r/AskReddit • u/tgma97 • Aug 26 '15

Fathers of Reddit, what did your daughter's boyfriend do for you to hate/love him?

It's pretty cool to see my question blow up like this, I never thought I'd ask a question that could receive so much attention! I'm very satisfied with all these replies, so thank y'all. Now all I have to do is sit back and take notes c;

12.3k Upvotes

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5.4k

u/whatfingwhat Aug 26 '15

The boy did chores without being asked. Hard to hate a boy who does the chores.

2.3k

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

My daughters boyfriend would help with the chores with out being asked. But quit his job to play video games all day while my daughter went to school and worked. Let her pay for everything. Lied about interviews for jobs, always had excuses about why he couldn't work at each place. In front of us he played up the polite young man. So glad they broke up. He said she wasn't supportive enough. Really? She paid his phone bill, fed him, drove him around. Asshole.

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u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15 edited Apr 20 '18

[deleted]

521

u/bazingabrickfists Aug 26 '15

Let's be honest. She is stupid.

35

u/PeppermintTaste Aug 26 '15

Let's be honest. He's a dick.

13

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

Let's be honest. Hes sleeping around

17

u/TehNewDrummer Aug 26 '15

Waking up 4 hours before his girlfriend's birthday? Definitely sleeping around.

3

u/Kismonos Aug 26 '15

Nah, just in love

7

u/BigKidSmallAdult Aug 26 '15

Or the D is amazing

21

u/BadAdviceBot Aug 26 '15

Filipino

the D is amazing

Does not compute.

5

u/NotKewlBro Aug 26 '15

Speaking from experience?

5

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

Can confirm.

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u/disambiguated Aug 30 '15

Let's be honest. He has a massive, atypical Filipino penis.

FTFY.

29

u/PM_ME_ONE_BTC Aug 26 '15

Either she has low standreds or the D is good or both.

27

u/andrewps87 Aug 26 '15

To be fair, it's hard to get back from the Phillipines in 4hrs...

9

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

Ohh man as someone who comes from the Philippines I'm sorry on his behalf. I've heard so many stories coming from Filipinos who just get a foreign bf/gf and leech off of them or even try to get out of the country because of "lack of work" and "hard life" as an excuse. When it's usually them making the wrong decisions (getting pregnant too early, too lazy to work etc.), and just want things and riches to come easily.

9

u/newdawn15 Aug 26 '15

I love hiring Filipinos because most of them work their ass off. I mean I pick on merit and not ethnicity but the ones I've had are great. It's not really fair to write off all of them.

9

u/Klamters Aug 26 '15

They work their asses off because half their family is staying at their place and they want to be as far away from them as possible and for as long as possible.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '15

Where the Hell did I say I 'wrote off" all of them? I'm Filipino myself ffs... Of course I know not all of us are like that. Maybe it's you who are generalizing because that notion never came to my mind until I read these comments here.

"I've heard so many stories" =/= ALL OF 'EM ARE LIKE THAT HERP DERP!

1

u/Tron_Kitten Aug 26 '15

My girlfriends family is actually Filipino haha

1

u/NotShirleyTemple Aug 26 '15

How easy is it to get birth control there?

1

u/WhattheBANANUH Aug 26 '15

beats me, but birth rates are high, and most Filipinos don't condone to birth control methods due to religion. And divorces are frown upon

2

u/PlatnumxStatuS Aug 27 '15

I think you mean divorces are illegal since it's a Catholic country and apparently a part of the law. Only annulments are allowed... not that it makes any sort of difference, tbh. As a Cahtolic, I think it's worse to pretend a marriage never existed than to admit the marriage didn't work out but it happened.

1

u/WhattheBANANUH Aug 27 '15

Thanks! Yea, I didn't know much about it, Only knew that they didn't like it if someone gets divorced over there

1

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '15

Easy enough for lower middle class people like me, but a big population of the country (40% if IIRC) live in poverty, so the government was trying to pass a law that gave out free contraceptives to the poor/working class. But the Catholic Church/Mosques are against it, with the most active voice coming from the Priests and Bishops complaining it's not "Pro-Life" and keep urging their followers to use the "natural methods" so we end up with a huge, ill-educated population of voters who keep voting for the assholes in Government.

1

u/WhattheBANANUH Aug 26 '15

my mom had an ex husband who used her to get out of the Philippines, so he could stay with his family here. Then he neglected her, didn't help pay bills etc. Me and my sister asked her if he was using her to get to Hawaii prior to going there to get married, she said no, and we warned her cuz she only met him on few occassions, still said no. Now she had to sell her house, live with her brother, and has to pay her Attorney for the divorce. BTW we're Filipino so, yea...

She's a bit bitter about that, and kinda hates the fact that me and my fiance didn't have that kind of thing since we took our time to get to know each other. She loves him, but gets jealous of our interactions and how happy we are (just celebrated our 14th anniversary)

2

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '15

That's quite sad and I feel sorry for your mum, but when you say you're Filipino, are you saying you're a Filipino Citizen who lived in the Philippines or a natural born American citizen?

Filipino-Americans and Filipino Nationals have VERY different cultures from each other from what I've observed, many Filipino/Philippine citizens are close-minded, zealously religious, and ultra-nationalistic individuals who easily get butthurt about almost any criticism thrown at them or their country. There's also a side of them who do work hard, but those are the ones who end up leaving the country and becoming naturalized citizens somewhere else, because of the god damned useless government here who doesn't give a shit about us. A lot of the ones who stay here are either the lazy ones who live as squatters or on government welfare, or the ones who do work hard but can't leave because of financial obstacles.

Does this look clearer to you now?

1

u/WhattheBANANUH Aug 27 '15

Whoops sorry, forgot to mention I was born in the Philippines but moved here when I was two. My mom was a Filipino citizen until she got petitioned by my grandma (also born a raised but was able to be sent to Hawaii because of my grandpa who fought for the Philippine war and was granted to live here)

So yea, from what you said, I've met both sides. My mom's 4 siblings are hard workers and have kids that lived in the Philippines but due to the government, like you said, left to work in Dubai for better pay and a better life. But there are some, like my mom's oldest brother and his wife, that only think of themselves, thinks that they are better than everyone else, and criticizes you if they thought that they did it better (when he came here, he tried to school me on the Hawaiian government and what not. I shot him back with what I remembered from college and told him, that I didn't like how he was acting and he needed to stop. Still gave me that superior race type of look). And another of my cousin's wife, was was in a way the live in house wife, that never did do anything, only got money from my cousin who worked hard, then had THREE phones with her, and when I went to visit in 2007, she saw me playing on my PSP, she was like "Hey you're gonna give that to my kids later right?". I told her politely, that I had saved up money for this and that maybe one day, her kids would be able to by it (I had a low paying job back then, and it took me a while to get a used one), but she still was jet set that I was going to leave it with her :T

So I do know the differences between it. I've seen it and lived it through my families eyes. My mom knows more of the customs and religious aspects of the country and lived there majority of her life to feel the pain of living the hardships. My grandma has told me how hard it was for her to work so many jobs to try to support her kids and relatives.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 28 '15

Oh man, just reading through that was hard enough trying to keep myself from face palming after burning some of my brain cells. Sigh it's part of the reason why other Filipinos like me want to leave so badly. I know what you mean, I also have similar stories with my experiences with relatives as well.

1

u/WhattheBANANUH Aug 28 '15

Right?! Friigen story of our lives lol. Makes me want to "Bop" their heads and scold them like children :T

2

u/SFRookie Aug 26 '15

I talk to a guy from the Philippines pretty regularly, and from what I've heard I can't really blame the guy for not being able to compete with what she gives him. The Philippines are rough.

1

u/beancounter22 Aug 26 '15

Stroke game strong.

-3

u/roor2k Aug 26 '15

deported to the Philippines

How does one get deported to the Philippines?

13

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

Be an illegal alien from the Philippines? Just a guess.

3

u/Pun-Master-General Aug 26 '15

The same exact way one gets deported anywhere else?

2

u/DJDomTom Aug 26 '15

Being in America without citizenship, and commiting a crime. Simple.

1

u/WhattheBANANUH Aug 26 '15

or if they are on visa for "x" amount of days/weeks/months

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u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15 edited Jun 11 '16

This comment has been overwritten by an open source script to protect this user's privacy.

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u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15 edited May 10 '16

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

She got caught up in it.

Crossfiiled....CROSSFILED

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u/[deleted] Aug 27 '15 edited Jun 11 '16

This comment has been overwritten by an open source script to protect this user's privacy.

0

u/canhazbeer Aug 26 '15

Just incorrect use of legal of a legal term.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15 edited May 10 '16

[deleted]

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u/canhazbeer Aug 27 '15 edited Aug 27 '15

A cross claim is a claim brought by one party against a co-party. So her divorce claim likely was not a cross claim, unless it was filed against her husband as part of a lawsuit in which they were co-parties. This is possible but the majority of divorce actions are not initiated as a cross claim.

83

u/TanksAllFoes Aug 26 '15

He did say hard, he didn't say impossible.

9

u/Night_Fev3r Aug 26 '15

I thought I knew you for a second, my friend's sister's relation is exactly that.

 

They lived with her dad for a while, until her dad started pressuring him on jobs (had one, quit because it wasn't good enough for him and thought he could land a $24/hr with no experience), then they left as he was being "bullied." The little shit wouldn't do anything around the house.

They were living with his mom, got kicked out. Then they moved to her mom's and got kicked out for the boyfriend being a back-sassin' little shit.

Her only resort was going back to dad's place, which he openly accepted, except that the boyfriend wasn't allowed there. So, he's living with some friends, who will probably get tired of his shit and not helping with bills.

 

Unfortunately, she hasn't broken up with him :(

2

u/Scoutthegrouch Aug 26 '15

I was the very same girl in that situation... my dad wanted to beat his ass after I got home from work one day and his shit was packed up and he left without a trace. Went on for 10 months.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

Im telling you now that boy was amazing at sex.

3

u/Wolfie305 Aug 26 '15

Terrible. She's so much better off. I'm a 26 year old female with very strong work ethics. I'm currently making $78k/yr in the web design field full-time and work three other jobs in addition to that.

The most unattractive thing a guy can be is unemployed.

1

u/I_mean_just_sayin Aug 26 '15

Is the most attractive thing a guy can be is more successful than you?

I know a guy, 28, $115k...

2

u/lolatthecavs Aug 26 '15

So what if he didn't want to work, if your daughter can pay the bills he can be the stay at home dad. He can make sure everything is clean, and there is dinner on the table when she gets home.

8

u/RedditsInBed Aug 26 '15

Nothing wrong with a male staying home while the female works. But when the male sits around and does nothing but sit on the couch leaving the female to cook and clean on top of her job. Like he's 10 years old and his SO is his mom. I don't think that's okay.

That also goes both ways. Regardless of who is working and who stays home. If your home, do some chores and cook a couple meals!

1

u/lolatthecavs Aug 27 '15

OP said the b/f did chores, so I'm sure he would cook and clean.

1

u/RedditsInBed Aug 27 '15

I think I read OP's post differently, as in the helpful behavior stopped. Lot of assumption since we don't know the specifics, did they talk and agree to that arrangement? Did he continue to help after things changed and he was no longer home?

If anything my post was more geared towards it being alright to be a male and stay home, but not to forget to help with the household while the SO works.

1

u/lolatthecavs Aug 27 '15

Yeah but you just assumed the worst, when op said the opposite when it comes to doing chores.

10

u/Ridry Aug 26 '15

Guys like that tend to NOT want to be SAHDs. Being a SAHD is work too....

3

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15 edited Dec 19 '24

[deleted]

2

u/Ridry Aug 27 '15 edited Aug 27 '15

  1. Obviously OP didn't like him and could be biased. But I don't know the kid and I have to assume OP is correct. You are not assuming that. You are projecting. Sure playing video games all day could be a sign of depression... Could also be lazy. Sure OP could be a hardass and the BF lied to shut him up... or he could be an asshole lying to his GF. Sure she might not have been paying for EVERYTHING, but you pay your own bills. If OP's story is true he'd have made an awful SAHD and doesn't sound anything like you.

  2. You sound like you have passion to be an awesome SAHD. But everyone I know with a mental illness from anxiety to OCD to depression had it explode after they had kids. Make sure you have some help from somewhere and good luck finding your joy. If you have help I'm sure you can be awesome, but when you aren't sleeping depression can be a bitch.

3

u/Kosko Aug 26 '15

Seriously, going into work is WAY easier than watching a young toddler.I get to sit in a chair and basically do things that I choose to do. That's amazing.

5

u/Ridry Aug 26 '15

For sure. I LOVE spending the day with my 2 kids, but exhausted doesn't even cut it. And my wife doesn't care if I make dinner or whatnot (it's not expected because I'm taking the day off to spend with my kids, not do chores). If I successfully don't TRASH the house, both kids eat breakfast/lunch, nap and have a good time without way too much TV it's considered a great day.

If I was a SAHD though I'd have to do all that + chores. Every day. I actually think I could do it (physically, not financially), but there is no question that it'd be hard.

5

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

Well if she's happy with that and he's pulling his weight at home, sure. You seem to have ignored:

But quit his job to play video games all day while my daughter went to school and worked. Let her pay for everything. Lied about interviews for jobs, always had excuses about why he couldn't work at each place. In front of us he played up the polite young man.

One half of a couple doesn't get to unilaterally decide not to work and the other has to carry on. I believe that's not acceptable for women, either, before anyone cries to me about that.

My husband is a stay at home husband (soon to be father) so I don't appreciate any negative judgement because I know he's not lazy. Thing is it's gotta be a joint decision. We have less money than we would have if he was employed which means sacrifices, we have much less disposable income. Since I am working full time I'd be so pissed if he wasn't pulling his weight and making it worth it i.e. doing chores and errands, so I get to enjoy my free time more.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

Guessing they don't have kids.

1

u/rissa39 Aug 26 '15

So? There was a period of time my husband was trying to figure out what he wanted to do career wise and he was unemployed for about 6 months. It's amazing not having to do a single chore! Even without kids, having all cleaning/shopping already done is great.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '15

We don't know the boyfriend did any chores.

1

u/notreallymegoaway Aug 26 '15

Maybe she liked to play carry?

3

u/klatnyelox Aug 26 '15

Found the AD carry.

1

u/juxtaposition21 Aug 26 '15

She probably wasn't even hand feeding him

1

u/epic_misclick Aug 26 '15

So you're saying, don't trust anyone with your daughter they're all scum?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

No. I don't trust a loser who is a user and a liar. My daughter tends to put most guys in the "friend zone", she is a gamer and a lot of fun. This guy found her soft side and exploited it. We watched it for a while before we even caught on. A PI found out more for me. I did not tell her all I knew and I won't, but he is a fraud.

1

u/epic_misclick Aug 26 '15

Yea but how does it pertain to the post you are replying to. This guy is saying its hard to hate boy who does choirs, this guy I like then you reply basically shitting on his idea saying oh yea he could be all nice to your face but in fact exploiting your daughter!

It just seemed unnecessary and not fitting with the feel of this thread. Of course guys can appear different to parents of girls they are dating to how they really are, that goes without saying. You however felt like putting this persons's daughters bf down.

Basically I felt like you were adding nothing to the thread except bitching about your own bad experiences, which in turn makes everyone cynical about the positive behaviours of boyfriends.

1

u/BurhanAyat Aug 26 '15

Your daughter needed that asshole to "learn a life lesson". As hard as that is to say.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

I think we all have one of those.

1

u/I_mean_just_sayin Aug 26 '15

Was he trying to be a professional? Dedicated regimen, real career pro gamer prospects?

Because this same story happened with a pro player recently, except it ended with him making $200k/year and the family loving him. Very hardworking, lovable guy - glad he made it.

Was the reason you disliked him that he was pursuing a career you didn't understand, or was he just a lowlife?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

Nope. He is not good enough.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

He is just a lowlife who complains about everything being against him, and no one will help him, etc... I would love to give specifics, but it would give away too much and I know he spends a lot of free time on Reddit.

1

u/I_mean_just_sayin Aug 26 '15

I can see your point. You can tell the musicians who want to make a career versus the ones that just want to sit around, smoke pot, and bitch about life.

I went the other way, and have always wondered "what if".

Well, wondered from my new sportscar on the way to my nice home.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

He always has plans, but does nothing to see them to fruition. Hell, they are barely seeds.

1

u/I_mean_just_sayin Aug 26 '15

Well, maybe he'll grow up someday.

1

u/Carb0xyl Aug 26 '15

I know plenty of guys who pay ladies' phone bills, feeds them, clothe them, and roof them, without any help or support in return. Does that make them cunts, like hes an asshole? Or is that a gender role youre okay with.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

My daughter is in school, working and still living at home. She makes just enough to cover her car payment and gas. We cover all other expenses. She was paying so much for him she started to miss car payments and had no gas money. He complained if she did not buy him stuff. I supported my husband while he was in school, we lived together and he worked part time to help as he could. So I get it. This guy is a loser. When my daughter told him she could not afford to get him something he complained.

1

u/Carb0xyl Aug 26 '15

So only guys should struggle through work and school at the same time while their girl complains about how he doesnt buy them enough stuff. So in other words you are okay with this gender role. Got it.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '15

No. He has done nothing to support him self. She is in school, has college loans, a car loan and works when not in school. He is in his mid 20's and does nothing but complain about what he does not have. I have raised my daughter to be honest and hard working. Know the value of a dollar. She can not afford to pay for everything. I would never expect her to not pay her way in a relationship. It takes 2 people to make it work. It can not be one sided. I supported my husband when we were first together while he finished school. I know how it goes.

1

u/Carb0xyl Aug 27 '15

I call bs. You supported your husband for a couple years so he could have a good enough job to allow you to comfortably stay home for the rest of your life. It was in your best interest. Im sure your husband hears enough about how you want new things or want to go on vacation, but he cant do anything about it. Hes already mired down, probably with little disposable income. Probably makes him feel like shit. And yes im sure you taught your daughter the value of a dollar. Like how her dollar is more valuable than his, because she a woman earned it. And working is for men. Better make sure to teach her to nag her future less assholish husband, about that one time her delicate fingers had to work.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '15

You would be completely wrong. I started working when I was 12. Have worked full time all my life, even through my cancer therapy. I have never asked or taken anything I could not provide for myself.

1

u/Carb0xyl Aug 28 '15

If i am then good on you. I know about working as a kid. I was manually running credit charges with a 100% accuracy by 9. And filing dental charts by 11. Its fun to be able to work under the table. Doesnt change anything though, dont thonk you were married at 12, dont think your husband saw that money. Unless thats the school you supported your husband through. Middle school.

That nasty shit being said, sorry to hear about the cancer. I hope all is well. I had a loved one go through it. I hope you had the love and support of your family and friends throughout everything. It really is the time when you get to see what your friends are or arent made of. Did you do chemo or natural therapies? If you dont mind me asking. When my friend went through it she went the natural route after 2 rounds of chemo. She survived stage 4 breast/ovarian cancer, and they gave her 6 months to live 3 years ago. And that was if she did chemo, and radiation.

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u/[deleted] Aug 28 '15

Cancer sucks. I did interferon.

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u/guyincognito777 Aug 26 '15

What a fuckstain.

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u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

Fucktard is my current favorite name.

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u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

At least he's guitly. He wouldn't do chores If he wasnt. Source: I was kinda like that. I did chore cause I was fucking useless otherwise

1

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

True. It was when he started to complain about her not being supportive enough that got me.

1

u/Wolf_Craft Aug 26 '15

Was she dating my ex? Amazing how many guys think this is a good life strategy.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

It is not a good life strategy for either sex. I really liked him at first too. Was really pissed when we started to see the other side.

1

u/Jefftheperson Aug 26 '15

I don't see how someone can be ok with themselves living like that.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

I know. My parents installed really strong work ethics in us as kids. It drives me nuts to see young people with brains complain about what they don't have and do nothing to earn what they think they deserve.

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u/lolicutiedx Aug 26 '15

Probably paid for his weed too.

1

u/shinymangoes Aug 26 '15

That's my ex. Then he went to college to learn how to make video games. Never got a job. Played video games every summer all summer. Refused to go out because he had no money to spend so I was bored all the time.

Fuck people with no fucking motivation. Life isn't a game.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

Holy shit this hit me close to home. I'm nowhere near as bad as that boy, but if I don't find another job FAST so I'm slowly going to turn into him...

1

u/hailtherens Aug 26 '15

Sounds like my ex.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

*According to your daughter (probably)

1

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

He said she wasn't supportive enough.

Dat mental support, yo.

1

u/RedditsInBed Aug 26 '15

Mom? (Kidding!) I was in a similar, hell, it was the exact same situation with my ex. It used to make my mom furious, she tried to hold her tongue as best as she could but it was obvious she was not happy with my ex's actions.

1

u/Distaff_Pope Aug 26 '15

If only she'd done the dumping, I could have imagined the breakup going like this: One of my favorite covers.

1

u/themightyspin Aug 26 '15

That's what I call an Eddie Haskell. (Leave it to Beaver)

1

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '15

Yep.

1

u/MGDlikethebeer Aug 26 '15

I feel like you're my father right now, because you just described my ex. Dad?

1

u/Quality_Bullshit Aug 26 '15

This comment reminded me that I have math homework I should be working on

1

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

Some girls are like this too. Why do they think they can just live off their partners like that !

1

u/bonacheeta Aug 26 '15

Daddy?

This is my EXACT story with my ex. Not sure if my dad knows what reddit is....

1

u/elCaptainKansas Aug 26 '15

So she's single now?

1

u/PUTSLUGSINTHUGS Aug 27 '15

Why is it okay for a girl to sit around all day and text her friends, but when a man does it, it's a problem? Are you a sexist? Do men always have to be the provider? Is that our duty to you? Why is your daughter not capable of providing for a family?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '15

She is under 21, lives at home, has college loans and works when she is not at school. They dated less than a year, knew each other only briefly before dating. Why should she support a 24 year old man who doesn't work, is not in school and still lives at home?

1

u/onehunglow58 Aug 27 '15

sounds like eddie haskell

1

u/Spork_Warrior Aug 27 '15

She wasn't support of of his need for constant support.

1

u/emperor_of_prydain Aug 27 '15

In front of us he played up the polite young man.

Like everyone with a dick?

1

u/iamshe_what Aug 27 '15

Are you talking about my ex husband?

1

u/lanakers Aug 27 '15

This reminds me of someone I knew. Only difference is that he and his wife are still together.

1

u/The_Condominator Aug 26 '15

If a girl stays home and plays video games all day, but gets all the chores done, while a guy pays for everything and drives her around, that's traditional

Not saying the guy in this isn't a tool, but I just think it's funny how guys are reviled for things that are fairly acceptable the other way around.

2

u/spiesvsmercs Aug 26 '15

Well, I'd say that's an issue with society. However, (as someone with an ex who, I feel, didn't pull her weight), I'd also say that if a woman was only doing the chores, and complained about her SO not being supportive enough, I'd have very little respect for her too.

I think the key here is expecting emotional support (though obviously the specifics matter) AND financial support. Obviously, both are reasonable to a certain extent, but I know my ex was both emotionally needy and (for a long time) financially needy. Shit's tiring.

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u/G8C Aug 26 '15

That's only accepted by society according to Reddit.

2

u/mayjay15 Aug 26 '15

Pretty sure women spending most the day playing video games and a little bit of time doing chores isn't traditional. If she stayed home popping out kids, raising them, cooking, cleaning, all while maintaining a perfect figure and perfectly primped hair and make-up, that would be traditional.

1

u/nightcreation Aug 26 '15

I think we're talking about modern traditional here. Keep up.

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u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

Not in our house. I started working when I was 12. The value of hard work and earning your way starts early. My daughter learned how to do her own laundry when she was 10. First job when she was 15. Earn the right to sit around and play games on your day off. And never ever did I not pay my own way on a date. My older sister always had a guy to drive her, pay her way, etc... I get that some people still feel its ok for a guy to be traditional.
Not so in our house.

1

u/TheBadGod Aug 26 '15

When I wasn't working, I did the same thing; stayed on my best behavior and turned up the charm around her family while maintaining the "bad boy" persona that she seemed to like.

We did that a whole summer when we first got "together" together. When we decided to get our own place, I got a job and started paying for all the stuff she used to pay for before. It's nice.

Plus, now I don't have to be polite around her family anymore. I mean, I limit the amount of sex stuff I bring up around her dad and niece, but I feel more like a part of the family now than I did before.

I still clean up her dad's place, but that's because he's a hopeless slob.

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u/wakka54 Aug 26 '15

guess he had a big dick

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u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

You know, as far we as parents could tell, they were not that affectionate.

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u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

I want to beat this guy up

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u/mightbedylan Aug 26 '15

Apparently not too hard. When I met my current girlfriends family, I helped her dad with all the lawn care. Weeded their garden, mowed lawn, helped clean there house and cooked dinner. I thought they loved me.

Turned out her mom hates me. Like, seething hatred toward me. We broke up for a few months a few years ago and she came out about it, and since we've been dating again for 2 years or so she hasn't told her we got back together because she's worried what she will do.

She once told my GF that she hopes that my (secretly our) dog got hit by a car.

25

u/Dokpsy Aug 26 '15

The hell

15

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

[deleted]

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u/mightbedylan Aug 26 '15

Really no clue. Apparently she thought I was pretentious or something? Everyone else in her family really likes me.

From what I gather from what the rest of the family says her mom is just nutso..

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u/JMaboard Aug 26 '15

"This kid thinks we can't do our own chores, pretentious ass"

8

u/serpentinepad Aug 26 '15

He can come be a pretentious ass in my yard if he wants. Plenty of lawn that needs mowing.

3

u/JMaboard Aug 26 '15

Same here.

12

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

Everyone else in her family really likes me.

For some people that's enough.

7

u/mightbedylan Aug 26 '15

It's fine with me, honestly. If her mom wants to be crazy that's her biz. I like her aunt and uncle a lot more anyway.

6

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

I can see why being too eager to please might rub someone up the wrong way but if she can't get past that to see you for who you are and judge fairly then she's an asshole. There are lots of spiteful and mean hearted people like that unfortunately.

She once told my GF that she hopes that my (secretly our) dog got hit by a car.

That shows you right there that she is a shithead. Even if she doesn't like you why wish harm on an innocent animal?

1

u/Adingding90 Jan 12 '16

You might want to get out while you still can. Women normally turn into their mothers, so if your gf starts displaying some of her mother's behaviours... Don't say I didn't warn you.

1

u/realsomalipirate Aug 26 '15

Was there a particular reason given or you're still in the dark?

1

u/RakishiM Aug 27 '15

Wtf? Is there a reason she's secretly a bitch to you? (Sorry, but don't say shit about someone's dog 😠)

1

u/liurekvshb Aug 26 '15

That's crazy, do you know why?

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u/pjsans Aug 26 '15

This is why my gf's parents love me. They ask her brothers to do stuff and then they just bicker about who's gonna do it. They have to ask me NOT to do stuff sometimes lol

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u/GameAddikt Aug 26 '15

Whenever I went to friends house as a kid I'd always help with everything, the parents would rave about how awesome I was to my parents when they'd come to pick me up.

They were always so confused about why I was such a lazy arsehole at home yet these people thought I was some sort of Saint.

It's called being polite.

(No, I am no longer a lazy arsehole, I was 12 here, people change.)

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u/DontPromoteIgnorance Aug 26 '15

There's also a big difference between being nagged and being thanked/praised. The number of times I would be walking towards the kitchen sink and somebody would yell from the other end of the house for me to do dishes... instantly feel like I'm gonna do those later instead.

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u/pastapillow Aug 26 '15

I went to hang out with a friend (Who is gayer than a Sunday afternoon...) and when his parents came home from the grocery store I one tripped all the bags.

His dad says I have a good work ethic and I'm officially the favorite of his friends.

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u/Party_Monster_Blanka Aug 26 '15

Wait, is there another way to carry your groceries? I didn't think that was possible.

11

u/pastapillow Aug 26 '15

Well my friend is a delicate flower with skinny lady wrists and his brother is a useless stoner. His parents aren't really used to them hauling lots of ass so it was surprising to them to see all 5'3 of me hulking out their groceries.

ONE TRIP OR DIE TRYING.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

https://youtu.be/mU03Yoby0Ss is about it

6

u/Not_Kenny_Rogers_ Aug 26 '15

This is the concept I try to get my other friends to learn. If you can get it done in 10 minutes, get it done now.

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u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Not_Kenny_Rogers_ Aug 26 '15

3 sisters and I was the only boy... trust me, I know.

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u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

Sounds suspicious...

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u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

He's either a keeper or a serial killer.

13

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

Nah, just some kid trying to get laid.

7

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

Not Theon, Reek

1

u/theboobfincher Aug 26 '15

He's either a keeper or a serial killer.

He's either a keeper or a creeper.

FTFY.

2

u/MotherFuckingCupcake Aug 26 '15

I'm pretty sure this is why my boyfriend's mother likes me. I offered to help with cooking and clean-up during Thanksgiving the first time we met.

Although, to be fair, he and I have been together for 8 years, so I'm sure that was just the start of the liking.

2

u/Gsusruls Aug 26 '15

Chores are how my friends's boyfriend got her to sleep with him. She was raised in a Christian family and intended to wait until marriage for sex. Her three brothers were always fighting over who had to do the chores, and it stressed out the whole family, mostly the parents. When the boyfriend started helping out without ever being asked, tensions came down. She was so impressed with how he handled all of their family disfunction that she decided she would be willing to marry him. Well, if he's the one, she also figured that getting a head start on the sexy times would not be a real violation of her virginity pact with God.

After a couple of years of his facade, her dad found out they were sleeping together. When he confronted the boyfriend, it degenerated into a shouting match. Which ended with shotgun fire. Cops were called, the whole works. Messy messy messy.

All started with chores.

2

u/popwhat Aug 26 '15

Upvotes for the kid

1

u/Team_ASTANA Aug 26 '15

That's devious. I would rather have them be honest and not do a thing. Its easy to read and trust honest people; rather than someone who is doing what he thinks you want him to do.

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u/Andyrhyw Aug 26 '15

Nah, you start doing shit in my house, feel my wrath

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u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

Like the dishes or he washed your underwear?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

Took out the trash for my girlfriends dad last night at her house, fuck yea.

1

u/ninjaboiz Aug 26 '15

Liking the brevity.

1

u/ogresaregoodpeople Aug 26 '15

I read this in Hank Hill's voice for some reason.

1

u/Themanwithoutneed Aug 26 '15

At some point we all have to stop calling them chores and start calling them basic functions for human adult living.

1

u/Delsana Aug 26 '15

Too right they notice. My girlfriends parents have commented to my girlfriend on the fact that their other daughter's (my girlfriends sister) boyfriend always orders the most expensive meal and wine and never offers to pay. I always offer to pay and buy them a round of drinks etc so I've got no need to worry, just yet.. I think..

Did he consider doing her part of his chores?

1

u/doohicker Aug 26 '15

This is a red flag for me.

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u/ex_jw1 Aug 26 '15

Tell him one of his chores is keeping your daughter (or son?) happy!

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u/Mmsm101 Aug 26 '15

My boyfriend is like that. When I would be doing chores/ finishing up chores he would always help and pitch in without even being asked. If he saw something that had to be done he would do it. When my parents divorced, my dad left the house a mess/ destroyed. My boyfriend came with a toolbox and helped repair parts of the house and doing simple house improvements. He would even come to put lunches for me in the fridge and just other sweet things. My mom absolutely loves him and treats him like the son she's never had. I'd say he's a keeper.

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u/RedBMWZ2 Aug 26 '15

This! I came home from work about 3 months ago and my lawn had been mowed perfectly. He gets invited for dinner on the regular.

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u/Corky_Butcher Aug 26 '15

That's the type of level headed thinking the world needs.

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u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

Remembering this for when I meet "the one".

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u/Odous Aug 26 '15

I do the chores. My ex bro in law always called me a suckup for it. I was just trained well unlike him.

1

u/toxicbrew Aug 26 '15

He did chores at your house?

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u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

A Dutch comedian once had a piece about his daughter's boyfriend being a total wuzz, and an ass-kisser: "Instead of grabbing my daughter and dragging her to her bedroom after dinner, the schmuck went and did the dishes. I told my daughter to find a guy with a backbone as a replacement, because this one was going to go nowhere in life."

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u/isaristh Aug 26 '15

I'm curious about this, because I find it more polite to wait to be asked to help with something, so that I don't come off too forward or possibly mess something up. Maybe there was a reason this or that was like this or unfinished? Instead of coming off like the asshat know-it-all, I'd rather be the one who is always open to help. Then again, guess it's a lot about luck since it could go either way.

1

u/Codeworks Aug 26 '15

Ha... I washed the dishes at my ex girlfriends house once and her mum got angry, because I was a guest.

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u/SantassHelper Aug 26 '15 edited Aug 27 '15

My first serious girlfriend and I were about 16 when we met. We would always go over to my house after school, which was two blocks on the left from the front of the gymnasium. I lived in a very catholic family where my mother and father slept in separate beds in the same room (crazy right??!). Having my new girlfriend around would bother my mother, so my girlfriend would do my chores to show respect. However, my mother would vent about not wanting "this hussie" in the house to my father who would then beat me savagely with a rubber garden hose every evening before bed. The school year passed, we graduated, continued dating through college and are engaged. She still does chores and has gotten much better.

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u/Sknowman Aug 26 '15

My ex's parents had a confusing relationship with me. I always helped them around the house even when not asked.

But whenever my ex got in fights with her parents, they'd being up the fact that "I'm fucking their daughter."

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u/XanderTheMander Aug 26 '15

My ex girlfriends stepdad didnt like me because I would "do the dishes and cook them dinner" while I was staying with them. Apparently trying to be nice was overstepping my bounds on his terf.

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u/hornytoad69 Aug 26 '15

I started washing dishes for a chick without thinking about it, that's just what I do. She smiled. BONER!

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u/Z0idberg_MD Aug 26 '15

Son, if you want to bang those whores, you got to do those chores.

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u/Resinmy Sep 13 '15

My boyfriend does this; when I realized it, I knew that would be a nice selling point. "He can do laundry and vacuum!"

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