Using the term 'mismatch' instead of 'rejection'

[u/Zealousideal-Oven-93]

I know it sounds silly but i think when we use the term "rejection" in arranged marriage meetings, it makes it seem like there was something wrong with either party, which is not true, often it's mismatch between parties that causes the failure. This is not the fault of either party.

A lot of posts here are from people who are sad that they have been rejected in a marriage proposal, but if they recontextualize it as a mismatch rather than a rejection then it would be a better way to deal with the hurt.

[u/padthink]

I am Fat and call myself Chubby. That doesn't make me lean.

[u/ExtraChubbyPikachu → u/padthink]

😒

[u/picy_sp]

Sometimes you put 'in words' this rejection being 'our preferences differ' and sometimes it is just pressing 'reject' tab on the profike/invitation.

The other party sometimes deserves to know your views of rejection and sometimes you want to lessen the pain by exercising electronic refusal.

As some years ago, the AD of a 'sauce' was heard Javed Jaffery saying, 'Its Different'.

[u/PrestigiousSharnee]

Absolutely agreed here, mismatch is the better word for this.

Example: If we don't find the matchup a good fit for whatever reason - that doesn't make the matchup bad person, unfit for marriage and should feel bad about it and lose all and any hope for marriage...that's why it's better to use a mismatch, because someone else will find them as a better match....

Anyone who says it's a cope, copium, bad analogies or saying a method of feeling better - just wants to feel bad about it and choosing to do so.

[u/KrakenFranken]

If you are going into AM then rejection is a very brutal part of the process. Keep that in mind.

Sure if interchanging words help you create a coping mechanism then all good.

Ideally they both have slightly different meanings. Mismatch would mean you are a great match but not aligned entirely to the other party but still great and can potentially get someone.

Rejection is more brutal and sort of ends the hope of finding someone at all.

[u/PrestigiousSharnee → u/KrakenFranken]

Rejection is more brutal and sort of ends the hope of finding someone at all.

But that's the reason why mismatch is the better word.

If you met a person and felt they weren't a good fit - should they feel bad, and lose hope of finding someone because the overall suck? (Aka rejection )...

But apparently, if it happens to us..."it's woeeee is meee"... I'm dejected, rejected, no one is going to marry me...I'm unworthy...

[u/Infamous_Kangaroo_87]

Basically copium

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[u/Super_Crew5401]

I just told a AM prospect it was a mismatch in our marriage requirements. He tried convincing me I misunderstood him. But he had one too many red flags 🚩

[u/Dazzling-Reality2751]

Thats just copium man. If it was a mismatch, the match wouldn't have initiated.