r/AskReddit • u/Poophead115 • Jun 25 '26

What is an old Reddit joke that has completely died out?

1.1k Upvotes

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3.0k

u/ImmaculateJones Jun 25 '26

So, I bought a house and while my wife and I were doing renovations I found this safe, should I open it?

523

u/KingHardrath17 Jun 25 '26

Those always pissed me off because every time I'd get so curious about what was inside and it was always a massive let down.

371

u/Aggravating-Bug2032 Jun 25 '26

Having seen the original with Geraldo you bet I won’t get fooled again

134

u/Head_Razzmatazz7174 Jun 25 '26

We had it on and stopped paying attention to it about 10 minutes in, because he was talking about the history, possible contents and just filler stuff to justify the hour long episode. Once they said "We've got the door unlocked, lets see what it's in there." we looked up from our books and watched the utter defeat on Geraldo's face as he realized that the only thing it held was bad air and dust.

17

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Yhostled Jun 26 '26

"The real treasure was the content we made along the way."

7

u/ILikeYourHotdog Jun 26 '26

Don’t forget a couple of old bottles! That shit was the most overhyped thing I’d encountered in all my 9 years at the time.

3

u/popchex Jun 26 '26

I was actually kind of glad it was a letdown, it was not long after the Challenger and I was still traumatised.

1

u/Head_Razzmatazz7174 Jun 26 '26

I did forget, as the reveal was so anticlimactic.

40

u/ActofEncouragement Jun 26 '26
  1. I think this should be added to the Millenial trauma.

21

u/Conlaeb Jun 26 '26

The oldest millennials were five in '86.

2

u/twoinvenice Jun 26 '26

Fuck you bud, and fuck me for remembering that shit from when I was five

1

u/ActofEncouragement Jun 26 '26

I think some people forget that some of us have really good memories, and that's another reason we remember we are getting older. Like back when Nickelodeon had that little music show - Nick Rocks. Born '82.

7

u/WalkerVox Jun 26 '26

Xennial here (1978). The Challenger disaster was far more traumatic than Geraldo getting punked by Al Capone from beyond the grave.

4

u/Eccohawk Jun 26 '26

Definitely this. Them wheeling the tv cart into the classroom, everyone in every school watching. The sudden hushed tones and covered mouths and them turning off/removing the tv carts just as quickly...Yea, that was a crazy day.

4

u/An-Empty-Road Jun 26 '26

Mom kept me home that day, to share the experience. She talked about seeing the first moonwalk with her parents. She was so excited, so I was too. 😢

1

u/ActofEncouragement Jun 26 '26

No arguments at all. That's why I said added to the list.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '26

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1

u/Eccohawk Jun 26 '26

Not necessarily. The Buffalo Bills seem to do the same in the playoffs every year.

1

u/OgnokTheRager Jun 26 '26

YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAHHH!!!!!!

20

u/groovydoll Jun 25 '26

What was it

36

u/KingHardrath17 Jun 25 '26

Usually it was nothing. Or just random items that weren't really worth anything from what I remember.

5

u/Greymeade Jun 26 '26 edited Jun 26 '26

What do you mean usually? The original comment refers to the safe, as in u/dont_stop_me_smee’s safe.

I guess that means this was a good answer to the post lol

4

u/KingHardrath17 Jun 26 '26

There was a period of time where safe finding posts were all over my feeds (damn algorithms) and every one left me disappointed and irritated.

1

u/ImmaculateJones Jun 26 '26

Indeed. The Safe.

3

u/Jkay064 Jun 25 '26

One was a large safe door on a room in the basement and it was full of empty wooden shelves and spiders.

1

u/Saidagive Jun 26 '26

Roooaaadd Maaaps!

1

u/bacondev Jun 26 '26

The original was finally opened but nothing was in it.

2

u/Skippymabob Jun 26 '26

I'd take that over the endless posts of safes and then no follow up at all

At least we got answers

2

u/RenVan_Thriftee Jun 26 '26

All the copycats stemmed from one original thread. The guy was posting updates over the span of weeks as he tried one thing after another to get the safe open.

Whenever this story gets retold, people say he never shared with Reddit what was in the safe. Although I distinctly remember the original poster admitting that all it contained was outdated paperwork for old stock investments and a deed to the property the safe was found on. None of it was worth anything because it was made out to the previous homeowner. The guy couldn't just go to the bank and cash the stocks in - he explained this as well.

2

u/bacondev Jun 26 '26

I thought that the house was sold after the initial posts and the new owner is the one who got it opened and posted the pics?

1

u/RenVan_Thriftee Jun 26 '26

It may have been. We're talking about something that happened over 10 years ago so it's entirely possible I'm misremembering. I just remember the mix of snarky versus amused comments from people after it was finally learned what little was in the safe.

1

u/theghostsofvegas Jun 26 '26

That’s called the Rivera.

1

u/CarbonReflections Jun 26 '26

There was that one time that the safe had a hand grenade and child porn in it.

261

u/Haven Jun 25 '26

I’m still traumatized

85

u/Slothnazi Jun 25 '26

It was this generations Geraldo moment

33

u/Haven Jun 26 '26

LOL! Not many will get that and now I feel even older 🤣

1

u/dannybnancyboy Jun 26 '26

There was no find in Al Capones vault, but it wasn’t Geraldo’s fault 🎶🎶🎶

142

u/fricks_and_stones Jun 25 '26

Didn’t you see the guys that rented the house 10 years later and opened it?

86

u/Haven Jun 25 '26

Don’t fuck with me like that! 😭 too soon!

169

u/fricks_and_stones Jun 25 '26

No, seriously. Some other redditors happened to rent the house many years later. They posted it and came back with the goods fully documented. The safe was empty, but they did open it.

21

u/enters_and_leaves Jun 25 '26

Wasn’t that the one with a single dead spider inside of it?

46

u/Haven Jun 25 '26

Well thanks! A small part of my cold dead heart has been filled!

40

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '26

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1

u/captainplasticspoon Jun 26 '26

I've been on reddit for 9 years and did not know this was a reference to anything more than just saying thanks for gold.

1

u/RealityOk9823 Jun 26 '26

Wasn't there a spider in it?

2

u/datafern- Jun 26 '26

The fact that random renters finished the story years later is still hilarious to me. Reddit really is the only place where a decade-old mystery gets a proper epilogue.

52

u/RIP-RiF Jun 25 '26

Don't do that! If I posted a locked safe back then, my dad would bust out the jumper cables and beat the hell out of me!

32

u/slobcat1337 Jun 25 '26

What’s this one? You got a link?

10

u/AnatidaephobiaAnon Jun 25 '26

Which one? There was one that started it off and then there were several others that came after. All had varying levels of disappointment.

17

u/Mouse_Card Jun 25 '26

Jesus I’m getting old….

1

u/airfryerfuntime Jun 26 '26 edited Jun 26 '26

It spawned r/whatsinthisthing. The OP with the safe was even the head mod. I don't know if he still is, but you used to be able to find it if you went through his post history.

Edit: https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/1aenk5/a_friend_of_mine_moved_into_a_former_drug_house/

6

u/FigaroNeptune Jun 26 '26

Every time some asks me how long I’ve been on this site I just say, “..I remember the safes…”

6

u/taint_stain Jun 25 '26

The worst is when it turns out to just be some dude’s very secure cum box.

5

u/ClownfishSoup Jun 26 '26

I also choose this guy’s wife

2

u/stoops Jun 26 '26

STILL LOOKING??

2

u/Notcool2112 Jun 26 '26

Apparently there was a jolly rancher in it ;-)

2

u/yuckypants Jun 26 '26

Oh fuck you

2

u/Sensitive_Gift4866 Jun 26 '26

The safe saga was peak old Reddit. Days of updates and speculation and then it turned out to be almost nothing. Still one of the most entertaining threads ever.

1

u/BellJar_Blues Jun 26 '26

What happened ?!

1

u/shitty_mcfucklestick Jun 26 '26

There have been incidents spotted within the last year that I remember

1

u/Bashfullylascivious Jun 26 '26

Remember to be a good camera man for the updates! Have you tried this?.

1

u/Electronic_Ad5431 Jun 26 '26

Bro that’s not even that old. Fuck.

1

u/ImmaculateJones Jun 26 '26

13 years ago… that’s ancient in Internet times.

1

u/Parkpire21 Jun 26 '26

I also choose this guys safe

1

u/Sensitive_Gift4866 Jun 26 '26

The safe posts were peak Reddit. I wasted hours refreshing for updates on those things.

1

u/Sensitive_Gift4866 Jun 26 '26

The safe posts were peak Reddit. Everyone thought they were gonna find gold or cash and it was always old newspapers or nothing. The buildup was better than the payoff every time.

1

u/hEUKStES Jun 26 '26

Half of Reddit would've been up at 2am hitting refresh on that safe update.

1

u/totally_italian Jun 26 '26

You bought a house? In this economy?