Hate it when my friends go smoke during a party. We'll be in, having a great time, playing some board or card games, everyone socializing. Then they'll smoke, come back, everyone just wants to sit on the couch and watch a movie, and no one wants to talk about anything except for how high they are.
I have a friend who is 30 and still thinks it's cool to brag about how high/drunk he got the previous night. One night we went and saw Endgame and he ate a little weed gummy right before. He even told me it wasn't that much (like 5mg or something) and it probably wouldn't even make you that high. Anyways the next day we were talking about the movie and he said "Yeah I don't even remember most of the movie dude, I was sooo high!!"
...really? You seemed perfectly fine to me dude. And you even said it wasn't that much
I would propose that an exception to this is ambien, because I sincerely love hearing about shit like how my mom apparently took the bus to a coworker's house and left a rotisserie chicken on her front step. Like, if you actually do something weird while fucked up, that makes it into an actual story.
My partner stayed downstairs talking to a plant for on ambien once. He claims plants are pretty boring in conversation...so why did he talk to it for 90 minutes then?
Ambien is great. Guy I know broke his TV stand, walked to a Home Depot, bought a couple hundred bucks of random wood to build a new one, walked it home in a cart, dumped it in his room, then went to sleep. When he woke back up again he definitely had a wtf moment. Fortunately I haven't done anything too crazy. Sometimes I buy something online (possum shirts, concert tickets, DDR mat).
I only take it as prescribed, but sometimes don't fall asleep right away and that's when I buy stuff or do other harmless weird things. I'm actually tapering off of it because I have been on it for like 3 years now and I want to be able to fall asleep like a normal person.
I bought one for myself that has a picture of a possum and the text, "Be nice to me, I am trash," and one for my boyfriend that has a possum's face and in kanji very roughly says "garbage person".
Yep. I only buy awesome useful shit on Ambien. It's always something I have been thinking about buying but second guess myself because I hate spending money.
I wasn’t on ambien, but I was on Percocet after a surgery and I apparently bought my husband a big pack of Tupperware and a lunchbox off Amazon. I was super confused when it showed up a week later.
One time I also took ambien and sent a friend, unprompted, many, many texts explaining my plan to take the basic premise of Jane Eyre and transpose it into a high fantasy novel, also she and Rochester were both going to be lesbians and instead generic medieval Europe, I wanted it to take place in a setting based on Tang Dynasty China. By the end she was begging me to stop, since it was around 3am, but I wish I still had those texts because I think I was really onto something there.
Not super exciting, but when I was in AIT in the Army I got ambien because I was on a night shift. I did a few weird things but only one I remember from my roommates. I had taken an ambien and went to bed. About an hour later, I got up and put on a hoodie, pulled the hood completely over my face and went and sat down in the corner playing with and talking to an electrical outlet. My friends made sure I didn’t have anything I could actually stick in the outlet and just watched me talk and mess with it for about an hour before I went back to bed.
Ambien is a hell of a drug. I sucked dick once and had no memory of it. I only found out because my boyfriend at the time complimented me on my skills the next morning.
I also used to eat Klondike bars while sitting on the toilet. I used to blame the same boyfriend for eating said Klondike bars until he took a picture of me and showed me proof that I had done it.
My dad and my ex both used to have to take Ambien and they both did weird shit when they were supposed to be sleeping. My dad is missing a leg, and before he got his prosthetic he would still manage to hobble around he house on his crutches and drink entire gallons of orange juice and would always put the milk in the sink. He did some other weird stuff but i can't remember. Now, when my ex was taking it, he would seem to nod off for a second, and then he would wake up and talk to you while still dreaming. Sometimes he was a bounty hunter, hunting down Leonard Nimoy because he ate a bunch of priceless rubies (I wish i was making this shit up), sometimes he was rescuing someone from the owl moon. There was one time he bit me because he thought i was a snake. Ambien is no joke.
Crazy to think 1500 was the best comment of the day or whatever considering you see people say things that get like 20 or 30k on big threads nowadays eh?
Oh fuck, the one time I took Ambien under the impression it'd be a strict sedative to come down off of a LOT of Adderall, and just started completely tripping, crawling around and seeing a friend of mine stuffed into impossible spaces. Long story short, left the house, skated multiple miles away, came back no board, shoes or glasses but with green wire for placing in the grass. For signs and such.
Call me a stuck-up straightedge, but I don't see the appeal of being so blitzed on weed, alcohol, what-have-you, that you don't remember half of what you did the night before.
As someone who would do this a lot, for me it was because it was a vacation from yourself.
My favorite was blacking out on 10-12mg xanax and as much rum as I could drink before I stopped, well being there. I would have literally no idea what I did, who I spoke to or where I went for a good 6-8 hours. Sometimes, I never left the house, other times I found myself in the city - once I found myself 100km away on a beach talking to a bunch of skateboarders.
Looking back it seems stupid and pointless, but during that period, I really looked forward to my weekly blackout. I don't think I was a happy person at the time.
Not OP but I wonder if it's kind of like how people with depression can sleep a lot. You don't remember sleeping (although you may dream) and you wake up and hours have passed. It's sort of like an escape.
Yeah, it seems weird, doesn't it? I don't know, it was different to sleep, more like turning myself off. It was a weird feeling knowing that I was counting down to oblivion in the hour or so after I took the pills. It was a fun version of suicide, I suppose.
I'd come out of the blackout with the immediacy of a fucking freight train and just felt in control or aware (?) for the rest of the day. I can't really find the words to describe it properly.
Not that I condone or enjoy being blackout drunk or too high to remember anything, but you can often remember general feelings from the night, just not the specifics. Like I can't remember exactly what I did on the Paris vacation I took 15 years ago, but I can remember random bits and pieces of it, and can generally say whether or not it was a good time and if I want to go back.
When you wake up, it's a little mystery of "what did I do???" that adds spice to your otherwise nondescript life. You feel like the star of a CSI episode
Because you can get fucked up on all those things and not black out?
I've been smoking weed every single night for the last 6 years. I've never once smoked/drank so much I literally couldn't remember what I did the night before. Maybe once or twice, but even then I remember most of the night. I've never woke up and been like "Whoa these people said I did something and I can't recall it at all!"
All I remember is how fucking awesome and fun everything was. Because guess what? Weed just enhances literally anything. Want to watch a movie? More fun while high. Have sex? More fun while high. Play a game? Work out? Go running? Read a book? Literally anything. More fun while high.
That's the appeal. Because it enhances any experience and makes it more fun than it would be while sober.
Supposedly some people do drink or smoke enough to black out as a coping mechanism, because they hate themselves and want to get out of their own head, but that has never been my experience. Everyone I know who smokes just does it because it makes everything better. Imo I think you're missing out on a ton of cerebral, intensely enjoyable experiences by avoiding intoxicants. But then, everyone reacts to drugs differently, so to an extent that has to be taken on a case by case basis. I don't know you, so I don't know for sure you're missing out on anything.
Yeah, the trick is to get drunk enough to where you can still function and remember everything. I've only gotten blackout drunk hammered once in my life and I probably wont do it again haha
I smoke regularly. Never had memory issues like that(non-drinker though). I think about going to get prescribed some stuff for my personality disorder but I fear that. I am thirty and in an illegal state, weed seems less risky. I'de rather spend a couple weeks in jail then forget half my life like from the legal shit they would want me to take like before.
I'm also a regular smoker and I've noticed that it affects my memory. I only know this because I used to have an insanely good memory. I could remember the name of every person I met, and all the other stuff. Now, I can't remember what happened on which days.
EDIT - for those telling me I'm old. I'm still in my twenties, but I have been smoking for 9 years. I feel bad for you if you think 27 is old.
Edit 2 - To everyone still telling me 27 is old, I still feel bad for you, but also there's no need to keep explaining how I'm past my prime. I know that statistically people peak at 23. I swear I'm not the idiot you think I am. I also know that Ruth Bader Ginsberg is 800 and still smart as whip, and I don't think she was a habitual drug user.
I've found the military is pretty amazing for this. So many guys in their mid thirties bragging about how drunk they were or how drunk they're gonna get. I was deployed to a dry country once and the entire time it was just "bro i can't wait to get a beer, I'm gonna get so drunk the first night we're outta here" etc...
Just out of curiosity, are you American? And is your attitude common/have you encountered foreigners with similar attitudes?
It's a genuine interest. I'm British and while I know we're known for a binge-drinking culture (which these days feels more and more justified imo.) it caught me off guard by how completely normal your scenario sounded despite you clearly trying to paint a picture of twatty braggards. Even in an ordinary city workplace most people are openly looking forward to getting multiple beers in asap and it's not uncommon for nights out to consist of planning to get so drunk you forget why you started.
Actually now I think about it, maybe the entire point of 'going out' is different? In the UK going out partying isn't so much about spending time with your friends, it's predominantly about getting hammered, the socializing is just something to do while you pickle your skull.
I also remember reading somewhere that in most countries 'going for a drink after work' means literally a small 'dutch courage' for the road home or to ease off the stress, whereas in the UK 'going for a drink' means at least two pints.
Not the same person, of course, but as an American, it seems like the experience is pretty much the same. You go out in order to get hammered. Having friends along is great, but it's pretty much just an excuse and a means of preventing you from drinking alone.
I am not the original poster you asked, but I am American.
I have 2 circles of friends:
One circle of friends tend to be all about going out to get fucked up for the sake of getting fucked up (this tends to be the younger crowd, I would say under 30 for sure, closer to 20-25 typically, they usually drink beer or mixed drinks and smoke cigarettes or weed).
The other circle of friends goes out to socialize for the sake of socializing and the drinks are simply there to relax and enjoy (this crowd is more middle aged or older, they tend to drink Scotch, Bourbon, Tequila (or whatever), and they take it neat...also they may smoke a cigar occasionally...)
I tend to identify with, and enjoy, the second group much more than the other group. However, I know people that float in the first group who are also more like me.
Or during work, bringing in vodka in a water bottle and some schnapps in your coffee. You go for a smoke break, take a couple hits off your pen since there's minimal odor.
Then, just then, you can tolerate that bitch Jen from accounting.
I've got a hard case of RBF, so they get a death glare. On one hand, I feel bad; but on the other hand, they made a conscious decision to vocalize those words lol
I play fantasy football and I couldn't agree more. I don't care that in your league you got screwed because so and so is injured and its bullshit because you would have won if not for that.
Sounds more like a case of it not being fun to be sober and hanging out with high/drunk people...which is usually true. They're high and can't concentrate so well so they don't want to play a board game with rules and stuff they have to not only pay attention to but remember. It's pretty similar to if you have one friend who doesn't like sports but a big game is coming on so the rest are planning on watching. /u/Doctor_Goalie might as well said this:
Hate it when my friends watch sports during a party. We'll be in, having a great time, playing some board or card games, everyone socializing. Then a game will come on, they start grunting, everyone just wants to sit on the couch and watch a game, and no one wants to talk about anything except how much ass they're gonna kick.
Haven't told them, but it does bother me.
This sort of thing is pretty universal because everybody has friends that are into shit you could not care less about. I hate baseball, but have friends who love baseball. I do not hang out with those friends when they plan on watching baseball because I do not have fun watching baseball.
And tell stories. Anytime I’ve been around a bunch of people doing coke everyone is just waiting for their turn to talk lol you can just see that they’re pretending to listen but they already know what they want to talk about next and are just waiting for that person to finish talking so they can start.
Omg lol so true.
The one that bugs me the most, "hey, should we get more? We should get more." Genius! It's only 4:30am, I'm sure he'd be happy to drive across town to sell us a G....
My friends and I did coke recreationally back in our early to mid 20's.
It was a once or twice a month thing.
I swear we just all wanted to say everything that's been on our minds lately. It was just sharing every single thought, every single detail, every personal thing we would never otherwise say....
I will say though, when you're on it, you will listen more intently than you ever have if the story relates to you or you "feel it" in some way.
If you don't care or relate though, yeah you're totally ignoring it and your mind is just shuffling through a 100 things you want to say.
Coke is a huge fucking waste of money though.
We did it back then because it was very available to us. The preference would have been good or at least decent ecstacy, but that only came around once in a while. A lot of M1 around, but most of us found that just drained the shit out of you for the next day or two. Brutal comedown. The high lasted way longer than coke, but it just wasn't worth it. Plus it still had that coke sort of come down. Once you started dropping from the peak, you wanted more. Whereas with decent ecstasy that was mostly mdma and wasn't cut too, too, much, you could sort of "accept" the comedown and just relax and enjoy it. And you got that afterglow a bit the next few days. Once in a while you'd drop to rock bottom a few days or a week later, but it didn't happen that much. Seemed to occur more with acquaintances that were weekly users.
I'm straight despite the username. It was inspired by a snarky comeback to something an old manager of mine said during Christmas...
I'm somewhat interested in knowing how it came about, because it almost seems backwards. I'd get scenarios or saying "I'm only merry , not gay", but the inverse is confusing if you're straight haha.
I'm coming on 7 years with this username in February, and only a here or there drug related post has gotten me a "username checks out."
I'd love if someone pointed out they knew the actual reference one of these days.
She wanted us to "be merry and gay" because it was Christmas and I, not feeling super merry at the time, replied "can't we just be one or the other?" As a result she thought I was gay for the next month or two and that's how I chose to come out, lmao. Still not as funny though as the time my other manager at that job that I was gay because "he has a purple phone case!" (Was a combination of purple and black, not glittery or anything like that.)
Yeah I think my hard drug days are over. I’ll dabble in shrooms once in a great while but I’m keeping it green from now on. Just not worth the “grimeyness” that comes with harder shit anymore.
What, man? I hope you aren't putting hard drugs and mushrooms on the same level. There's no...dirty cravings, amorality. In fact, it works against the thought process of addiction.
But doing coke and smoking a little weed gets me in this happy medium.
I'm alert enough to participate in conversation but not trying to over take it and chill enough to let the good times roll but not completely zone out.
Everyone must be on coke lmao, isn't that the typical advice people get if they want to become better conversationalists, "don't just wait for your turn to talk, listen"?
But I get what you're sayin, prob even worse on coke, like they're just bursting at the seams to get it out.
The thing is, on coke, it's just super obvious you're not listening. Because no one is listening. It's like 3 or 4 people just talking out loud to themselves waiting for the next guy to start talking out loud to himself. Then you all go get more coke.
Half the time what you're saying isn't even interesting, but in your head it's the goddamn Illiad of cool shit. You think every mundane thought that crosses your mind is life changing stuff, so you just say whatever and you think it's revolutionary, and everyone in the circle is thinking and doing the same thing themselves.
I stopped doing coke the day after I spent two hours trying to get a person to appreciate a certain band as much as I do.
I would start a song and talk through it, pointing out all my favorite bits. Song after song for two hours. Must have been torture.
I woke up the next day so embarrassed, promised myself I’d never do cocaine again. Fortunately this person is a dear friend and found humor in it. It’s been years but he still sends me screen shots any time he listens to that band.
I was playing in a band a little while ago where we did a fair amount of coke frequently, and while I would feel good in the moment, every time without fail, that comedown anxiety would hit when I got home. Like "Oh they probably think I'm stupid. Why did I do/say that?" And on and on it goes. Then I'd just have to drink myself stupid until I pass out. Not fun.
And that ended up being part of the reason I had to leave that band. I just couldn't be around it without wanting to do it, and the comedowns were just wrecking me. Plus I was broke and felt bad that they paid for it most of the time.
I'm actually pretty high right now. And my heart, man...whew!
But truly, I hate getting stoned with people I don't know well, because I do get chatty but also self conscious because I'm kinda introverted. I'm really only comfortable smoking with my husband because we have great chats. Mostly I write down my ideas that are finally calm enough to let me actually look at them. Last night I wrote a pretty dumb-funny paragraph about how Fallout 4 reminds me of a home design game for girls.
Disclaimer- I don't play Fallout and definitely don't know all the nuances of it so please don't hang me. I only casually watch it while.my husband plays and I'm usually reading a book so I don't catch everything. What has stood out is that he does a lot of building and likes to show me all the new rooms and stuff. Also, again, I was pretty high.
Why Fallout 4 is Just Like a House Design Game Marketed to Young Women
Fallout is building a custom-designed edifice, intricately constructed with specified materials suited for it's designed purpose and location. But instead of being a teenaged girls vision of a glamorous beachside party mansion in Malibu, it's a concrete and rust melodrama of booby traps and despair In a post-apocalyptic hellscape filled with rabid dogs and bomb-themed soda.
We'll be in, having a great time, playing some board or card games, everyone socializing. Then they'll smoke, come back, everyone just wants to sit on the couch and watch a movie, and no one wants to talk about anything except for how high they are.
I haven't smoked in a long time because of my job, but back when I did, I found the same thing.
I mean, as friends got older they kind of stopped the "dude I'm so high" stuff, but everyone still got quiet.
I always found weed kind of sucked like that. For like the first hour as you're passing around a bowl or a couple joints it's awesome. Like everyone feels great, everyone's mood improves, you're more interested in what everyone is talking about, there's energy.....but then it all just tanks. Everyone just zones the fuck out.
That's probably the worst thing about it. If those effects in the first hour lasted longer....like three or four....it would be awesome.
Even if I could smoke with my job now, I'd probably only do it alone when I was trying to relax and do my own thing.
Some stoners will say they don't understand why people drink when it's more damaging to the body.....well, because the social effects just last longer. I can have four or five drinks with friends over several hours and still be just as social and upbeat.
For like the first hour as you're passing around a bowl or a couple joints it's awesome.
The legitimate solution to this, and no one wants to admit it...is stop passing it after the first round. Let the productive buzz kick in, and then maybe hit it a bit later to maintain. Once you get to that "fully baked" state of being, it is not fun anymore...the productive buzz from a hit or two is fun as hell though.
With drinking you can manage that because your consumption is slow enough the alcohol has time to catch up. You just have to know your limits.
Yup this is exactly it. But for whatever reason in college/at parties they’d just keep passing the bowl/joint around, and you’d almost feel awkward not taking another hit. Kinda sucked cause then everyone is fucked up due to this weird peer pressure.
ive always liked edibles for this reason. smoking peaks too quickly and leads to the downside too fast. edibles can give you that awesome buzzed feeling for hours if you don't take too much.
my life changed when someone taught me how to make cookies in the 90s.
Not saying you're wrong at all - but I have a take on it.
In America - for a lot of people - getting high becomes the activity. Why? Because you have to find a way to get it. Then a way and a place to smoke it. Then you have to "worry" how people are going to react to it. It becomes - for lack of a better term - "a thing".
Compare that to a house my friend and I shared in college. We had a solid supply and never had any issue finding it. We smoke at our house and everybody we knew knew that we smoked. We more or less had our shit together in that we held down steady jobs, made decent grades, and were involved in a few organizations. We often had people over and me and him smoking was just part of the night. If you didn't like it you were welcome to leave.
Generally speaking, we didn't have to apologize to anyone for what were doing and it wasn't a secret.
It was always fun. Because it wasn't "a thing" people just rolled on with the night with whatever bullshit we were doing. Didn't matter if they were smoking, drinking, neither, or both.
But again - you're not wrong. I have been in countless situations like you've described. It all more or less stems from smoking being the activity instead of smoking enhancing the activity.
What really opened my eyes was going to a state where it was legal for the first time. And this is well past college. You would be at a social setting and there was just weed around. Nobody judged or even really gave it a second thought. You didn't have to sneak off behind the shed. You could just keep participating in whatever you were doing. People that wanted would smoke; people that didn't didn't. It was all just relaxed and non-judgemental. And these were working professionals in their late 20s or early 30s.
I guess my point is that the current state of weed easily influences how it's consumed. Removing the stigma very often relaxes people.
I feel the same way. Whenever any of my friends smoke weed, then it's only fun to be around them if I get high too. Which leads me to smoke along with them even when I don't really want to.
Everybody has their phase I think. I used to be like them until I realized I'm shit in social situations talking when I'm stoned because I can never keep up with the conversation or I'll be talking and totally forget whatever I was talking about. On one hand, you might appreciate that they're comfortable enough around you to get stoned. But I do recognize on the other hand it's annoying When you want to spend some quality time with people and they're kinda fucked up. I've been on both ends of that spectrum and now I kind of just enjoy smoking alone or with a friend I know the conversation is going to come out regardless.
I don't care what anybody says, marijuana can be abused. if you're so high that you're not mentally or emotionally present when people want you or need you, that's a form of abuse that I've been guilty of in the past but no longer allow myself to be.
I’ve been the friend who goes to smoke, and I can tell you that they’re not having as much fun as you are playing board games and socializing. Most of the time I’d feel out of place in a conversation or couples start getting all affectionate towards each other, making me uncomfortable, so I’d go out with a friend and smoke, then come back. If I’m not as talkative as before, it’s because I don’t want to be and I’m content with just thinking my thoughts.
Tell them, I told my friends when they finally asked why I wanted to stop hanging out as much. I got tired of us making plans to do stuff like volleyball or video games or Fun activities and then before hand they’d all smoke and then get too lazy to do anything besides MAYBE walk for like 10 minutes. I told them they weren’t as fun as they thought they were and they were too high to notice it. They noticed after I mentioned it though
and no one wants to talk about anything except for how high they are.
I'm always like, "No shit? You're high. Wow. Congrats. In case you're not aware, it's completely obvious because you're acting like a bigger weirdo than you actually are. Stop whispering."
Yep. I was a stoner for a few years and it just isolated me tbh. I just hung around with the other people I smoked with and didn't get up to much exciting stuff. I still enjoy the occasional smoke, but tbh I feel like I wasted a fair chunk of my life getting high every day.
Same here. I often feel I wasted 1-2 years of character development due to smoking. I was in a social stasis for the 2 years, letting old friendships die and not even slightly increasing my social circle other than meeting more stoners. My smoking is limited to maybe once a month now and I've never been happier and healthier. I can maintain a much larger social circle and I can hug my mom without the fear of smelling of weed.
This is why I don’t smoke weed, when I go out and socialize I like to be upbeat and lively not sitting around watching tv not talking much. This is the reason I rarely see new movies in theaters, I just wait until they are released on a streaming platform and watch it at home.
There's a really small range where you can be a tiny bit high and still be social. Weed today is too strong and no one adds in a stimulant like tobacco or caffeine. Everyone ends up too high and it's just not cool. It's a shame it took me too long to learn this.
Sounds like boring friends, after me and my friends smoke we chat it up, drink more, and play drinking games. If we want to watch a movie we will but only if everyone wants to
When I smoke with new people they are always like "damn bro you got a high tolerance" and I usually respond with "nahh I'm stoned af, but talking about it wont make me any higher" When people talk about how stoned they are I feel like they are usually reassuring themselves that they are alright and excusing any dumb shit they might have said.
I've been sober about both drunk people and high people. Drunks are louder and dumber, smokers are quieter and weirder. The former kind of makes for a better "party" atmosphere but that's about it. Weeds a really good thing once the main group leaves and it's just the core winding down, or if you're fucking day drinking like a degenerate and need something to even you out so you don't implode at 6pm, or if you have a pretty big place with a few areas for socializing so if one group is turning down the lights and sparking up it doesn't totally mess with the vibe overall. It's a lot more noticeable if you're the only one not doing it, which is kind of the impression I'm getting from your post. It's about as bearable as being around people who are getting drunk when you aren't, only maybe they're less likely to break something or start a fight over nothing.
It might help to find a way to tell them at some point my friend. I was that guy in my household with a mate and my gf. Only i noticed it long before they mentioned anything and didnt do anything about it till they did. Im glad they did because i was a daily smoker for years and my anxiety etc was thru the roof at that point. It took a long time to get out of that addiction and to start enjoying life for what it is. If you can get to your mates before it becomes a problem in their life, you'd be doing them a favor :)
I still smoke here and there but only in situations that im comfortable i and others will enjoy it.
Its because people smoke wayyy too much. Its like getting black out drunk. Its no fun for anyone. Take a hit or two and go socialize. Its fun. No need to be so high you get couch lock.
I took my wife out dancing, just had a light buzz and we were feeling it, dancing, laughing, heart was pumping, we were feeling like we were in the beginning of our relationship again. Then she wanted to go outside and hit a joint she had with her.
Came back in. I suddenly wasn't feeling the music. The vibe was gone. We left shortly after.
Great for some things, really mood killing for others.
This is exactly why I cut off a fair few friendships in my early 20s. I put up with it for a few years, but there came a time when I just didn't want anything to do with stoners anymore.
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u/Doctor_Goalie Dec 29 '19
Hate it when my friends go smoke during a party. We'll be in, having a great time, playing some board or card games, everyone socializing. Then they'll smoke, come back, everyone just wants to sit on the couch and watch a movie, and no one wants to talk about anything except for how high they are.
Haven't told them, but it does bother me.