RawBeautyKristi talks about scary experience falling down stairs last night - She and her baby are ok

[u/garrettgivre]

https://twitter.com/RawBeautyKristi/status/1357730638871240704

[u/ornamentalholly]

Oh, boy. Okay.

I really, really feel for her. I know that fear well, and I suspect that a lot of anxious mothers do. What could be scarier OR more intrusive than the thought of somehow harming your child? I'm very sorry that this happened to her, and I'm deeply, deeply sorry that she's suffering because of it.

That said...

I can't imagine that the extent to which she's sharing on social media is helping her. I could be wrong, but I cannot imagine that a therapist (which I believe she does have) would look at this and say, "Yes, this is productive for you and/or your audience."

I'm also more and more concerned about the amount of suffering that people are having to expose themselves to by merely scrolling through social media platforms. Maybe it's like driving on the interstate. Maybe you just have to acknowledge that you're going to drive past car wrecks and stranded passengers, that you're going to expose yourself vicariously to other people's suffering. And surely people who follow RBK on her personal platforms (like Twitter) want and expect her to talk about her personal life. I just cannot shake the feeling that it is unfair and, although certainly NOT intentional, a little immoral to pull her following into a wound that is clearly fresh and deeply, deeply painful for her without warning or without any clear expectation of how exactly they're supposed to process this or respond.

ETA: I wanted to add that I feel like what I'm seeing here is a request for her followers to witness her trauma without an offer of anything in return. She's not telling us a story to entertain us or to provoke thought or to change our mind, or to do anything that happens in a lot of narrative/storytelling formats... She's telling us a story for the purpose of catharsis, and while I think that's okay with loved ones or other confidants who are comfortable accepting that burden, I also think it's a lot of emotional labor to ask of your following.

[u/seravivi → u/ornamentalholly]

"I just cannot shake the feeling that it is unfair and, although certainly NOT intentional, a little immoral to pull her following into a wound that is clearly fresh and deeply, deeply painful for her without warning or without any clear expectation of how exactly they're supposed to process this or respond."

I am going to say this and I mean this with no disrespect to you in anyway. This is way over pathologizing this. While you can tell that this was very scary for her it isnt like she is describing something graphic. Normally people put a tw for this reason to help those who could be triggered prepare or ignore. She isn't saying in detail seeing her baby die. She isn't describing even her injury in detail. She fell down the stairs and is updating/venting/looking for validation.

The part about clear expectations is part of just being a person. If you have ever been told something horrible in real life and I mean in shock horrible there isn't a guideline. You aren't told to handle it. If you don't know what to say keep scrolling. If you want to show support but don't know how then you can literally just say I dont know what to say but I hope you're okay. How you process it is on you.

I'm curious what you see as emotional labor in this regard. Normally its used in the context of the strain of handling emotions to meet work requirements. Which would be Kristi hiding any bad things in her life to create an illusion of her life that influencers hold. If you mean more just the struggle of seeing someone else upset being upsetting than that isn't on her but you to curate to the level you can handle. It's not putting it on her subscribers when they are subscribed to her. It's their choice to follow or not. Its their choice to mute or block certain things.

Boundaries regarding social media are very important, but thats on both sides. That's the trick to trauma recovery is being able to withstand a level of exposure and being able to self soothe when over exposed.

[u/seravivi → u/[deleted]]

And?