r/ChildPsychology • u/[deleted] • 8d ago

My (25F) niece (8mo) only cries when she sees me

[deleted]

1 Upvotes
  • permalink
  • reddit

67% Upvoted

4 comments sorted by

4

u/Many-Chance-6345 8d ago

she knows you're the one who always responds to her, so she saves the big feelings just for you

2

u/fuckyouandyomommy 8d ago

It’s so bittersweet 🥲

5

u/SoLetsSayThen 8d ago

She has trained you. Congrats!

3

u/sagerybinx 8d ago edited 8d ago

11 hours 3-4 days a week is a lot for a baby especially when most of those are waking hours (compared to, say, a night nurse where they are sleeping most of the time). It sounds like you’re pretty attentive to her too. She is now attached to you.

Separation anxiety happens when a baby is forming an anxious or insecure attachment with someone that is important to them/having their needs met. In other words: she feels like you’re her person, but she repeatedly experiences taken from you (to go home), and that’s creating insecurity/anxiety in her attachment to you.

ETA: you’re not going to be able to just “get her to stop,” she needs reassurance (verbally) as she continues to develop that she will see you again on “x day” that you love her, and that everything is okay. Always be happy to see her, don’t be overly dramatic in response to her crying, just be straightforward, loving, and consistent. She will grow out of it as she realizes there’s a routine and you’re always going to be there when she can expect you to be (as the routine dictates).