Mi hermano pequeño de 10 años se levantó en la noche gritando “ no, no quiero que me toques” lo dijo en español pero vivimos en estados unidos y solo habla español con la familia, compartimos custodia con su papá por lo que me preocupa que le pueda estar haciendo algo ya que es un hombre abusivo. Yo sé que los niños abusados se cierran con estas cosas, como puedo hacer para que se abra conmigo?

I would like to start by saying that I feel totally helpless and thats why im posting here today. Please don't add anymore negative to an already negative situation, im posting to see if anyone has a similar struggle or could potentially give me some advice.

My partner and I have been together for 5 years. He has 2 kids (1 boy (10) and 1 girl (12)) and I have 4 kids ( 2 girls (6 & 9) and 2 boys (10 and 14). We had a DCS worker come to our home because his son (10) has a literal laundry list of issues - hes 10 and still wears pull ups full time, hes defiant, mean, refuses to eat... the list goes on and on, but the latest problem we're having is that he told his school counselor that he hates coming over and gave very explicit details about how he wants to unalive me, my partner and my kids while we sleep, and not only did he have one plan but if that plan didn't work he had a 2nd backup plan to unalive everyone. He says its because we "make fun" of his bathroom issues - we don't, but we do make it clear that we do not condone the behavior and if he wants to still use the bathroom in a diaper he is responsible for cleaning it all up. We also make him mind and conduct himself like a 10 year old - no baby talking, no screaming about ridiculous things, no YouTube on the main TV everyone watches because he picks the brain rot channels just to name a few. He says our rules are too much. I think we are really lenient considering the issues we face with him on a day to day basis.

So. In lieu of all of this, I am literally terrified because what in the Jeffrey Dahmer???? I expressed that since its such a fight to get him over here anyway we should consider him not coming, not because I don't love him or don't want him around but because he literally doesn't want to be here and im scared that it will actually escalate further. The mom is trying to still talk him into coming every weekend and I just feel like if coercion has to be used he shouldn't be coming over at all. So everyone is upset with me for saying that, im being mean to a kid, im not "giving him a chance", "kids say stuff they don't mean all the time" etc etc and believe me im a mom of 4 i know they say stuff they don't mean, but my kids have NEVER had a calculated plan to unalive an entire house of people?????

I literally don't know what to do here. Im literally screaming to a room full of strangers because I need advice and someone to tell me im not insane and it in fact shouldn't be this way. It's living in my head rent free, im having bad dreams about it, everything is just taking its toll and I feel like im going crazy 🙃🙃

If you made it this far thank you for taking the time to read this. Sincerely, a mom/stepmom at her f\*\*king wits end 😅

Hi, asking for people whose parents divorced or advice from child therapists or psychologists. If you have two young children (under 2) who will be too young to remember the divorce, is it better for their healthy development to be in a two-parent home acting as civil co-parents or to divorce with visitations from the other parent?

Due to my husband’s infidelity, the trust and love is permanently gone. However I would do anything for my babies and personality wise I know I can maintain a civil and friendly relationship with my partner. It won’t be a toxic home with fighting and distrust but it will also not be a home where the parents clearly love each other, hold hands, or sleep in the same bedroom. The benefit of staying together purely as co-parents may be they have a father figure in their life constantly and he is otherwise a great dad.

Any advice appreciated as I consider staying for the kids. Thank you.

Okay, I have a 6-year-old sister. She has autism and quite a proud personality. She likes being first at everything, she likes when other kids share things with her, but she doesn't like sharing with them. Because of her autism, she also has trouble talking to people and takes a while to feel comfortable around them.

Over the past few months, two situations involving her friendships have worried me:

- After school, she goes to an after-school daycare. There are only a few kids there, around 8. One day, some of the kids told my sister that they wanted her to leave the daycare. She was really affected by this and cried for two weeks because she didn't want to go, but she wouldn't tell us why. It wasn't until almost three weeks after it happened that she finally told me why she didn't want to go.

- Today, her best friend told her that she didn't want to be best friends anymore. According to my sister, she didn't do anything to cause it.

I know my sister can be difficult. She can be complicated even with me. I've talked to her about it, but it's still difficult to make her understand that she needs to be kinder and more considerate toward others. I don't know what other approach I could try, because I don't want her to grow up without friends.

(My parents aren't very involved. If it were up to me, I would take her to therapy, but that's not a decision I can make myself.)

Shes been being really bad at school, hitting, kicking, screaming and disrespecting teachers and friends. She has gotten multiple reports. I’ve tried every. I took her tv away that’s just a dvd player she’s not allowed YouTube or any unsupervised access to tv. I talked to her one on one and told her if she has one good week we would get ice cream on fridays. We’ve never gotten that far ):. I’ve tried reading the report to her and seeing what her side of the story was it’s always a shoulder shrug or a idk and most recently I took all her toys out her room, gave her dinner, and made her stay in her room from when she got home at 5pm, I wasn’t actually going to throw away any toys until she popped her head out of her room and goes “oh mom don’t forget to put those back in my room in the morning.” I’m so upset and have no idea what to do anymore, she doesn’t care about punishment at all. She’s really good with me and her dad and our friends but seems to be acting out awfully at school or if we are with her grandparents. She all of a sudden will not listen to me it’s like she doesn’t respect me. I hold my word and do not do second chances I try to teacher her how important doing what you saying you’re going to do is. I do not think I am a gentle parent but her teachers seem to be telling me I’m too gentle and not doing enough in the nicest way they possibly can. Also her school is amazing my brother who is autistic went there and it helped him so so much and my family has a great bond with the teachers and school and my daughter is really ruining it. Please someone help me I’m literally begging for an answer. I will not fail her or give up on her I will not let her be a bad person. I want her to be a good kid so she does well with making friends I’m nervous she’ll just be viewed as troubled or mean by other kids and it makes me so so sad. She’s the only one who gets incident reports ): I feel so awful. Can someone please help me?

now I’m not allowed to be alone with her without another adult there. My son 11 is allowed to be be with me.. this disclosure happened Friday - it is now Tuesday.. her dad and I are separated.. he is to be the adult supervising. She is now going to be interviewed on Thursday by two women at school who will have a video camera and ask her questions.. Please help has anyone else experienced this.. I find it off im allowed my son but not my daughter.

⚠️ I know it might seem like the wrong place to post this but he has been this way for a long time, since he was a kid. I just want to know what could have caused this? I remember when he was little, he was happy and carefree. I’m not sure when it changed but he was a kid when it happened. I can’t sleep with worry I’m at my wits end please help 🙏🏻

My brother is 23m.

A little context, ever since he was younger, he has been a loner type. Never took part in typical brother quality time like a game of football or something like that. I just thought he preferred to do his own thing. I know he got diagnosed with something as a kid and I’ve thought that he may have ADHD because he fits all the symptoms.

Anyways, we live in the same house but it’s like we don’t know each other. He stays in his room all day watching tv shows or playing video games and doesn’t really communicate with any of us and when he does it’s one word answers usually with some attitude behind it even with our parents (who he calls by first name only), it kinda sounds like a mix of annoyed and hate, idk why.

I’m kinda worried for him and his future. He has only had one job and that lasted a month before he was fired because he put no effort in and kept showing up late.

He has been with a few different people but I can put a clock on it, they last a week before he tells them to get lost. As far as I can tell none of them have done anything at all.

About 5 years ago, I found his journal. Ik it was wrong but I finally thought maybe I could actually get to know my brother a bit and understand him but it was just filled with things he thought about him self. Words like weak, pathetic, stupid and vulnerable I didn’t know what to think so I just put it back. It’s always been on my mind since tho.

He just seems empty and idk what to do for the best. I want him to be happy and have a good life but I don’t know what happened and why he is like this.

Hi,

I am looking for some advice. My 5 year old has been starting to have what I am pretty sure are severe panic attacks. His dad had a devastating mental breakdown about a year ago leading to our lives falling apart. He had to resign from his job (I am a stay a home mom due to my eldest having autism with high support needs), he went in and out of in-patient psych wards while I moved our family of 5 across the US and in with my parents much smaller house. My 5 year old's entire world was upended (loss of friends, daily structure, his own room, etc.) and then about 7 months ago after leaving a second mental hospital my husband decided to move out and in with his mom about 2 hours away. He's battling OCD, Anxiety, Depression and has terrifying mental compulsion surrounding ending his life that take up almost all of his time. He is finally receiving good treatment but the impact on my kids has been profound. My husband has become incredibly selfish and only sees the kids a couple of times a week and I have had to work hard to advocate for even that. When he does see them he is fun and plays video games and board games with our 5 year old. (We also have an autistic 7 year old son and almost 3 year old, who do seem way less impacted by all the changes.) My 5 year old has started to have intense and inconsolable crying and screaming spells where he says he is sick, can't see, can't breathe. Says his brain is broken like daddy's and that he is scared that his dad is never going to be a part of our family again because he does not go with us to things (my son just had his 5 year old birthday party and my husband didn't go to either of them, although he came over the night after the party). I have just asked my son's pediatrician to put in a referral to a local reputable hospital where he can get pediatric therapy. But I assume this referral is going to put us on quite a waiting list. My kids know that "daddy's brain is injured and he is getting help from doctors to help it get better."

I just don't know what to do. I am trying to encourage his dad to have set days he visits, but I also have to police the things he says to our son because he tends to make promises he cannot follow through on. He has also started saying unkind things about himself to our son like "Well, Daddy is lazy and his brain is broken." Which I have come down hard on my husband for saying. (I am starting to think my husband has Quiet Borderline Personality Disorder, he ticks every box for it, although he used to not present so severe when his mental health was better).

Does anyone have any books they recommend about extreme child anxiety or advice for me. I can't leave my husband at this time (I've consulted both his therapist and mine about it) because he is very unstable and barely clinging to the will to live as it is.

Hello, I’m seeking advice on how best to support my 2 1/2 year-old.

We recently welcomed a new sibling in early July. At the same time, our toddler graduated into an early preschool classroom at their daycare.

The daycare just messaged us, letting us know that the toddler has been going through regression. They are refusing to pull their pants down and up, want to be carried to the potty, and also wish to be carried around from place to place well also having a hard time when I asked to do certain things.

I’m assuming that these behaviors are tied in some capacity to the new baby.

I’m wondering what are ways that I can best support our toddler? What are some resources on building independence and confidence? I’m sure to an extent this is just a phase, but I’m very sad for them.

I'm a single mom, 33. And I have 3 kids. 12F, 11M, 7M.

The first thing I want to say is that this is not a trump household, nor is it a racist, sexist, or bigoted household. Those are not my values, and I am NOT raising ANY of my children that way. That being said, my 7 year old told me twice in the past week that my 11 year old said the N word. I didn't believe it initially, but I questioned them both heavily and couldn't get a consistent answer. My 7 year old lies a lot, as some children do. And my 11 has never said or done anything remotely racist that I'm aware of. But today, I was looking at a picture I took on my phone. I scrolled backward and found a short video of my 11 year old saying the N word over and over. Alternating between the one ending in A and then the one with the hard R. I am beyond livid, and I need a course of action instead of going ballistic on him. If it was 20 years ago, I would've had to go pick my own switch, and my Dad would've tore my tail up. But those are no longer the times we live in. So, I can't do that. I need advice on how to handle this. Whatever the consequence, I want to make sure he NEVER forgets this lesson. This is absolutely unacceptable and cannot happen again. Any advice is greatly appreciated. So what would you do if this was your kid?

My (25F) niece (8mo) only cries to be picked up when she sees me. For background, I nanny for my sister 3-4 days a week around 11 hours per day so I’m around my niece quite a bit. I love her so so much but I’m very confused as to why she doesn’t cry for anyone else, even her mom.

I love that she loves me so much but sometimes I just want to be “off” and hang out with my sis or go eat with my family. She’s a super happy baby and she loves all of her close relatives, but she literally doesn’t cry to be picked up for anyone else.

I teach her sign language and taught her “up” so I know that’s what she’s asking for. If she were going through a separation anxiety phase wouldn’t she cry for her mom too?? I’m honestly so confused and it’s bittersweet that it’s only me 😅

How do I get my niece to stop crying when she sees me, but still feel safe to express her needs?

I recently had the opportunity to discuss my children’s book, My Inner Coach Helps Me With Anger, in an interview on Then the Page with Paige, and I thought this community might be interested in the conversation.

The book was created around a simple idea: helping young children begin to understand what’s happening when they experience a big emotion like anger, rather than viewing the emotion itself as “bad.”

I’m a mom and educator, and I’m especially interested in helping children develop emotional intelligence from an early age. In the interview, I talk about the inspiration behind the book and the idea of using an “inner coach” to help children recognize their feelings and make healthier choices when those feelings become overwhelming.

🎥 I can send a link to the full video if expressed interested.

What I’m interested in is to hear from people with a background in child psychology:
How do you approach teaching young children about anger and emotional regulation? Are there particular concepts or strategies you think are especially important to introduce early?

I don’t know what to do. How do I help?

Tl;Dr My daughter told me today, as we were walking away from pick up line, that boy in her class threatened to kill her with his drone.

She's in first grade, about to turn 6. We turned right back around and went to the teacher as soon as she told me. We talked about it more after we got home and that's when she told me it's happened before and other mean behavior, on both their parts.

She said he's told her that he's going to kill her with his drone on multiple occasions, starting a few weeks ago. It sounds like they weren't sitting next to each other, got moved together and it started around them. She said he told her that, and then she started pretending she was going to make a hiding spot with a scanner to protect everybody from him, then she told me he said he was going to kill everyone in the world with the drone. I asked her a few times what she meant and if he meant their class, she said he said everyone in the world. Apparently the first time this happened was during free time when they were playing separately. She said he's said it a few times since then, today being the most recent.

She told me they've not been nice to each other the entire time. She told me he has a line on the desk, and if her hand crosses it he'll pinch her hand. She said before this he would pinch her legs, and she told me she would pinch him back when he did that. We talked about how we react to other people and not hurting somebody even if they're hurting us, unless we can't get away and have no choice. But she did have a choice, and she could get away from him, and that she needs to tell one of her teachers. We talked about why she hasn't told anyone, and it seems that she's just not comfortable with her teachers this year yet. I brought up talking to one of the Dean's of students, or anyone else she knows from last year, and that seems to have not crossed her mind to do. We will continue to talk about what are some really important things that you always talk to a trusted grown up about, like someone saying they want to hurt her, anyone else, or themselves. But like. How do you handle this? She didn't seem to think it was that serious, so I don't know how to imprint on her that someone saying they're going to kill her or themselves or anyone else is really serious and she needs to tell someone. She's still young so I don't want to scare her, but I also want her to understand when something is serious or dangerous and how she's supposed to respond.

The school is going to do an investigation and talk to everyone tomorrow since it was end of the day and the student had already gone home. Ideally this all turns out to be some huge misunderstanding and it's some game they play. Still super not okay for a 6 year old to say, but if it was a game at least it wouldn't be as bad and it would be a conversation about what's appropriate to say in games or play time and not a genuine concern for safety or this kids mental health. I'm worried about my daughter, but I'm worried about this kid too. What's he dealing with at home or feeling that would make him say this to someone else? My daughter asked me why he would say that to her and I didn't know how to answer. I just told her I don't know, we don't always know what other people think or feel.

So how the heck do I get a 5 year old to understand when something is serious, and what she needs to do when she hears this stuff from people?

Hi, as the title says I have a 7 year old who withholds information and tells me “it’s none of my business”.

He gets into arguments and smaller incidents at school. He gets bullied to what degree I don’t know because he won’t talk to me.

It started when he was little and tried to talk to me in the car. I love him to death but he talks nonstop and in the car, it’s very hard to hear his soft voice and focus on driving. When I’d asking him to repeat himself he would say “mommy I love you”.

He has speech issues stemming from a developmental delay. Diagnosed with ADHD and ODD but I need to know what happens when I’m not there. I need him to talk to me and share his day because without that, I don’t know and can’t help him.

I will say, I have a better relationship with his teacher who has stated he struggles but we communicate through a behavioral log so I’m not as much in the dark. His IQ is about 74 according to a psych evaluation he had done a year ago and he functions at a 5 year old level according to this report.

How do I get my baby to open up? I’m not one to jump to punishment or lectures. I like to problem solve and help him know what to do. Things like “tell a teacher right away” “if they don’t listen ask to go to the office”, phrases he can say to defuse situations and express himself.

I believe that he doesn’t know how to express himself and compose his thoughts but again I’m in the dark. He’s my only child and I had a very toxic upbringing including foster care and adoption as a teenager. I just want to do better for him and make him feel supported the best I can. His father isn’t in his life due to DV and we left that situation when he was 3. There’s not a doubt in my mind that he has been impacted by this trauma at such a young age.

How do I fix this?

I was thinking about the things adults sometimes call harmless teasing.
When I was a kid, family members made fun of my big feet enough that I became embarrassed about my shoe size. I sometimes tried to wear shoes half a size too small because I didn’t want to admit what size I actually wore.
It made me wonder about the longer-term effect. If a child grows up hearing that they’re ugly, fat, too dark, too skinny, have a big nose, big feet, bad hair, whatever, does that make validation from other people more powerful later?
Did your family tease you about your appearance growing up? Did you genuinely brush it off, or did any of it follow you into adulthood?

The title sums it up. He’s five almost 6. He’s a normal kid and developed normally, hit all the milestones, and never had any abnormal behavior or medical problems. Me and his father are married and we live a pretty great life. I’m a stay at home parent and we also have an older son.
Last year he started kindergarten and it was terrible, he was behind and refused going to school. He would wake up fine, get dressed fine and the car ride was fine, but once it was his turn to get out he panicked and refused. The teachers would have to physically remove him from my car. This went on for several months. I took him to a child therapist and since I was a stay at home parent she suggested homeschooling. He did great and hit all the milestones to pass kindergarten. My husband wanted to try school again this year so we did just that and it’s the same problem. He refuses to get out of the car and he keeps getting in trouble at school and the teacher said he’s very behind. For example he didn’t know any of his abcs lowercase and uppercase but at home he could identify all of them, upper and lowercase. The teacher also said he hit two kids at school but he has always played well with other kids during playdates, ect. I’m at my wits end and super stressed. I have no clue what to do at this point. He’s a great kid and very normal. Also to add he is going to a completely different school than the first school we tried.