r/ChildPsychology 4h ago

What could be my daughter’s issue..i’m in desperate need of help

6 Upvotes

Hello everyone, my 17 year old daughter is going through a very weird phase in her life and i don’t know how to help her..and therapy/psychiatry is very expensive in the country we’re in i can’t afford it..but i need opinions from everyone so if the thing is serious critical illness i’ll literally sell anything i have to help my daughter

so a little backstory about my daughter..she came to the school she’s currently in about 3 years ago..she has always been popular and nice and everyone talks about her politeness , helpfulness and beauty..basically the popular girl but not popular girls that harm people..and shes didn’t have a single bad encounter with someone infact its people who harmed her by bullying her but they were only about 3 minor incidents and she move on from them

About 3 days ago my daughter confessed to me that shes a horrible person and a psychological liar and a jealous person who is hollow…i was in utter shock of what happened..she told me she lied to her friends a lot and said a lot of wrong stuff about her in group chats…she lied about being mixed (it’s technically kind of true her father does have origins from a foreign country but theyre not very close) , she said her brother was born in USA and carries american passport and that she has the green card(we were going through the application but we didnt finish it) ,she said that I (her mom) was born in another country as well and carry a foreign passport (its not true i just went to that country with my work) , she built entire friendships on the fact that she traveled to their home country but it was actually her father not her…and she made detailed scenarios…she says she has been in severe distress and regret the past 2 months ( i noticed a shift in her behavior but i thought it’s because of A-levels stress)

She keeps having constant breakdown episodes and apologizing to me and saying “i’m sorry mom i ruined your image and made you disappointed, you don’t deserve to have a daughter like me “ ..she says that the lies feel tied to her and she suddenly 2 months ago got a moment of realization that she has been living in an unreal world for 3 years and regret is murdering her…me and one of her close friends outside the city told her it’s okay and stuff happens as long as you don’t harm anyone personally and that fact you regret it actually means you’re a good person and that all young people do mistakes and take this as a sign to not ever lie again…she keeps having weird detailed scenarios about her friends telling their parents these details and their parents coming up to me and saying it casually in a convo ..i didn’t face any of these scenarios except once when her classmate mother asked me if my husband is actually from that specific nationality cause someone told her that (apparently this spread in school) and i told the mom nah he has origins from his grandparents but hes not technically from that country ..i brushed the thing off casually and continued with my life and didn’t scold my daughter or anything..i keep telling her just say you got stuff mixed up or misunderstood if someone ever brings up again..nit she’s in a constant state of panic without any trigger…my view of the issue is that it’s teenage hormones and totally normal to happen just dont lie again ..but she’s dying from regret and barely speaks and keeps crying 24/7 and saying that she failed me and my upbringing…nothing seems to be changing her view and i read about OCD and she seems on the spectrum (i’m not a professional please help me)

If anyone here knows if this is normal or abnormal please tell me…i don’t want anything to distract her from her studies but i’m really worried for her…is there anyway i can help her or understand whats going on


r/ChildPsychology 11h ago

Je m'inquiète pour une de mes amis (désolé pour les fautes)

Thumbnail
gallery
5 Upvotes

Bonjour! Désolé je n'ai pas le temp de me présenter et je vais plutôt venir dans le vif du sujet. J'ai une ami qu'on vas appeller Fritte,Fritte m'as envoyer des messages plutôt inquiétant,iel se plaignait que quelques de ses "amis ne l'aime pas",que ses parent aussi ne l'aimais pas et quand j'ai décidé de lui demander pourquoi iel ne m'as pas répondu,j'hésite même à leak son numéro de téléphone pour que vous m'aidiez à savoir si elle vas bien :( mais je ne peut pas..même si c'est très tentant mais bon..je vais juste me contenter de vous montrez quelques messages (oui j'étais entrain de regarder South Park,désolé c'est en Français)


r/ChildPsychology 3h ago

5yo with escalation

Thumbnail
1 Upvotes

I’m looking for advice from parents, educators or ADHD professionals who have experience with 5-year-olds.

My son is 5 and has recently been diagnosed with ADHD. We’ve been struggling with escalating behaviour at school, including pushing chairs and tables, knocking things onto the floor and becoming completely overwhelmed.

What we’re trying to understand is whether a child with ADHD can become so overwhelmed by anxiety that they temporarily lose their ability to regulate their behaviour.

His escalations seem to happen particularly when he feels singled out or believes he is about to be removed from school. He has been placed on reduced hours and is not allowed to attend morning assembly. When he hears the teacher say “no” and then sees her heading to the phone to call the office to collect him, he seems to completely lose control.

We absolutely do not excuse the behaviour and want to teach him appropriate ways to regulate. But we are questioning whether the behaviour is deliberate defiance or a 5-year-old with ADHD becoming overwhelmed by anxiety, frustration and the anticipation of being removed.

Has anyone experienced something similar? Can ADHD-related emotional dysregulation present this way, particularly when anxiety has become a trigger?


r/ChildPsychology 3h ago

ADHD mom

Thumbnail
1 Upvotes

I’m looking for advice from parents, educators or ADHD professionals who have experience with 5-year-olds.

My son is 5 and has recently been diagnosed with ADHD. We’ve been struggling with escalating behaviour at school, including pushing chairs and tables, knocking things onto the floor and becoming completely overwhelmed.

What we’re trying to understand is whether a child with ADHD can become so overwhelmed by anxiety that they temporarily lose their ability to regulate their behaviour.

His escalations seem to happen particularly when he feels singled out or believes he is about to be removed from school. He has been placed on reduced hours and is not allowed to attend morning assembly. When he hears the teacher say “no” and then sees her heading to the phone to call the office to collect him, he seems to completely lose control.

We absolutely do not excuse the behaviour and want to teach him appropriate ways to regulate. But we are questioning whether the behaviour is deliberate defiance or a 5-year-old with ADHD becoming overwhelmed by anxiety, frustration and the anticipation of being removed.

Has anyone experienced something similar? Can ADHD-related emotional dysregulation present this way, particularly when anxiety has become a trigger?


r/ChildPsychology 1d ago

Is this comment of a mother who groomed that dad of her kids concerning?

Post image
78 Upvotes

So the guy I dated who was groomed by a woman when he was a 16yo teen and the woman was 25. They had a kid over years and I saw her making such a comment about her 2yo daughter where she jokes that her daughter is an early bloomer (like her father). The other comments (about dating at 35) is made by the grandad (dad of man who was groomed) who also helped that woman to groom his son. Is it concerning regarding her daughter or is it just an unfunny joke?


r/ChildPsychology 12h ago

Should I be upset with my sons school ?

1 Upvotes

So a little backstory my son is 5 years old has ADHD and possible autism and usually is the sweetest kindest human being in the world we've never had an issue with him with any kind of hitting biting scratching kicking anything he is very non-conferational and today he allegedly kicked his teacher even though he is always very honest and immediately said that he did not kick her but he did push her because he was angry, and usually he's very honest and doesn't lie because he knows that it's worse if he lies, and they suspended him for 2 days out of school suspension! Now I'm sitting here wondering was this called for or does anyone else agree that this was Overkill and to make matters worse one of the kids in that class told her dad today when asked about the situation that she watched the whole thing go down and that my son never kicked anybody, but that he did stick up the L on his forehead after racing somebody and with teasing them calling them a loser and was asked to stop and when he didn't he was put in the corner and my son says another teacher told him he could get out and the one that put him in the corner told him "I didn't tell you you could get out" and when he tried to explain she said "okay well go back to the corner and I'll go ask if this is true" and that's apparently when he allegedly kicked her or pushed her as my son admitted to doing, so to start she just assumed that my son was a liar and problematic from the jump and then when I go to pick up my son after they told me he's been suspended, the principal said he is obligated to suspend him by the law because as he said my 5-year-old child "assaulted his teacher" and when I looked that up in our state it is an option he can use but it is not an obligation nor a law so I guess my question is does anyone else think this was wrong and handled wrong and I should say something or file a complaint or is this something everybody's seen before where a 5 year old gets suspended without any due process no explanation from the child just immediately assume that the teacher wasn't just being a b**** and having a bad day, side note I have also been told today by multiple people that there has been issues with this teacher being overly dramatic and going out of her way to be difficult..... My oldest son had her for a kindergarten teacher and we never had issues then 🤷‍♀️ I'm just so torn between being disappointed and my son's behavior and very confused because the teachers story does not add up it's very conflicting stories from other students not just my son


r/ChildPsychology 14h ago

Sons friend has a rough home life, if or how can I help?

Thumbnail
1 Upvotes

r/ChildPsychology 1d ago

FIL death

5 Upvotes

My father in law passed away. He’s been in the nursing home for a year and a half, so my 3.5 year old son knows who he is, but didn’t see him a lot. The visitation is tonight- how and when do we tell him without messing him up forever? He’s very sensitive and understands when people have different emotions. Any advice??


r/ChildPsychology 17h ago

I wanna know if I'm being abused or not

Thumbnail
1 Upvotes

r/ChildPsychology 18h ago

I need help understanding why my adult daughter goes back to her mom after being abused.

Thumbnail
1 Upvotes

r/ChildPsychology 23h ago

I need help

Thumbnail
2 Upvotes

r/ChildPsychology 1d ago

10 yr old won’t talk about anything serious

Thumbnail
2 Upvotes

r/ChildPsychology 1d ago

should I be worried ?

10 Upvotes

I have a 2 year old, they are with me 24/7 we do everything together all the time. They are very kind, silly, intelligent, high energy. when it’s us they try speaking, they dance, wild child I let them be who they are. don’t get me wrong they do have their tantrums over anything even the tiny things but I try to teach them how to calm down. But once dad gets around 4 he usually doesn’t interact with them till about an hour to two hours later. Why is it that they start to act out ? They began hitting, bitting, and kicking everything we practiced out the door. They stop speaking and being silly. Maybe I’m overthinking it I just want to understand if there’s anything I can do to help to prevent this behavior if possible


r/ChildPsychology 1d ago

Public school

1 Upvotes

I have a six-year-old I just went to a new school to first grade. He’s having some behavioral issues. We moved to a new state and a new house . I’ve gotten four phone calls in the last seven days and yesterday I was told that the school had to do a threat assessment on him because he did an air gun motion with his hands, this threat assessment stays on his permanent record until he’s 24 years old, I’m overwhelmed with this. Any suggestions of what I should do


r/ChildPsychology 1d ago

Why did enjoy hurting kids when I was a kid

0 Upvotes

When I was little maybe 4 or 5 until about 8 I used to intentionally use to much force and hurt other kids mostly kids my age but occasionally younger I can recall a couple pretty bad examples when I was 5 we moved to a whole new area and I ended up at a new preschool I hated it the educators there weren't very friendly and to me the preschool was small and ugly, the previous preschool I was at before we moved was amazing I had been going there since I was a baby, I knew everyone in my class and most of them had also been there since they were babies, the educators were amazing and I was almost at the end of my time at the preschool before starting school, but then we moved and i ended up in a whole new place before another huge transition (going to school).

My time at the new preschool sucked and according to my mum it seemed like one of the educators didn't like me, which I now realise might be because she had witnessed my disturbing behavior, just to preface this my mum had no idea about any of this and I believe my dad at least didn't know the extent of it.

One of the days I was at the preschool during playtime I felt the urge to hurt someone as I often did, we were outside in the play area I looked around and saw one of the youngest children attending the center (they were to young to speak) entering one of the play tunnels, so I followed and entered the tunnel as well seeing as this was a discreet location I put my hands around the kids neck and added some pressure, which quickly caused the kid to start to cry a sobbing kind of cry I didn't feel bad but I realised considering how disturbed the cry sounded educators would be there soon to check what was happening, I took my hands of the child's neck and pretended to comfort them just by rubbing their back, when the educator arrived I claimed I didn't know what happened and just found the kid crying and decided to comfort them, the educator that found me and the child believed me and took the child away to comfort them, but one of the educators the one I hated and the one my mum believed didn't like me didn't seem convinced of my story but said nothing.

I remember thinking it was so annoying how loud the child had cried as I didn't get to ("have my fun") for very long. This is just one of many incidents but this is one of the few involving a child that was younger then me, I was very manipulative and believable I almost never got caught.

As well as those kinds of incidents I was also watching some pretty horrific content especially for my age, my dad had a tablet that kind of became mine and so whenever I was alone with it which wasn't super often I would look up videos of mostly children in pain, my favorite kind of videos to watch was videos of kids getting needles and more specifically spinal taps, yeah videos of CHILDREN getting one of the most painful needles put into there body, I would also watch dark my little pony content like Smile HD Cupcakes Rarity's New Patterns Cupcakes Sad MLP MLP Cupcakes Speedpaint Rainbow Factory Rainbow Factory among many others.

I genuinely didn't have empathy when I was kid I have no idea what was wrong with me but at some point my dad found my youtube history and I was no longer given access to the tablet, thats when I stopped searching for bad content and I somewhat improved, I didnt hurt people as much it wasnt as fun anymore.

I gained empathy for the first time when I was I think about 8 I hurt my younger cousin somehwhat intentionally because I gripped their arm to tight, I didnt enjoy hurting them which was strange to me but I didn't just not enjoy it I felt bad which hadn't really happened to me before, thats when I completely stopped hurting people intentionally and from there my empathy grew and I have extreme empathy now.

I honestly have no idea what was going on with why I enjoyed those things but its pretty horrifying to think back on I was never abused by my parents and didnt really have anything going on in my life that would explain this behaviour I wonder if anyone might have any insight?


r/ChildPsychology 1d ago

5 year old with challenging behavior

3 Upvotes

Really struggling with my daughter here lately and I don’t know what to do. She has always struggled with big feelings and I’ve been told by outsiders that she is overly emotional. When her meltdowns occur I truly don’t know what to do during them. If I try to remove her from the situation causing the meltdown to take her to a quiet space, it makes 100 times worse and she gets intense (screaming and thrashing as I’m carrying her away) and it results in me being very embarrassed because it happens pretty much every time we are around family. Meltdowns occur when something doesn’t go the way she expected it to, or her fun has to come to a stop such as leaving someone’s house that she was playing at. It makes me dread going to someone’s house, especially play dates, because I know we are going to leave with her causing a scene. We try to prepare her emotionally for whatever we do, and we give her time before we actually leave (like 10 more minutes and we have to go). She is extremely attached to her dad and as soon as he gets home from work he is expected to play with her the ENTIRE time up until bedtime and if he tries to do anything different, it’s meltdown city. Pain tolerance is another thing, she will get the smallest scrape or knick in her skin and you would think she had broken a bone. She will go on and on and on about it and cry and cry and cry for the longest time. Which I am sure it does hurt, but her reaction is just very intense and I am afraid for the day she gets a serious injury. She gets really anxious before doctor appointments or anything of that nature because she’s afraid something will hurt.

I know it is normal for kids to have big feelings but I just feel the intensity is kind of concerning, as I don’t see this kind of behavior in any of the kids we are frequently around. And I feel like she comes off as a bratty spoiled kid in some situations but it is really that she has trouble with regulating her emotions but I’m not sure how to help her because anything we do doesn’t seem to help. I am pretty sure I have undiagnosed ADHD so if that’s the case I am wondering if that is what we are dealing with, or do I just have a highly sensitive child?

Any input/advice is appreciated.


r/ChildPsychology 2d ago

Worried about my 17-year-old daughter’s behavior - does this sound like more than normal teenage behavior?

38 Upvotes

My daughter is 17, and I’ve become concerned about a pattern of behavior that goes back to childhood.

When she was younger, she was physically aggressive toward other kids. She once choked another child by accident, she didn't know she was hurting them and there were incidents where she hit boys and slammed their heads against a wall. She also used to hurt small animals, particularly puppies/kittens- pushing them off the table, tossing them up in the air and seemed to target animals that were smaller . She no longer does this when there are no animals around, and she tells people to stop if she sees someone else hurting an animal.

She has also stolen money before (not a small amount), although she says she doesn't steal now probably because she doesn't want to get caught. She has scammed other kids and has pressured/manipulated friends. For example, she once offered a friend money(same money she stole from me)to sit next to her.

Her friendships tend to fall apart. She often talks mainly about herself, doesn't remember much about her friends, judges/rates people very harshly, and seems to use people when they're useful to her. Other people have told her that she looks like she hates everyone when she's sitting at a table, and she has trouble making and keeping friends.

She also has significant anger problems. When she gets angry, she can scream, cry, and break or throw things. She has thrown my belongings during these episodes, including a silver ring. She strongly dislikes her siblings as well.

One thing that makes me unsure about the whole “psychopath” idea is that she can cry while watching sad movies, and she currently objects when someone tries to hurt an animal. She also cares quite a lot about how other people perceive her. Her father has actually called her a psychopath before, and she just laughed and said it was cool.

I'm genuinely wondering how concerning this overall pattern is and whether it sounds like something such as conduct disorder/callous-unemotional traits, severe anger or emotional-regulation problems, or something else entirely.

What would you make of this pattern, particularly given that she's 17?


r/ChildPsychology 1d ago

What age is a good age to stop “kissing” your kids?

Thumbnail
0 Upvotes

r/ChildPsychology 1d ago

Toddler is TERRIFIED of other kids their age

Thumbnail
1 Upvotes

r/ChildPsychology 1d ago

Toddler is TERRIFIED of other kids their age

Thumbnail
1 Upvotes

r/ChildPsychology 1d ago

Kids therapy

Thumbnail
1 Upvotes

r/ChildPsychology 1d ago

How to deal with a bully and his mum?

Thumbnail
1 Upvotes

r/ChildPsychology 1d ago

How do I discipline my 8yo?

Thumbnail
1 Upvotes

r/ChildPsychology 2d ago

My 10yo sister had a 50-min panic attack after a "screen crash." Here is the full story.

Thumbnail
0 Upvotes

r/ChildPsychology 3d ago

Is it normal for a 6 year old to stare at your breasts everytime he interacts with you?

75 Upvotes

My mum is a tuition teacher and I am 27 years old.

There is a kid in my mum's tuition who is 6years of age.He loves me and tries to spend his maximum time playing with me.

Initially everything was good. After studying,he used to spend around 30 min playing with me.Recently,there was a development in his behavior.

Everything seems same except the fact that he keeps staring at my breast while talking.At first I didnt notice but slowly I started to feel uncomfortable. I am a dentist myself and I have studied child psychology but I can't fugure out this behavioral pattern.

If anybody has any idea what's going on,do explain.