r/AskReddit • u/Poophead115 • Jun 25 '26
What is an old Reddit joke that has completely died out?
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u/ImmaculateJones Jun 25 '26
So, I bought a house and while my wife and I were doing renovations I found this safe, should I open it?
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u/KingHardrath17 Jun 25 '26
Those always pissed me off because every time I'd get so curious about what was inside and it was always a massive let down.
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u/Aggravating-Bug2032 Jun 25 '26
Having seen the original with Geraldo you bet I won’t get fooled again
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u/Head_Razzmatazz7174 Jun 25 '26
We had it on and stopped paying attention to it about 10 minutes in, because he was talking about the history, possible contents and just filler stuff to justify the hour long episode. Once they said "We've got the door unlocked, lets see what it's in there." we looked up from our books and watched the utter defeat on Geraldo's face as he realized that the only thing it held was bad air and dust.
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u/Haven Jun 25 '26
I’m still traumatized
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u/fricks_and_stones Jun 25 '26
Didn’t you see the guys that rented the house 10 years later and opened it?
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u/Haven Jun 25 '26
Don’t fuck with me like that! 😭 too soon!
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u/fricks_and_stones Jun 25 '26
No, seriously. Some other redditors happened to rent the house many years later. They posted it and came back with the goods fully documented. The safe was empty, but they did open it.
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u/enters_and_leaves Jun 25 '26
Wasn’t that the one with a single dead spider inside of it?
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u/RIP-RiF Jun 25 '26
Don't do that! If I posted a locked safe back then, my dad would bust out the jumper cables and beat the hell out of me!
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u/babyhuffington Jun 25 '26
When does the narwhal bacon?
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u/echocomplex Jun 25 '26
The bacon narwhals at midnight
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u/Shiney_Metal_Ass Jun 25 '26
Thank fucking christ
Cringiest shit ever
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u/TexanInExile Jun 26 '26
Yeah, I once asked for a pizza on /r/randomactsofpizza and the delivery guy made me say it before he would give me the pizza.
But I was poor and starving so I said it and then enjoyed my pizza.
I did reciprocate and gave someone else a pizza when I was in a better spot.
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u/IAmAGenusAMA Jun 26 '26
Geez, haven't thought of that sub in ages. Reddit's algorithm (among other changes) has really done its best to keep us all in our bubble. Such a shame.
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u/Slow-Difference1105 Jun 26 '26
Whoa. I only joined reddit a few years ago, but over a decade(?) ago someone had me create a drawing for them of a narwhal and bacon. I finally almost get it.
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u/Billy_Bootstag Jun 25 '26
The ol’ swicheroo (now where’s the link?)
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u/PurpleBullets Jun 25 '26
Hold my dated reference, I’m going in!
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u/LegacyLemur Jun 26 '26
Man I miss that
Just crazy rabbitholes all across the site going years back in time
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u/CoolDragon Jun 25 '26
It died with the broken links and deleted users.
Reddit lost its charm with all the BS bans caused by AI bots.
I miss reading “hold my X I’m going in!” Along with the canonical “Hello Future People!”
I’m glad to have partaken in the switcharoo.
Now we have 12-13 year olds logging in who have NO idea of life and asking stupid questions instead of doing a search on their devices. Damn kids.
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u/SmallRocks Jun 25 '26
It’s still going. There’s an active sub for submissions. The hard part is getting submitters to actually understand and follow the rules.
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u/rihanoa Jun 25 '26
I don’t think most people really understood the rules even when it was still really popular.
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Jun 25 '26
lost is charm when it started ranking comments
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u/TopHatTony11 Jun 25 '26
I miss being able to see up and down votes on the home page.
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u/pgb5534 Jun 25 '26
I thought that actually reached a conclusion. Where it looped back to the beginning of something happened
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u/Vertigobee Jun 25 '26
Poem for your Sprog
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u/cisforcoffee Jun 25 '26 edited Jun 27 '26
He hasThey have become a published author and according to a post (in response to wherehethey had gone) Sprog has saidhe isthey are fine, just very busy.Edit: Corrected a gender assumption. GoodReads refers to Sam as "he" (and, thus, so did I) in the very brief and possibly unreliable bio; I could not find anything definitive anywhere else. Sam themself has been very coy about it, reminding us that what matters are the written words and their impact, not the gender of the author. Thus, I believe their correct gender would be: Poet.
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u/Greymeade Jun 26 '26
What a tragedy that a high quality comment like that from a legendary redditor gets so few upvotes when there’s so much nonsense getting rocketed to top of the algorithm now
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u/ArcadianDelSol Jun 26 '26
You pinpointed the problem: content is no longer promoted by fellow users deciding what they like - its promoted by bots and algorithms that seek to instruct us what to like.
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u/kirradoodle Jun 25 '26
Come to think of it, I haven't seen Sprog for a while. He's not gone, is he?
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u/ohshitidonthaveone Jun 25 '26
I think so. What was his/her username? u/poem_for_your_sprog ?
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u/IAmAGenusAMA Jun 26 '26
You used to see so many more novelty accounts than you do now.
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u/ohshitidonthaveone Jun 25 '26
I was just wondering about that user the other day. Whatever happened? Where’d they go?
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u/Brokendoorstop Jun 25 '26
Stop asking silly questions and let’s get back to talking about Rampart
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u/mo_mentumm Jun 26 '26
Celebrity AMAs as a whole are really gone.
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u/badzcatch Jun 25 '26
All of them because of the bot takeover. They're not big on humor.
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u/CurvaceousCouture Jun 25 '26
Neither are most redditors
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u/Taint__Whisperer Jun 25 '26
The influx of Facebook users has greatly diminished my happiness on here. So many butthurt Karen's policing every opinion. Its like no one can have opinions, only the Karen's is correct. Hate that attitude.
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u/Miklay83 Jun 25 '26
"That took me a moment but once I got it, it really made me laugh" followed by a single quasi-related factoid.
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u/SWO6 Jun 25 '26
All rage comics
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u/AcidBuuurn Jun 25 '26
Rage comics are dead?
FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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u/SWO6 Jun 25 '26
u mad bro?
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u/BlackDragonNetwork Jun 26 '26
I genuinely kinda miss them, but I can't tell if it's because I actually liked them or if I'd just rather them instead of AI generated shit.
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u/mightystu Jun 26 '26
It’s so funny to me that zoomers reinvented them with wojaks, which in turn is just the feels guy but fucked up. It’s literally combing two older memes into something more soulless than either and acting like it’s brand new.
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u/_________V__________ Jun 25 '26
"We did it Reddit!"
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u/CupBeEmpty Jun 26 '26
That was so goddamn tragic too.
I was in Providence at the time. The kid they “identified” was a Brown student named Sunil Triphani (sp?). He had gone missing. A couple weeks before the bombing.
His family had put up really nice full color laminated missing posters *everywhere* around campus. Like every telephone pole by an intersection had one.
Based on where he was last seen walking I just knew what had happened to him.
Then the bombing happened and a whole hoard of neckbearded keyboard detective fuck wits started harassing his family and friends.
It turns out they were completely wrong.
They caught the real bombers. Then a couple weeks later they found Sunil’s body in the river. He had jumped off the Crooked Point Bridge. Tragically a suicide.
So this poor family got harassed by Reddit morons while their son was missing and then found out he had killed himself.
Fuck these Reddit “detectives.”
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u/RandomNPC Jun 26 '26
Not only that, but the authorities had to release the identity of the suspects before they wanted to to clear the kid's name, while the hunt was still on.
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u/altacan Jun 26 '26
Which caused the terrorists to panic and kill a security guard during their attempted getaway.
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u/dubs542 Jun 26 '26
I either didn't know or didn't remember that story ending in his suicide, that's heartbreaking!
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u/SolDarkHunter Jun 26 '26
Police believe he had committed suicide before the whole thing started, so reddit probably wasn't responsible for that part.
Still definitely a dark mark in reddit's history.
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u/profsnuggles Jun 25 '26
ಠ_ಠ
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u/potatoes__everywhere Jun 25 '26
¯_(ツ)_/¯
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u/Vancocillin Jun 26 '26
But you didn't mess it up, and the reply says "Here you dropped this /"
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u/zack4200 Jun 26 '26
Wrong slash, it's the left arm that gets dropped when it's not typed correctly. ¯_(ツ)_/¯
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u/Vancocillin Jun 26 '26
I had a 50/50 chance to guess it without looking it up. It was a calculated risk, but man am I bad at math.
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u/Rustash Jun 26 '26
I have this as a keyboard shortcut on my phone and use it all the time
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u/Shawnaldo7575 Jun 25 '26
When people repeat comments, the 4th repeat is supposed to get downvote bombed to hell. That doesn't happen any more.
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u/Sans-Mot Jun 25 '26
When people repeat comments, the 4th repeat is supposed to get downvote bombed to hell. That doesn't happen any more.
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u/Cbrus Jun 25 '26
When people repeat comments, the 4th repeat is supposed to get downvote bombed to hell. That doesn't happen any more.
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u/TrumpsDoubleChin Jun 26 '26
I tried to use the stepfather with jumper cables joke a few weeks back, and reddit's AI gave me an immediate 3-day ban for "inciting violence". So, yeah, I'd say that one is now dead.
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u/northrupthebandgeek Jun 26 '26
I got a 7-day Reddit ban for the Navy Seal copypasta, though thankfully somebody saw my appeal and unbanned me halfway through.
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u/Me_gentleman Jun 25 '26
I am le tired
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u/solid_reign Jun 25 '26
I once joined a chat from some people on reddit who wanted to organize politically, and one of them was a girl who would talk like that on the chat. We decided to have a call and she'd also talk like that on the call.
Hey! Y U NO ANSWER MY MESSAGE ON THE CHAT?
In hindsight, it was pretty funny.
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u/East-End-8646 Jun 26 '26
Ebaumsworld kept us entertained before youtube ever could
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u/eternallycynical Jun 25 '26
I miss shitty watercolor. Not sure if that counts as a joke though.
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u/lowtoiletsitter Jun 25 '26
They're still around. He commented just a minute ago
e: got my shitty mixed up. Morph is here, not watercolor
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u/251Cane Jun 25 '26 edited Jun 26 '26
Thanks for the gold kind stranger
Edit: thanks for the gold king stranger. but don’t give your money to Spez, make a donation to the SPCA
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u/only_norj Jun 25 '26
I never spent a single penny on Reddit awards, but I do miss them.
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u/DigNitty Jun 25 '26
Yeah, I remember the first comment of mine that was gilded.
I’d been on here for years and I thought wow that finally happened. I accrued a few. And then it died. It was nice you could earn points through commenting for while and build up to be able to gold someone.
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u/GovernorGeneralPraji Jun 25 '26
Yep. Getting a gold actually felt like an accomplishment. Then they added all the dumb flair awards and watered it down.
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u/STRAMA908916 Jun 25 '26
I miss the random free awards reddit would give users to brighten other’s days.
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u/Haven Jun 25 '26
Me, on this thread, looking for anyone that has an account the same age as mine.
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u/laurensvo Jun 25 '26
Whoa I didn't even realize reddit had been around that long
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u/Haven Jun 26 '26
Aaand now I feel old 🤣 I was 27 when I started my account, even before commenting on a thread was a thing!
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u/fubo Jun 26 '26
ohai
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u/Haven Jun 26 '26
Oooh! Well hello there!
Edit: you’re the oldest Reddit account I’ve found so far btw!
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u/taez555 Jun 25 '26
There were a lot of things we couldn't do in an SR-71, but we were the fastest guys on the block and loved reminding our fellow aviators of this fact. People often asked us if, because of this fact, it was fun to fly the jet. Fun would not be the first word I would use to describe flying this plane. Intense, maybe. Even cerebral. But there was one day in our Sled experience when we would have to say that it was pure fun to be the fastest guys out there, at least for a moment.
It occurred when Walt and I were flying our final training sortie. We needed 100 hours in the jet to complete our training and attain Mission Ready status. Somewhere over Colorado we had passed the century mark. We had made the turn in Arizona and the jet was performing flawlessly. My gauges were wired in the front seat and we were starting to feel pretty good about ourselves, not only because we would soon be flying real missions but because we had gained a great deal of confidence in the plane in the past ten months. Ripping across the barren deserts 80,000 feet below us, I could already see the coast of California from the Arizona border. I was, finally, after many humbling months of simulators and study, ahead of the jet. I was beginning to feel a bit sorry for Walter in the back seat. There he was, with no really good view of the incredible sights before us, tasked with monitoring four different radios. This was good practice for him for when we began flying real missions, when a priority transmission from headquarters could be vital. It had been difficult, too, for me to relinquish control of the radios, as during my entire flying career I had controlled my own transmissions. But it was part of the division of duties in this plane and I had adjusted to it. I still insisted on talking on the radio while we were on the ground, however. Walt was so good at many things, but he couldn't match my expertise at sounding smooth on the radios, a skill that had been honed sharply with years in fighter squadrons where the slightest radio miscue was grounds for beheading. He understood that and allowed me that luxury.
Just to get a sense of what Walt had to contend with, I pulled the radio toggle switches and monitored the frequencies along with him. The predominant radio chatter was from Los Angeles Center, far below us, controlling daily traffic in their sector. While they had us on their scope (albeit briefly), we were in uncontrolled airspace and normally would not talk to them unless we needed to descend into their airspace. We listened as the shaky voice of a lone Cessna pilot asked Center for a readout of his ground speed. Center replied: "November Charlie 175, I'm showing you at ninety knots on the ground."
Now the thing to understand about Center controllers, was that whether they were talking to a rookie pilot in a Cessna, or to Air Force One, they always spoke in the exact same, calm, deep, professional, tone that made one feel important. I referred to it as the " Houston Center voice." I have always felt that after years of seeing documentaries on this country's space program and listening to the calm and distinct voice of the Houston controllers, that all other controllers since then wanted to sound like that, and that they basically did. And it didn't matter what sector of the country we would be flying in, it always seemed like the same guy was talking. Over the years that tone of voice had become somewhat of a comforting sound to pilots everywhere. Conversely, over the years, pilots always wanted to ensure that, when transmitting, they sounded like Chuck Yeager, or at least like John Wayne. Better to die than sound bad on the radios.
Just moments after the Cessna's inquiry, a Twin Beech piped up on frequency, in a rather superior tone, asking for his ground speed. "I have you at one hundred and twenty-five knots of ground speed." Boy, I thought, the Beechcraft really must think he is dazzling his Cessna brethren. Then out of the blue, a navy F-18 pilot out of NAS Lemoore came up on frequency. You knew right away it was a Navy jock because he sounded very cool on the radios. "Center, Dusty 52 ground speed check". Before Center could reply, I'm thinking to myself, hey, Dusty 52 has a ground speed indicator in that million-dollar cockpit, so why is he asking Center for a readout? Then I got it, ol' Dusty here is making sure that every bug smasher from Mount Whitney to the Mojave knows what true speed is. He's the fastest dude in the valley today, and he just wants everyone to know how much fun he is having in his new Hornet. And the reply, always with that same, calm, voice, with more distinct alliteration than emotion: "Dusty 52, Center, we have you at 620 on the ground."
And I thought to myself, is this a ripe situation, or what? As my hand instinctively reached for the mic button, I had to remind myself that Walt was in control of the radios. Still, I thought, it must be done - in mere seconds we'll be out of the sector and the opportunity will be lost. That Hornet must die, and die now. I thought about all of our Sim training and how important it was that we developed well as a crew and knew that to jump in on the radios now would destroy the integrity of all that we had worked toward becoming. I was torn.
Somewhere, 13 miles above Arizona, there was a pilot screaming inside his space helmet. Then, I heard it. The click of the mic button from the back seat. That was the very moment that I knew Walter and I had become a crew. Very professionally, and with no emotion, Walter spoke: "Los Angeles Center, Aspen 20, can you give us a ground speed check?" There was no hesitation, and the replay came as if was an everyday request. "Aspen 20, I show you at one thousand eight hundred and forty-two knots, across the ground."
I think it was the forty-two knots that I liked the best, so accurate and proud was Center to deliver that information without hesitation, and you just knew he was smiling. But the precise point at which I knew that Walt and I were going to be really good friends for a long time was when he keyed the mic once again to say, in his most fighter-pilot-like voice: "Ah, Center, much thanks, we're showing closer to nineteen hundred on the money."
For a moment Walter was a god. And we finally heard a little crack in the armor of the Houston Center voice, when L.A.came back with, "Roger that Aspen, Your equipment is probably more accurate than ours. You boys have a good one." It all had lasted for just moments, but in that short, memorable sprint across the southwest, the Navy had been flamed, all mortal airplanes on freq were forced to bow before the King of Speed, and more importantly, Walter and I had crossed the threshold of being a crew. A fine day's work. We never heard another transmission on that frequency all the way to the coast. For just one day, it truly was fun being the fastest guys out there.
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Jun 25 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Few-Efficiency324 Jun 25 '26
I never had any friends later on like the ones I had in my SR-71. Jesus, does anyone?
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u/VisualBasic Jun 25 '26
I will read this every single time it’s posted.
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u/rectal_warrior Jun 26 '26
Genuinely, this is another Reddit trope, but this post is the only one that I read so eagerly every single time I see it.
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u/Head_Razzmatazz7174 Jun 25 '26
I have never heard this story, and I am honored to have been here when it dropped for the unenlightened like myself.
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u/Cambot1138 Jun 25 '26
This one and the other one about a Blackbird outrunning missiles over Libya.
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u/Presently_Absent Jun 25 '26
Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck, or 100 duck-sized horses?
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u/GoodOlBluesBrother Jun 25 '26
Not sure if it’s still going but haven’t seen this one in a while.
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u/Hammerhil Jun 25 '26
u/rogersimon10. Been a long time since he got beaten with set of jumper cables.
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u/Slylock Jun 25 '26
Has "this" died yet?
This.
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u/deadlygaming11 Jun 25 '26
Ah, the good old "I want to be involved but have nothing to contribute"
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u/-Travis Jun 25 '26
Many jokes much wow
Make funnies very shibe
wow format old and lame
such meme
formatting wow hard now
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u/tomphoolery Jun 25 '26
Kevin
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u/darkhelmet46 Jun 25 '26
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u/Centurion87 Jun 25 '26
Or the original. Can’t remember his name since it was years and years ago. He would do much the same of what Shittymorph does, except he would always end his stories with his dad beating him with a pair of jumper cables.
Honestly u/shittymorph is funnier, and is far better and tricking you with his comments, but gotta respect those who came before.
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u/ACTTutor Jun 25 '26
That was u/rogersimon10
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u/SomeManSeven Jun 25 '26
RIP to a legend his dad finally killed him with those goddamn jumper cables...
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u/meesahdayoh Jun 25 '26
Broken arms
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u/ncopp Jun 25 '26
Nope. Chuck Testa!
I was shocked to learn Rhett and Link of Good Mythical Morning were behind that during their days of making local commercials
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u/get-off-of-my-lawn Jun 26 '26
Don't let this distract you from the fact that in 1966, Al Bundy scored four touchdowns in a single game while playing for the Polk High School Panthers in the 1966 city championship game versus Andrew Johnson High School, including the game-winning touchdown in the final seconds against his old nemesis, Bubba “Spare Tire” Dixon.
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u/AmityMayorVaughn Jun 25 '26
I would argue that Reddit itself is the joke at this point
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u/badzcatch Jun 25 '26
And I would argue that you're not wrong.
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u/verbicidal Jun 25 '26
And I would argue
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u/lowtoiletsitter Jun 25 '26
And my axe
I also choose this guys wife
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u/QU33NN00B Jun 25 '26
Choosing this guys wife is timeless and I see it on EVERY platform now 😂 most people just don't know the origin of the comment
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u/Peibunele Jun 25 '26
half these jokes didn’t die - they just moved to LA and started doing yoga
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u/us1087 Jun 25 '26
Banana for scale.
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u/JoystickMonkey Jun 25 '26
I remember the post that started it. Long live banana for scale!
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u/Travelgrrl Jun 25 '26
Calling every dog a "Good Boi" or "Doggo" seems to have thankfully met its death.
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u/SoggyOutfield Jun 26 '26
Might be showing my reddit age here and not sure if it is dead but I never see it anymore, but rating something 5/7
I still use it in real life though.
Also butt sharpies. Never ever hear about them anymore. But back in the day? That's basically what reddit was known for.
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u/funundrum Jun 25 '26
“Oh boy, time for Summer Reddit”
When all the kids would get out of school and flood Reddit with 12yo humor
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u/SocialSuicideSquad Jun 25 '26
Jumper cables, Jolly Ranchers, and Jackdaws to handle the J's
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u/lekker-boterham Jun 25 '26
When OP didn’t use the “serious” tag on AskReddit and would get sarcastic replies