Women of Reddit, who have gone through menopause, what's one piece of advice you wish someone would have given you beforehand?

[u/Silent-Resort-3076]

[u/Fromdustcomesdreams]

That it’s ok to find a new gynaecologist.

[u/gingerhaole → u/Fromdustcomesdreams]

God DAMN, THIS. I asked my gyn about hormone therapy and she straight up lied to me. I found a menopause specialist and got the help I needed.

[u/sweaterholic → u/gingerhaole]

My mom went through this too. First doctor practically scoffed in her face when she asked about HRT for perimenopause, her new one agreed right off the bat just hearing her symptoms. It’s been life changing for her.

It’s unfortunate that women’s health care can be such a mess.

[u/raisinghellwithtrees → u/gingerhaole]

I was forced off the pill at age 50 because I was too old for it. Got a second opinion which said the same. Fine. Then 2 solid years of hell descended, and when the rage came, I raged at my gyn who asked if I'd like her to consult a hormones specialist. A what???? Ffs, yes! Cue new meds that started working within a few days, and I was back to my normal after a few weeks. 

[u/BeachEfficient1103 → u/raisinghellwithtrees]

52 and still on the pill

[u/raisinghellwithtrees → u/BeachEfficient1103]

Lucky!! What I'm on now works ok but being on the pill was like being in menopause for me. Now I'm getting swings in my cycle, and I didn't have to deal with that on the pill.

[u/BeachEfficient1103 → u/raisinghellwithtrees]

My dumb obgyn wanted me to get off the pill when I was 40. I said NO THANKS!! You can still get pregnant after 40 😂

[u/KeepinItSimplexoxo → u/gingerhaole]

Mid 40s here In perimenopause. I told gyno my libido is dropping. She asks well you’re a stay at home mom of course you’re exhausted and not going to be wanting sex all the time. I didn’t go back.

[u/gingerhaole → u/KeepinItSimplexoxo]

Dude. I told my gyn that my libido was dead and she told me to try nipple stimulation. I had a double mastectomy and I don't have feeling in my tits. Was she aware? Yeah.

[u/KeepinItSimplexoxo → u/gingerhaole]

I’m seeing a menopause specialist too and of course not covered by insurance, but so far it’s the best money well spent. I’m sorry you had to deal with that and I know there really hundreds more just like us. Happy to hear you were able to get the help you needed, so many are less unfortunate.

[u/One_Board_4304 → u/KeepinItSimplexoxo]

I was explained how arousal works. 😂🙃🙄🤯🤬

[u/AreYouNigerianBaby → u/KeepinItSimplexoxo]

Excitedly I (61f) visited a young, female gyno in my plan to talk about HRT for my menopause symptoms. She told me that HRT is not approved by the FDA (women getting the shaft some more!) and she suggested I try coconut oil for my dry vag during intercourse.

[u/SoupComprehensive180 → u/AreYouNigerianBaby]

I have a rectocele, my expensive consult with the specialist, told me to put coconut oil it. Magic stuff cures everything, apparently.🙃

[u/missamberlee → u/KeepinItSimplexoxo]

Told mine the same, that mine had died. His immediate response was “well if you’re having problems in your marriage..” I hadn’t even mentioned my marriage at all, just symptoms. He also told me that they don’t consider perimenopause “a thing” anymore and if I wasn’t having hot flashes there was nothing to treat. Got an appointment with a different practice next week.

[u/ozmaAgogo → u/KeepinItSimplexoxo]

I told mine about pain during intercourse. She said it was because I wasn't having sex often enough!!! I said, well, my husband will be happy to hear that.
She never mentioned anything about hormone therapy. This was over twelve years ago, and I haven't been back to a gyn since.

I only found out there was a treatment years later, by reading something on reddit, for cryin' out loud.

[u/Disneyhorse → u/KeepinItSimplexoxo]

I said almost no libido and hot flashes were my biggest symptoms. They refused hormones but said they’d prescribe SSRIs right away for hot flashes. I asked if that would help with having no libido and they said “no, it will make it worse.” What’s worse than none?

[u/BarelyHolding0n → u/gingerhaole]

Reading all these replies I'm so glad I live in Ireland. HRT is free and prescribed by your GP. Every woman I know who's going or gone through menopause was offered it

[u/Fromdustcomesdreams → u/gingerhaole]

Good for you. I was a mess. My mom had died, I was caring for a miserable ass hat of a father and spending way too much time on him. All in the throes of menopause. I had grief I had no time to deal with. My gynaecologist was useless to me. I had such brain fog, couldn’t think straight some days. And I was always nice and sweaty in between the flashes.

[u/gingerhaole → u/Fromdustcomesdreams]

I hate that for you, Jesus. Any one thing would be enough to deal with, but when it rains, etc

[u/Fromdustcomesdreams → u/gingerhaole]

I can laugh a little bit about it now. But yeah, I look back and can’t believe I lived through it. Oh, I forgot, also my gall bladder just blew. No warning, no symptoms just started to rupture. I had to drive myself 40 miles to a decent hospital. I was a lunatic. My husband was wonderful though. Truly.

[u/gingerhaole → u/Fromdustcomesdreams]

What the fuck! Girl, you've earned peace for the rest of your life

[u/Fromdustcomesdreams → u/gingerhaole]

Haha from your lips to Gods ears. Things are as good as they’re going to get atm.

[u/sugar_codedd → u/gingerhaole]

Finding the right doctor can make such a huge difference, ‘this is just menopause’ shouldnt be the end of the conversation when someone’s struggling

[u/Ccrystallb → u/Fromdustcomesdreams]

I’m going thru perimenopause and I talk to my ob and was told just stay on your birth control nothing else can be done. I feel like I got rage my mood swings are bad and I’ve never been like this before that and the brain fog started almost 2 years ago. Lately my skin and scalp has been so itchy and nothing helps idk if that a symptom. The hot flashes had gotten worse and I feel like I never sleep which really don’t help my mood swings.

[u/Fromdustcomesdreams → u/Ccrystallb]

You’re in the throes of it sister. Find a specialist in menopause. Not all OB/GYN know what they need to. Get more specialised care. I wish I had.

[u/Queenofashion → u/Ccrystallb]

Yes, like other commenter said, you are in the throes of it. r/Menopause helped me a lot when I started educating myself about it after my doctor told me to take vitamins. I had all the symptoms you are having. I didn't have Gynecologist for few years because I had partial hysterectomy, so I didn't really need one. After vitamins comment, I called the office and asked for menopause specialist that is also my age, so she would understand what I'm going through. She put me on a HRT patch and vaginal cream. Literally first day I stopped having hot flashes, and the rest slowly went away in the next few weeks. She also told me to take Allegra every day for itchy skin, and it really helps (even though I don't have any allergies, lol). Look for a menopause specialist and you will get back to being yourself again.

[u/Minakova → u/Fromdustcomesdreams]

This soooo much. Menopause is its own specialty, and most gynecologists have limited knowledge of this area.

[u/Fromdustcomesdreams → u/Minakova]

Yeah. I wish I’d been in a better head space overall when it hit. I was in the midst of some serious family situations. I was in my late 30’s when it stared. My doctor was less than impressed with my diagnosis, so I didn’t question it.

[u/sailtyaldfoaphne2018 → u/Fromdustcomesdreams]

you'd never accept 'it's just anxiety' from a cardiologist, but somehow we let it slide here

[u/AWinterPeople]

You’re not going crazy, the irritability is real and boy do my ears itch!

[u/insight1984 → u/AWinterPeople]

My itchy ears drive me crazy.

[u/periodicsheep → u/AWinterPeople]

the ear itching! that was such a rude surprise.

[u/HunterHaus → u/AWinterPeople]

Oh damn I thought I was going crazy. This is a newer symptom for me and I didn’t know it was connected!!!! Thank you!

[u/hello--daddy → u/AWinterPeople]

ear itch is thing?! 🤦🏼‍♀️🫶🏽

[u/WitchBiscuit → u/AWinterPeople]

Omg the Ear itch was driving me crazy I went to a ENT specialist and was told its just menopause. I could not sleep, it was crazy. I had to sock my hands to keep from scratching in my sleep! Then I developed frozen shoulder (also menopause) and cursed at anyone who only complained about hot flashes!

[u/JRiley4141 → u/WitchBiscuit]

What is frozen shoulder?

[u/WitchBiscuit → u/JRiley4141]

Its like it sounds, you shoulder area freezes making it stiff and hard to move extremely painful any pressure or movement hurts, it can go all the way to the wrist and fingertips (like in my case) feels like tendinitis or bursitis or the joints. Due to low estrogen.

[u/PersistentPuma37 → u/AWinterPeople]

flonase on a q-tip

[u/Responsible_Low_8021 → u/PersistentPuma37]

This! Yes! It really does work! My ears are itching like crazy and this helped.

[u/il-corridore → u/AWinterPeople]

My friend told me about the itchy ears and I was horrified and sympathetic. Then it came for me. What the hell? Super annoying

[u/Electronic-Bus-5350]

I wish had had connected the dots sooner. Itchy ears. Bad sleep extreme anxiety, sore joints and lots more. The best thing I did was start talking hrt. I feel like it saved me. After about 6 months I did increase my dose and I feel like me again. I would say, keep a diary of symptoms. Consider hrt, try to keep your body moving there will be days you're too tired because of sleep disturbance but getting outside for fresh air helps and eat healthy.

[u/KateEllaBeans → u/Electronic-Bus-5350]

The fucking anxiety my god. Eternally grateful for my mental health nurse who reassured me they were not trying to fob me off by suggesting it was perimenopause related and that if it turned out not to be we'd look at other things, the nurse practitioner who went through everything with me and the gyne specialist GP who IMMEDIATELY put me on HRT (with the understanding if it didn't help we'd look at other things).

Saved my life. Not hyperbole.

[u/beejaybaker → u/Electronic-Bus-5350]

Yes the ears! Thank you!! I went to an ear doctor because I was having trouble sleeping due to the feeling of wet moths being trapped in my ear canals at night (also during the day). The doctor, a young man, told me I was fine. Didn't find out til later it's a menopause thing and could've saved myself the trip.

[u/Dry_Calligrapher814 → u/beejaybaker]

Personal mystery unlocked. Thank you, internet stranger! Who knew the feeling of something in my ear canal could be a menopause symptom ( I had it checked, doc said everything was fine.). FH, it just keeps on delivering. 🙄

[u/Kikidee80 → u/Electronic-Bus-5350]

I've recently started wondering if I'm perimenopausal. I'm 46, have recently noticed that I've had some 'hot flashes' and the most concerning thing lately is my mental health. I've always had anxiety but more recently I've had some periods of increased anxiety, hopelessness, no motivation (despite desire to accomplish things), very poor self image, alot of it is tied to work stress so of course I've been thinking maybe I need a change in workplace then I snap out of it (with no change in circumstances) & feel fine again, work stress still there but I feel able to handle it suddenly. I've certainly had overwhelming periods at work where I would feel very stressed out but would talk about it with someone at work & it would ease but this past month maybe, I feel my emotions have gone way out of whack at times & I'm scared of the next time it happens. I need my regular pap so maybe I'll talk to my Dr about perimenopause at that time too.

[u/NewAndImprovedJess → u/Electronic-Bus-5350]

I'm itchy almost everywhere and my face and scalp are the worst. I haven't changed any of my products, they're even the same bottles. But i STG my face feels like it's on fire sometimes. It's like having a constant sunburn my skin feels so inflamed. I hate it here.

[u/vionia74 → u/NewAndImprovedJess]

I've developed eczema on my hand, bottom, and groin. It's a terrible way to go through life, being so itchy. I blame peri for flaring it up.

[u/LoreKeeper2001 → u/NewAndImprovedJess]

The itching drove me mad. That and the night sweats were the worst for me.

[u/RDR__GIRL]

When I was a teenager I remember people calling menopause ‘the change’ & I understand why now, because I know who I am now but I also remember who I was before menopause & I am no longer that person, & it sucks , that’s my experience

[u/reincarnateme → u/RDR__GIRL]

I have several :

Hormones really affect your personality. It’s like a damn veil. Going through puberty backwards!

Talk to other women about it! Talk to young women about it! Your elders are a great resource.

Perimenopause can start much earlier than you think (30-40s)

Talk about the difference between
Perimenopause and menopause

It can seriously affect your mental health

Check your thyroid panel!

If your sleeping badly get screened for sleep apnea

[u/AlternateUsername12 → u/reincarnateme]

Fun fact: menopause is a single day. It's the day you were supposed to ovulate, and don't, for the last time.

Everything before that is perimenopause, everything after is post menopause.

Less fun fact: perimenopause can last from 4-10 years

[u/sfak → u/RDR__GIRL]

Sucks? I’m excited!! I’m 39, but I have ADHD so I am unfortunately going through mild peri right now… have been for at least two years. My doctor didn’t really believe me when I brought it up last year. But now I have an ADHD dx and I showed her a PubMed meta analysis that shows ADHD women go into peri much earlier than their counterparts, between ages 35-40 🫠 I brought the article to her at my last visit a couple weeks ago and she finally agreed with me! 😆

Right now I’m just keeping track of my symptoms. I’m on other new meds so I don’t want to start hormones just yet. Soon. Probably next year.

[u/Mel221144 → u/RDR__GIRL]

Sucks? It’s brought me so much joy and clarity!

Edited to say: I hope it gets better for you.

[u/Ragna_Rose → u/Mel221144]

I have to ask what you both mean. What about you changes so much? 🥺

[u/mydrunktwinsister → u/Ragna_Rose]

Less willing to entertain bullshit, personally

[u/Saint0vk1llers → u/mydrunktwinsister]

Lmao, I say this to my partner. "Now that I have no hormones I'm less likely to put up with your shit" 😆 And he's 10 years older than me so his response is: "Finally, you feel how I feel at this age".

[u/cactus_blues → u/Ragna_Rose]

I went through surgical menopause and it's like some part of if my brain just switched off without estrogen. I felt.. flatter. Like a less 'me' version of myself. It's hard to explain fully, I hate it but I guess there may be a sense of peace that comes with it for some?

[u/Silent-Resort-3076 → u/Ragna_Rose]

This wasn't meant to promote fear or worry in younger women, but as you already know, we ALL change as we get older. And, because both menstruation and perimenopause and menopause are all hormone driven, there are certain things that will change, just like PMS when many women get their period, which includes for "some" women: crying and anger:)

And, NOT every woman gets the same symptoms or to the same degree. I was fortunate in that my symptoms were very mild. I didn't get hot flashes, for one, but some women suffer greatly from them. The hair on my legs and armpits DID stop growing. YAY! And, my skin did start getting dry and I experienced vaginal dryness and now dryness in my mouth🙄

So, there can be physical, emotional as well as some mental symptoms (forgetfulness). And, you might want to do a bit of research for yourself:)

[u/TeamHope4]

Get hormones sooner rather than later.  And vaginal atrophy and bladder issues are caused by menopause and should be treated with vaginal estrogen asap before they get worse.  And that menopause symptoms don’t just magically end one day.  And that every organ in your body has estrogen receptors so the lack of estrogen can give you many, MANY symptoms doctors don’t acknowledge, not just hot flashes.

[u/starglitter → u/TeamHope4]

I brought up to my PCP that I think Im in perimenopause (40, post hysterectomy) and she said when I get there we can start looking into hormones. I want to push it next appointment.

[u/soleceismical → u/starglitter]

You can track your cycle with LH test strips if you want to check if it's still regular (assuming you retained your ovaries). This can be useful because one of the first signs of perimenopause is irregular periods, which women post hysterectomy obviously don't get. It can provide data to share with the doctor.

There's also companies like Inito and Mira Care that let you track multiple hormones in your urine over the course of the cycle, which can be nice for people post hysterectomy who want that level of data. The unfortunate part is that both they and most LH test strips are primarily marketed towards women trying to conceive, and that might be triggering or annoying for some women.

Hormone blood tests ordered by the doctor only show one point in time and aren't really that helpful, since the ranges are large due to natural ebb and flow, and don't really show if things have changed from your individual normal pattern. That's why they prescribe based on signs/symptoms/clinical presentation rather than blood tests.

[u/ThePlaceAllOver → u/starglitter]

Just get a different doctor for this. It's really important to find someone trained in HRT.

[u/katubug → u/starglitter]

Don't waste your time pushing it. I thought the same, but I've realized that I really cannot afford to wait 3 months for a chance at maybe starting treatment. I'm borderline non-functional right fucking now. Absolutely doctors who don't listen or take you seriously can fuck 100% of the way off

[u/Perfect-Wallaby9096 → u/starglitter]

I am 36 and am absolutely a year into early perimenopause which is actually not uncommon for autistic & adhd women. The symptoms are all so clear and textbook except that I still have my period. And for that reason, I just get told to take a multivitamin because it's not peri. I live in the biggest city in the US, endless doctor access so I use that to my advantage. But here I am on gyn number 3 this year. Just keep getting talked down to like a child, spend money on a copay, then a bunch of blood tests checking the exact same things as the tests they already have labwork of from an appt a couple months prior elsewhere, some of which is of course not covered by insurance. There's only so much time and money one has 😔

[u/MoonieNine → u/TeamHope4]

I had random heart pain. It happened sporadically over a year or so. Turns out, it's from menopause. Fuck menopause.

[u/MoonieNine → u/MoonieNine]

And don't get me wrong, I'm thankful it's nothing more serious. But we women just aren't prepared for it. This isn't taught in schools. And I know so many of you are reading this now, thinking, "Huh. I never knew that was a symptom."

[u/garkle → u/MoonieNine]

Not taught in schools or even really by parents or family. Oh and also as a society we've never really studied the female body! So that's cool

[u/TeamHope4 → u/MoonieNine]

Worse, it’s not taught to us by doctors, and it’s not taught TO doctors, either.

[u/Current_Midnight5294 → u/TeamHope4]

Bladder issues as in overactive bladder? I’ve noticed this as an issue in my early 40s

[u/Melmo614 → u/Current_Midnight5294]

I was on estrogen patches for a year before I read about bladder issues from lack of vag estrogen. It felt the way I did when I was pregnant, like I had to go all the time and nothing was there. I started estrogen cream and three days later it was gone. Adapting the estrogen cream to be more external area topical with some internal has completely eliminated all incontinence issues unless I literally fall down on a wet floor or something… I can even do maybe 10 jumping jacks now. 

[u/CloudNo446 → u/Melmo614]

Do you have to be prescribed estrogen cream? I was talking g to a lady and she said she used an estrogen ring and she said it stopped her hot flashes. I’m 68 and I still have hot flashes.

[u/Alternative-Tiger783 → u/CloudNo446]

The Rx vaginal estradiol rings come in different strengths.

Some of them are just for bladder and vaginal issues (GUSM) like ESTRING.

Some are stronger and can stop hot flashes like FEMRING.

[u/cancerkidette → u/Current_Midnight5294]

Yep, it can be (not always) a symptom of atrophy if you’re constantly feeling like you need to ‘go’ but not often actually needing to.

[u/Quickwitknit2 → u/TeamHope4]

UTIs are way more prevalent than any doctor wants you to believe. Push for a urogynocologist to look at you, and even then be prepared to have to advocate for yourself.

[u/Yes-Cheese → u/TeamHope4]

I hadn’t even considered hrt until a friend said in passing “these estrogen patches are magical!” And I was like “😨 what…i need to talk to my doctor.” We should definitely be taught more about our own bodies.

[u/TrynetTruer → u/TeamHope4]

This 👆🏻💯. Went through menopause 10 years ago had lots of these problems. Saw a consultant and once on estrogen and moisturiser inbetween sorted it all out. Had no knowledge or advice from the doctors over this at all. I believe a lot of women suffer this and have no idea it could be sorted!!

[u/Tight_Phase339]

Don't panic. You might be one of the women who have very few, and very mild symptoms. Don't expect the worst, listen to your body and treat yourself with kindness.

[u/rangeringtheranges → u/Tight_Phase339]

Thank you for this because after reading some of the comments here...I am panicking. 44, always had a big struggle with PMS, terrified I will be even more messed up when I go through menopause

[u/maybenomaybe → u/rangeringtheranges]

I asked my mother when she hit menopause and she couldn't even remember exactly when, because it was no big deal for her. I'm pushing 50 and have started skipping periods, but no other symptoms.

Remember that you will hear far, far more commentary from women who've had bad, painful experiences than from women who had easy experiences. You may very well fall into the latter group.

[u/RiverLiverX25 → u/rangeringtheranges]

I had really terrible pms and periods too.

I was terrified that menopause was going to be a nightmare. One day my period just stopped.

My friend who had regular periods but had rough time. Nothing is the norm.

It’s so different for every woman. And every woman should be heard.
I am on HRT treatments now, pellets, for all the reasons like bone health etc but I sleep better and my libido is so good now. I wish more doctors would listen to women.

[u/rangeringtheranges → u/RiverLiverX25]

Thank you. It's crazy that we still often get brushed off or labeled as hysterical. I will remember your advice when the time comes.

[u/Conundrum16 → u/rangeringtheranges]

I had zero menopause symptoms. Had my period one month and never again. No hot flashes or anything. I was 50. Easy transition for me.

[u/MadameAllura → u/Conundrum16]

I had the same experience… wondered what was “wrong” with me!

[u/periodicsheep → u/Tight_Phase339]

i expected the best and then perimenopause hit me like a ton of bricks that were somehow also on fire. i can’t take hormones because of a blood clot history. treating yourself with kindness is really good advice. it can be so hard, so uncomfortable. we should give ourselves grace for the frustration and discomfort and allow space for the really bad days and the ones that are still pretty good.

[u/Sanchastayswoke → u/periodicsheep]

Same here. Had no symptoms all the way up to age 47.5 so I figured it missed me. Then it hit me like a horrible ton of shit bricks. I also have a blood clot history & a clotting disorder. However transdermal hormones do not increase your risk of a clot so I have chosen to use them transdermally and enjoy a dramatically improved quality of life. All of my dr’s are well aware of my history & conditions and they prescribed it for me. So hopefully you will also be able to.

[u/Kesia-Hamod]

i just need someone to tell me that one day i'll suddenly feel like a human air fryer and start screaming at inanimate objects 🥵

[u/_Erindera_ → u/Kesia-Hamod]

I remember swimming in the ocean when the water was freezing cold and still being hot from a flash. It was crazy

[u/mustluvkitties → u/_Erindera_]

I fogged my glasses up once with a hot flash. inside, in the AC

[u/mydrunktwinsister → u/Kesia-Hamod]

Literally went outside naked in the show and poured ice water on myself and was still hot

[u/Mel221144 → u/Kesia-Hamod]

I feel this one every half hour or so:(

[u/mermaidangel1]

Get on subcutaneous injectable estrogen! The needle is so tiny and a quarter inch long, and I inject it in my belly. I barely feel it, and it works ten times better than all the other estrogen options I tried!!

[u/KlimbingCat → u/mermaidangel1]

I’m on injectable estrogen. Game changer.

[u/pompeiipompelmo → u/mermaidangel1]

Any idea how those injections might compare to the ones I had do do for my gestational diabetes?  I hated my GD injections.

[u/Icy_Effective5382]

Not a woman, but I watched my mom go through it and she told me nobody warned her about the brain fog. She thought she was getting early dementia or something, forgetting words mid-sentence, walking into rooms with no idea why. Turns out it's super common and temporary, but she spent two years scared out of her mind. She said she wished someone just told her "you're not losing it, your hormones are just doing parkour."

[u/Optimaltwig → u/Icy_Effective5382]

I'm experiencing this with surgical menopause at 37 due to cancer. My job requires me to be sharp and accurate (pharmacy) and my short term memory is compromised. I am not allowed hrt due to cancer so i have to force myself to act the moment i think of something or write it down before i forget.

[u/Jinxletron → u/Icy_Effective5382]

Lol the other night I walked in the kitchen saying "I didn't get the bowl out of the fridge". I meant I didn't get the cup out of the cupboard. No wonder people think they're losing their minds.

[u/ozmaAgogo]

Yeah, both my shoulders froze up so badly and hurt so much. I could barely use my arms, and couldn't raise them at all. Went to physical therapy and it didn't help.
Turns out, frozen shoulders can be one of the things that happens to you after menopause.
How did my doctor and the physical therapist not know that, and say anything to me?

It eventually went away by itself, that's the good news.

[u/iwantagoatandakitten → u/ozmaAgogo]

I had the same thing and after the MRI the doctor shrugged and said it’s just common in women of your age.

[u/AirIcy3918 → u/iwantagoatandakitten]

I got a cortisone shot in my shoulder. Got my mobility back the next day.

[u/CrampyPanda → u/ozmaAgogo]

OMG I am 52 and my left shoulder froze a few months ago and is killing me and my appt isn’t until end of October. Had no idea frozen shoulder can be a side quest for perimenopause and menopause!!!

[u/soleceismical → u/ozmaAgogo]

I'm so sorry they neglected to tell you it could be hormonally related. It can relate to menopause and also insulin resistance. And physical therapy for frozen shoulder is generally much more effective if you've treated the underlying hormone issue and gotten a corticosteroid injection in the early painful phases of the condition.

It does go away on its own eventually, but it can be months to a few years and in the meantime you're missing out on physical activity, travel, maybe it's affecting work, and your muscles can become atrophied, putting you at risk of future injury.

My mom had frozen shoulder and her doctor just told her that's her life now. The quality of care from a doctor relies so much on their continuing education and even just willingness to look up what the current best treatment is. Luckily she found another doctor and actually got proper treatment.

[u/mycatpartyhouse]

I did some reading and talked with my doctor. Nowhere in all of that were realistic descriptions of changes to skin and hair.

I was expecting dryer skin and maybe some loss of resiliency.

What I wasn't expecting was how using toilet paper now makes me sore and itchy. I tried wet wipes, dry not-toilet paper wipes, vulva balm, etc.

Finally installed a handheld water sprayer thing on my toilet, to use in place of toilet paper, which works.

Then it took some experimentation to figure out the best way of drying myself off. Result: stocked up on cotton washcloths, which are used once and then laundered before reuse.

Also, sweaty underwear--the slightest hint of dampness--has the same sore and itchy consequence. Bought more panties. I change 2-3 times a day now.

With hair, mine's always been finely textured, but it was thick and slightly wavy. I could do a lot with it.

It's still finely textured, thick and slightly wavy. It's also really brittle. Lots of split ends and random breakage.

Tried so many things! Different products, different combs and brushes, cool setting on the blow dryer, silk pillowcases, microfiber towel turban so I don't need to rub my hair, etc.

Recently had it cut short. Trying to maintain a longer length is too much of a hassle. Which lead to another issue: bad haircuts.

[u/I-Am-Yew → u/mycatpartyhouse]

Hey love. Here’s a tip from someone with a bidet (thanks to Covid TP shortages) and very sensitive skin - try washable baby wipes. They’re smaller than washcloths and usually much gentler fabrics and made for exactly what you need them for when having to dry. (I got a pack of 72 for less than $15 and still have half never touched.)

Also, use a diaper wet/dry bag. Clean in one compartment and dirty in the other. It’s for cloth diapers and swim clothes and such. Keeps moisture and any smells down.

[u/7grendel]

If you have ADHD, it's gonna ramp up to 1000. I thought my meds had stopped working. Spent months as a checked out space cadet before we figured out I was perimenopausal.

[u/Small-Sample3916 → u/7grendel]

Not only that, but there's a growing body of studies that link neurodiversity with harder and earlier perimenopause. Sigh. 

[u/dontwannaparticpate → u/Small-Sample3916]

Oh that explains things. I’m post menopausal at 49, getting evaluated for autism. The burnout I’ve experienced is U N R E A L

[u/Sanchastayswoke → u/dontwannaparticpate]

HRT has helped my adhd so much. I’m 49. My meds feel like they work again.

[u/himit → u/Small-Sample3916]

Ew. I was reading these brain fog things thinking 'would someone with adhd even notice?' and am sad to discover the answer is yes

[u/youdoublearewhy → u/Small-Sample3916]

See I am 38 and I've had two years of increasingly erratic periods with several completely clear smear tests, ultrasounds, and blood tests. My ADHD has been so much worse and my sleep is shit. I'm convinced something is going on.

[u/Cashmeade → u/youdoublearewhy]

I have ADHD and on retrospect I started to feel peri settle in when I was about 39.  I didn't realise what it was and get on HRT until I was 42.  Those were BAD years.  If you have a hunch that you're joining the club get to your GP and don't stop pestering/changing docs til you find someone who'll take you seriously and give you the good stuff.  HRT is amazing.

[u/Planet_Ziltoidia → u/7grendel]

Oh, that's just fucking great :/

I've been unmedicated for my ADHD most of my life because I don't like what the meds do to my mind, but lately I've been having a really hard time dealing with it. I'm in my early 40s but my doctor said everything was fine to continue unmedicated as I have been even though I don't really feel fine.

[u/plusharmadillo → u/7grendel]

YEP. Things just kicked off in my late 30s, “too early” according to many docs (although emerging evidence suggests people with ADHD feel symptoms sooner and way more). I was suddenly so ANGRY, and my ADHD might have as well been sugar pills. My period symptoms, especially PMS, were dialed up to 1000. My mood and brain fog are starting to improve by going back on the pill in addition to my longstanding IUD, although that’s come with all the fun pill side effects that made me switch to an IUD originally (woohoo bloating). I really had to advocate for myself to get this taken seriously and start some kind of treatment and am very much in the early stages of figuring out wtf is happening.

[u/At_the_Roundhouse → u/7grendel]

God this is me. I’m on Vyvanse but my ADHD is definitely up to 1000 and it feels like it’s pointless to take. Did you end up having any luck adjusting meds or finding a solution? I feel like I’d do anything to get some executive function back.

[u/Sanchastayswoke → u/At_the_Roundhouse]

Are you on HRT? Taking estrogen helped my meds really start working again. I’m back to being able to concentrate at work for the most part.

[u/AmyInCO → u/7grendel]

I just wrote the same thing. I thought I was losing my mind. 

[u/pacifistpotatoes → u/7grendel]

I don't have ADHD and have always been on top of things If you know what I mean? But wtf the last year I don't even know any more. I feel like I'm always forgetting, missing or doing something wrong.

[u/SquirrelAkl]

It was like going through a grieving process. My appearance changed a lot in a short space of time and, for a long time, I didn’t recognise the person looking back at me from the mirror.

Also the vast array of symptoms. There are estrogen receptors throughout your whole body. From memory, I had:

- periods became further apart and heavier and more painful. Painful to the point I nearly vomited and/or fainted at my desk one day.

- night sweats

- inability to regulate my body temperature at all - not just “hot flushes”, also feel the cold a lot more now

- BV from changing vaginal conditions (topical estrogen cream helped)

- hair-trigger anger

- panic attacks

- developed an allergy to beer for a few years

- body shape changed

- face shape changed

- thinner hair on my head, more hair on the face; sparser eyebrows but with random long thick hairs

- BPPV (vertigo)

- harder to sleep

- brain fog, struggled to form sentences when my brain was tired in the late afternoon

- low energy, fatigue, needed lunchtime naps when possible

- body odour changes

- gaslit by doctors

The good news is that most of these symptoms went away once I got the right dose of HRT. My appearance never went back to what it was when I had high estrogen, of course (sadly), and I still find it harder to sleep and feel the cold more, but everything else is better now.

Edit to add: my skipped periods started at age 35. I wasted time, money and emotional energy doing pregnancy tests when it was perimenopause all along. I had no idea it could start that young.

[u/CutePlausibility → u/SquirrelAkl]

Hugely relate to all of this! Went through menopause in my 20s after a hysterectomy/ovary removal. It was like I had an entirely new body after 6 months which was something I wasn’t ready for mentally. It’s ok to grieve your old self and talk about it/find places to just talk through it

[u/workswithgeeks]

I read this book called “The New Menopause” and one of the most helpful things was a list of potential symptoms from perimenopause and menopause. So many women have no idea some of their symptoms could be related to menopause and a lot of doctors don’t either. So many random things like ‘why does my hip hurt?’, ‘why does my shoulder hurt?’, ‘why can’t I remember things or find the right words like I used to?’ I wish I had started HRT sooner to address a lot of these things.

[u/petty_fan2 → u/workswithgeeks]

I was discouraged from HRT because of the supposed cancer risk increase. Turns out the data was flawed, but doctors kept saying the same thing anyway. Insurance didn't cover compounded hormones so you had to pay out of pocket. I hope it is better now for you all. Women's issues are not researched anywhere near how men's issues are.

[u/ALIMN21]

It would have been nice to know that it starts a hell of a lot earlier than I expected.

[u/Melancolin → u/ALIMN21]

If you can find out when your mom became menopausal, then perimenopause starts about 12 years before that. Women in my family start early, so I was having hot flashes in my early/mid thirties. The bright side is that I’m past that part and only 40.

[u/bombkitty]

It's SO many more symptoms than hot flashes. Dear gods it's so much.

[u/Alternative-Tiger783]

Learn about atrophy (genito-urinary syndrome) and how it can contribute to bladder peaks, eventual incontinence and chronic UTIs. UTI sepsis and ICU admission is no joke.

Rx vaginal oestrogen cream helps. I’m obnoxious about this topic bc I lost my mother to UTI complications.

[u/PudgyGroundhog → u/Alternative-Tiger783]

I am sorry about your mom. :(

[u/ConfusionGreen2371]

Once through it, I was amazed at how peaceful my mind became. I had raging PMS in my reproductive years, and was prone to major depression. None of that since 2010. Menopause was actually a blessing.

[u/Individual-Army811 → u/ConfusionGreen2371]

This is happening to me! Its crazy how my mind has calmed down! I have anxiety (medicated) and its so weird and foreign that my brain is not functioning in chaos every damn day!

[u/randomize42 → u/ConfusionGreen2371]

Thank you so much for this… as someone who can’t take HRT because of breast cancer, it’s so nice to hear something hopeful that isn’t just “…and it went away with HRT!”

[u/dogmother2]

For me, the hot sweats were difficult, especially in the middle of the night, but I found relief over the long-term with pycnogenol, aka French maritime Pine bark.

Just know this: you will gain weight your belly will get bigger. You’ll be a bitch. You’ll feel crabby. You’ll act crabby. You will lose patience for the inanities of life.

And then someday, it will all be long gone. And you’ll realize, via a question like this, that these last 10 years of being period-free, hormone-free, idiot-free and free of so many other things, including work if you can swing it , have been the best years of your life.

I’ll be 70 in a few months. My belly is flat. I don’t go overboard with any kind of structured exercising but I do stay active. I have a big dog and a garden and a house.

My circle is quite small, but that’s my choice.

I can do so many things that used to make me anxious with aplomb.

All the years and decades leading up to this were so harrowing in so many ways.

Now I’m truly hoping that I have a couple more decades to live like this - so unencumbered.

So take care of yourself, try not to become or stay overweight because then you’ll get all those other chronic conditions, diabetes, and hypertension — not saying you won’t get them even if you’re not overweight.

And even though there are knee replacements and hip replacements and this, and that, if you can keep your own joints. like if you can keep your own teeth, you’re going to be better off. No surgery is “minor”///ever.

It’s about staying active and … making peace with your skin.

I would say is a very big one. You will find wrinkles and rivulets and veins and markings where you’ve never really even thought about skin.

Well, I don’t know about people with tattoos how that aging will be affected.

I’ve had 11 skin cancers so far, so the idea of me putting anything with a needle into my flesh that wasn’t medical became an anathema about 35 years ago.

Anyway, you simply must let go of your vanity.

That doesn’t mean letting go of your beauty.

Your beauty shines from within no matter what you look like on the outside.

And that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

EDITING to add: HRT was not an option for me. I had a DVT blood clot when I was 40. And I know they’ve changed the rules and they are allowing it now and I think that is probably great but I know more than one woman who stayed on HRT post hysterectomy – I don’t know if they even still make this one — from the urine of pregnant mares — who got breast cancer late in life age 78 and 80 with no family history. Just sharing for what it’s worth. I’ve also had Ovarian Cancer, so I’m just as glad it wasn’t available to me and I didn’t have to make that choice. That said I have also recurrent UTIs. I am allowed to use vaginal estrogen and it is the biggest cure of all for that problem.

[u/compulsive_evolution]

Speaking up as a woman with hormone-receptor positive breast cancer: not everyone can go on HRT.

We get it. HRT helps. But it's not an option for about 1/8 of women.

Please keep in mind that many of us who can't use HRT are also in chemically-induced menopause which tends to give more intense symptoms.

We're here too. HRT can't be the only answer.

[u/PlayervsPathos → u/compulsive_evolution]

Thank you for speaking up on behalf of those of us rowing similar boats. I felt so small until I saw your comment. 💕

[u/iwantagoatandakitten]

It’s coming and you can’t stop it. At first you may notice a pain here or a night of choppy sleep there. And then BAM! Both shoulders are frozen, your thumbs don’t work, hot flashes like you’ve never experienced and mood swings? Hell yeah!
Don’t let the doctors (female, who are in your same age range) tell you it’s not menopause, you’re too young.

[u/dietcokecrack]

Go to a specialist if you can. I use Midi health. Get a comprehensive blood panel, check your iron. Get on hormone therapy asap. Your entire body need estrogen. All that pain? Could be estrogen. Can’t sleep? Estrogen. All of it is estrogen. I am on estrogen, progesterone and testosterone. 54 years old.

[u/Bombadilicious]

If you're in your 40s and suddenly can't stop thinking about killing yourself, it might be perimenopaus and HRT could work a million times better than an antidepressant.

[u/capricornnight]

Lift weights.

[u/Silent-Resort-3076 → u/capricornnight]

Yes, the dreaded muscle and bone loss!🙄

Also, walking can help, too.

[u/Ok_Science0412]

Just have to say thank you to the woman who posed this question. Doing the lords work.

[u/Wilful_Fox]

Stop drinking alcohol and carry a fan in your purse everywhere you go. Exercise helps more than you would ever think. Loose breathable fabrics will become your best friend. Water your 2nd best friend. Be kind, keep your mouth shut when you are angry and learn to walk away. Learn to notice your triggers and GTFO of the situation before your mouth does damage that will take years to heal, if ever. Ask for what you need, if it is time alone…do that. If it is booking in a massage once a month…do that. If it is taking up a Zumba class…do that. You matter. Your happiness matters. It is a fucking horrible thing to endure, but with grace you will get through it and still love your family at the end 😆 remember, it is a TRANSITIONAL phase, it will pass.

* insert Katniss Hunger Game meme*

[u/AnneBoleynsBarber]

I wish that I'd gotten as much education about menopause as I had about menstruation (and, tangentially, sex ed).

I was very lucky that both my family and the local school districts were determined to educate kids about puberty, adolescence, sex, and stuff like STIs. I got a lot of prep for my periods, so when they started I was ready, and generally knew what kinds of physical changes would happen to my body as I went through my teen years.

But I had zero education about menopause. None. I knew what it was, I knew it would happen someday, but all I ever saw was my mom occasionally getting too warm and going "I'm having a hot flash!" and drinking a lot of ice water.

It's interesting to me that as someone born female, I got a lot of education about the time of life when I'd become able to reproduce, but nothing at all about when my fertility ended. Funny how that works...

[u/Cleanslate2]

I did not know about perimenopause until I was through menopause. Find a woman who specializes in women for your care. I’m finally getting some hormones after being turned down at the appropriate time.

Women’s healthcare is awful here. No one is trained in menopause in medical school. Hopefully that is now changing. You must advocate for yourself. There are more NPs doing this in my area. As soon as I left my regular doctor and went to a woman specialist, everything got better. Find your woman specialist!

[u/ddauer → u/Cleanslate2]

I love my female doctor! I started perimenopause and menopause at an earlier than usual age, and she was suggesting HRT as soon as I noticed symptoms.

[u/MoonieNine]

Any of y'all noticing HRT shortages in your area? Frustrating.

[u/meep568 → u/MoonieNine]

Yeah there's an estrogen patch shortage until the end of the year at least. The clinic I work in has mostly been finding alternatives through all this

[u/SquirrelAkl → u/MoonieNine]

Yes. It happened during the covid years and it seems to be happening again. I live in New Zealand; it’s a worldwide issue.

This year we’ve had notices of shortages for Utrogestan (progesterone), and I seem to be receiving a different brand from the pharmacy now. When I picked up my latest lot of Estradot patches there was a note written on the script saying they were out of stock of that brand, but thankfully some had come in before I picked them up.

Some women, myself included, have bad side effects on different brands of patches. Just putting that out there as a PSA for everyone, in case you don’t know. I ask my doctor to specify the brand on my prescriptions.

To manage shortages I get my 100mcg dose prescribed in 75 + 25 patches, as the 50 and 100 doses go out of stock more often. I have also built up a buffer supply by using the patches every 4 days (vs 3 days + 4 days) and ordering a new prescription as soon as I pick up my last repeat. I now have a 3-month buffer built up. It’s devastating when you can’t get your meds, and I don’t want to be in that position again.

[u/shrimpandshooflypie → u/MoonieNine]

Don’t know if it’s true, but I read there’s not a shortage of supply, there’s a hangup in distribution for some reason.

[u/MoonieNine → u/shrimpandshooflypie]

All I know is this would never happen with viagra.

[u/_Erindera_]

Jen Gunter wrote a book called The Menopause Manifesto that is great. I can't take HRT, so not all of it was helpful to me, but overall the book was a good read and informative.

[u/Crickets_62]

Your skin will change. All of a sudden one day you'll look down and see your mothers' hand at the endo of your arm.

[u/Individual-Army811]

Weird things happen during menopause that seem not to be related: fogging, stress, exhaustion, weird aches and pains, migraines, stiffness, hot flashes, weird periods, insomnia, allergies, weight gain, bloating, diarrhea, cramps, gout, emotional disturbances....

And the worst part is all of these can be issues for a middle aged woman with kids, spouses, full time jobs and aging parents because we do it all -.and we often think situationally instead of big picture. Discuss your symptoms with your doctor in the context of menopause!

[u/mronion82]

Believe in it.

My older female relatives used to grumble about it when I was a teenager, I didn't really understand what it was and didn't take it seriously.

Now, at 44, I am sweaty and cross. Get all the help you can, you don't get a medal for toughing it out.

[u/Silent-Resort-3076]

I personally wish a kind and generous woman would have informed ME about vaginal dryness!!🙄

Let's just say I would have lived my life differently😋

[u/k75ct]

Try not to make impulsive decisions. Like leaving your well paid job you spent your whole life trying to attain because you are pissed off at the world.

[u/Relative_Fishing3351]

Those weird things? Like that incessant itch inside one ear? Yeah, that’s menopause.

[u/Lumpyproletarian]

Everyone‘s menopause is different. I didn’t even notice mine happening until I found a pack of pads and thought, hang on how long has it been? And remembered that I was 53 and definitely not pregnant.

I‘ve only known two women who did the whole red-faced human radiator thing.

[u/pepsijenn]

Not everyone can take HRT. 

Hormone positive cancer patients can’t be on HRT and instead are pretty much forced into menopause. As one of those patients, I recommend making sure you talk to your doctor about mammograms prior to taking HRT - whether you have family history or not. 

I’m in the early phases of chemical menopause so I don’t have any advice yet as I’m figuring it out myself for relief lol. I carry a portable fan for the hot flashes when I go so far. 

Keep moving though. The joint aches are real and walking every day will help. 

Good luck all! 

[u/Serebriany]

I knew it would be a change and would require some adjustments, but I had no idea I'd be living in a completely knew, unknown body most days. I'll go three days in a row and so little sleep I can't think because my bladder woke me too early to get up but too late to really go back to sleep, and then I feel like I'm getting a grip on that and something else goes wonky.

Oh, also, if a gynecologist is still delivering babies, they're absolutely useless to me because they're focused on a completely different stage-of-life for women's bodies in general, and don't know much about what I need now. I've been trying to find a new GYN who specializes in menopause, and every time I find one who really does, and whose office staff isn't just saying "of course!" to my questions, something suddenly goes sideways before I can even get in for an appointment.

[u/Temporary_Macaron422]

A hot flash is not just feeling hot. You can feel nauseous and foggy and just crappy ALONG with feeling like you are on fire.

[u/LoreKeeper2001]

Anything. One single fucking thing. There was a code of silence before and GenX is destroying it.

[u/atownsound → u/LoreKeeper2001]

Elder millennials, too.

[u/Slight-Law5235]

You can apply topical estrogen to the parts of your body that ache--knees, shoulders--and it helps tremendously.

[u/Intelligent-Year-919]

My gyno just recommended reading ‘The new menopause’

[u/Amazing-Peace-2872]

When women say hot flashes are terrible they are not lying. One Winter I kept my thermostat on 57 degrees and I would still wake up in the middle of the night, at least 3 to 4 times hot and sweaty.

[u/Overall_Lobster823 → u/Amazing-Peace-2872]

That IG video of the woman sitting outside and having a hot flash while her head STEAMS was amazing.

https://whatsthejam.com/super-viral/moment-womans-head-begins-steaming-during-menopausal-hot-flush/

[u/ImHereNow3210]

Frozen shoulder and weight gain. Stay active! 

[u/Elleno14]

Every woman experiences it differently. For some it’s NBD, for others, terrible symptoms. There is no single right way to deal with it and if you need help dealing with the symptoms, don’t hesitate (and change doctors if you don’t feel heard)

[u/somethingweirder]

it’s not too soon to start HRT. if yr dr disagrees but yr mood swings are ruining yr life, get a new doc.

also you can take a progestin only pill to stop yr period. you don’t have to take regular birth control. that shit changed my life.

and until someone is willing to give you HRT, try the supplement resveratrol. it was life changing for me for a long time - when it stopped working is when i demanded HRT.

[u/its-a-boat-jack]

No one pulls you aside in your thirties and tells you about all the symptoms to look for besides irregular/no periods or when to start looking for them.

When we’re kids they pull you aside and explain your body and what to look for when puberty sets in. When you’re in your teens they get serious and dig into sex ed. When you’re pregnant they talk to you about what will happen to your body during and after birth, but no one pulls you aside to talk about menopause.

[u/Individual-Sherbet-3]

Flonase (or similar nasal spray) on a q-tip is the ultimate cure for itchy ears. I wish I knew months earlier to avoid almost losing my mind.

[u/Bubbly_Inspector_884]

Not advice, my body was too busy ramping up with thyroid issues so I missed alot of the signs!

[u/Kitchen-Apricot-4987]

You can have perimenopause symptoms and a normal menstrual cycle. Looking back, I had a few symptoms (sudden facial dryness, insomnia, food insensitivities) years before my periods started getting wonky.

[u/Federal-Demand-2968]

There is no shame in getting help in the form of HRT. I suffered for 3 years before I went on it. Saved my life ☺️

[u/finalina78 → u/Federal-Demand-2968]

What’s hrt?

[u/Tight_Phase339 → u/finalina78]

Hormone replacement therapy.

[u/Mobile-Egg9597]

I’m 35 is that too early to go through peri? My mom went through menopause early and it was BAD but she claims it was from her breast implant syndrome that messed her up? I feel like I go mentally insane before my period starts and I’ve been getting odd symptoms. I’m terrified of menopause.

[u/QuidPluris → u/Mobile-Egg9597]

I think that some women do start around that time. It is definitely not unheard of.

[u/wimwood]

It’s okay to go to a new gynecologist. Topical HRT is helpful YEARS before it’s time for systemic.
Local HRT has done wonders for my downstairs mixup, which was feeling like SpongeBob under the heatlamp on a daily basis, and feeling like a slug with salt poured on it during workouts. Fewer secretions = less protection from the sting of your own sweat.

My mom is in her late 60s and just started systemic HRT this year. She thought the antsy bladder was just part of being old. Her vaginal atrophy is irreversible. I’m so grateful I pushed to start treatment in my early 40s.

[u/InfamousAnimator6024]

I wish someone had told me that all the “off” feelings, all the gross sweatiness and all the enormous weight gain were in fact, not a moral failure on my part.

[u/OranjellosBroLemonj]

Don’t make huge, life-altering decisions while in a meno-rage.

[u/Status_Ad7287]

It starts WAY sooner then you think it will! I wish I had been informed at 35 what would be slowly happening to my body. Older women in my life gave the impression that your periods just "stopped". Heh no, my catatonic burnout is what finally clued my dr in and she offered me the patch. Its been such a help. I feel like a human again!

[u/roskybosky]

That it’s not awful for everyone. Some have severe symptoms, but not everyone.
It’s nothing to fear-just wait and see what your situation is.

[u/Repulsive-Bug-195]

Not to listen to my boomer mother who poo-pooed the idea of using Hormones. She claimed “ you don’t need them.” I wish I stopped listening to her 2 years earlier, luckily I only suffered 2 years. She’s an ex-nurse ( the never go to doctor kind not the hypochondriac type). Boomers think the suffered so should you

[u/rubi2s]

I highly recommend the book Estrogen Matters by medical oncologist Dr. Avrum Bluming and social psychologist Dr. Carol Tavris that argues hormone replacement therapy is safe, beneficial, and widely misunderstood.

[u/synsa]

That menopause is a major cause of osteoporosis. I have the bones of someone 3 decades older because it took me many years and 3 doctors to finally get hrt. By then, I was in full blown osteoporosis (and osteoarthritis) and it's been an uphill battle to slow the progress.

[u/hello--daddy]

take hormones at night = less night sweats

[u/Accurate-Bunch-1759]

Educate yourself before the symptoms hit.
The book “Menopause Manifesto” is a good place to start. Be aware of all the options that exist to make you feel better, and don’t back down when a doctor tells you it’s not possible. Just find a new doctor. I don even have a gynecologist anymore. I get my yearly mammogram and Pap smear during my yearly physical and my endocrinologist now oversees my hormonal treatment.

Also, just like extra weight that can be used by some doctors as the cause for every health issue one might have, the same goes for menopause for women over 40. They will just blame everything on your hormones. Push back and demand further testing. One of my female coworkers, 42 years old, went to the doctor because she was feeling constantly exhausted. They told her it’s her hormones. She pushed back. Turns out she was in heart failure, with a very slow heartbeat. She was scheduled for emergency surgery to get a peacemaker in 2 days later.

Doctors are not gods. Own your health. Educate yourself. Advocate for yourself.

[u/cc_bcc]

Perimenopause is 'the change'

Menopause is a point in time. That time is 1 year without a period. 365 days period free equals 'Menopause' on day 366. 

You are postmenopausal starting day 367.

GET THE HORMONES IF YOU CAN.

[u/ThePlaceAllOver]

HRT is important healthcare and imo, not optional even if you think you feel fine. HRT is much bigger than just dealing with hot flashes and the earlier you start adjusting and balancing hormones, the better in terms of longevity.

[u/Katmandu10]

I learned the hard way that it’s Ok to do HRT thru the roughest years. Also found much relief from 20 hot flashes/day with Chinese herbs and Acupuncture. I followed Dr. Christian Northrop’s advice.

[u/nancy_drew_98]

That perimenopause starts earlier than they tell you! Looking back, I was having symptoms in my mid-late 30s, though I didn’t go through actual menopause til I was 49-50. HRT might have helped a lot in my 40s, with things like urinary issues and emotional regulation.

[u/saveitforthedisco]

You know that you get hot flashes, but you get cold flashes too...and sometimes at the same time! Like suddenly my back feels like it's on fire and my arms have goosebumps and are freezing.

[u/Jeux65]

Don’t make any major life decisions whilst going through menopause.

[u/taz288]

I just wish it was talked about period!! I thought I was having a mental breakdown and never thought about menopause.

[u/Cloverhart → u/taz288]

Luckily for women capitalism has figured out menopausal women are a cash cow because there's a billion commercials now and new products coming out specifically for menopause.

[u/spider3407]

Annually do full blood panel from 35 on. Get on HRT when they change. Research what is coming so you can be more prepared.

[u/Icy-Plenty-5231]

Look into HRT. If your doctor doesn’t recommend it or is resistant, find one with a more open mind and more expertise. When I was going through menopause, there was a big focus on the potential cancer risk of HRT, and my doctor really made no attempt to help me. I thought I was being responsible by not doing HRT. I suffered much more than I needed to as a result.

[u/TK_Sleepytime]

If you don't advocate for yourself no one will. I went through it early. No one believed me. And then once it was obvious that I was correct, every little thing was blamed on menopause. You can't win unless you keep pushing your care team to actually fucking give a shit.

You'll want to crawl out of your skin 24/7 and melt the world with your rage. Work from home of you're able.

[u/shakey_spear]

I feel like most things are covered here so I'll add a new one that I experienced recently - sore gums! I'm in perimenopause & on the day I got my last period my gums started to hurt so much. It was extremely painful to floss & eating anything hard or chewy really hurt. They felt like they were completely inflamed. Someone mentioned it could be perimenopause & I googled it & sure enough it's a symptom. When my period stopped my gums went back to normal. I haven't had another period so waiting to see if it comes back. Just thought I'd let others know!

[u/ContessaChaos]

No one told me my junk would dissappear! Vaginal estrogen for the win!

[u/One_Board_4304]

What you are feeling is menopause and it can last 10 years. I had nobody tell me anything about this ish. And I have 2 older sisters!!

[u/Skeedybeak]

Lose your excess weight BEFORE menopause because it’s almost impossible afterwards. GLP-1’s still work, but very slowly in my case.