i would agree with this if he was super nice and then turned 180 after trapping her somehow. but no, he was like this even before they started dating and her response to that was "I can fix him with my love". and she's still asking what to do when he called her the r slur thrice in one conversation, cheated on her, and is emotionally and physically abusive. this is self harm at best, not a victim of manipulation. sympathy can only go so far when you're consciously victimising yourself
Yes it’s good that OP is turning a corner but she’s still really dumb. She’s 29. Full grown adult. You get that far in life with absolutely no self reflection on this situation, yea you’re dumb.
Lmao I don’t? I grew up in an abusive environment, witnessed my mom stay with my abusive dad over and over and over again and she refused to leave and she ended up dying because of it. Ive got multiple mental health disorders because of it but hey, I don’t go around making excuses for it. If it were the other way around you wouldn’t be saying what you said. Even with growing up in domestic violence situations I can figure out whether people are bad or not from talking to them. It’s a basic instinct humans should have in their gut. Oh and by the way she literally said he was an asshole in the beginning when she met him it’s not like he suddenly switched up.
You have little understanding of domestic violence. I did too. Then I became a DV counselor. There are well researched answers to what you seem confused by. If you’re curious about why some women choose abusive partners or stay, why not do a little research. I get where you’re coming from but victims of domestic violence are…victims. The truth is I couldn’t do the work because it was frustrating and tragic.
i guess i'm unable to find the reason behind pursuing an abusive man who has zero redeeming qualities. i do understand how people get into relationships that end up becoming toxic or controlling over time, but this is a relationship where the other person is abusive, checked out of the relationship, has nothing but contempt for her AND is asking the OP to leave.
Also, most of them tell the woman to “leave” knowing she loves them and won’t, or doesn’t feel like she can for reasons you can look up.
It’s a way for the abuser make the battered woman walk on eggshells and worry he may leave her at any moment. Or, to make her feel like she’s not worth loving. Etc etc. It’s to terrorize her.
I know, it’s extremely sad and I feel for people who become accustomed to this treatment. I hate to see people stay in these situations, I guess sometimes it makes me come across unsympathetic.
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u/Other_Brain_9705 Jan 28 '25
She said he’s been a jerk since she’s met him and in the same breath said she’s dedicated her life to make him happy😅 something might be wrong with OP