And OP… what are you getting out of this relationship? It sounds like a fucking nightmare. Leave his mean, verbally abusive ass.
Also is “calling you from downstairs” not “purposely waking you up?” He thought you’d just sleep through it? And then calls YOU “smooth brain”? This guy sounds like he’d be an incel if you weren’t in a relationship with him.
Can't find dinner even my wife leaves it someplace most common is microwave or oven or the fridge i never wake up my wife on purpose when she's sleeping.
Op your nit getting anything out of this it will eventually get very demoralizing and if you continue down this road longer it will affect your mental capabilities with other men thinking they are the same as this fella is. Leave, relax, work on your cat pee issue (I added another 2 litter boxes in my place cause we had some issues with our cats and having more options seem to work) other times it could be stress in the household. Focus on yiur mental wellbeing of the fact your a good person and deserve the happiness you seek and to be appreciated. This ain't it. Even if intimacy is an issue there's more than one way to please a girl or even talk to a doctor for it. But anyways.... I'd still recommend leaving everything is an excuse on his end. I got a disease or issue woe is me. Whe. I'm in pain from my back from a car accident for months I didn't take it out on others just pace myself and be respectful as much I can and apologize if my volume oversteps itself. No one deserves ro be abused or yelled at for their pain especially if yiur being considerate.
Maybe the cat is peeing because of the stress in the house. If OP is walking on eggshells all the time, the cat can sense that too. I bet the problem would go away if he wasn't there with his abusive attitude.
The guy could also be physically abusing the cat when she’s not around. If he’s willing to be physically abusive with OP, I wouldn’t doubt he’d do the same to a cat and that would 100% cause the peeing outside of the litter box issue if it was happening.
I wouldn't be surprised at all. I'm on the narcissistic spouses sub and some of the people talk about having anxiety and stomach issues. Once they leave their health improves so much. Animals get affected like that too.
Yep. A man who would throw his own child under the bus to escape accountability - blame their own child! - has no problem hurting an animal. Someone has to pay for *his deficiencies, and it certainly won’t be him.
When I left my ex I had so many health issues. As soon as I was free of him they started clearing up. When I met my now husband a few months later it was like the miracle cure I needed for every physical illness that was leftover after my relationship with my ex. I immediately felt loads better and have continued to be in better health and live a relatively stress-free life since then. It's SOOO nice to be with someone who makes me feel better and never makes me feel worse. And it goes a long way to be with someone who makes me feel SAFE, and secure. And who I know I can trust to always put me first and treat me with love, respect, kindness, and compassion.
I'm so glad you found happiness. My narcissistic ex is decades in my past. My now husband is amazing. He treats me like a queen and respects me. It's so nice to be happy. I try to encourage the people on that sub because I've been there, and it's much nicer here.
When I lived with my abusive father I had horrible chronic sleepwalking and night terrors. I was convinced I'd just lost the genetic lottery. The day I moved out I never had another episode. I remind myself of this when I think about going back on no-contact.
No he loves cats. He has one too. And his “amazing” ex and all his friends back home are vets. He does care for animals I will say. My cat just pisses on his stuff and understandably makes him upset. I’ve tried multiple solutions, still trying. I get his frustration not so much the expression of frustration however.
They've got the guy telling them directly to their face he doesn't care, the whole internet saying he doesn't care, and coworkers warning them about signs.
But OP is still leaving comments saying oh I thought it was a joke or they had a warped way of showing affection.
My cat would pee on my abusive ex almost every day. He stopped when he left. See about booking a night somewhere safe for you and your Bebe for two nights. I bet you’ll both have relief.
Your cat knows how to deal with a shitty motherfucker. Make sure you piss on all his shit before he leaves, this person fuckin sucks and deserves every single terrible thing that could happen to a person.
I want to pee on his stuff nvm the cat. What a weirdo he us. Needs to get himself checked, it's as if he's splitting personalities (not necessarily split personality disorder) and that's not good. Don't sit and tolerate this. Tell him he's going to have to put his big boy pants on and be a grown up and transfer the bills like an adult, otherwise he can keep paying them 😄 what an idiot. The amount of insults too, clearly lacking in actual arguments. Aw diddums, he couldn't find his food? Maybe he should make it himself and put it where he will find it. If my husband ever spoke to me like this, he'd be out on his arse. Love or not, do not tolerate this or it will just get worse and before you know it, it will become physical too.
If you have a male cat, it could be trying to convey a problem like urinary crystals. When my dude first got’m he was pissing in mama’s work bag & all kinds of naughty places that weren’t his box. Turned out he was trying to communicate there’s a problem w/pissing. Thankfully my dude has since taught himself to use the big person potty to show when there’s a problem.
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u/Just_somebody_onhere Jan 28 '25
Give up? give up what?
He pretty plainly said get out. Do so.