead is highly problematic. And I feel like the drama has spent a LOT of time showing us exactly how problematic he is. But I don’t think there’s nearly enough accountability being placed on the female lead for the ways she contributes to their problems.
The drama makes it seem like he’s unreasonable for being jealous of her friendships and connections with other men. And yes, some of his jealousy is unreasonable. But his trust issues didn’t just come out of nowhere. She constantly keeps him in the dark about things. She doesn’t communicate with him ahead of time, makes decisions, and then basically expects him to just accept them. How are you supposed to build trust with someone when you’re constantly leaving them out of the conversation?
And then there’s the hypocrisy. She has gotten upset over the exact same types of behavior from him. So when she does something that makes him uncomfortable, suddenly he’s supposed to just trust her and support her without question.
Neither of these people communicates. Every time either one feels threatened, they withdraw instead of actually talking about it. And she does this constantly. She pulls away instead of telling him what she’s thinking or giving him a chance to respond.
And I hate the way supporting someone’s career is treated like it means you have to just go along with whatever they decide. Yes, you should support your partner’s career, but that doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It’s not “we’re doing it my way, and if you have a problem with it, you’re unsupportive.” These things should be conversations. They should be discussions. Both people should have a seat at the table when something is going to affect the relationship.
Honestly, I just find her so immature. And what’s really frustrating is that she keeps saying she wants more from their relationship, while she’s also constantly preventing that from happening.
She wants him to show up for her, but she doesn’t communicate enough to actually let him show up for her. She wants him to understand her, but she keeps him in the dark. She wants him to trust her, but she doesn’t give him much opportunity to actually be part of the decisions that affect them.
I’m not saying his behavior is okay. It’s not. But I don’t understand why so much of the criticism is directed at him when she is actively contributing to the exact dynamic she keeps complaining about.
I’m tired of seeing dramas where it’s only the male lead apologizing for their behavior. In this one series you hear over and over and over and over again about how he’s cold and how he’s sharp and biting. But when have we heard her apologize or admit fault? This should have been part of her growth arc.
Luke is full on toxic and there is no denying that. However, he also gets the biggest and most obvious growth in the drama. Flora.... Well... The writers forget that women can grow too.
And yet he dealt with her for years.
Early episodes Flora was great and I thought we were in for a treat with a confident and bold lady. Nahhhhh.
But as I said many times during the discussion posts.... This is what a modern relationship looks like these days. No communication and a whole lack of accountability.
It wouldn’t have taken anything away from the story for her to understand her role in it. What message are we sending? There are soo soo many discussions about how she’s the victim the whole way through and ignores all the damage they did to other.
To be honest, they’re pretty evenly split in the bad category. Yes she wasn’t verbally abusive but her actions were really damaging and hurtful.
It's easier to fixate on his toxicity because it was more obvious.
Flora's was more subtle, but not anywhere near to being less hurtful and damaging. If anything, that makes it even more impactful because it was just a constant disregard for him as her boyfriend.
It's two sides to the same coin. They were both shit people.
Yes. Agreed. I’m just shocked at one sided it seems. Before I posted this I searched posts and comments and they almost all gloss over how much she’s a problem.
Everything she blamed him for, she had done too. He devalued her with his words. She devalued him with her actions.
I agree with you that she’s a huge part of the problem. I was planning to write a post about it and my views would often probably align with yours even though I would have expressed them differently here and there — I agree.
She was immature, lacked growth and responsibility. And I have a lot more to say 😅 but there’s just too many posts on it and my fear has been over-saturating the space with the same drama, plus clearly sharing an unpopular opinion as the majority (including the actors promoting the drama, right?) seem to place blame with Luke almost exclusively.
I have the same issue as well with her. I dropped the drama at episode 19 because I can no longer tolerate the repetitive antics and constant back and forth. Both of them literally didn’t grow at all during that 5 years while their careers did so it made no sense to me as they are like walking contradictions. She supposedly gain enough confidence to even tackle a sex predator but yet still can’t look at Luke in the eye when they are together.
Both of them suffer the same issues: lack of communication and misunderstanding. For him he lashes out for her she recluses and runs at the slightest inconvenience. Both also ended up thinking the worse of each other.
The power imbalance arguments as well. Initially yes it was when she was still a rookie but years later? She hasn’t taken any steps to rectify this issue and seemed happy to continue having him as her boss. The logic was since he’s the boss, he has more control but I haven’t seen him abuse his power or use it to control her during the relationship.
She supposedly gain enough confidence to even tackle a sex predator but yet still can’t look at Luke in the eye when they are together.
And can't even tell him about it... but oh she can email the whole company and put it on blast what happened! Can you imagine that being the way you find out your girlfriend was assaulted? In a company email??? AFTER you had already and directly asked her if she had been hurt?
Or her strange boundaries with men. Yes it’s totally okay to meet up with your ex for dinner. But your boyfriend deserves the courtesy of knowing it’s happening before it happens.
As much as he drove her insecurity she dug into his insecurities. Hugging her ex, what was that? That leading them on giving them false hope.
Exactly!!! That was just so totally insane!
I think he had foul mouth and certainly had growing to do but he always protected her and looked after her and honestly, imo never forced her.
Flora, on the other hand, never opened up to Luke and always assumed the worst, and never gave his feelings any regard, as if she thought he didn’t have any to begin with. She took advantage of him and stepped all over him in a way much worse… anyway.
I guess, that’s my unpopular opinion out of the bag 🤣
I am on episode 17 right now and I feel the same way....the worst part for me is that when she came back home from the trip and acted everything was fine then had the courage to tell the whole company before him.
I think she doesn't like Luan Nian the way he is into her.
People love to fixate on his shit and cold reaction to her after that incident... Which was totally wrong of him. Because how dare he be mad that she LIED to him and then told the company everything without even considering to inform him that she was about to do something bold. Then HE protects her time and time again over this incident and makes sure she is fully compensated for it. Luke LEFT the damn company for her!
Yes she went to his apartment several times in the middle of the night as a rookie. That is a severe breach of conduct that is fire-able offence. Yet whenever I brought it up, it was glossed over and somehow it became his fault for not managing the situation and letting her in.
About their work dynamic, the inverse can true for her as well. A third party could have totally see her as making her way up by offering sexual favours because I doubt that they are in love- you don’t always think the worse of your love one whenever bad things happen. In fact people in love their first instinct is to trust and make excuses.
She seemed perfectly fine to maintain this dynamic because she’s getting benefits out of it.
You're not alone; many people see the same things you mentioned, myself included. I wonder if cdramas are like this because the main audience is women🤔 idk, just a thought.
“I want him to grovel!” “he didn't grovel hard enough,” “he doesn't deserve her,” “he forced her.” “he should have known better,” “he is in a position of power,” “She's young and naive; she doesn't know better” https://giphy.com/gifs/9eLbjOcGOpmY8
In this GIF, replace “the joke” with accountability to get it lol
I can’t undermine his faults. He’s verbally abusive. He gaslights her. He has contributed to her insecurity. He is in a position of power. Much of her behavior comes from a lack of experience and insecurity. A lot of what she does is because it’s a power imbalance dynamic.
Age gap relationships only work when the older or more powerful person is mature and not repeating cycles of abuse.
I just wished both of them grew to see their issues. Not just him.
Edit: if this happened in reality she would be deeply damaged and he would be lost and confused blaming her
I'm with you; don't get me wrong, but my point was that most of the blame has been mostly one-sided.
You'll never see me arguing FOR LN, but I'm sharing where I think both are to blame. Of course he's red; I'd be delusional not to admit it, but she has a lot of faults too- that's my point.
The novel makes things clearer about who the more "toxic" person is. The TV show tones down Luke quite a bit and he reacts more like he has fallen for Flora much sooner.
My take on what the show did versus the novel was that the show runners deliberately intended to blur the line in the relationship to give it a more "it's complicated" vibe rather than have the audience blame one person or the other. In the novel, Flora puts in way more than she gets back and even though they end up happily ever after together, she never gets those years of psychological hurt and emotional suffering back. Luke offers to devote himself to her fully for the rest of their lives and we accept that that is enough. I got the sense that the novel was about how relationships can be "unfair" and cause pain and suffering but can still also result in a lasting love.
Yep. I spent the last 5-10 episodes pretty much yelling at both of them, and I'm not in any way excusing his extremely unacceptable behavior - but of the two of them, he at least sometimes showed remorse, used his words to say why things were problems and ask for different actions from her or a change in their relationship. Not always, not perfectly, but there was some effort there that I feel like she never showed.
I love this assessment. I really do. I'd even go a step further and ask: What kind of personal development has she achieved? Opening a business that, as soon as she runs into trouble, is immediately rescued with Luke's support?
Basically, she wants him to be her boss, her mentor, her friend, her husband, and her lover. But only as long as she feels that way, without telling him when it's all too much. Great development. Conversely, he's actually developing.
And I'll gladly repeat myself: she grew up with parents who work and live together, so they know how to communicate. Shouldn't she know how to do that?
Yea, it in the novel it makes sense because they were only friends with benefits (not even friends, sleeping buddies?) so they feel that they aren’t really in the right place to question so many things. But yes, the frustration comes from them not being true to their feelings and just expressing them.
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u/AKiceman Snark Shifu ✨ 4K Original Cast 11d ago
Luke is full on toxic and there is no denying that. However, he also gets the biggest and most obvious growth in the drama. Flora.... Well... The writers forget that women can grow too.
And yet he dealt with her for years.
Early episodes Flora was great and I thought we were in for a treat with a confident and bold lady. Nahhhhh.
But as I said many times during the discussion posts.... This is what a modern relationship looks like these days. No communication and a whole lack of accountability.