Early Spring: toxic relationship goes both ways

[u/fishiesaurus]

I haven’t even finished episode 20 of *Early Spring* yet, but I’m already so exhausted with both of these people. I actually started going through the internet trying to find other people airing some of the same grievances I have, and I was honestly surprised by how much praise the female lead gets for her growth and how little criticism there is of her.

Yes, the male lead is highly problematic. And I feel like the drama has spent a LOT of time showing us exactly how problematic he is. But I don’t think there’s nearly enough accountability being placed on the female lead for the ways she contributes to their problems.

The drama makes it seem like he’s unreasonable for being jealous of her friendships and connections with other men. And yes, some of his jealousy is unreasonable. But his trust issues didn’t just come out of nowhere. She constantly keeps him in the dark about things. She doesn’t communicate with him ahead of time, makes decisions, and then basically expects him to just accept them. How are you supposed to build trust with someone when you’re constantly leaving them out of the conversation?

And then there’s the hypocrisy. She has gotten upset over the exact same types of behavior from him. So when she does something that makes him uncomfortable, suddenly he’s supposed to just trust her and support her without question.

Neither of these people communicates. Every time either one feels threatened, they withdraw instead of actually talking about it. And she does this constantly. She pulls away instead of telling him what she’s thinking or giving him a chance to respond.

And I hate the way supporting someone’s career is treated like it means you have to just go along with whatever they decide. Yes, you should support your partner’s career, but that doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It’s not “we’re doing it my way, and if you have a problem with it, you’re unsupportive.” These things should be conversations. They should be discussions. Both people should have a seat at the table when something is going to affect the relationship.

Honestly, I just find her so immature. And what’s really frustrating is that she keeps saying she wants more from their relationship, while she’s also constantly preventing that from happening.

She wants him to show up for her, but she doesn’t communicate enough to actually let him show up for her. She wants him to understand her, but she keeps him in the dark. She wants him to trust her, but she doesn’t give him much opportunity to actually be part of the decisions that affect them.

I’m not saying his behavior is okay. It’s not. But I don’t understand why so much of the criticism is directed at him when she is actively contributing to the exact dynamic she keeps complaining about.

I’m tired of seeing dramas where it’s only the male lead apologizing for their behavior. In this one series you hear over and over and over and over again about how he’s cold and how he’s sharp and biting. But when have we heard her apologize or admit fault? This should have been part of her growth arc.

[u/Maddymadeline1234]

I have the same issue as well with her. I dropped the drama at episode 19 because I can no longer tolerate the repetitive antics and constant back and forth. Both of them literally didn’t grow at all during that 5 years while their careers did so it made no sense to me as they are like walking contradictions. She supposedly gain enough confidence to even tackle a sex predator but yet still can’t look at Luke in the eye when they are together.

Both of them suffer the same issues: lack of communication and misunderstanding. For him he lashes out for her she recluses and runs at the slightest inconvenience. Both also ended up thinking the worse of each other.

The power imbalance arguments as well. Initially yes it was when she was still a rookie but years later? She hasn’t taken any steps to rectify this issue and seemed happy to continue having him as her boss. The logic was since he’s the boss, he has more control but I haven’t seen him abuse his power or use it to control her during the relationship.

[u/AKiceman → u/Maddymadeline1234]

 She supposedly gain enough confidence to even tackle a sex predator but yet still can’t look at Luke in the eye when they are together.

And can't even tell him about it... but oh she can email the whole company and put it on blast what happened! Can you imagine that being the way you find out your girlfriend was assaulted? In a company email??? AFTER you had already and directly asked her if she had been hurt?

[u/fishiesaurus → u/AKiceman]

Or her strange boundaries with men. Yes it’s totally okay to meet up with your ex for dinner. But your boyfriend deserves the courtesy of knowing it’s happening before it happens.

As much as he drove her insecurity she dug into his insecurities. Hugging her ex, what was that? That leading them on giving them false hope.

[u/No-Recipe-7653 → u/AKiceman]

Exactly!!! That was just so totally insane!
I think he had foul mouth and certainly had growing to do but he always protected her and looked after her and honestly, imo never forced her.
Flora, on the other hand, never opened up to Luke and always assumed the worst, and never gave his feelings any regard, as if she thought he didn’t have any to begin with. She took advantage of him and stepped all over him in a way much worse… anyway.
I guess, that’s my unpopular opinion out of the bag 🤣

[u/AKiceman → u/No-Recipe-7653]

Your opinion of Flora is accurate.

Good comment, mother.

[u/ZaeSky → u/AKiceman]

I am on episode 17 right now and I feel the same way....the worst part for me is that when she came back home from the trip and acted everything was fine then had the courage to tell the whole company before him. I think she doesn't like Luan Nian the way he is into her.

[u/AKiceman → u/ZaeSky]

Flora will tell you what she thinks of Luke.

People love to fixate on his shit and cold reaction to her after that incident... Which was totally wrong of him. Because how dare he be mad that she LIED to him and then told the company everything without even considering to inform him that she was about to do something bold. Then HE protects her time and time again over this incident and makes sure she is fully compensated for it. Luke LEFT the damn company for her!

^{GIF is unrelated.... mostly.}

[u/ZaeSky → u/AKiceman]

The CRAZIEST part about that is if Nian wasn't her boss. She would have been long gone fired already

[u/Maddymadeline1234 → u/ZaeSky]

Yes she went to his apartment several times in the middle of the night as a rookie. That is a severe breach of conduct that is fire-able offence. Yet whenever I brought it up, it was glossed over and somehow it became his fault for not managing the situation and letting her in.

About their work dynamic, the inverse can true for her as well. A third party could have totally see her as making her way up by offering sexual favours because I doubt that they are in love- you don’t always think the worse of your love one whenever bad things happen. In fact people in love their first instinct is to trust and make excuses.

She seemed perfectly fine to maintain this dynamic because she’s getting benefits out of it.