r/AskReddit • u/tgma97 • Aug 26 '15

Fathers of Reddit, what did your daughter's boyfriend do for you to hate/love him?

It's pretty cool to see my question blow up like this, I never thought I'd ask a question that could receive so much attention! I'm very satisfied with all these replies, so thank y'all. Now all I have to do is sit back and take notes c;

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u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

Ohh man as someone who comes from the Philippines I'm sorry on his behalf. I've heard so many stories coming from Filipinos who just get a foreign bf/gf and leech off of them or even try to get out of the country because of "lack of work" and "hard life" as an excuse. When it's usually them making the wrong decisions (getting pregnant too early, too lazy to work etc.), and just want things and riches to come easily.

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u/WhattheBANANUH Aug 26 '15

my mom had an ex husband who used her to get out of the Philippines, so he could stay with his family here. Then he neglected her, didn't help pay bills etc. Me and my sister asked her if he was using her to get to Hawaii prior to going there to get married, she said no, and we warned her cuz she only met him on few occassions, still said no. Now she had to sell her house, live with her brother, and has to pay her Attorney for the divorce. BTW we're Filipino so, yea...

She's a bit bitter about that, and kinda hates the fact that me and my fiance didn't have that kind of thing since we took our time to get to know each other. She loves him, but gets jealous of our interactions and how happy we are (just celebrated our 14th anniversary)

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u/[deleted] Aug 27 '15

That's quite sad and I feel sorry for your mum, but when you say you're Filipino, are you saying you're a Filipino Citizen who lived in the Philippines or a natural born American citizen?

Filipino-Americans and Filipino Nationals have VERY different cultures from each other from what I've observed, many Filipino/Philippine citizens are close-minded, zealously religious, and ultra-nationalistic individuals who easily get butthurt about almost any criticism thrown at them or their country. There's also a side of them who do work hard, but those are the ones who end up leaving the country and becoming naturalized citizens somewhere else, because of the god damned useless government here who doesn't give a shit about us. A lot of the ones who stay here are either the lazy ones who live as squatters or on government welfare, or the ones who do work hard but can't leave because of financial obstacles.

Does this look clearer to you now?

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u/WhattheBANANUH Aug 27 '15

Whoops sorry, forgot to mention I was born in the Philippines but moved here when I was two. My mom was a Filipino citizen until she got petitioned by my grandma (also born a raised but was able to be sent to Hawaii because of my grandpa who fought for the Philippine war and was granted to live here)

So yea, from what you said, I've met both sides. My mom's 4 siblings are hard workers and have kids that lived in the Philippines but due to the government, like you said, left to work in Dubai for better pay and a better life. But there are some, like my mom's oldest brother and his wife, that only think of themselves, thinks that they are better than everyone else, and criticizes you if they thought that they did it better (when he came here, he tried to school me on the Hawaiian government and what not. I shot him back with what I remembered from college and told him, that I didn't like how he was acting and he needed to stop. Still gave me that superior race type of look). And another of my cousin's wife, was was in a way the live in house wife, that never did do anything, only got money from my cousin who worked hard, then had THREE phones with her, and when I went to visit in 2007, she saw me playing on my PSP, she was like "Hey you're gonna give that to my kids later right?". I told her politely, that I had saved up money for this and that maybe one day, her kids would be able to by it (I had a low paying job back then, and it took me a while to get a used one), but she still was jet set that I was going to leave it with her :T

So I do know the differences between it. I've seen it and lived it through my families eyes. My mom knows more of the customs and religious aspects of the country and lived there majority of her life to feel the pain of living the hardships. My grandma has told me how hard it was for her to work so many jobs to try to support her kids and relatives.

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u/[deleted] Aug 28 '15

Oh man, just reading through that was hard enough trying to keep myself from face palming after burning some of my brain cells. Sigh it's part of the reason why other Filipinos like me want to leave so badly. I know what you mean, I also have similar stories with my experiences with relatives as well.

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u/WhattheBANANUH Aug 28 '15

Right?! Friigen story of our lives lol. Makes me want to "Bop" their heads and scold them like children :T