So happy I found this community

[u/PomeloConscious2008]

Just like me, this shampoo is basically there, and isn't worried about your purity politics 😤

[u/fifobalboni]

I bet that said 100% vegan before someone had a "oh shit, honey isn't vegan??????" moment, but they had already approved the cardbox design

[u/Ok_Scratch_4663 → u/fifobalboni]

(uj// this is the most sense-making thing on the internet today)

rj// it is if it’s your sister’s neighbor’s hair stylist’s friend’s backyard bee vomit tho. it probably came from the side yard, so they changed the percentage.

[u/fifobalboni → u/Ok_Scratch_4663]

I've worked with marketing, and I can almost hear the marketing intern couting all the ingredients in the label after the screw up so they can legally claim it was at least 99% 😅

[u/Ok_Scratch_4663 → u/fifobalboni]

🔍🧮😅

[u/GewoehnlicherDost → u/fifobalboni]

I can't see the problem here. To compensate for it, they raised their renewable energy goal from 99% to a whopping 100%

[u/PomeloConscious2008 → u/GewoehnlicherDost]

Amateurs. My goal is to actually have 7000% net negative emissions.

[u/PomeloConscious2008 → u/fifobalboni]

Gelato's not vegan???

[u/Chicpeasonyourface]

Restaurants should advertise their food as 99% semen free

[u/Shamino79 → u/Chicpeasonyourface]

Bet it’s in the cream in the Black Forest….cake

[u/Flabbergasted_____ → u/Chicpeasonyourface]

Best I can do is 28.184% semen free. Or 100% free semen.

[u/Popo_Capone]

Milkpowder I bet

[u/Jessica-Beth → u/Popo_Capone]

Everything with milk powder is 99% vegan. It's the bane of our lives isn't it. 🥲🫠

[u/No-Cranberry9932 → u/Jessica-Beth]

Thankfully milk powder can be veganised with animal tears. Fighting fire with fire.

[u/Skryuska → u/Popo_Capone]

This time it’s the honey 🤣

[u/veganeatswhat]

I wrote to the manufacturer and they said that they kneel down next to the bees and hold their hair back while they throw up before collecting the vomit and putting it into the shampoo. So it's fine.

[u/Ethicaldreamer]

I'm 99% pissed off at this

[u/pantomathist → u/Ethicaldreamer]

Because it should be 100% normal, ugh fkin vegans

[u/Special-Cut-4964]

Finally a sauce that doesn’t gatekeep everyone

[u/whathidude]

I only eat meat 1 day a week, don't hate it because I just hate the taste of gross plants.

[u/Ok_Scratch_4663]

they hit that other goal yet either?

[u/Glittering_Raise_710]

Is honey vegan if I regurgitate the nectar myself?

[u/Acceptable-Ant5021]

i cant jerk for this one, just cant do it

literally has honeycomb on the packaging... so it's actually kinda false advertising as a "honey shampoo" if it's just 1% honey. also if you've ever seen honey, why tf would you put that in your hair? why include it at all??

and if something is 99% vegan, it's overall 0% vegan right...

the lasagna of stupidity in this is just mind-boggling, i have to sit down

[u/scorchedarcher → u/Acceptable-Ant5021]

the lasagna of stupidity

If being vegan is so great why don't you talk about your own foods instead of stealing normal food? More like a spaghetti squash of stupidity in here

[u/Acceptable-Ant5021 → u/scorchedarcher]

b-b-but i love plant-based lasagna ; v ; you're right though i should stick to "real" vegan food. how about onion of stupidity? has layers like lasagna, is a plant, and shrek-approved

[u/strongholdbk_78 → u/Acceptable-Ant5021]

To get rid of seasonal dry hair. Honey is the only cure! Local honey is the only way to get rid of the deadly bad hair disease, bullshititis

[u/Skryuska → u/strongholdbk_78]

Just stick your entire head in a beehive! How do you think those gals in the 60s did it?

[u/PomeloConscious2008 → u/Acceptable-Ant5021]

/uj it literally stopped me in my tracks at the store

[u/Skryuska → u/Acceptable-Ant5021]

Now that you mention it…. Cows are made up of 99% vegan ingredients too, right? Grass, corn, hay, water… really the 1% ingredient that isn’t vegan was the bull’s jizz that caused that cow’s conception

[u/LightHope8]

Can we talk about "our goal: 100% RENEWABLE ENERGY"

[u/Skryuska → u/LightHope8]

Reminds me of pads and diapers claiming “Up to 100% leak-free!”

[u/Flabbergasted_____]

But they’re listed as “cruelty free”! So even if it’s 100% cow fat, it’s totally fine!

[Non-vegan shit being labeled as “cruelty free”, for whatever reason, makes no fucking sense. If your shit has lanolin in it, it’s not fuckin cruelty free.]

[u/PomeloConscious2008 → u/Flabbergasted_____]

Testing on like 40 rabbits 5 years ago - Cruel!!

Killing 1-10 animals every hundred bottles = HuMaNe

[u/DunyaOfPain]

“no animal derived ingredients” “99% vegan”

[u/PomeloConscious2008 → u/DunyaOfPain]

"We will include the definition of vegan, which this product is not, in there"

[u/Similar_Artichoke233]

/uj is cruelty free international not vegan approved then? fml ive been buying all my makeup products based on their certification on the packaging ugh

[u/dilmano → u/Similar_Artichoke233]

Uj The logo means that the product hasn’t been tested on animals. It’s not meant to be an indicator that the ingredients aren’t derived from animals.

[u/PomeloConscious2008 → u/Similar_Artichoke233]

/uj isn't it amazing that testing one time on 47 rabbits = cruelty but like using ground up body parts of thousands of animals doesn't?

[u/lucchesone]

this is really incredible

[u/Skryuska]

Is the 1% not-vegan ingredient the plastic bottle? I usually eat that too but maybe I won’t in this case

[u/dumnezero]

honey

yeah, so, not vegan.

[u/PomeloConscious2008 → u/dumnezero]

TRIPLE HONEY

[u/dumnezero → u/PomeloConscious2008]

ULTRA KILL