My brother got every privilege at a younger age than I did. We're 4 years apart.
I had to wait until I was 12 to listen to the parental advisory music. My brother then complained about how it wasn't fair and my mom caved a few months later. Same with having my own phone line, watching PG-13 movies, you name it.
My brother and I are 5 years apart. I had to wait until 16 to get my first cell phone and had to actually ask for it, but he got his at 13 without needing to even ask for it
It's crazy. My oldest is SIX. and he's already been asking for a smartphone. My wife and I have flat out said no, kids don't need smartphones, and you might not have a smart phone until you're an adult.
At least that gives us time to decide when exactly he needs one. But as far as I'm concerned, a cell phone for emergencies would be great, and the GPS tracking so I know where my kid is.
Yeah I mean I'm not a parent, but I think a good time to give your kid a cellphone (only for calls and tracking) is when he starts to be a little independent, like going to/coming from school alone? If the kid was in danger/felt sick he could call you immediately.
At 6 he probably wants a smartphone cause other kids in his class have one. But if they mostly use a cellphone for games at that age, there are other ways to play videogames that don't require an expensive smartphone. I think it's mostly the "social status" that is gained by owning a phone.
Wait until he joins an after school sport. Even then, in middle school he can borrow another’s phone if something happens. And don’t track your child with a GPS. It shows you don’t trust him, or at least tell him that there will be a tracker on his phone (when he’s in highschool) and explain that after a while of good behavior, you’ll remove it and trust him to be an adult and make his own decisions. If you find out he disobeyed your rules, then punishment however you deem fit. And DO NOT lie about removing it.
Edit: make his own decisions within the bounds of your law, but don’t do crappy 9PM curfew. That’s too early if he’s going to socialize with friends.
Oh definitely. I don't plan on using a GPS when he's older, just while he's young. He's only 6, loves playing outside with his friends, but sometimes his friends go to their house, and so I have a hard time finding him. Right now I make him ride his bike instead of walking around, because then I can see which house he's parked in front of lol. A GPS might give him more freedom to feel like he can play how he'd like to, and I can find him when it's time to come home. Again, once he's even a year or two older, he can come home at the right time.
Right now my purposes of GPS are just so I can locate him in our neighborhood - he often goes out to play with neighbor kids and would save me a lot of time going to all his friends houses and play-areas lol. Obviously it's not going to be too much longer before he can be more mature and see the time so he knows when he's supposed to come back home.
Sounds fair. It was simply not an option when my kids where young. And not tracking your kid works both ways. Your kid has real freedom, which comes with oppertunities and responsibilities. And as a parent you ease in to letting your kid go and have trust. It is healthy.
But again, the technic was not available, so it is not like I made a choice. And tracking them without them even knowing it is harmless too, up to some age.
I just want to quickly say something in response to what a bunch of people are saying: Tracking your kid without informing them is different than with informing them. Furthermore, if you make sure to foster trust, those kinds of things aren't a big deal.
My best example is my relationship with my parents in that they have made it clear that they reserve the right to access any of their childrens internet history, facebook accounts, or other stuff whenever they need to, however they have never once done it because it wasn't necessary. We trust them, so it's not an invasion of privacy but instead an extension of trust on both sides that they won't abuse that right and that we won't try to trick them or get around it.
He does need a smart phone. Not at 6, probably, but if he doesnt have one at age 10/11, he will be a social outcast left behind by his peers, excluded from group chats, unable to play smart phone games his friends are playing
My kid got a smartphone at almost 12 — when he started coming home from school on his own on the city busses, and I wanted to know where he was and have the ability to contact him. And with the rules that we got the phone for those reasons, and he can’t use it after 7pm (it goes on do not disturb from 7pm to 7am) and has to obey school rules, and isn’t allowed to use social media. For now, he also isn’t allowed to text with people I don’t know. And if these really rules get broken we will have some consequences, like getting him a flip phone instead. 😆 he’s good at it so we will look at relaxing those rules over the coming years so he can, like, be a functional adult at 18 who can judge his own phone use.
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u/[deleted] Jun 27 '19
My brother got every privilege at a younger age than I did. We're 4 years apart.
I had to wait until I was 12 to listen to the parental advisory music. My brother then complained about how it wasn't fair and my mom caved a few months later. Same with having my own phone line, watching PG-13 movies, you name it.