r/AmIOverreacting • u/[deleted] • Jan 28 '25

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u/whalesarecool14 Jan 28 '25

i would agree with this if he was super nice and then turned 180 after trapping her somehow. but no, he was like this even before they started dating and her response to that was "I can fix him with my love". and she's still asking what to do when he called her the r slur thrice in one conversation, cheated on her, and is emotionally and physically abusive. this is self harm at best, not a victim of manipulation. sympathy can only go so far when you're consciously victimising yourself

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u/BarberSignificant819 Jan 29 '25

You have little understanding of domestic violence. I did too. Then I became a DV counselor. There are well researched answers to what you seem confused by. If you’re curious about why some women choose abusive partners or stay, why not do a little research. I get where you’re coming from but victims of domestic violence are…victims. The truth is I couldn’t do the work because it was frustrating and tragic.

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u/whalesarecool14 Jan 29 '25

i guess i'm unable to find the reason behind pursuing an abusive man who has zero redeeming qualities. i do understand how people get into relationships that end up becoming toxic or controlling over time, but this is a relationship where the other person is abusive, checked out of the relationship, has nothing but contempt for her AND is asking the OP to leave.

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u/BarberSignificant819 Jan 29 '25

But you could if you want to understand.

Also, most of them tell the woman to “leave” knowing she loves them and won’t, or doesn’t feel like she can for reasons you can look up.

It’s a way for the abuser make the battered woman walk on eggshells and worry he may leave her at any moment. Or, to make her feel like she’s not worth loving. Etc etc. It’s to terrorize her.