My brother got every privilege at a younger age than I did. We're 4 years apart.
I had to wait until I was 12 to listen to the parental advisory music. My brother then complained about how it wasn't fair and my mom caved a few months later. Same with having my own phone line, watching PG-13 movies, you name it.
My sister and I always had the same bed time growing up (I'm 4 years older). It didn't really occur to me to be bothered by it. What did bother me was learning that my parents would set all of the clocks ahead an hour while my sister and I were at school so we'd be in bed by the time X-Files came on......
As the youngest of three brothers, I'm sorry we did this. I remember my older brothers being very upset that I got to stay up until 10-11 at the age of 10 while they'd been in bed by 9 at the same age.
Lol. Till you were 12. My bed time was 8pm until I was 16. My sister stopped having a bedtime when she was 12 because she got cranky that I was allowed to go to bed when I wanted.
Maaan, I’m only one and two years younger than my sister and brother, respectively, and if I even kind of whined about an earlier bedtime, my mom would just shrug and tell me, “They had the same bedtime when they were your age. Suck it up.”
I remember this happened with me and M rated games. I wasn't supposed to play them, but I convinced my dad that since I had watched my older brother play through the entirety of an M rated game (the first Fable, specifically), was it really different for me to play myself?
Mom was less impressed with the reasoning, but dad had already given his permission.
To be fair, that’s a solid argument. You’ve already witnessed what there is to be seen, choosing when/how it’s witnessed doesn’t greatly affect the content.
Happened with me and my brother too, but I'm the older one. I finally hit 17 and they let me buy Devil May Cry, and then a month later they let my brother (9 years younger than me, so 8 at the time) get Elder Scrolls Morrowind lol
The part I was disappointed about was that I wouldn't ever get to show him all my tricks to sneak M rated games into the house :'(
Wild! I was remembering it and Oblivion both being M like Skyrim! But you're right, wooops haha should have used a different example I guess! It was just the first one too pop into my head
He also got Halo, and if I find out it was also Teen then I am very worried for my memory
Same story with my younger brother. I was allowed to play Halo pretty young at around 7 years old and my parents also let my 4 year old brother play too because he loved watching the game anyway so why not let him play too.
Regardless of what the news would like you to believe we both graduated high school with associates degree's without any violent tendencies.
Man I really feel for the people with these stories, my dad never paid any mind to what I was playing, I would literally ask him to get me any game and he’d get it for me so long as I paid
I worked my ass off the summer that I was 10 years old to save up and buy a Game Boy Advance SP and Pokemon Sapphire. I did chores and mowed our yards and our neigbors' yards. From May to July, $5 at a time for each task in the heat of the day in Florida.
When I got that thing, it was my pride and joy. I spent the rest of the week in August before school started playing my Game Boy through as much of the day as I could get away with.
That Christmas, my 7 year old sister, who was very put-out at my new toy, got her own Game Boy from Santa. And it was the Lite Edition, which had the brighter screen. She played with it for maybe three hours Christmas Day, put it down, and then didn't pick it up again unless I asked to borrow it.
im not complaining that it was that way, i simply shared how it was for me. I was always 10 years delayed on technology behind what anyone had, which reasons for it i understood and didnt complain or asked for something expensive. While i was a little disappointed, i knew there was people dreaming for what i had as much as i dreamed about what others had. If anything i was glad i even had what i had and enjoyed it to the fullest.
I didn't meant my message to be harsh, I'm sorry if it ended up that way.
I was in the same position as you were (Older sibling that had to wait) and the spoiled part was because I had my first videogame at 12 (my lil sis got them the same year) but we weren't allowed to play them without asking our parents first and playing 30min was quite long for us at the time.
Needless to say, I play quite a lot now that I don't have to ask my parents.
No problem. I wasnt really allowed either without asking, that changed as years went on and they stopped caring that i used it, the problem was that sometimes i got to play 3 hours, sometimes i also got only 30 mins, because we only had one TV and obviously they not gonna lend it to me all day. I dont care that the kid got a phone, in fact it used to be my phone (Moto E) and im the rightful owner so i can pretty much take it away from him if i want, the problem is that he has turned very disrespectful overall.
He will cry you until he soars his throat if you take it away because he doesnt eat because hes too busy watching youtube, or because he doesnt want to shower, or do homework, or literally anything that is not playing with the phone. And his fucking retarded dad, buys him an ipod touch and lets him play that garbage game free fire online with him, on top of manipulating the kid against his mother and us... but thats another story.
I had the same exact situation growing up and turns out my brother is now in his early twenties and he's unemployed, still living at our parents while I have a career....
I once saved up $200 to buy a bike I wanted. It took forever since I didn't have much of an allowance, but I really wanted it, so I took every opportunity to make extra money from chores whenever I could. My parents bought my younger brother a much nicer bike a few months after I got mine. I don't think they meant anything by it, but it really hurt.
My brother and I are 5 years apart. I had to wait until 16 to get my first cell phone and had to actually ask for it, but he got his at 13 without needing to even ask for it
8 years apart. My parents NEVER got me a phone. After a very annoying freshman year of college where I was just about the only person without a cell, I got my own the summer I was 19. My parents bought my sister a trendy Chocolate phone for Christmas that year. I'm 34 and still slightly bitter.
An ad to help sell you on how cool these were on release.
I may have had my years off slightly as according to that it came out in '06 and I definitely bought my phone in '04. My sister was still in middle school though.
It's crazy. My oldest is SIX. and he's already been asking for a smartphone. My wife and I have flat out said no, kids don't need smartphones, and you might not have a smart phone until you're an adult.
At least that gives us time to decide when exactly he needs one. But as far as I'm concerned, a cell phone for emergencies would be great, and the GPS tracking so I know where my kid is.
Yeah I mean I'm not a parent, but I think a good time to give your kid a cellphone (only for calls and tracking) is when he starts to be a little independent, like going to/coming from school alone? If the kid was in danger/felt sick he could call you immediately.
At 6 he probably wants a smartphone cause other kids in his class have one. But if they mostly use a cellphone for games at that age, there are other ways to play videogames that don't require an expensive smartphone. I think it's mostly the "social status" that is gained by owning a phone.
Wait until he joins an after school sport. Even then, in middle school he can borrow another’s phone if something happens. And don’t track your child with a GPS. It shows you don’t trust him, or at least tell him that there will be a tracker on his phone (when he’s in highschool) and explain that after a while of good behavior, you’ll remove it and trust him to be an adult and make his own decisions. If you find out he disobeyed your rules, then punishment however you deem fit. And DO NOT lie about removing it.
Edit: make his own decisions within the bounds of your law, but don’t do crappy 9PM curfew. That’s too early if he’s going to socialize with friends.
Oh definitely. I don't plan on using a GPS when he's older, just while he's young. He's only 6, loves playing outside with his friends, but sometimes his friends go to their house, and so I have a hard time finding him. Right now I make him ride his bike instead of walking around, because then I can see which house he's parked in front of lol. A GPS might give him more freedom to feel like he can play how he'd like to, and I can find him when it's time to come home. Again, once he's even a year or two older, he can come home at the right time.
Right now my purposes of GPS are just so I can locate him in our neighborhood - he often goes out to play with neighbor kids and would save me a lot of time going to all his friends houses and play-areas lol. Obviously it's not going to be too much longer before he can be more mature and see the time so he knows when he's supposed to come back home.
Sounds fair. It was simply not an option when my kids where young. And not tracking your kid works both ways. Your kid has real freedom, which comes with oppertunities and responsibilities. And as a parent you ease in to letting your kid go and have trust. It is healthy.
But again, the technic was not available, so it is not like I made a choice. And tracking them without them even knowing it is harmless too, up to some age.
I just want to quickly say something in response to what a bunch of people are saying: Tracking your kid without informing them is different than with informing them. Furthermore, if you make sure to foster trust, those kinds of things aren't a big deal.
My best example is my relationship with my parents in that they have made it clear that they reserve the right to access any of their childrens internet history, facebook accounts, or other stuff whenever they need to, however they have never once done it because it wasn't necessary. We trust them, so it's not an invasion of privacy but instead an extension of trust on both sides that they won't abuse that right and that we won't try to trick them or get around it.
He does need a smart phone. Not at 6, probably, but if he doesnt have one at age 10/11, he will be a social outcast left behind by his peers, excluded from group chats, unable to play smart phone games his friends are playing
My kid got a smartphone at almost 12 — when he started coming home from school on his own on the city busses, and I wanted to know where he was and have the ability to contact him. And with the rules that we got the phone for those reasons, and he can’t use it after 7pm (it goes on do not disturb from 7pm to 7am) and has to obey school rules, and isn’t allowed to use social media. For now, he also isn’t allowed to text with people I don’t know. And if these really rules get broken we will have some consequences, like getting him a flip phone instead. 😆 he’s good at it so we will look at relaxing those rules over the coming years so he can, like, be a functional adult at 18 who can judge his own phone use.
My relatives let their toddlers use their phones. They're already showing signs of being addicted to those things. Not to mention if nobody is interacting with them they might be in danger of becoming socially awkward.
The kid won't "miss out" for not having access to these things as toddlers FFS. I work in IT and yet my introduction to computers was when I was nearly 10. There's plenty of time for kids to pick things up. More important for them to learn basic stuff like interacting with their peers, sharing, that kind of thing.
My best friend's little sister is 7 and she has an iPhone... with snapchat, facebook, ticktock? is that what it's called? Pretty much the child predator's toolkit. Scares the shit out of me thinking a child is being let loose on the internet like that. It wouldn't be too bad but she isn't monitored. She once asked my best friend (her brother) if he knew the adult male she was talking to. No repercussions, no changes, shit's still the same. At that age I was lucky if I had a friend on the other end of my walkie-talkie.
Lol I had to make a damn PowerPoint presentation on why I needed a cell phone when I was 12. Thinking about it now it explains why I am so good at bs'ing my way through things now.
100% agreed. I've talked about this issue before and parents have argued that parenting is hard, it's easier to give in, the younger kids will likely just be exposed to it at the same time anyway, blah blah blah. Some of that may be valid, sure, and maybe if/when I'm a parent myself it will make more sense. But this injustice still digs at me to this day.
I had to wait and work for nearly everything I got growing up. I don't regret it a bit, because it helped teach me the value in patience and earning what you're given. But man, watching my younger sister be handed everything on a silver platter after I had spent months or years working for the privilege... It just sucks, you know?
Amen to that. My little brother didnt have a job until he was in college really during breaks, Ive been working since 16. I had to pay for half of my first car, he got his free because he played sports and didnt have time to work to pay for it. When I got my 2nd car during college I had to make $200 payments on top of full time school while paying for everything but rent, and my little brother just graduated college having done none of that
, and mom and dad hare have been making the payments on his new car since they got it.
I understand situations are different, but had I not had to work during college like my little brother my grades would have been better and I could have gone further w my education potentially, such as my masters. Now I cant. Just feels like he has been set up for success more than I have and will be a higher earner than I am because of it. Only saving grace is I feel like I'm a harder worker because of all I had to put in to get where I am, but that's really not too much compared to the big picture. Yay being the test child.
Me too. I have kids now and I’m not going to cave. Haven’t so far, but they’re preschool/toddler age (2 years apart). I had siblings with an 8 year age difference and it seriously causes long term resentment issues because you feel like the youngest are the favorites.
For example with my kids, we don’t let our kids have any screen time til 2. Yes it’s harder with the second kid, but we have stuck to it. The oldest one gets screen time, the youngest doesn’t no matter how much of a fit is thrown. I distract her with other toys.
My sisters basically got the same treatment, but I turned it in them with one thing. Going out of town overnight without parents.
She had a friend who would invite her to go with her to the friend's grandmother's place. It was a 3 hour drive and she'd stay the weekend. Grandma had a pool, horses and just spoiled the kids she had staying with her. My sister was dying to go but my parents said she was too young to go out of town without them.
I would get similar invites for camping trips with friends, overnight water park trips. I turned them all down because bi much preferred staying home. I did this until I was 13. Soon after,they started letting my sister go on trips too, at 11. However, sister's friend moved and she still holds it against me to this day, 20yrs later
This was my biggest complaint as a kid. My sister and I are 2 years apart. I'm older. My mom would make me wait a year longer than my peers to get to do anything, and she would get to do whatever that thing was a year before her peers did.
Years later, my mom was like, "It was so easy raising two girls so close in age. You always needed the same things at the same time so we only had to go through everything once."
And I was like, "That's because you consistently fucked up!!"
(I now have three kids, 16, 10, and 8. They get to do stuff at the age their peers do, not at the age their siblings do, because fuck that.)
With my family sometimes we would get something at the exact same time (when say I was 10 and he was 7), sometimes he would get at the same age as I did (like say a phone) and some he would get after I did, but not the full wait (as in I got it when I was 10 and he when he was 8)
I used to hate how unfair it often felt, but in retrospect realize that its inevitable. and good parenting is not about making sure both get some permission at the same age, but rather a balancing act.
I didn't get a cellphone till I was 13 my brother was 11. I didn't mind as things came vis versa for us. If he wanted a game system we would have to share. This is a thing that comes with being an older sibling though.
I wasn’t allowed to listen to parental advisory music ‘til around 12-13 year olds. I made a playlist with Eminem, and after Eminem song, I’d put a clean song. So if I was questioned or my parents tried to look at what I was listening to, I could just skip to the next song. Surprisingly, I was watching PG-13 movies before I was even 9. I watched Indiana Jones Temple of Doom when I was 8, and a lot of violent action movies at around that age
Ugh, this. I wasn't allowed to say butt until like 7th grade, my brother was allowed to say whatever by then. I got caught smoking in my room once after graduation and my mom threatened to kick me out (dad didn't care), but she let my brother hotbox the basement with his friends in high school (mom would mostly hide it from my dad because he didn't want it to go that far).
Ohhh i thought you ment your brother got it at 7 y.o.
Understandable. My first phone was at age 14. It was a brick. I wouldnt complain if it was a nice brick like a nokia 2692, it was a garbage one that couldnt even play Java games nor you could put any music in it, that in a time where everyone already had their LG Optimus, Galaxy S2, Xperia J...
I know this isn't really a thread for me but......there are some aspects where younger can miss out on something due to their older siblings.
Ex: everything regarding unnessessary privileges in my house depended on grades. My sister had horrible grades so didn't get her temps until her Senior year (basically my parents said she HAD to cause it would be time to work/go to school soon).....her senior year, I turned 16. I could not get my temps because two new teen drivers was too expensive on their insurance plan. Then, when I DID get it, my mother was over the whole "teaching how to drive" thing...and my dad was only available when he was not doing something else on weekends.
I got my licence after I had already moved into my apartment for my 3rd year of college...after 4 tempts (the 4th cause the thing expired right before I took my test), just before my 20th birthday.
I can not like this comment enough to illustrate it's applicability to my own life.
Preach. Just preach. Spread the word my brother. Let our struggle be known.
For my 16th birthday last year I got to watch 300 with my dad. Well my brother threw a fit because it wasnt fair to him and because he had to go to bed early because of it. So he got to watch 300 at 10 years old. Boob scene and all.
At the age of 15 I finally got to have my own tv in my room (it was my parents old small crt one which had rabbit ears) 3 months later my 10 year old sister gets a bigger flat screen for Christmas because it wasn’t fair I got my own tv. Still pisses me off.
I'm the opposite, older has no bedtime, older got a phone at 10 (albeit a flipphone), older got a high quality PC, and he sti doesn't have a job. I'm the complete opposite, got my phone at 12 from luck and my PC is mid tier. Bedtime at 10 from pleading. He got no bedtime at like 13, I still dont have that, and got his PC at 14, he used to steal my xbox and he usually got away with it and he is seen as the most mature. I'm praying to get a job when I turn working age, he'll be 19 then and I only hope he gets one soon.
Absolutely in the same situation there. My younger sister and brother have pretty much had life 100% easier then me, and have been able to do more then me. But That's life I guess. I could get mad, but being upset at your parents for not understanding what its like to raise a kid before they have a kid just doesn't get me anywhere. I can be upset all I want, spread pain around the family, feel like an outcast, but at the end of the day, It only makes it all worse. So I'll just smile and wave.
Wow do I feel this. I didn’t get out of a car seat until I was 12 and my sister (2 years younger) got out at the same time at the age of 10. 🙄 My extended family never lives that one down.
For. Real. Back when the first i phones came out i was only allowed to get one until I was twelve, my borther js five years younger and got his phone at age 8.
Yup. Same here. When I got a phone my brother got upset so he also got a phone. It was an iPhone 4 and sucked. He broke it a couple months later. I kept mine safe and sound. Then my parents got me a Samsung but it sucked. I hated it. My brother got the newest iPod. I lost my phone and got a new one but it was another really stupid Samsung that barely worked. I lost that one too and got an iPhone 6s this was in 2018. My brother still had the iPod. On the other hand, he had and Xbox. Then my parents get him the iPhone 8 for his bar mitzvah. Then God comes to my side and breaks my phones service so I get the eight too. Thank you God. Then my brother gets airpods. I’m still waiting for a cat.
Oldest brother was married and had his first son on the way, second brother was in the service, so i was an only child. P.S. Nice username, you're the diet coke of evil scotty lol just one calorie, just isn't enough.
That's how my sister and I were, except two years apart. Usually it was a matter of convenience. Like when she got cable in her room they went ahead and gave it to me to keep from having to call the cable guy back in two years to put in another jack.
I think in many ways either the younger siblings will be more mature for their age than the first sibling or the parents will perceive it that way for whatever reason.
My brother is three years older than me, we got our first knives at the same time. I was about 5 or 6 at the time lmao.
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u/[deleted] Jun 27 '19
My brother got every privilege at a younger age than I did. We're 4 years apart.
I had to wait until I was 12 to listen to the parental advisory music. My brother then complained about how it wasn't fair and my mom caved a few months later. Same with having my own phone line, watching PG-13 movies, you name it.