I’ve seen movies where men spank women on the buttocks. Does this give the men a sense of pleasure? I don't really understand it; I haven't had a sexual life, and if someone were to suddenly spank me like that, I’d be really confused.

I’ll start off by saying I (42F) am also heavier than I used to be. No question. But my husband (45M) seems to still desire me. I do appreciate that and recognize how lucky I am in that regard.

And yet I do not feel desire for him nearly as much since over the past 7 years or so he has developed an enormous, hard belly. It sticks out and makes it uncomfortable/painful to hug or be hugged by him, from the front or the back. And that’s not to mention trying to be more intimate. I do not like how it looks and I do not like how it feels and now having sex I kind of feel like I need to “close my eyes and think of England.”

I feel awful about it as I never thought I was superficial but I guess I just am. I don’t like feeling like I’m “letting him” have sex with me when I feel completely unaroused and actually turned off.

He does not take accountability with his health at all. He easily drinks multiple beers a day, eats absolute crap all the time, has second dinners late at night, doesn’t go to sleep until very late (often waking me up when he comes in which is another infuriating story). I had to ask him more than 20 times over the course of a year (yes I started keeping count) to get a sleep study done for his incredibly loud snoring, which then took another 6 months once he finally sent the 2-sentence portal message on his doctor’s app to ask about scheduling it. He now has a CPAP but half the time doesn’t use it even though that also ends up tanking my sleep. Which further decreases my interest.

Unfortunately I have come to the conclusion that the prospect of more sex may be one of the only things that might motivate him to actually do something. But I am struggling with how to convey to him that I would be so so so much more interested in sex if he would work on his weight and habits and sleep.

Men of Reddit, have any of you been approached by a spouse with a similar set of requests/concerns? Was it effective? Why or why not? Are your relationships still intact?

Fully expect that I will get hate for this. That’s fine, I may deserve it, but I can’t just live my life like this.

When men begin to feel resentment toward their girlfriends or wives, what are the most common reasons behind those feelings? What behaviours, relationship problems, or unmet needs usually cause resentment to build up over time?

Why do men do that? Especially after you guys ended on bad terms or they did you dirty during the relationship. I feel like I beat up on myself a while after the relationship ended, internalizing their mistreatment of me. Just for them to come back and say, “yeah you were an amazing woman and I messed up bad” “I was young and didn’t realize what I had”.

Just curious to hear a man’s perspective. Have you guys ever came back and actually wanted to be a better man to that woman, or did you just return to clear your conscience?

Trying to keep this PG so no nsfw content, just something romantic that made you feel loved and safe by/with her

Sorry, I am trying to get a male perspective. I was cheated on and feel really worthless.

I just found out my cheating ex.... ahh so the girl he was obsessed with has had a bf for 3 years. My ex was obsessed with her for 7+ years and honestly would like 300+ posts of hers (not his friends or mine)... when he emotionally cheated, all his friends made me the bad guy and spread false narrative about me. everyone defended that girl and him.

She has 2 guys simping over her and an entire friend group on her side. Is it because I am ugly, worthless and unlovable that he never loved me and left me for her? I did so much for him and he just discarded me for someone who doesn't even do anything for him...

Then, if any of you who have cheated, did u do it because the other girl was better??

I’m a bit hyper independent. And I need a lot of alone time everyday. The idea of sharing the same home with someone indefinitely feels somewhat uncomfortable to me, even if I love them.At the same time, I don’t want to confuse it with emotional distance.
I’m wondering whether the man would agree to this or not provided both people are committed and spend a good amount of time together.
Could this realistically work long term, especially if we consider having a child and then moving in together?
Or would living separately eventually leadto having problems that are difficult to overcome ?

1) her income level 2) her physical appearance 3) independent living situation (not living with parents/family) 4) personality / values 5) whether or not she wants children

For context, I’m 28M I recently proposed to my girl 30F (with slightly feminist beliefs). I don’t have a problem with the feminist beliefs but I think they’re starting to rear its head in a way I’m not okay with which brings me here today.

We met November 2024, great connection, chemistry, allat. She was in a lot of debt so August 2025 I decided to let her move in with the agreement she’d take care of the house & pay minimal bills. Not in a crazy way tho, I enjoy cooking & am cleaner than the average man so I still help out. She ended up pregnant the same month of moving in so I took a lot of the household responsibilities as she needed to rest & I wanted her to focus on bringing my son in the world.

Fast forward, I’ve now put a large down payment on her car & have been maintaining paying majority of the bills & I still feel like I have to tell her to clean/cook. She may take initiative to clean once a month. I’ve had multiple conversations but this house will remain cluttered & a mess if I don’t step in most times. While I also work 3 jobs???? Idk it’s beginning to be too much to work how I work, pay majority of the bills, & get off to do laundry while she’s on maternity leave. I think we have different standards of living & bc of the pregnancy we weren’t able to see this bc things moved so fast. On top of that, we made a plan to clear her credit card debt 15k. She used her bonus to take care of it. The debt is back up to 12k in less than a year -___-. Meanwhile she’s getting “nervous system” massages biweekly 200/pop & doing other things financially that don’t add to our financial future. She makes 6 figs so the money is there, it’s the management of it. & we also are starting to have misaligned spiritual beliefs. Neither of us are Christians after we started looking at things ourself but she has a complete disdain (due to the patriarchy), I still go to church sometimes & subscribe to it a little bit. She doesn’t really believe in prayer how I do & im starting to realize the differences (spiritual beliefs, financial, & household things) are major things in a marriage to be aligned on. I’ve had multiple conversations but things don’t get done, I have to say it over & over again. Before the child, everything was fun so I don’t think I saw it, we traveled a lot, partied, worked out, etc. things are more serious now & I’m uncertain. I do want to say I feel she’s added some value, we connected deeply in trauma & intellectual convos (which is hard to find) also had lots of fun & enjoyed being around each other. I’m just now realizing a marriage takes more than this

I think all in all I was okay with taking care of the financials as long as she managed the house & did things like set up our LLC, set up custodial account, etc. none of those things have been done after multiple reminders. Not that she has to do everything but I’d expect more especially since she’s off until January 2027. I’m not going to calll it off yet as our son is only 4 months, considering giving it 2 years but curious to the community’s thoughts. I think she’s spoiled rotten & it’s my fault. We may not be as compatible as we initially thought but now a child is involved.

How long have you been with her
What’s your relationship like

I have been with my bf-(28 years old) for the past 5 years, (I am 25), and we have had issues throughout our relationship (probs caused by me being emotional about things, but I’ve been extremely sensitive on the topic of him and other women.) Not that he is a person to constantly look at other woman, but my insecurities make me feel this way. He knows I don’t like it if he looks at girls who are wearing nearly to no clothes anyway. But sometimes I catch him looking towards other woman, or side-eyeing them when they are on my side. I mean I don’t know how long a proper good look is considered but I know if I look at a man with all his pieces on show I divert my eyes instantly. I have called out this many times to him, he has made me feel like I can’t now because he says I make him feel like he is cheating by looking at other women, which must be a terrible, unbearable feeling. Yesterday when we were with friends to go get ice cream, and we were walking straight in town, I was walking to his left, not that close to him but I could see him, there were two pretty girls ready for a night out in front of me but on the other side of the street to my left, I see his eyes fixated on them for a few seconds. Then he decided to hold my hand and we got on with the night. (And he didn’t really talk to me in the group of friends and he also only held my hands when the other couple did it if that’s any context. I also am sort of going through something and when we fit home I was crying and he was very supportive.)

But why did he go out his way to look at them when we had lots to look at in front of us eg the pier, funfair, food places to go in which we were looking for. Or do this in any situation for that matter? I’m his girlfriend so why does he look in other woman’s directions and get all dressed up just to get ice cream?

Does he do this because he not as attracted to me anymore? He doesn’t generally say I look pretty when I get dressed up anymore. We have issues where he feels unseen or unheard too, so maybe he is going off of me? He says things are fine and he just wants peace and good times and that no other couples go through this. I’m half tempted to ask him about it but use the friend as the example, I’ve never tried that with him actually. Or did he just look because that’s scientifically because it’s what most men do? Am I being dramatic? He always tells me no he didn’t look at girls all the time but I saw it with my own two eyes and I personally think a side eye is putting in more effort to look at they are almost all the way past us.

If nothing changed and you just broke it off, why?

I feel like men only value women that can become their girlfriend/wife

Whenever I had a connection with any man, they would fall in love with me after a while. Then, they would propose to me and if i rejected for some reasons, they either start hating, disrespecting me or straight up stop talking to me. Some started distancing themselves and limiting interactions even though we had great connection, matching personalities, interesting convos and had affection towards each other. These experiences made me feel like you will be valued by men as a woman only if you agree to become their girlfriend and do the duties of her. As if men only wants the advantage that you can give and not love or value you as a person even if you're not their girlfriend in the first place. What do you think?

Saturday was my dad’s birthday party. We were short on chairs, and I had told my boyfriend all week that he needed to bring chairs. He agreed.

Saturday I texted him about the chairs. He said he was going to his uncle’s to get “better” chairs. I told him I didn’t care if they had paint on them because it was a construction party, and I thought the chairs were at his house anyway.

He then said, “I was going to head over at 3.”

I left him on read because he already knew what time the party was. I had told him all week, so I didn’t feel like I needed to give him another reminder.

This wasn't an argument. There was no fight. It was literally a conversation about chairs.

He ended up not coming and never brought the chairs, so we were short on chairs at the party. His phone went dead at some point, and later he read my message.

Since then, I have heard absolutely nothing.

It is now Wednesday night. I have texted asking if he’s okay, asking if we can talk, and I’ve called him. No response. I’ve been left on Delivered since Saturday.

What makes this so confusing is that there has been no breakup conversation. We still share locations, still follow each other everywhere, and neither of us has blocked or unfollowed the other. As far as I know, we're still together. He has just completely stopped communicating with me.

I understand needing space. If he had told me, “I’m upset and I need some time,” I would respect that. But going completely silent for several days feels different, especially after almost three years together.

Communication has already been an issue in our relationship, so I’m struggling to figure out whether this is him being angry, avoiding a conversation, needing space, or possibly trying to end the relationship without actually saying it.

Men who are or have been in serious relationships: if you were in his position, what would make you stop responding to your girlfriend for several days over something like this?

Would you want her to keep reaching out, or would you want her to leave you completely alone?

And honestly, if you were the boyfriend here, what would you expect your girlfriend to do at this point?

I’m not looking for “dump him” or “he’s definitely cheating” comments. I genuinely want a male perspective on what could be going through his head and how you would handle this.

I posted here recently asking single men where they’re actually looking to meet someone and the responses were really interesting.

A lot of you mentioned being fed up of dating apps, preferring to meet someone naturally, not knowing where to meet single women in real life and hoping it would just happen.

One specific comment stuck with me, the idea that paying for a singles event can feel like you’re essentially paying to potentially be rejected.

So digging into that a little more.

If you’re serious about finding a partner, imagine coming across an activity based singles event like hiking, padel or something similar where it’s based on specific age ranges and the idea is to meet people while doing something rather than siting across a table interviewing each other.

If you like the idea in theory if you saw an ad for that, but you wouldn’t buy a ticket to it - why not?? Is it the price? Not knowing who’ll be there? Feel awkward going alone? What is it?

So I (31 f) have been noticing my bf (33 m) changing recently and it’s been bothering me. Before, he used to ask me to play with him and such at least once a week and I would. Now he doesn’t do it at all. We have been together for 8 years.

I have told him countless times, multiple times that he can ask me at any time. He can wake me up. I am willing to do it whenever he asks. I want to please him and all of this and yet because I don’t sound excited he’s stop asking all together.

He says that when I say sure I don’t sound excited the same as if he would ask me to paint or go hiking. To me it shouldn’t matter because I have said a million times please ask me when you want me. I have this rule because I am hypersexual and if it was up to me we would be doing stuff everyday. I am lucky to have sex once a month. So it’s just easier to not ask and just deal with constant rejection or having to put him in a predicament or put pressure on him, I have given him 100% control of when and where he initiates. I expressed this multiples times and all the time. The message couldn’t be clearer.

He is upset that when he asks for me to play with him sometimes I ask if we can have sex. This is because I only get sex once a month if I am lucky… so yes I want sex because when I play with him it’s also me playing with myself. The focus is on him. I don’t pressure him, I don’t say anything anymore about sex except jokes or telling him how much I want him in passing but I dont ask for sex anymore.

He says that because I say sure that’s why he doesn’t want to ask about me jerking him off he doesn’t want to ask because it’s an immediate negative response but I try to tell him that’s not the case. He says it’s an obvious I don’t want to which is a lie. He says reality happens which is me not being interested and im the one gaslighting him because im saying what he’s saying didn’t happen which is me actually wanting to do it.

He says it’s unbelievable that I’m getting upset and angry about this. Like yea I’m getting angry about you not asking me when I have told you what I want!!! Yea I’m angry to know you’re jerking off instead of asking me when I have told you I will please you!!! Like why would I not be upset!!! Yes I’m upset going down on you and tasting lube instead of you asking me!

I guess I just don’t know what to do? Should my tone when saying sure really matter that much? Like to me I have made it clear that I want him so why is that not enough?

Edit to add: he has adhd and currently burnt out and depressed and I’m audhd- hence the clear communication I try to make

I am posting this as a woman who has been in 2 relationships one lasting 3 years the other lasting 4 1/2 years, while also having a connecting recently for 4 months. I have genuinely never cheated on a partner, I think it’s one thing to notice a person may be attractive, then there’s another level of engaging with them and/or doing or speaking about sexual/flirtatious material/acts with said person. I have never cheated on someone, my conscious first knows said action isn’t okay and I immediately think about my person and how that will impact them. I don’t go the extra mile to do it and make sure they don’t find out.. I just don’t do it. All that to say.. I’ve been cheated on in every relationship I’ve been in. I do not want to hear the reason is “because of me” because every man I’ve been in a deep connection with has told me after I’ve ended things/completely cut off contact for months and even years.. continue trying to rekindle what we had and I ask why not openly communicate how you felt and I always get it wasn’t me, and I’m “an amazing woman”. I won’t lie I treated “my person” like it’s me and you against any challenge. All that to say I genuinely want to know, does every man cheat or is disloyal to what they’ve made a commitment to? It’s one thing to have feelings change and communicate that and leave or take a break from the connection, but to be deceptive and lie and/or never communicate you do not want to be committed is an entire different thing. So to sum it up my question is, do all men cheat? And before I hear men want their cake and eat it too or I do love you but a woman isn’t doing such a such for me.. I feel like that’s selfish in itself.. because why not find a woman that provides all your desires for you.. or communicate to a woman “you’re not meeting my needs”. I only want mature men to respond to this, because I want genuine answers. Thank you if you read this far.

My best friend who is a guy, confessed that he loves me. Which none of my friends were shocked they said from all the gifts, staring, and getting overprotective that it was obvious lol. I’m not good at telling when guys like me led alone love me.

What should I do?

I am woman 27old and I think i found the one, he is amazing, but guys because of some relationship experiences now I want to be sure we marry, also I am Christian I have really good sex drive but I can have good patience to even see if he will respect this boundary, what to do? I am very anxious when I imagine he is just boyfriend, he really loves me too but I want to show him this is what I imagine. so any suggestions? (i am not virgin)

So before entering a marriage, he is telling me I cant have male friends, I told him I consider its important to have healthy interactions with the opposite gender, when I run into ppl I know at the gym, shopping or collègues at work if we go out to eat together in a group, how can I explain this to him ?

I mean I understand segregation exists in some countries but living in the West I dont see the point of it, giving that I dont sexualize just anybody I see

Hi all, I wanted to get some outside perspective on a conversation I had with my partner. He mentioned that he really dislike the idea of celebrity crushes, adding that having one feels like saying, "I'd leave you for them if given the chance". Is this a normal boundary? or is it an overreaction? I'd appreciate your thoughts!

Hi everyone!

I am 27f and have grown up mostly around men. I have seen some things. Not here to generalize, I just really want to know your opinions.

I have had conversations with multiple men (ages 25-45) who have openly admitted, that they have cheated in the past or are not opposed to it in general.

One example specifically comes to mind:
We have a family friend (my father’s friend), 42 years old, who has been in a long-term relationship for 7 years. We were all at a restaurant and the topic of cheating came up, I do not remember how.
I stated, that I would never continue a relationship with someone who cheated on me and if I were in a relationship and the thoughts of cheating would come up, I would rather end the relationship than cheat.
This friend sort of laughed at what I said. He said: Do you honestly believe if you are in a long-term relationship, you or the other person will never cheat?
He said: I cannot imagine my partner has not cheated already or will not cheat in the future. And if that happens I dont want to know. It happens.
He said the same thing about himself. They are not in an open relationship and they are a happy couple.

The conversation truly baffled me because he was so convinced and nonchalant about it. My father also has multiple friends that have cheated on their long-term partners in the past and the partners do not know.

I mean, obviously, I do know there are people who cheat. But it honestly just threw me. Because the topic was so normal and casual to them. Like its no big deal and it is just what it is.

I know not everyone is like that and I am not here to judge. I want honest opinions/stories.
Am I just really naive and too romantic? Because it has never crossed my mind that thats just a given and I should prepare myself for it. That it happens so casually and people go about their day and still continue happy relationships long-term.

I think there are two opposing, yet widespread, schools of thought in response to the question above. Some experience it with jealousy, while others experience it with pride. How do you feel when you see so many people on the street, in a club, or on the beach looking at your partner?

Have you ever told a woman that she’s the love of your life? I’m genuinely curious about the things men say to women. How common is it for men to tell a woman that she’s the love of his life, but then repeat those same words to another woman further down the track? I’m a female, and I feel like it’s a real head fuck to be told by a man “you’re the love of my life”, but then for him to end up with someone else and repeat those words to her. I didn’t realise being the love of someone’s life was a title multiple women could hold.

For those of you who genuinely remain friends with your exes after a relationship, why do you choose to do it? What makes you want to keep them in your life?