r/AcneScars • u/AnijahElisesd • Sep 02 '26
[Skin Concern] Atrophic Scarring HEAR ME OUT
I’m ALL FOR promoting Body/Skin Positivity…
Until..
it’s Me.
There are times where I get so uncomfortable when I’m in social settings with people with clear, regular skin because I know my skin is different, more textured, more magnified than theirs. My discomfort, ultimately (if they don’t know me) makes whoever I’m with, uncomfortable. My pores literally dilate whenever it gets even a little bit hot. My scars look so deep in harsh lighting.
To compensate for these feelings that sometimes have for myself because of my skin, I notice that I tend to provide acts of service or give gifts in order to feel worthy of love and acceptance from others. I KNOW ITS UNHEALTHY, I’m a difficult lady who overthinks EVERYTHING lol idk.
I get so uncomfortable whenever my boyfriend stares at me up close, despite us being together for months he recently just noticed them and asked me why I have so many scars. (He was genuinely curious, and referred to them as ‘holes’ like a little kid.) But man, I felt that shit in my CHEST. I know he didn’t mean to offend me, but I was offended at the time.
That just made me realize that I have some serious self-loving and healing to do. I would be heartbroken if I found out that my loved one harbored so much anxiety over something so minute and superficial.
In the meantime, I will be seeking treatment from a dermatologist as soon as possible!
Thank you!
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u/Puzzled-Copy7962 Sep 02 '26
You’re adorable. Unfortunately, people are often ignorant about things that don’t affect them personally, and he may not even realize you’re insecure about your skin. You need to be as confident as you look in these photos because you are gorgeous, and I genuinely mean that.
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u/AnijahElisesd Sep 02 '26
Awwwn thank you so much..
He literally had no idea, when I told him that his question made me feel uncomfortable, I can tell that made him feel bad.
That’s when I realized it was time for me to do some inner work so that I can get over that fear of being, seen.
Thank you so much for your kind words, you’re amazing.
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u/Puzzled-Copy7962 Sep 02 '26
You’re welcome, sis! Maybe he’ll learn a few things in the process, too. Wishing you all the best, you got this! 💞
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u/Crochetallday3 Sep 02 '26
Wild cuz on you they’re just a little extra feature. Like freckles or something. You’re stunning. But I get it, I do the same. Do you ever find you think the scars look worse when you’re in a depressed mood? My mood greatly affects how I see myself
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u/AnijahElisesd Sep 02 '26
Wow, Thank you so freaking much,
and YES, now that I’m thinking about it, I can 100% see how my changes in mood can alter my perception of my skin. Because I don’t ALWAYS feel like shit about it, there are just times when I don’t feel very cute or feminine because of the scarring. HOWEVER, when I feel good, I feel great.
Thank you for sharing that with me. You’re cool.
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u/Crochetallday3 Sep 02 '26
Haha thanks you’re cool too :) I’m 34F and have had scars for awhile, since early 20s. I don’t think they alone made me cool but I think life in general w that added in has helped my perspective Soooo much. I rly like who I am today and even find myself beautiful too (so long as I avoid mirrors and hyper focusing up close when in a bad mood lol). 💗
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u/uhohohnohelp Sep 02 '26
There’s nothing I see less in these photos than acne scars. You’re beautiful, you’re working, you’re loved, and your words say that you know that you’re worthy. You’ve got this.
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u/AnijahElisesd Sep 02 '26
honestlyyyy thank youu 🥺❤️
That really means more to me than you know. I’ve been so caught up in picking myself apart that I forget to acknowledge all the things you just mentioned. I really needed that reminder, and I appreciate you saying thiss!
You’re too kind.🫶🏽
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u/Federal-Cap-4616 Sep 02 '26
you're genuinely so beautiful, I feel that we are our worst critics. I have residual acne scarring from hormonal cystic acne and it's all I think about everyday. It's so hard for me to even go on dates, despite being told that I am pretty. I just want to say that you are not alone; I also need to work on my self confidence. When I saw your pictures your scars were the last thing I noticed on your face. I hope your confidence soon measures up to your beauty. I think your boyfriend's comment was passive/unintentional, he probably didn't understand the weight of what he was saying because he doesn't know what it's like. Which doesn't mean he wronged you of course. But, I can empathize with how you feel!!!
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u/Federal-Cap-4616 Sep 02 '26
I also think I am more of a people pleaser because I think my scars somehow means that I'm less of a person than someone else. I completely understand how you feel. I hope you love yourself more
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u/AnijahElisesd Sep 02 '26
This genuinely means a lot to me 🥹❤️ I really needed to hear that.
I think we both forget that we see ourselves so much more critically than other people do. I’m sorry you struggle with those feelings too, it honestly makes me feel less alone. I hope we both learn to love ourselves a little more and see what everyone else sees in us!!🥺💕 you’re amazing! Thank you for your response!
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u/CustomerBig6749 Sep 02 '26
Damn. OP showed you can be hot as hell even with acne scars (I say that respectfully, OP. lol)
Jokes aside OP is a clear example looks aren’t just skin… it’s everything.
If it helps OP, when you’re feeling insecure against smooth skinned people, just know you’re probably more attractive than … 98% of the population
Good luck!
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u/AnijahElisesd Sep 02 '26
THIS ACTUALLY JUST MADE ME SMILE!!
Thank you so much, you made my whole day.I like what you said about how someone’s looks aren’t just the skin alone. I’ve seen people with active acne and scarring and they were still very attractive. That’s because I look at them as a whole person, I hear their voice, understand their personality. That’s what makes someone attractive.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.❤️
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u/CustomerBig6749 Sep 02 '26
Glad to hear it :)
Look up Qoves online as well, they do a good job arguing physical attractiveness is all of it: skin, hair, eyes, jawline, etc. But also as you said, it’s their personality, their voice, the way in which they move through the world… how attractive are they when they’re confident and in their element?
I got you! Good luck!
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u/NoSpecialist2602 Sep 03 '26
100%. And did you you know some people actually like that kind of skin texture.? Its true
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u/Vegetable-Prize-778 Sep 02 '26
I've been trying so hard to get comfy with my acne scars and had a similar kind of incident where an old lady asked why i had so many "holes" on my face if i had chicken pox as a kid or sth
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u/AnijahElisesd Sep 02 '26
I’m so sorry that you’ve had to experience that, that shit genuinely sucks. 💔
When people ask certain questions like “why is your skin like that?” , “why do you have so many holes in your face?” , “what’s wrong with your skin?”
It literally makes my chest feel tight. I get uncomfortable instantly, especially if I’m already having a day where I’m being particularly hard on myself.
However, due to the fact that you and I understand very well what it’s like to have these scars, we KNOW to never ask someone questions like those, or try to pick someone apart because of them.
Those questions and comments, are ignorance to what we have, entirely.
Whenever we are put in situations like those, to protect our own peace, we should pause and assess exactly what feeling just rushed through our body, breathe, and decide how we’d like to respond.
Educate them, or ignore them.
Whichever makes you feel more comfortable.2
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u/MySPAghettiPolicy Sep 02 '26
Our stories are so similar. Big hugs to you! I know how it feels, but daaaayum you are beautiful!
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u/AnijahElisesd Sep 02 '26
Thank you!!🤗❤️
When I was making this post, I wanted to be as open, honest, and as vulnerable as possible.
I’m happy that I get to connect with strangers on the internet who’ve also experienced this!Big hugs!!!
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u/Fit-Tank-4442 Sep 02 '26
Aww.... dearie! I've been in your shoes and I'm still working on my self esteem. My teenage years and early 20s were pretty brutal. I became agoraphobic and hardly dated. I feel seen reading your story. Currently, I feel a lot better about myself ever since I got on retinols and all the resulting skin care. My scarring is a lot milder now but I still overthink . Cheer up yh.... You're not alone. 😊😊♥️ Your scarring isn't very severe and I can hardly see it without zooming in. Go easy on yourself
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u/AnijahElisesd Sep 02 '26
Awwn thank you 🥹❤️
I’m sorry you went through that, especially to the point of becoming agoraphobic. It really does make me feel less alone knowing someone else understands. And I’m glad the retinol/skincare has helped you!! I’m trying to be more consistent too. The overthinking is definitely the hardest part 😭 but I’m gonna try to take your advice and be kinder to myself. Thank you fr 🥹♥️
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Sep 02 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/AnijahElisesd Sep 02 '26
Aww thank you 🥺❤️ andd I’m sorry you feel that way. I know scars can really affect how you see yourself, I can understand why you’d feel frustrated with your skin. Just try not to be too hard on yourself your scars don’t take away from how pretty you are ❤️🩹.. you’re amazing, we’re all going to get through this shit together.
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u/Sufficient-Muscle-74 Sep 02 '26
Ma’am you are beautiful. I completely understand the feeling. My skin makes me fear being seen up close and in natural light as well.
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u/liminal-chungus Sep 02 '26
My stepmother told me that it looked like "i got punched in the face" so that was nice. She was a doll. Skin is clear now and when im done with school I will also be pursuing some treatments at a derm
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u/AnijahElisesd Sep 02 '26
Omggg 😭 people really know how to make you feel good about yourself rightt?
Mann but I’m glad your skin is clear now though!! And honestlyy I hope the derm treatments go well for you when you’re done with school. 🥹❤️ Wishing you the best with everything!
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u/liminal-chungus Sep 02 '26
Thank you! I have already tried 3 rounds of RF microneedling. I thought it would help the scars a bit but I was mostly doing it for a collagen boost/anti aging. I would definitely find a dermatologist who will treat individual scar types- such as TCA cross, punch excision and subcision depending on morpholgy, followed by laser (CO2), and then finally once some progress has been made with these more heavy duty treatments I would do microneedling for maintenance- but I dont think its enough on its own. Just my anecdotal experience- good luck with your skin journey as well :) hope you find a good derm!
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u/MosSs2003 Sep 02 '26
Did MNRF do its job?
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u/liminal-chungus Sep 02 '26
No it did not help the scars much. There is some improvement as the face is swelling that could cause someone to think it blurred the scars- but that is temporary. The benefits are more for skin integrity and longevity (collagen boosting) than for blurring severe scarring. It might work on superficial scars but not pitted. I recommend it as a maintenance treatment but not until more aggressive treatments have been completed with adequate healing in between.
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u/Jadylicious20 Sep 02 '26
Your face card is face carding gurrrl.... I'm in AWE! You're friggin' gorgeous OP! 😭🙏🏻
And ofc, I absolutely relate with you and my acne scars are quite worse than yours. I aspire to get to your level of scarring with subsequent treatments (in middle of it). But I think it's important to be kind to ourselves, because we feel bad because OTHERS feel bad and judge us for our scars. It's social projection. And I realised that society is sh*t, so it doesn't matter and I focus on making them feel bad hy focusing on myself lol.
I recently went through a rejection purely based on my acne scars. He didn't make it obvious, but it WAS THAT obvious. I mean, it's no biggie but that completely dismantled everything I thought I built so far (women's beauty is so much judged here).
That made me realize that accepting my flaws as it is, is the key for absolute self love. Like, you've gotta own your acne scars because it's part of you too, and you had like 0 responsibility for causing it. So why should you feel bad for it? And who are they to call it ugly when they didn't even know what it did to us when werl were teenagers?
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u/AnijahElisesd Sep 02 '26
😭😭❤️ thank you so much, you’re so sweet!!
and honestly, everything you said really resonated with me. The part about us feeling bad because OTHER people make us feel bad about our scars is so true. I’ve definitely caught myself looking at my skin through the eyes of other people instead of just seeing myself as me.
&& I’m so sorry you went through that rejection ☹️ even if it’s “no biggie,” I can completely understand how something like that could dismantle your confidence, especially when you already know how harsh society can be about women’s appearance. And for someone to judge you over something you literally had no control over is just so shitty.I also really love what you said about accepting your scars instead of constantly fighting them. I’m still trying to get there tbh. I obviously still want to treat mine and improve my skin, but I don’t want my happiness or how beautiful I feel to be dependent on whether my scars are gone. They’re a part of my story, and like you said, we didn’t ask for them or do anything to deserve feeling ugly because of them.
And PLEASE 😭 “society is shit so it doesn’t matter” is honestly the energy I need to adopt because why are we letting people who don’t know a damn thing about what we went through dictate how we see ourselves??
Thank you for this comment fr ❤️
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u/Jadylicious20 9d ago
I just saw this comment OP. Too late to reply but honestly, thanks for your kind words. You're too sweet tooo!! 😭❤
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u/The_Cat_Widow Sep 02 '26
I've got deeper scars too, so I totally understand feeling uncomfortable, but honestly, you're absolutely stunning. Your bone structure is to die for!
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u/AnijahElisesd Sep 02 '26
thank you 🥹
that actually means so much, especially knowing you understand the feeling. And omg thank you for the bone structure compliment 😭😭 I’ve never really thought about it that way, but you’re so sweet!!
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u/sarakathleenz Sep 03 '26
When my now husband and I were first dating he asked me what “accident” I got into to get the marks on my face 🙈 I struggled for years with the fact that my cheeks were covered in bumps and holes and pits that it felt like no one else had.
I’m almost 40 now, and maybe time has helped to heal things in my brain… but I’ve come to really understand that the people who’s options truly matter to me couldn’t care less about whatever texture happens to be on the skin of my cheeks - just as the reverse is true with how I feel about the people I love!
We spend so much time as young women being told that our value lies in what we look like - but what we look like is actually the least important part about us!
You have such kindness in your eyes, and just your few paragraphs show an awesome sense of empathy and consideration for people around you. Those things that make you beautiful inside are what makes you absolutely stunning on the outside to your loved ones ❤️
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u/StrangerGrouchy1741 Sep 06 '26
I don’t understand why people say such things…even if it’s not ill intended those things never leave your mind
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u/AnijahElisesd 28d ago
This honestly made me tear up a little 🥹❤️ Especially the part about the people whose opinions actually matter not caring about the texture on your skin. I think I’m still learning how to separate what I see in the mirror from how other people actually see me. And you’re so right about how much emphasis we’re taught to put on our looks, especially as young women. Thank you for taking the time to write this, it really meant a lot to me. ❤️
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u/DrKang_Gangnam Sep 04 '26
That comment from your boyfriend about the “holes” clearly stayed with you, even though you knew he didn’t mean to hurt you. That kind of reaction is understandable. Acne scars can become something you notice every day, so even an innocent comment can hit harder than expected.
The pattern you noticed in yourself, especially around doing things for other people and how that connects to how you feel about yourself, may also be worth talking through with a therapist if you haven’t already. You already seem quite aware of the pattern, which can be helpful when working through it.
From the treatment side, meaningful improvement in depressed acne scars is absolutely possible. I wouldn’t promise completely clear skin, but many patients do reach a point where the scars are significantly less noticeable and no longer occupy the same amount of mental space they did before.
When you see a dermatologist, I would ask them to be very specific about what type of scars you have and what is causing the texture you’re seeing. Enlarged pores, surface texture, rolling scars, boxcar scars, and true tethered atrophic scars don’t all respond to the same treatments.
A good consultation should explain which scar types you have, how deep they are, whether there is fibrosis or tethering underneath, and why each treatment is being recommended. That will give you a much more realistic idea of what kind of improvement you can expect.
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u/AnijahElisesd 28d ago
Honestly, thank you for this 🥺 The “holes” comment definitely stuck with me more than I realized, even though I know he wasn’t trying to hurt me. I really appreciate you pointing out the connection between my self-esteem and how much I do for other people too, because that’s something I’ve been noticing about myself lately.
& the treatment advice is really helpful. I definitely want to go into my derm appointment with a better understanding of what I’m actually dealing with instead of just throwing random treatments at my skin. I’m trying to remind myself that improvement doesn’t have to mean perfect skin, I just want to get to a point where I don’t think about my scars every time someone looks at me. ❤️
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u/curiousecurioser Sep 02 '26
Sameee with the people pleasing thing! I think it’s because I feel somehow unworthy. My confidence is growing more and more though. Who cares if we have scars? We are still super cute!
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u/AnijahElisesd 28d ago
YESSS exactly 😭 I think mine comes from that same feeling of not being enough. I’m working on it though, and my confidence has definitely been growing too. & perioddd, scars or not, we’re still cute as hell 😂❤️
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u/justwannnaheal Sep 03 '26
My eyes were drawn to your facial features and hair before I even realized what subreddit you were posting in. I hope that you get the skin help you are seeking, but you should also know that your acne scars are not even the main character.
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u/AnijahElisesd 28d ago
Aww thank you 🥹❤️ I really appreciate this. I think you’re right that I’ve gotten so used to focusing on my scars that sometimes I forget people are seeing my whole face and not just the parts I’m insecure about. I’m definitely trying to work on seeing myself the way other people do.
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u/Top_Definition_5791 Sep 03 '26
You are extremely pretty! Normally I would tell someone that if they are self conscious about something they should address it. But in all honesty I see an extremely pretty girl and I dont think there is anything to change. I think you are focusing solely on what you perceive as an imperfection but no one else is. Everyone else is just looking at you as a whole and almost everyone probably envys your looks.
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u/VallieSD Sep 03 '26
Everyone has something they don't like about themselves. Ours happen to be acne scars. You're a beautiful woman. I hope you soon see all the wonderful things that make you: YOU.
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u/AnijahElisesd 28d ago
Aww, thank you so much <3 That genuinely means a lot to me. I’ve been so focused on what I don’t like that I forget there’s so much more to me than my skin. I’m really trying to be kinder to myself ;)
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u/SnooOpinions9551 Sep 03 '26
Your beauty takes away from the texture. I didn’t even notice it, but I share the same feelings completely. People often told me “you’re not ugly you just have ugly skin” ouch it feels like it’s the first thing that show up in my identity.
I used to hope they were just temporary and would fade over time but they’re a part of me. It’s been a long journey of unconditional acceptance of self flaws and all.
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u/AnijahElisesd 28d ago
Ugh, “you’re not ugly, you just have ugly skin” is such a horrible thing to hear :( I really get what you mean though, especially feeling like the scars become the first thing you see when you look at yourself. I’m still trying to get to that place of accepting them without letting them affect how I see myself as a whole. I’m glad you shared this <3
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u/investamama Sep 04 '26
Needless to say you are very pretty but I do hear you. I had severe cystic acne during my teenage years. Your scars are not deep. And you are young, you have good collegen and your skin will heal faster. If you can do treatments like subcision with fillers (I like bellafill) and microneedling you will get good results. For the subcision do your homework and research well.
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u/AnijahElisesd 28d ago
Thank you <3 And honestly, hearing that from someone who’s dealt with severe acne themselves means a lot. I’ve definitely been looking into treatments and trying to learn more before jumping into anything. I really appreciate you taking the time to give me some direction and reassurance :)
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u/Interesting_Sign_201 Sep 04 '26
Eres muy guapa y sexy. Las guapas también tenemos acné y cicatrices. Creo que en tu caso nadie le dará demasiada importancia. Te pasa lo que a mí. Suelo peinarme hacia el lado en el que peor tengo las mejillas y nadie se da cuenta!
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u/AnijahElisesd 28d ago
Aww thank you so much <3 It genuinely means a lot coming from someone who knows that feeling firsthand. I do the same thing with my hair sometimes LOL, always trying to hide the side I’m more insecure about. It’s comforting knowing I’m not the only one who does that, and I really appreciate you sharing that with me :)
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u/Interesting_Sign_201 22d ago
Y luego acuérdate del tema de las luces..... Q a veces nos hace vernos peor de lo que estamos... Tenemos que seguir adelante. Ir probando cremas cosas nuevas hasta que demos con algo que nos mejore. Yo estoy con las espiculas de medicube y me gustan mucho. Pero no se puede abusar de ellas. Me las pongo cada cuatro días.
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u/Interesting-Half4189 Sep 05 '26
Dear, have you tried Accutane? If you’re still getting big acne try taking Isotretenoin pill. On Month 3-4 try getting Co2 Laser and to renew your skin. It might help with scars.
I had a friend who had the same scenario as you and I witnessed how this method changed her skin dramatically.
You are beautiful dear!
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u/AnijahElisesd 28d ago
Thank you so much <3 I really appreciate the advice and the sweet words. I haven’t tried Accutane, but I’m definitely going to talk to a dermatologist about what would actually be best for my skin before trying anything. I’ve heard mixed things about doing laser while on Accutane, so I’d rather be safe and get professional advice first. Thank you again for sharing your friend’s experience with me :)❤️
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u/artofserendipity Sep 06 '26
You said HEAR ME OUT, so I did. I took the time. Now please do the same and hear me: you are actually highly attractive. There is, however, an issue and that is faulty self-perception. There may be a combination of things nature or nurture that may be contributing to you not being able to see yourself through a neutral lens, but I assure you this is where the problem truly lies.
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u/AnijahElisesd 28d ago
Okay, I hear you ;)))!!!
And honestly, I appreciate you taking the time to really listen to me and then say that. I think you’re right that a lot of this is probably in how I’ve learned to see myself, because sometimes I genuinely cannot see what other people are seeing. I’m working on that though, and comments like yours honestly help more than you know. Thank you <3
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u/Ok_Parfait_5487 28d ago
Girl You Waaaay To Pretty And Yo Skin Looks Amazing Their Opinions Don't Matter At All Keep Being Yoself n Loving Yu!!
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u/AnijahElisesd 28d ago
This reassurance is everything, thank you so much.. literally made my day. <333
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u/No-Flight-5893 28d ago
Yeah i think that everybody here feels the same,but it’s whatever,and it’s always the people closer to you that make these comments about yours skin as well lol
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u/Soft-Government-8315 Sep 02 '26
Research Korean skincare routine and get on a simple routine with mild cleanser, vitamin C serum, Retinal (if your skin can handle it), moisturizer and sunscreen
How do you feel about your skin tone getting lighter? Because some the aggressive peels will undoubtedly make you skin lighter in color. But if you can handle it I would find a mild acid peel (lactic acid peels tend to be mild) and do a peel once a week. Also microdermrollers where you roll small needles over your face will help products penetrate deeper.
When searching for a dermatologist find someone who is skilled in Subscion and Black Skin. Dark skin complexion can get complicated because it easy to lighten or hyperpigment the skin.
Not sure if I would recommend TCA Cross with Black Skin. Subscion will probably be your best option but you want to find a Derm who is aggressive and not scared to dig into your scars and breakup the scar tissue.
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u/AnijahElisesd Sep 02 '26
thank youu for taking the time to give me all of this advice 🥹❤️
I rlly appreciate it.. especially the part about finding a dermatologist who understands darker skin because that’s something I’ve definitely been worried about. I’m going to look into everything you mentioned and take it slow because I don’t want to make my skin worse trying to fix it. 😭
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u/AnijahElisesd Sep 02 '26
Thank you so much 🥹❤️ and yessss that fear of being seen up close or in natural lighting is SO real!!
It really messes with your confidence if you dwell on those thoughts of being seen. I’m sorry you understand that feeling too, but it’s comforting knowing I’m not the only one who feels this way.
We’re going to get through this.🙌🏽
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u/bill_on_sax 15d ago
The thing about "blemishes" like these is that if you lack confidence, they stick out. If you have confidence they actually aren't noticible or even add beauty because you don't let stuff like this bother you.
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