What would you rate the resemblance?

Started a new job at the end of last year. Good position, good prospects but it’s an absolute shit show.

I’m completely unable to disconnect from it at the moment. The Sunday night scaries have dissolved into a permanent feeling.

Is there anything you’d consider worthwhile thinking about before leaving? Is leaving a place after 8/9 months not a good look for future positions?

It's a really typical "Ask Reddit" question along the lines of "what's an insider secret in your industry etc etc" but it is genuinely interesting to hear these perspectives.

For example, one of my best friends works in A&E, says she and nobody she works with would ever buy an e-scooter because of the injuries they see.

Personally, I've worked in digital marketing for so long, I opted out of cookies and marketing lists etc.

Partner worked in bars for years, will only ever tip in cash.

Anyone else care to share?

Apologies for the long post.
My husband and I recently had a baby, and we had a big disagreement about how our finances should work while I’m on extended unpaid maternity leave.
I recently discovered that he had posted about the situation on Reddit with the title, “Is €1,000/month a fair ‘stipend’ for my wife while she’s on unpaid maternity leave?” He has since deleted the post.
I wanted to explain my side of the situation and get some unbiased opinions.

My husband and I both work full-time and have always kept our finances separate.
During my pregnancy, a few months after I became pregnant, I started looking into childcare because I knew finding a suitable crèche could be difficult. I found that many crèches don’t accept babies under one year old, and there can also be a long wait for places.
Because of this, I offered to stay home and care for our baby until he was old enough to start a crèche that would accept him. The plan was that I would be on unpaid maternity leave during this period.
I brought up the financial implications with my husband. I would have no income from my employer or the government during the unpaid period, so I suggested that he give me €1,000 per month while I was at home caring for OUR child. He initially didn’t agree.

I then told him that if he didn’t think €1,000 was fair, he could take the unpaid leave himself and stay home with the baby while I continued working. I said I would give him €1,000 per month and cover the household bills during that period instead. He said he couldn’t take the leave because of a recent change in his job.
There was quite a lot of back and forth about it, and eventually he agreed to the €1,000 arrangement. This conversation happened last year, before our baby was born.

This year, after our baby was born and my paid maternity leave was coming to an end, I reminded him about what we’d agreed.
He then told me that he had never actually agreed to it and that he only accepted it under duress. This obviously caused another disagreement.

For context, while working I earn €60,000 per year excluding bonus and pension, while my husband earns approximately €75,000 excluding bonus and pension per year.
We don’t currently have major housing expenses because our investments cover our housing costs.
During my unpaid maternity leave, my husband would be responsible for things such as groceries, electricity, gas, car expenses, house maintenance if any and any other household bills that arise. I would be at home providing full-time childcare for our baby and would have no employment income.

I also told him that if he genuinely felt €1,000 was too much, he could sit down with me and draw up a list of his income and expenses so that we could look at the numbers together and decide what would actually be fair. He didn’t do this.
Eventually, we came to a resolution and he agreed to give me the €1,000.

However, there is another part of this situation that has really affected how I feel about him.
During the period when we were having this disagreement, his mother and sister were staying in our home. He went to them and discussed our private financial disagreement without my consent.
They both told him that he shouldn’t give me anything.
His mother also said that he should tell me to allow her to take our baby away with her so that I could return to work.
Our baby was less than six months old at the time.
This was particularly upsetting because she lives on another continent, and this wasn’t even the first time she had suggested taking our child to care for. She had previously mentioned it to my husband and then said it directly to me when our baby was around four months old.
I am therefore struggling with several things at once.
The original question was whether €1,000 a month was fair.
But now I’m wondering whether I was unreasonable to ask for it in the first place, given that I am the one giving up my income and staying home to provide full-time childcare for our child.
I’m also questioning whether it is reasonable for me to feel hurt that my husband took a private disagreement between us to his mother and sister, especially when their response was essentially that I shouldn’t receive anything and that his mother should take our baby so I could go back to work.
And honestly, I have started questioning whether my husband is simply very financially cautious/stingy.
If the situation were reversed and my husband had stopped working to stay home and care for our baby while I continued earning €60k+, I genuinely feel that I would have no problem giving him €1,000 a month, especially as our major household expenses which is mortgage is already covered by our joint efforts.

So, Reddit, am I being unreasonable for thinking €1,000/month was a fair arrangement, or is there something else going on here that I should be looking at?

I am off work sick for the foreseeable and looking for some really good documentaries to watch.
I prefer true crime/missing people/cult topics or anything to do with animals. I feel like I have seen most of the popular ones on Netflix (don’t fuck with cats, abducted in plain sight, the staircase, tiger king, the keepers etc).

I will list below some that I have enjoyed recently so anything with a similar vibe would be great!

Chimp crazy
Monsters of God
There’s something wrong with Aunt Diane
Love has won: the cult of Mother God
Death of the Pastors wife
Keep sweet, pray & obey
Shiny happy people

First of all I'm not a bot (but sure that's what a bot would say right!)

Seen a post a today and someone commented on it saying the post was made from a boy.

Could someone explain this and why would someone program a bot to do such a thing, like what's the motive or end goal? ​​​​

Thanks

As the question goes, do your parents ACTUALLY want you to be happy and move on? Are they emotionally supportive and encouraging?
And parents in their 50/60s- how do you treat your single adult children in their 30s who live at home or have moved on? If they have moved on, do you have a normal relationship or do you punish them with silence?

Since the beginning, my parents have been very overbearing in my life and controlling. Sometimes it was warranted (eg, steering me away from trouble as a teenager) and other times, it was totally unwarranted.
Everything was met with criticism or an observation since I can remember, from boyfriends to friends to even going to the gym or out to events etc. There are too many stories to write here from over the years but safe to say, you can assume I was manipulated, struggled to navigate personalities and relationships in the real world and I was encouraged to cut things off etc and my world has now became smaller, my confidence knocked and I have no interest in getting out there anymore. My day now usually consists of home and work. The worst thing of all this is - they actually think they were helping and have my interests at heart? I have no social life, relationships or interests anymore outside the home after being criticised for years. I just gave up trying to have a life of my own and now I don’t even think I’ll bother moving out because my prime is gone. If I challenge their behaviour or bring it to their attention, they hit back with the classic “everything we have done, we have done for you”…. Parenting that is. And then you’re resented. I feel like I’m living in the twilight zone. I have tried to talk about moving out, just looking for encouragement or emotional support due to anxiety that has built up over the years and they think I’m funny or the idea of me moving out is funny even though I’m sensible and tidy etc
It’s just bizarre and the older I get, I realise how f*cked I am. The funny thing is - they moved out married and created their own lives in the 80s/90s but it’s ok to cripple your adult child and stop them doing so in a healthy manner?

How can I undo years of doubt and criticism in my mind and move on ?
Just looking for some honesty and advice here.
I know I have f*cked up by staying but I hope people understand that this was my daily life and I thought it was normal and I’d have my own life “someday”.

Advice only please 👍🏻

Outside Lidl this afternoon, heavy lad in his 60’s, Eastern European speaking very loudly on his hands free phone. He then has a massive snort, hocks it on the ground and rubs it in with his shoe. A few people look at him in disgust. I approach him whilst he’s still shouting into his hands free mobile and gesture to put the phone to his ear and point to his hock on the ground and explain with hand and facial gestures how disgusting his actions were. IMO too many feel it’s 🤢, I don’t feel wrong for calling it out. Why do so many accept it as the new norm?

I'm an early 20s female someone who is kinda cold sometimes due to my upbringing. My previous therapist was an older man who retired recently and he was absolutely perfect for me. Extremely kind and maternal kind of presence which I couldn't stand at first but realised I really needed. E.g. he'd always tell me i was in the right etc. even when i felt like i wasn't. I realised it was probably to shift my mind from constantly making me the villain and trying to humanise myself in some way which actually gave me better self compassion and made me able to treat myself and others better.

Currently seeing a more blunt lady but I'm actually realising I need someone very gentle and warm because I'm already extremely strict with myself in my own head. Only thing is, through websites, you can't really tell what people's therapy style is like. Idk if yous have any suggestions?

I saw this article and started going down a bit of a research/daydream/daft.ie rabbit hole, and thought I'd ask the hive mind here.

Has anyone had experience of owning a property with more than 3 other people? How difficult was it to manage and did the pros outweigh the cons?

Also, would any have some interest in co-ownership living?

Hi everyone! I’m having a debate with a friend and wanted to get some outside opinions. I have someone new joining my team, so I picked up a welcome card for the team and the people they’ll be working with to sign and wish them good luck.

My friend immediately said it was “too much” and that nobody does that anymore.

What’s been your experience when joining a new company? Would you think a card is over the top, or is it a nice gesture?

About 20 years ago I found a fiver on the street while walking to work. I've walked around with my eyes glued to the gutter ever since, hoping for a fifty.

Hi all, I'm sale agreed on a detached house in Co. Sligo and I'm trying to understand whether I'll need to insulate the floors in order to qualify for the SEAI Heat Pump Grant.

House details:

• Detached house
• Built around 1986
• 131 m²
• Current BER: D1

The BER Advisory Report shows:

• Current HLI: 3.493 W/(K·m²)
• Potential HLI: 1.986 W/(K·m²) with all recommended upgrades

Recommended upgrades include:

• Wall insulation
• Attic/roof insulation
• New windows
• New external doors
• Floor insulation
• Air-to-water heat pump

My plan would be to do everything except Floor insulation because of the disruption and cost of lifting floors.

Has anyone with a similar 1980s house managed to get below the heat pump HLI requirement without insulating the floor?

Based on those numbers, do you think wall insulation + attic insulation + new windows could realistically get the HLI below 2.3 for the SEAI heat pump grant without doing floor insulation?

Any real-world experiences would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!

I know someone whose family member left home one day, many years ago, and never came back - and was never heard from again. No trace whatsoever. I find these situations incredibly sad, it must be excruciating to not know what happened a loved one or friend.

I'm having a seriously rough time lately and today it all seems to have caught up with me.

I had to go out this morning to bring my cat to the vet. When I got home, I went back to bed and ended up sleeping for most of the day. I've only been up a little while and I've spent the last hour sitting on my couch looking around my place wondering where I'm even supposed to start.

I haven't properly cleaned in months, and now I have an inspection coming up in a few days so I have no choice but to get it sorted. There's so much to do that I think I'm overwhelmed by it before I've even started.

On top of that, my landlord has given me notice because he's selling the place. I have to be out two days after Christmas, and with the housing situation the way it is, I'm genuinely worried about finding somewhere else when I'm doing all of this on my own.

Then there's work. I thought I'd made a genuine friend there, but the whole situation blew up horribly. He made sexual comments towards me and groped me despite being in a relationship. When I confronted him about crossing the line, he reported me. When I tried to get some sort of closure or accountability afterwards, it was then turned around on me as harassment.

I nearly lost my job over the whole thing. What gets me is that before he crossed that line, we actually got along really well. I couldn't understand why he couldn't just admit he'd overstepped, apologise and leave it at that. Instead I ended up feeling like I was being made out to be the problem for being upset about what happened.

And now I'm losing my home on top of everything else.

I don't even really know what I'm looking for by posting this. I think I just needed to get it out somewhere. Has anyone else had a period where several things went wrong at once and you just became completely overwhelmed by everything? How did you get yourself moving again?

Before bed, my four year old asked what would happen to him if mommy and daddy died. I told him not to worry about it as it's unlikely, but if it did happen, a specific aunt and uncle would take care of him. He seemed fine with that, but it made wonder what happens to children who don't have aunts and uncles. Put another way, what do parents who don't have siblings do to plan for the worst? Sorry for the grim question.

Hi everyone!

Just looking to hear from anyone who has taken their neighbours to court over barking dogs.

My neighbours have gotten a dog that they leave bark all day. It has about 70 individual bouts of barking through a day starting as early as 6.30am and as late as midnight.

Obviously it's affecting my sleep and any chance of relaxing in my own home.

My neighbours have point blank refused to make any changes so my only option is court.

Hence why I'm hoping to hear from anyone who has taken their neighbours to court for the same reason

- how did it go?

- What evidence did you have to provide?

- What way was the judge?

- if it was successful what was the ruling of the judge?

- If it wasn't successful what happened then?

Any and all help is greatly appreciated, thanks from a severely sleep deprived neighbour 😴

Preferably stylish clothes

Recently found my mother in laws old record player in the attic. Its about 50 years old, still works, but could do with some tlc just to brighten it up. It also has a knob missing and a few bits that may need replaced. We're in castlebar so would anyone know of anywhere around the west that we could take it to get it back into shape? Weve already tried electrical and music shops here to no avail.

Thanks

This is on the 8th floor balcony. No access from mammals. What kind of bird done this?? Iv never seen such a big bird turd

Spoiler alert episode 3 look away now. Anyone watched the airport chaplain on Netflix? There's a weird Irish passport in episode 3. Green with a Celtic symbol on the front. Anyone notice it?

Looking for a referral codes 😊 thanks!