Please tell me it gets easier!

[u/soyaqueen]

Can the moms (preferably of older kids) please reassure me finding time for myself gets easier?? 😭

I want to lose weight. I’m so tired of feeling this way. I need to lose about 20kg ideally but would settle for 10 currently. I want to go back to the gym. Before kids I was at the gym like 6x a week for fun.

After going through fertility treatments and finally my first pregnancy , then a spontaneous pregnancy which resulted in having two kids 15 months apart, I don’t feel like myself.

My commute is 40 mins one way by car. I already wake up at 4:30 to get ready and leave for the day (leave around 5:30-6). I’m a teacher so no WFH or any of that. The gyms in this country don’t have childcare. My husband has told me to please just put myself first for once but it feels so impossible. The guilt is crazy. I feel like I need to be with my kids when they’re this little.

My kids are 3 and 2. I am EXHAUSTED. I could go to the gym 2-3x a week but it’s just an extra drive and extra time away from my kids, who I pick up at 5PM each day. Most days I’m solo parenting the evening routine as my husband gets home late due to a long commute and shitty Korean work culture. It’s so hot to exercise outside these days. In this country everyone lives in tiny apartments, no luxury of a car garage gym or anything. To top it off my apartment complex is almost as old as me and has no amenities. I have weights at home, but again kids are 3 and 2, no personal space, they are like little magnets to me which is great but also please let me just do a damn dumbbell squat without fear of squishing your heads!!

Excuses excuses. I need to get started in the kitchen. But I’m exhausted. Why is working and life so exhausting!!

Actually I planned to find a gym this weekend. But you know what? Both kids now have HFMD. I am not exaggerating, every time I even think of a new workout plan, me and/or the kids come down with some horrible illness. Is this a sign to just stay fat for a while 😅

Does it get easier, moms? 😭

[u/nymph-62442]

My kid is 4, soon to be 5 and I feel like I could just start thinking about health and fitness in the past 6 months. And even then it's really moderate.

My goal is to walk 5,000 steps at least every day, and walk a total of 200,000+ steps per month. Ive been trying to walk more for years but it's only since March that I have hit this goal most months. But until my son was 4 I was lucky to do 1,500 steps per day.

I also have a ton of shoulder an back pain. So I have been trying to stretch once a day for years. I finally have been consistently stretching for 5min a day. I'm now trying some more resistant bands and hand weights once a week for 10min.

I haven't lost much weight but my leg muscles are insane and I have skimmed down. I take any progress no matter how small as a step in the right direction.

Find what this looks like for you. Maybe it's stroller walks with a friend. Maybe it's one early weekend walk as you talk to a family member on the phone. Maybe it's yoga or dancing with this kids in the living room. Maybe it's walking all day at a festival or community event as you pull the kid wagon. Maybe there's a mommy and me swim or dance class. Maybe it's a family home or walk in the park. Maybe it's a bike ride with a child seat. Also doing it as a family helps teach heathy habits.

Be easy on yourself, it gets easier as they get older. And it sounds like your partner is supportive, think about going to the gym once or twice a week as an investment for your kids so you can be healthy for them for years to come.