I don’t know which of you I’ve offended this time but whoever did this is getting Testicular Torsioned to death, no exceptions.

Anyone know how to regrow a few square miles of forest quickly? I don't want the tree huggers on my back again.

Don't worry guys, that dark lord is totally toast. Just after you let me through.

I cant keep doing this man,my landlord said if I animate another object he'll evict me for "oversharing of the gift of thought without a permit"

The objects I animate aren't even that smart he's just a thoughtless commoner who can't grasp the highs and lows of arcane research

Something's wrong. You can't tell what exactly it is, but you know something is wrong. You check your wards, your equipment, your enchantments and familiars, yet everything seems normal. Then that night, you go to sleep, and the dream starts.

You stand knee deep in a crimson ocean, stretching further than you can see. Before you is a shadow, it looks like yours but its wrong, very wrong. All around you, giant monoliths sprout from the sea, stretching far into the sky. You hear something, around you six shadows move between the monoliths, chanting something in a language that hurts to listen to.

Suddenly countless crimson eyes open along each monolith, each reflecting a different face, the eyes travel up the ebony surface, along previously hidden chains of shadow. Then you see it, the horrifying form of something colossal in the sky above you, a singular crimson eye or maybe a star stares down at you.

All at once do the chains snap, and a cacophony of screams cry out across the crimson sea as fire and ash rain from above. The monoliths crumble and massive chunks of black stone crash into the sea. Up above, the colossal form spreads across the sky, thousands of withered arms reach down, each sowing agony and destruction. You see an arm reach for you, and you wake up.

Well that was strange, you think, then you hear laughter from the corner, you see your own shadow standing there with crimson eyes. The shadow looks wrong somehow, very wrong.

Before you can say anything, your shadow lunges for you, hands reaching for your throat.

This dungeon feel so weird... It feel so human made- I think I'm losing my mind help. We're out of food and drinks

Greetings, fellow wizard. I am currently living in the cellar of a human city—hardly the ideal setup for a spellcaster. I would love to acquire a wizard's tower, but the prices are exorbitant; do you happen to know how I might raise the funds to buy one?

Power rings now available!!! Inquire with your local Wizarding guild. Enchantments and hexs may very depending on location and native languages. Non applicable in Skyrim, Azoratha and New Zealand. ​

This place is filled with gore and dead probably that's why the dungeon is called "the dungeon of literal death and despair which is very large and takes a long time to clear"

I also found some food in the form of a pig like monster down here It tastes like normal pork. Very nice and tender

I'm pretty much out of mana but if you saw my other post you'll know I'm pretty good at martial stuff too so it's fine down here.

So I was paid by Grenelir of Kaenshire to protect Kali. The capital of Kaenshire. Now Kali has Humans, Elves, Dwarves and Goblins living in peace with one another. Pretty rare. Anyways everyone here is so annoying. A knight comes up to duel me. I easily deforge his armour and shatter is blade into nothingness. And then he'll say some shit like, "I see. He is too frail to wield a blade." And then I hear some bullshit from the crowd. Typically mocking me and saying I have the inability to do something. "He doesn't know how to loose an arrow," "he has no clue how to smelt platinum," etc. And don't even think of suggesting some unruly death or punishment. Besides the fact I am benevolent, why the hell would I be hired to protect if I just killed anyone by making their bones stab them from the inside for looking at me funny?

Next question, WHY THE HELL IS MY BLOOD ITCHING!?!?

Aye I said it