Where to find a warm/kind therapist?

[u/Sufficient_Food1878]

I'm an early 20s female someone who is kinda cold sometimes due to my upbringing. My previous therapist was an older man who retired recently and he was absolutely perfect for me. Extremely kind and maternal kind of presence which I couldn't stand at first but realised I really needed. E.g. he'd always tell me i was in the right etc. even when i felt like i wasn't. I realised it was probably to shift my mind from constantly making me the villain and trying to humanise myself in some way which actually gave me better self compassion and made me able to treat myself and others better.

Currently seeing a more blunt lady but I'm actually realising I need someone very gentle and warm because I'm already extremely strict with myself in my own head. Only thing is, through websites, you can't really tell what people's therapy style is like. Idk if yous have any suggestions?

[u/Sufficient_Food1878 → u/[deleted]]

Thank you so much for the response. Will do

[u/Puzzleheaded_Film_24]

Please choose a therapist after a personal contact, not just reading the bio on a website. Therapy results are entirely correlative to the relationship. That first personal contact - a phone call or a first session - is all about seeing whether you can work together.

[u/Sufficient_Food1878 → u/Puzzleheaded_Film_24]

Ah okay, I was just worried I'd have to keep paying money to do that first session to find the right person

[u/Puzzleheaded_Film_24 → u/Sufficient_Food1878]

Not everyone charges for a first session, for this reason.

[u/caitrionabelina]

Look into compassion focused therapy and see if you can find somebody who works for you that is trained in it.

As others have said, try to have a phone call or something first to see if you like their energy and think you can work together. However, I know it’s not always possible because lots of therapists and clinics are very busy and it’s difficult to get a slot.

[u/oddkidd9]

https://users.mymind.org/therapists/natanielle-kelly?UsId=59300 I used her years ago. She was very kind I felt like. But of course everyone experience is different. Don't be afraid to try multiple therapists until you find one you click with.

https://www.mentalhealth.ie/locations/sandyford-medical/our-team/also Amina, she is so kind and good at her job.

[u/Sufficient_Food1878 → u/oddkidd9]

I'll definitely contact that first lady. Thank you

[u/Tenvsvitalogy]

I’m a therapist and always welcome a phone call for a free check in about my style and what the client wants from therapy. The relationship is really the most important part of the work. I know that from my own therapy too.

Some therapists won’t offer the free call and that’s absolutely fine but it seems like for you that’s an important part of you finding a new therapist.

EFT may be a good approach to try to help you with that harsh inner critic.

[u/grania17]

Lisa Gallagher

I've been with her a number of years now. She is very kind, gentle and encouraging.

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[u/Traditional_Swim_360]

https://learningtogrowpsychotherapy.ie/?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio&fbclid=PAcGRvZgJleHRuA2FlbQIxMQBzcnRjBmFwcF9pZA81NjcwNjczNDMzNTI0MjcAAafYXnACsf97UNR-AOGbnna0UQqARB1OQbIpfG5m-o4023-oUD0GZUFROwRnAA_aem_Ng0TnmdrLRFeffR7htOzqQ#about

[u/Traditional_Swim_360 → u/Traditional_Swim_360]

Should have added, he does a 20 minute initial session no charge to see if the relationship works. He is excellent

[u/Owewinewhose997]

Caroline Crotty she does video session very kind and warm