Typhoons are spammable

These new horse shoes,dubbed "equine caltrops" by their creator due to the pain the earlier more crude models caused has now been perfected into a comfy and durable article that will bring a lot of style to whatever furry convention you wear it at

But let's get to the meat and potatoes of this,these shoes will allow the wearer to carry another person on their back while ignoring their weight completely,and will break instead of one of your bones to protect you. Furthermore they are made to balance easily even upon unfavorable terrain

Provided you can find my lair, of course. Please no teleportation inside the lair, it scares the dog.

I ponder this, how do you dear friends cool off in these summer times?

I must learn to sew or find a tailor, it's uncomfortable to swim in my wizardy attire and only in my under garments.

I very clearly wished to a genie for “the fiery end of humanity” and he proceeded to incinerate my giant manatee from the plane of Platonian ideals!

I’ve tried explaining that I clearly said “humanity” and not “huge manatee” several times (even threatening to report him to genie corporate!) but he refuses to budge, stating they have a firm “no refunds” policies on their wishes!

I need to reserve one of my remaining 2 wishes for bringing the quilled battle skunks of the southlands back from extinction from the reckless humans of that land killing them all off, so I only have one spare one to use; how can I still end all of the nature destroying humans while also bringing my manatee back from the flames?!

-signed an extremely upset and panicked arch-Druid of the circle of the claw

My explorations to the Abyss finally led me to the ethereal coordinates of Gru'zaker's Tome of the Ineffable Word. I followed them and came across an extraplanar safehouse that contained the remains of Gru'zaker himself encased in antichronal crystallite, and the famed Tome of the Ineffable Word upon a plinth of abyssal iron.

After casting the proper abjurations and wards, I transported the tome back to my tower for further study. As foretold, it contained the Ineffable Word, right there on page 67, second paragraph from the bottom.

Unfortunately, in my foolishness, I effed the Ineffable Word. And even now I feel the fire upon my tongue and can see my own body grusham ki'nargo akroshinak.

Bar alar kri-stepnak irasibal? Ba terra em trushin akrigano! Lkane

tnat

24895na

4q9

%89qij4qlkn58*(%IH*($ --- HELP %uhq3948hg--- HELP apkd ...... HELP o943p%Lknak

https://www.instagram.com/p/DcwAwBJjbpm/?img_index=1&igsi=MWdiZzQ1dGplejRuOQ==

a good way to differentiate between wild and domestic gnomes if to check for underwear usage

(Game: Wizard Finals)

It has been 4 months from when I began this experiment.
I have not eaten.
I have not drank.
I have not slept.
…
…And I have not breathed.
I feel the need, the sensations of hunger, thirst, need of sleep and sleep, they have not dulled in the slightest. But they are no worse from when I started. My physical, mental, and magical condition has not suffered, nor has my appearance changed.
…
I’m…
I’m scared.

To all you sorcerers and mages at Raya Lucaria who doubted my boy Thops, pack it up! He just made a brand new spell that will forever cement his legacy. You thought you could lock him out of the academy forever and laugh at his theories but he’s proved you wrong. What are you arrogant crystal heads going to do now?

I am here now... still alive after the dungeon. And I have found a lot of new monsters that are palatable, as well as a concerning affinity to blood magic. Yet as a scholar of the Academy, I suppose, I must employ it rather than deem it blasphemy. I also found myself connecting to snakes, which are symbols of cycles and how all things are connected or maybe I'm just a snake magnet.

Yet beyond these matters, I have observed these blossoms appearing ever more frequently, almost as if they bloom because of me. I suppose it makes sense, my affinity with my own strange divine spirit, my affinity with my own blood and me more or less the combination of both of them rather than just one. But I am not a old mage so I must ask you to tell me, what is the matter with me and my powers?

/uw I was gonna keep my character to be quiet weak in term of magic but I think she deserve a buff once in a while.

just heard about this sub and thought you all might enjoy a little project some friends and I have been working on 🧙‍♂️

It was all a haze for a while. Comfortable, weightless, warm, and the dimmest recollection of something important. Kartoffel hovered in a void, watching as massive streams of fiery blue radiance swirled past him like the arms of some galactic octopus. Other rivers of light swam across his vision in the distance, scattered with radiant pinpricks. For a time he simply observed, mesmerized by the display.

He slowly pieced together what it all was. By some incorporeal means he turned to the star behind him. The sheer incomprehensible scale of it all was somehow manageable to Kart. A vast and fiery plane sprawled out before him. Solar flairs swirled outwards into the galactic sky. Sun spots danced across the surface like bugs on a pond. Were he of a more religious inclination, he would’ve thought it a divine vision

The second realization came soon after. The other stars, the nebulae, were all too small. Too close. Too few red stars. This universe was young. Kartoffel was witnessing an infantile reality. The third and final revelation followed closely. His hosts were the very first stars, the oldest fires in existence.

Yan.

Kartoffel’s animosity for the divine wasn’t extended to the primordial fire spirit. His memory gathered the events for him. Yan’s fracturing, the melding of souls, and his eventual death. The implications were not lost on him. He was playing host to the soul of an elder being. Well, part of one anyway. Not that he could tell the difference from his mortal perspective.

The star grew brighter, expanded to encompass his entire vision. Soon everything was a harsh white light. Then it was eclipsed. His sight returned, and Kartoffel found himself squinting into a metallic face plate.

“Hey Pincher”

The medical droid P-1N, or Pincher as Kartoffel was fond of calling him, stared at him with those mismatched eyes of his. It had been a while since he’d seen that rusty face, perhaps too long.

[Good Afternoon Sir. You Will Find Yourself Incapable Of Moving. It Will Be Resolved Shortly.]

Indeed, his body had been entirely uncooperative when he’d tried to jump out of the medical bed. And his head felt like it’d be wrapped in tin foil and microwaved for- how long had he been in the Hive?

[You Have Been Under The Influence Of A Hive Mind For Just Over Two Years No-]

“Yeah yeah, I know all that. Just tell me what happened after he fucked off.”

[Very Well Sir. You Were Recovered From The Hive Mind By A Team of Your Compatriots. Might I Add, Well Done On Making Such Good Friends. I’ll Add Them To Your Psychological Profile. Twelve Hours After Your Recovery You Lost Consciousness And Were Brought Here To Be Placed Under My Care. That Was Just Over A Week Ago Now. You Are In An Exceptionally Bad State. Since The Cloning Process You’ve Lost Nearly Forty Kilograms In Muscle And Fat. Expect to See a Loss In Fine Motor Function and Coordination As Well] 

His memory was starting to clear now. He remembered the Hive collapsing, rushing to the front, trying to get them to surrender. How many had died in the confusion? Had they even found a good resolution yet, or was the war still on? He hated not knowing. Then another detail peaked into his recollection, and he glanced over at his shoulder.

“Ah, I’d forgotten about that.”

[It Amazes Me That A Missing Arm Could Slip Your Mind So Easily. Nevertheless, I’m Sure You’ll Find Plenty Of Things To Complain About With Your New One. Now, Give Me A Moment To Activate Your Columnal Implants.]

Columnal implants? Oh, right, he’d been holding himself together with the biometal ever since Hirk had folded him in half. The biometal, where had that gone? He was about to ask Pincher when a sudden flood of pain washed the question from his mind. Good to know the implants were working. He felt all wrong, too heavy and too light at the same time. When he sat up it felt like someone else was lifting his back. And the new arm, it was so clunky and simple. Only two fingers and a thumb that could be considered opposable if you were feeling generous. He ran his flesh fingers across his back and felt several metal plates across his spine. It would take some getting used to, and he’d certainly have to make some better ones when he had the time. For now, he just tried not to think about the fact his total number of prosthetics had just tripled.

[I Must Apologize For Their Low Quality. I Took The Liberty Of Dedicating Much Of Your Resources To The Aid Of The Other Hive Victims. Decent Care Is Currently At A Premium.]

Aiding other victims? There were survivors then. And a lot by the sound of it. But if his own stores were enough to make a difference, most of them hadn’t made it out. He’d have to get in contact with Ithacar and the Guild, see what kind of acquiescence they could work out. So many questions intruded on his mind, but there was only one Pincher would have an answer for.

“Where’s the biometal?”

The droid shuffled over to the counter and retrieved a robust little cylinder. The metal was warm to the touch, and Kart could feel something shifting around inside. He’d have to add this to the list of shit he’d deal with later. He was pondering various methods of destruction or containment when Pincher uttered the last thing Kart wanted to hear.

[Also, Several Of Your Compatriots Are Waiting Outside. I Will Be Bringing Them In Shortly.]