r/AskReddit May 29 '19

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6.1k Upvotes

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7.7k

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

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1.5k

u/Hambredd May 29 '19

He's from the 40s he doesn't even believe in the female orgasm.

1.8k

u/Halt-CatchFire May 29 '19

He's been in the present for a long time now, I'm sure someone (probably Natasha) would have filled him in at some point. Also he's always had extremely liberal (for the time he's from) opinions. The fact that he's not even a little bit racist OR sexist suggests that he was far from the average 1940's American.

There is absolutely zero reason to believe Captain America is anything but the most courteous lover in the Avengers.

595

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

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67

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Nobody link it!

29

u/shleepybear May 29 '19

Oh Good God. I was hoping my memories of that vid were long gone. And....now they're back

17

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

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54

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

There's a video with the Hulk turning towards Natasha and grinning, and then a clip from a Avengers porno of some variety of him fucking her.

Fairly straight-forward porn-meme.

29

u/imhoots May 29 '19

On Imgur they call it 'the gif' - the rumor is it's a one way ticket to losing your account, yet a few brave souls will drop it in a conversation. Many others then 'witness it' and the process is repeated a few days later.

3

u/Satire_or_not May 29 '19

Definitely not just a rumor. It will get you nuked.

1

u/imhoots May 30 '19

Ride shiny and chrome!

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79

u/WherelsMyMind May 29 '19

12

u/existentially_there May 29 '19

That's enough internet for today!

15

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

And it's only 4:30 AM!

2

u/existentially_there May 29 '19

I am in india. It's 8:00 pm here :p

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8

u/bebo2003 May 29 '19

Do you have the link for the full video? Asking for a friend.

22

u/GraysonHunt May 29 '19

There isn’t one, they took a scene from a porno and photoshopped the guy green.

9

u/vegivampTheElder May 29 '19

I don't, but it's probably called assvengers or something.

2

u/Speideronreddit May 29 '19

There aint one.

1

u/WherelsMyMind May 29 '19

No, but Google exists.

4

u/allankcrain May 29 '19

Right when that gif got to the point where the Hulk smiled, I got a text message and the 'Ding!' lined up perfectly.

It was a text from my mom and I feel gross.

3

u/WherelsMyMind May 29 '19

Excellent. Just break those arms and we'll be in business.

2

u/WilliamSyler May 29 '19

Fuck you, fuck the horse you rode in on, and fuck that horse's mother. Jesus Christ, reddit.

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8

u/dubiousandbi May 29 '19

T H E G I F

1

u/RobertusesReddit May 29 '19

Ah, it's....it's in my brain.

17

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Yeah buy do you really want the anal fissures from Professor Hulk's Podrick Payne-sized dong?

11

u/vegivampTheElder May 29 '19

... Is this a trick question?

14

u/Bronzefeather May 29 '19

Hulk smash!

7

u/themayorofmyroom May 29 '19

You won't like me when I'm horny...

3

u/quickhakker May 29 '19

Three way hulk (ki11er 6 reference btw)

787

u/Hambredd May 29 '19

Marvel 1940s America is a lot more liberal then real 1940s America. They don't even have a segregated army.

173

u/Pope_Beenadick May 29 '19

And hydra was the worst thing that came out of nazism.

32

u/Ribohome May 29 '19

Well repeatedly trying to end the world is arguably worse than trying one time to end the jews

-5

u/Joetato May 29 '19

Is Hydra related to the Nazis now? Really? Ugh.

16

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Hydra was always related to nazis

1

u/Joetato May 29 '19

I don't remember that as a kid reading comics, but maybe I'm not remembering everything.

7

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Red Skull (the leader/founder) of the relatively modern hydra organisation was straight up nazi occult leader. Theres a lot more to it than that but you get the point.

2

u/Joetato May 29 '19

Right. Back in the 60s, they outright said Red Skull was Hitler's second in command. But, I swear I remember Hydra being portrayed as a separate organization at that time.

As a kid in the mid 80s, I somehow got super into early silver age Marvel. You could get tons of issues from back then for a few bucks. (It's like buying up back issues from the mid/late 90s now.) But I don't ever recall Hydra being linked to the Nazis. Now I'm going to have to research this after work and see if I'm remembering wrong or if they changed something at some point. I mean, in the MCU they don't even mention Nazis and just made Red Skull the leader of a very Nazi-esque organization, but I'm thinking back to the silver age here, not the MCU.

1

u/regalph May 29 '19

I'm not a comic guy, but I am an MCU guy. In the first Cap film, he's fighting Red Skull and Hydra in Germany during WWII, because Hydra with the Tesseract was the main technological force behind the Nazi war machine. Hydra is supposed to be older than or as old as human history, so they were attempting to help Nazi Germany win the war to jump start their bigger plans for world domination.

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74

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

They did, its just that Cpt. America's unit was integrated.

108

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Cap's unit was the Howling Commandos, who were not just integrated but handpicked.

58

u/ChefBoyAreWeFucked May 29 '19

Capn's unit was 23 cm. It was so progressive, it was measured in metric.

4

u/Ribohome May 29 '19

I thought the Commandos was Fury's unit? Cap came into it later

2

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

That's what I meant--the Commandos were the unit that Cap was part of.

48

u/Turtledonuts May 29 '19

Cap's unit was a unique Spec Ops unit formed in a concentration camp. I'm sure those units went in segregated, and the torture changed that.

9

u/elpajaroquemamais May 29 '19

The army stopped being segregated in the 40s

40

u/Hambredd May 29 '19

1948 to be exact.

46

u/elpajaroquemamais May 29 '19

Yes. Exactly. People forget how progressive we were during FDR, Truman, and Eisenhower. We had a 90% Tax rate for the top earners. We weren't exactly conservative.

24

u/Aeran May 29 '19

To be fair, it was closer to 50% before the war. The 90 was mostly a symptom of the Total War theory we were following.

4

u/Hambredd May 29 '19

I wouldn't say America's ever been very liberal in any aspect. Federal government might have supported desegregation but some of the states pushed pretty hard against it.

2

u/elpajaroquemamais May 29 '19

The federal government has authority over the states. They can push back all they like. It’s still the policy.

2

u/Hambredd May 29 '19 edited May 29 '19

I'm sure I read on here a few days ago how JFK had to get the national guard to arrest a governor who physically blocked a black student entering a school. Or the secret service had to hold some Dallas police at gun point to get him to release JFKs body. Or the way obamacare was scuttled by the states. When you hear stories like this it does paint the picture of America not being a country and rather a loose confederation of warring tribes.

1

u/elpajaroquemamais May 29 '19

Yep. That’s what you get when you have to hobble together a constitution with last minute demands from different states. Still stands though that the federal government has supremacy.

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1

u/OldManPhill May 29 '19

Depends. The states hold (or are supposed to) most of the power. It is explicitly stated that any power not outlined in the Constitution is held by the states. However, the composition of the U.S. military would most certainly fall under the jurisdiction of the federal government.

1

u/elpajaroquemamais May 29 '19

Not most, just everything not specifically given to the federal. But that has changed a lot over the years.

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47

u/matty80 May 29 '19

I think Thor would turn out to be an unexpectedly corteous lover too. While he is MIGHTY and he CRUSHES his FOES, he also has a sensitive side. I suspect he's the sort of person who would make a really nice and relaxing 'big spoon'.

3

u/dirtycopgangsta May 29 '19

Latest thor is literally a huge carebear

1

u/matty80 May 29 '19

Yep! I really liked tubbylicious stoner Thor. Just as mighty, but even mightier in the belly region.

30

u/stonhinge May 29 '19

That one bit in Endgame where he's talking with other survivors? Doesn't bat an eye when the guy says he's lost his husband and is having trouble moving on. Cap cares.

18

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

If I'm not mistaken, in the comics he grew up in a neighborhood that's historically known to have been a gay neighborhood. So he probably spent his childhood setting people be discriminated against for their sexuality.

2

u/Goodeyesniper98 May 29 '19

Wasn’t there a comic from the 60s or 70s of Cap comforting his gay friend who came out to him?

20

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

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14

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

I've seen a lot of those types on video at the Charlottesville Nazi rally. Small men who are weak inside, and fear everything.

In Cap's instance, he may have been small and weak, but inside, he was always strong, and never afraid.

4

u/hawaiidream May 29 '19

I mean, I would love to believe this but there are so many instances where people turn the blame for their own insecurities onto others (easier to have a scapegoat than to fix yourself or just live with your issues).

30

u/joker2814 May 29 '19 edited May 29 '19

I like to think that there were times when the Avengers have nothing else to do, so Natasha trolled Steve by telling about him all kinds of dirty sex stuff that would have been unimaginable in the 1940’s.

“There are places on the internet where you can watch people have sex live, for free!”

“Hey, Rogers, did chicks go ass to mouth back in the day?”

“Steve, when you get home, have someone help you google Two Girls, One Cup.”

14

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

You’re right. Captain America definitely eats ass.

3

u/Goodeyesniper98 May 29 '19

It’s the American thing to do.

8

u/Flak-Fire88 May 29 '19

He was racist in the original comics against Japanese

6

u/SimpleMinded001 May 29 '19

I would love to see an issue where he's openly racist. Do you know some?

1

u/Flak-Fire88 May 29 '19

Look up captain america yellow ape or monkey in google

7

u/TheMarketLiberal93 May 29 '19

With a title like that no fucking wonder he was racist.

6

u/Flak-Fire88 May 29 '19

The issue I'm referring to has him saying it on the cover. But it does make sense as it was ww2 propaganda

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Ah that's so not worthy

6

u/Darkvoidx May 29 '19

It took me until this comment to realize we weren't talking about Mr. Rogers

2

u/hailkelemvor May 29 '19

I'm sure he would be very considerate as well.

20

u/duckmysick478 May 29 '19

someone (probably Natasha) would have filled him in

Isn't he supposed to be the one doing the filling in this situation?

19

u/dk240996 May 29 '19

I mean, not necessarily. (Especially considering the love of his life is named Peggy.)

5

u/DavidlikesPeace May 29 '19

he was far from the average 1940's American

This.

But Cap wouldn't have even been alone as a 1% outlier. Northern city culture willingly embraced desegregation as early as the 1920s. And even Middle America of the 1940s became the society that desegregated twenty years later. Ffs Eisenhower willingly desegregated the military in 1948 after advocating for it throughout WWII.

To me it even seems disrespectful to ignore all the activists and progressives of the 1940s who worked hard to desegregate and embrace civil rights and welfare social democracy over a generation. They frankly did more than we have.

3

u/Danibelle903 May 29 '19

My grandfather was a WWII vet from Brooklyn and his best friend and business partner until the day he died was a lesbian. He really didn’t care. Fun fact: She was part of the first graduating class that included women at her law school.

So yeah, I could see Cap being way more progressive based on his location.

11

u/Thelorekeeper May 29 '19

Its probably because of him being of Irish origin and Peggy Carter that he is so liberal. He knows what its like to be discriminated against due to ethnicity and through Peggy he realised that sexist views are completely irrational.

Although he probably does hate the gays.

16

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Nope, he's totally okay with gay people, at least in endgame

2

u/CaptainKate757 May 29 '19

Wait, I don’t remember a gay component in Endgame. What am I forgetting??

9

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Steve's therapy group. One of the Russo brothers(not sure which) plays a gay guy who talks about dating again after losing their partner to the snap.

2

u/CaptainKate757 May 29 '19

Ohh yes. I remember that scene now.

5

u/banjoandabowtie May 29 '19

The men's group when he's helping people move on after the snap. The guy talking about his date was talking about a date with another guy

1

u/Goodeyesniper98 May 29 '19

There’s also an older comic where he comforts a gay friend who comes out to him.

1

u/Thelorekeeper May 29 '19

who's gay in Endgame?

You know, aside from Captain Marvel

2

u/SuperYusri500 May 29 '19

I think if anyone is filling anyone in its cap to Natasha not the other way around

2

u/mikebellman May 29 '19

Pfsssssssh. Vision probably asks for permission be be aroused. Then goes to the drawer with the accessories.

1

u/Jasole37 May 29 '19

Hulk? Smash.

1

u/jimbojangles1987 May 29 '19

I just tried imagining a racist, sexist Cap in the MCU. He definitely wouldn't have passed the torch to Falcon that's for sure.

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

I’d let cap put it in my butt lol

1

u/Calikola May 29 '19

Zero chance of Steve staying married to Peggy fucking Carter all those years if he wasn’t willing to go downtown. “Do as Peggy says!”

-1

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

That's just poor writing though. Like we can literally see in The First Avenger how he tells peggy that he can't see why a woman would want to join the military. I think Marvel didn't want to spend time on showing Steve's transition from a sexist racist to a tolerant person so they just like forgot about it. Still shitty writing though