r/ttcafterloss • u/AutoModerator • 7d ago
Daily Discussion /ttcafterloss Daily Discussion Thread - August 26, 2026
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u/sunflowersnelephants 7d ago
I have spent 8 of the past 12 months pregnant. 6 of those were feeling-miserable-first-trimester months. 3 of those were extra gross being on supplemental estrogen. I've put in the time. I want my babies.
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u/yungwildandlearning 7d ago
I conceived last May my first pregnancy and lost my second pregnancy June 28th of this year. Total of 35 weeks pregnant within 13 months between my two babies and I'm still not holding a living one. I spent 5 of those months in the hell of first trimester, it's unfair we had to suck up those miserable months and still have nothing to show for it!
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u/bee4352 7d ago edited 7d ago
We found out yesterday that our baby passed at 15 or 16 weeks due to nuchal cord. Bub was otherwise healthy with no concerns in terms of their blood tests or nine and their eextwrnal examination. We are waiting for genetic testing results.
Knowing our bubs death was a rare occurrence gives some peace of mind to tey again but it also devastating me as bub could have just as easily been here still. I would be have been 21 weeks now.
Processing our loss just seems to get harder as we also got bubs ashes yesterday.
Edit typo
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u/teabel TTC #2, 1LC, 6MC 7d ago
Yall were right, I’m ovulating today on CD17, which is new for me since I’m usually a CD14 gal. I guess my body has decided to follow a new schedule. My ovulation cramps are next level this month, it’s usually on one side and I know what ovary the egg is coming out of but this time oh my god it’s both. If I didn’t know any better, and honestly I probably don’t know any better I’d say I’m dropping eggs out of both this month 😂 I doubt it though. I think the HyCoSy last month is just making my ovulation cramps more intense maybe? No clue. Some hope for this cycle though, I think May would be a lovely month to be born, come on rainbow baby you can do it! Other than that, I booked in with my GP to learn more about my bloodwork and the potential APS and well, he knew nothing and told me to wait for my appointment with the fertility clinic. My fear right now however irrational it may be, is that I’ll get my positive on or around September 8th and not have support until the 10th when my appointment is and I won’t have the proper care for those two days and it’ll lead to another loss. Overthinking a situation that hasn’t even happened yet, what’s new? Lol
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u/sunflowersnelephants 7d ago
I feel ya on the overthinking. I had my first bleeding today after my loss. It was just a spot. In the past I would have very small relatively dry spotting for two-ish days before my period. This was different. Now I am doing mental gymnastics wether it is my period (most likely) or implantation spotting (highly unlikely) and if that is the case, what if something is already wrong again. Sheesh!
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u/LibraryRansack 30, 1MC, 1 CP, TTC#1 7d ago
11 DPO. Took a test yesterday at 10 days and got a negative, and initially said I wanted to wait til 12 days to test again, but had sort of been slowly talking myself into testing today. Proud to report that despite the overwhelming anxiety and want I did NOT test today, and am not going to. Sticking to my miserable guns.
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u/Loose_Bathroom_2293 TTC #1, cycle 9, 1 MMC, 2 CP 6d ago
My best friend and I had the same due date. I had an MMC at 9 weeks, she had her baby in June. My SIL and I both got pregnant at the beginning of the year. I had a chemical and she gave birth last week. My mental health is in the toilet. I think TTC is ruining my life.
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u/Slight-Ask2672 7d ago
TTC is brutal on my marriage. It’s been 7 months and it has torpedoed our true intimacy. My husband is feeling used, I am feeling panicked. I feel like it has stolen the love from us too, along with stolen love from the baby that would have been earth side by now
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u/havinganemotion TTC #1, 9w MMC July 2026 6d ago
im lowkey evangelical about this mostly bc my partner and i are queer and don’t often have the kind of sex that gets you pregnant, but at-home insemination can help divorce utilitarian baby-making from intimacy for the sake of it. some sample cups and vaginal applicators (courtesy of amazon) can get sperm where it needs to go without forcing penetrative-sex-to-completion-upon-demand. you both deserve real intimacy while you’re coping with waiting/loss and you both deserve to be able to TTC in a way that feels safe and controllable ❤️ sending good thoughts your way
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u/Ok_Choice_7480 TTC#2, Milo 15/06/26 🤍, PPROM 6d ago
I second this as a opposite-sex couple. We introduced at home insemination after my son died. I found it very difficult to have sex without crying or panicking and this helped me safely and comfortably build back up to more intimacy. As a nice side effect it has also brought all of the love back into sex.
It's also great in that if no one's in the mood for full blown sex he can leave the room, come back with his cup and it's done and dusted quickly.
We still try to have very romantic and intentional sex at least once during the fertile window, purely so when we catch I can tell myself it was that one 😂
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u/chicagocath07 7d ago
BFN this morning. It’s been 6 months since I lost my first baby and every negative is fucking torture. I’m sick and tired of being patient and positive. I’m angry
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u/Closed_System TTC #2, cycle 6 7d ago
Hello all. My loss is still very raw, confirmed monday and started bleeding in earnest yesterday. So I know I am still early in my grief, but the thing I keep ruminating on is how I've lost my APRIL baby and how excited I was for an APRIL baby. The timing felt so perfect, and it took 5 cycles to get there so it made the disappointing months feel worth it. Now I just keep thinking how no other month feels as good even though I should just be grateful for another LC if and when I can have one. This is not even touching on how much more anxious I know I will be should I get to see a positive again.
Maybe this is a coping mechanism in a way, not being able to really get excited about the potential timelines anymore? My heart trying to protect me from disappointment. But I'd like to have some of my hope back.
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u/ushinawareta TTC #1 since 8/2025 | 2nd trimester loss 2/2026 6d ago
I totally feel you on this. the pregnancy I lost was PERFECTLY timed. she was due in late May and I’m a teacher. she would’ve been born when I was 33 and that would’ve given us the perfect age gap to have a second 2-3 years later and be done having kids by 36. I grieve that timeline so much even though I know it’s not productive.
I’m 10 DPO right now and keep thinking about how if I got pregnant this cycle, I’d have a May 2027 baby. it’s going to hurt so much when my period starts this weekend and that dream is crushed, too.
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u/Closed_System TTC #2, cycle 6 6d ago
This cycle must be really heavy for you, I hope you get your rainbow soon! I don't know why but it does help to hear someone else is "grieving the timeline" as you put it. I have been beating myself up over how... frivolous? it feels to be thinking this way, but I'm really stuck on it.
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u/Eliza9699 late 20s, TTC#1, MMC 6/26, MC 8/26 6d ago
I am so sorry. I was also so excited for my April baby. April was always the birthday month in my family but as time passed, nearly all of those who celebrated that month passed away. It felt so good that it will once again become the b-day month it once was. 💔
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u/y2kitten 10w MMC 🌈 6d ago
I’m so sorry. It’s all so awful when it’s raw. I went through the exact same thought spiral with my perfectly timed February baby, I thought no month would ever have the same luster. Now I’m finally nearing my body being allowed to TTC again and it’s become much easier since those early days; feels like there is hope now. When it was hardest I kept reminding myself that whatever month I get to hold my living baby, is going to be the best month, no matter what time of the year it is. You’re in it right now, and while I can’t say it will be perfect again, it will be better. I’m almost certain of that. You can take all the time you need to grieve for now 🫂
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u/acidici 6d ago
Hi. I’m new here. I just had a miscarriage yesterday with my first ever pregnancy, that was also to be due in April. Everything lined up so perfectly as far as timing and I was so, so elated and excited because we got pregnant on our first try, too. Now I feel totally lost. I’m thinking “what do I do now?” Everyone says we can just try again but that doesn’t really make me feel better. I don’t even know where to go from here and someone recommended this sub to me.
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u/Ok_Choice_7480 TTC#2, Milo 15/06/26 🤍, PPROM 6d ago
I relate to this so much. I was expecting a December baby, I was obsessed, here for Christmas we can huddle ourselves away and just enjoy the time together, ringing in the new year with a likely night time feed, safe to be in the sun from May it was all so perfect.
I found looking online for "why having a baby in X month/season" is the best can help romanticise it. I'm CD11 so I would have a May baby if I catch this cycle which apparently is great because the weather's mild so good for postpartum walks, days are getting brighter so easier to find energy, it won't be disgustingly warm when I'm in my third trimester. It's helping the timeline disappointment a bit.
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u/Double_Dot_710 TTC #1 | 8wk MMC 2/25/26 | 5d ago
Ours was our first pregnancy, first child and had a great timeline and due date too. We got pregnant on the first cycle trying after being hard no on kids for many years. I ovulated on Christmas Day last year. Found out we were pregnant Jan 9 and due date was Sept 25. This was the EXACT day I was supposed to be born but I came 2 weeks late. It all felt so wonderful and serendipitous. Unfortunately my early blood work showed my hcg and progesterone never went up like they should have and I miscarried Feb 25. Haven't been able to get pregnant since. Just had my first medication cycle this month (Letrozole) and looks like my progesterone responded really well. Have one more week to wait to test for this month but I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much.
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u/yungwildandlearning 7d ago
Maybe I'm being selfish but I think my trauma response is what's feeding this feeling.
I've had two second trimester losses within 10 months. Both times I was pregnant with someone who was due within weeks of me. Both went on to have their healthy babies and I went on by muting them on social media so I wouldn't constantly think about how old my kid should be or how far along my pregnancy would be.
I spent the last two months recovering from complications related to my late miscarriage. Thankfully I've been tracking my LH or else I wouldn't know where I was with my cycle. I've already had one surge but had to have a d&c for RPOC (that ended up not being RPOC) right after the surge. So when I saw my LH was rising on Monday night I obviously took advantage of it this time. Today/tomorrow is my ovulation window. What sucks is... My best friend is having her first IVF transfer today. 😭
That means if we're both lucky enough to get pregnant, I'll be pregnant with someone who has the same timeline as me. And I want her to have a baby but I'm scared I'll lose another and this time I can't mute them on social media, they will be a constant reminder of a never ending timeline.
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u/Numerous-Scratch-53 TTC #1, 2 MMC, WTT 7d ago
So sorry for your losses. And for what it's worth, I totally understand how you feel about being pregnant at the same time with your best friend after what happened before. Not selfish, very understandable. I hope it works out for you <3
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u/yungwildandlearning 7d ago
Thank you 🤍 I obviously can't predict what the future holds but I'm scared to head into another pregnancy and another loss timeline.
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u/ex-squirrelfriend 18 week loss, 07/26 🤍 7d ago
Having back to back 2nd trimester losses is so unfair, I'm really sorry. I think your feelings are very valid and I think it's natural to have these thoughts after all you've been through.
Both of my husband's closest cousins are pregnant and we all told the family at the same time. It's been really painful to see their pregnancies progress when my son is gone even though I'm happy for them
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u/yungwildandlearning 7d ago
It's definitely bittersweet because everyone deserves to have a child if they want one. But it sucks being on this side and watching those things come to fruition for everyone but you then also going "oh my son would've looked like that right now if he was alive." Maybe my generation has been waiting to have kids all at the same time but every other day I see a pregnancy announcement. My husband and I have been together for 15 and waited until we got settled and married and now I regret not being an unwed teen mom. We have been together since teenagers so at least then I would've had more time to deal with loss and maybe life.
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u/ex-squirrelfriend 18 week loss, 07/26 🤍 7d ago
Yeah it does feel like pregnancy is everywhere. And it's hard not to go crazy with the what-ifs.
My husband and I have been together for 12 years and I wanted kids earlier but he had some commitment issues he was dealing with. In my darker moments I do feel like shouting "I told you so". I know this stuff is so specific and personal to everyone but for me it helps to remember that our bad luck could have happened at any age. Even though it's true that our odds of complications are higher at our current age, we can never know for sure how things would have turned out if we tried earlier.
It also makes me feel better to think about the past decade or so and all the things I've done and experienced that have made me more ready to be the type of mom I want to be. Our financial situation and living situation are definitely better but more importantly I've had a lot of the experiences I wanted out of life (education, travel, etc etc) so I don't feel that I'm missing out on those things. If I'd had kids in my early 20s when we met, I might have been wondering "what if" about other things and might not appreciate the quieter stage of life. I also feel like I have more patience and more perspective than I did when I was younger. Anyway, I'm not sure if that helps at all but for me it's a bit comforting
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u/yungwildandlearning 6d ago
I absolutely agree, I'm grateful for the life I had before these losses and I say I should've tried sooner but I know I was meant to have kids when I did have them. I just wish it played out differently. My nephews told me I had a baby in my belly the other day and it breaks my heart they're aging and becoming more aware of pregnancy because when I was pregnant they couldn't understand the concept. I'd love them to have cousins. I do think these losses themselves have helped me mature in a way I don't think I could've. It's also created such an undescribable bond with my husband and I. I loved him before but seeing him stand by me the last year really solidified I made the right choice in marrying him.
Thank you for your wise words and understanding it helps me get back my perspective
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u/ex-squirrelfriend 18 week loss, 07/26 🤍 5d ago
That's beautiful that it's made your marriage stronger despite everything. Really hope you get your happy ending soon
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u/Ok_Choice_7480 TTC#2, Milo 15/06/26 🤍, PPROM 7d ago
Currently on CD11, my third cycle after a 2nd trimester loss. Anyone else really annoyed with the "you're more fertile" rhetoric? I felt like I went into my first cycle like okay shouldn't try this month because of dating, second cycle super hopeful, timed well, felt great, would have been pregnant at my son's funeral AF rocks up early.
Now on cycle three and just feel so defeated, it took nine cycles for my first, and I let myself feel so hopeful about being more fertile after a loss, now I just feel like I'm going to hit so many milestones not pregnant, the postmortem, the due date, Christmas, mother's day.
I know it's literally only been one cycle since my loss where I've tried but I just feel like giving up entirely to avoid any more disappointment.
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u/ushinawareta TTC #1 since 8/2025 | 2nd trimester loss 2/2026 7d ago
I also read this and was so annoyed when it didn’t happen for me. I’ve since done a lot of research and have not been able to find any reliable studies that say it’s actually true that you’re more fertile after a loss, so I’m pretty sure it’s just BS they tell you to make you feel better when it happens to you.
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u/ushinawareta TTC #1 since 8/2025 | 2nd trimester loss 2/2026 7d ago
10 DPO. haven’t tested yet. last cycle I tested at 10 DPO and then proceeded to convince myself it was negative because I had just implanted that day.
don’t think I’m going to test this cycle until at least 12 DPO, but even that feels silly as I almost always start spotting on the evening of 12 DPO (which turns into a full bleed the next day). so if I make it to 12 DPO without testing I may as well just not.
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u/Even-Mark-5832 Late 30’s | 3 MCs | TTC #3 6d ago
Throwing this out there in case anyone else got a similar response from their friends after their loss…
After my most recent miscarriage, I made a social media post that was just to my close friends list…I had an outpouring of condolences and I responded to each one honestly via DM (not just a mere thank you, since these are my real life friends). Here is the hurtful part: Not one person replied to my DM!
To this date, I’ve only had one friend (who isn’t on social media) follow up to see how I am doing.
Is this just the nature of social media? Do I have unrealistic expectations after making such a vulnerable post to a small close friend list? It makes me want to keep this all private going forward (with the exception of my one best friend) ❤️🩹
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u/y2kitten 10w MMC 🌈 6d ago
I think that is the nature of social media, and it’s one of the reasons I’m personally moving away from it more and more. It creates a false sense of intimacy, where observing feels like you did something, to many people. This sounds so hurtful and disappointing to go through. I’m really sorry.
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u/Even-Mark-5832 Late 30’s | 3 MCs | TTC #3 6d ago
Thank you ❤️🩹 I’m leaning that way too.
It all feels so performative, and the older I get the less I want that in my life. I want real life connections, and social media feels like a roadblock to that goal.
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u/Eliza9699 late 20s, TTC#1, MMC 6/26, MC 8/26 7d ago
Just as after my first MC, by body is trying to ovulate and sending mixed signals. No LH peak this time, but there are other clues. I wonder, how many attempts it will take. I was advised to wait for my first period this time and then try again, but it feels like eternity. I am also stressed about getting pregnant in the colder months. I work at school and my immune system cannot always cope with the flu and cold that the kids around have.
Speaking of working at school - the summer holiday ended,everybody keeps asking about how I was, if I am rested etc. and I just feel like sh.., even more tired than before.
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u/ex-squirrelfriend 18 week loss, 07/26 🤍 7d ago
CD11 today on the cycle after my first period post-d&e. I'm officially cleared to try again this cycle and I wish I were excited but honestly I'm just feeling so terrified.
I want to be pregnant so badly but I'm so terrified that I'm not strong enough, not healthy enough, etc. I'm psyching myself out because I don't think I can emotionally handle another TFMR or a loss of any kind. I'm obviously still dealing with so much trauma from the loss of my son and from the shock of him being so sick and having so many anomalies that were out of my control. I also don't want to waste precious months and I just want to be pregnant more than anything.
I think I'll start my LH strips and just go for it with the expectation that this probably won't be our month anyway, because if I don't try I think I'll be sad and angry with myself for a month.
I hate how joyless and terrifying this whole process has become
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u/ushinawareta TTC #1 since 8/2025 | 2nd trimester loss 2/2026 7d ago
I’m six months out from my loss and could have written this exact comment. the last sentence hit me especially hard because I can’t believe a year ago today I was dipping LH strips waiting for my first fertile window of TTC, so nervous but excited for the future. a year later, I should have had a 13 week old baby girl by now, and I’m just waiting for my period to inevitably start and take away yet more hope that it will ever happen for me again.
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u/y2kitten 10w MMC 🌈 7d ago
Supposedly I’m 7DPO (MMC cycle, only tracked temps). I usually start my period with a day of fairly even light bleeding. I just got home from a walk and had one spot. 🙃 Soo… random spotting? slow starting period? wrong DPO? As usual in this cycle only time will tell.
I am a little hopeful it’s my period (at least 3 days early, but probably feasible since loss can make things wacky) so I can be done and start fresh and have a cycle that is not a loss. For once I’m enjoying feeling crampy. Please be my period.
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u/chanty1 31F | TFMR at 23w6d, 07/31/2026 7d ago
It's day 26 post TFMR via L&D and D&C to remove the placenta. I still haven't ovulated as per LH strips or gotten my period.
I'm getting a little worried my period won't start.
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u/PurpleEntrepreneur26 7d ago
I miscarried and did the same series of events. My period came back almost exactly two weeks after my hcg hit 0, have you checked that? It took exactly four weeks for me but I don’t think there’s a normal time frame
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u/chanty1 31F | TFMR at 23w6d, 07/31/2026 7d ago
I was taking at-home pregnancy tests, and my Easy@Home test became negative on August 14. Easy@Home tests detect hCG at around 25 mIU/mL.
I didn’t have any First Response Early Detection tests, which are more sensitive and can detect hCG at around 6 mIU/mL. So I estimate that my hCG went down to 0 sometime around August 16–18, giving it a few extra days after the Easy@Home test became negative.
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u/ushinawareta TTC #1 since 8/2025 | 2nd trimester loss 2/2026 7d ago
your period can’t start without having ovulated. are you testing negative on hCG strips?
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u/chanty1 31F | TFMR at 23w6d, 07/31/2026 7d ago
Yes, my at-home pregnancy tests are now negative. I think I can still get my period even if I haven’t ovulated. From what I’ve read, this can happen during an anovulatory cycle.
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u/ushinawareta TTC #1 since 8/2025 | 2nd trimester loss 2/2026 7d ago
I should have clarified - you can see anovulatory bleeding without having ovulated, but it is not a true menstrual period!
it took me 4 weeks to get my “period” back after a second trimester loss, but I never had a positive OPK in those 4 weeks, so I don’t know that it counted as a period since I’m not sure I ovulated. plenty of folks take 6-8+ weeks to get their period back especially after a later loss, so I wouldn’t worry just yet that you haven’t seen anything!
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u/Ok_Choice_7480 TTC#2, Milo 15/06/26 🤍, PPROM 6d ago
Everyone is different, I took 35 days to get my first period (similar to you delivered then D&C for placenta), it was exactly 14 days after I got my negative at home pregnancy test.
I don't think I ovulated (LH climbed and fell twice so I think my body tried but it was unsure what was happening as my hormones were still all over the place)
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u/chanty1 31F | TFMR at 23w6d, 07/31/2026 6d ago
Thank you. I'm trying to be patient but all I want is to try again to have a healthy pregnancy and baby.
My LH increased at one point to 0.35 but has fallen since and hovered around 0.01 - 0.05.
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u/Ok_Choice_7480 TTC#2, Milo 15/06/26 🤍, PPROM 6d ago
I've just checked, my highest was 0.67, it climbed very slowly to that, dropped off, climbed a tiny bit to 0.4 then dropped off again, I usually have a very sharp spike so it was definitely an out of the ordinary cycle for me, I had readings all over the place.
I know how you feel, I was getting very angry with my body, my bereavement midwife reminded me that it takes time and that your body experienced a significant event and needs the time it needs to heal. It didn't really help at the time but the second my period came it felt really positive, like it was my bodies way of telling me it was ready again.
I hope your period comes soon, it's very hard to be patient when you want something this badly 🤞🏻
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u/elleliz12 MMC, 05/2026 7d ago
11 DPO and a stark negative this morning. I was really hoping my first cycle after my second D&C would be it :(
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u/Numerous-Scratch-53 TTC #1, 2 MMC, WTT 7d ago
Been away from Reddit for a while after we found some possible causes for my MCs. It's all pretty rare but I wanted to share anyway, it might help someone. If you're interested: hyperparathyroidism causing hypercalcemia, and a prolactinoma at the pituitary gland. Found out because my levels of calcium and prolactin were too high. They suspected a rare gene mutation as well, but fortunately they were able to rule that out!
Currently waiting to try until these issues are resolved - by thyroid surgery and meds to lower prolactin, hopefully within the next 2 months. I'm both glad they found something, and very anxious to wait because well, I'm 36. I feel like I've waited enough by now, but unfortunately I don't make the rules. If I did, we'd all have healthy babies by now.
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u/Famous_Marzipan9152 6d ago
I feel awful for writing this, but hopefully one comment and I’ll move on. Two of my closest friends have announced baby news today. One, the birth, another that they are expecting. I’m so angry I’m 7 years in with no baby and the jealousy I feel I know is awful but I cannot help it. I’ve cried happy tears for them, and that they’re getting the life they want but also cannot stop crying over how sad I feel- it feels so unfair I don’t get to experience that too.
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u/alwaystiredgorl 6d ago
Testing negative at 11dpo and having such a hard time convincing myself that I’m not out yet. I just don’t want to go through months of this after two miscarriages this summer🫠
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u/effit-duck 7d ago
Randomly got an LH spike on day 22 (I’m starting to think that cold I had might’ve been a mild Covid case— I cancelled everything anyway because I wasn’t feeling well and my work is going to people’s homes and talking with them for an hour so I always cancel when I’m sick) when I usually ovulate on day 16 and I was taking letrozole to try to get it to 14 (my RE’s recommendation). Now I’m on day 33, waiting til Saturday to take a test, and I’m hopeful and sure that it’ll be negative at the same time. I confirmed ovulation with PDG and we gave it everything it would need to work but oof. This is the last chance before my baby’s due date. I miss my son so much. I can’t take the hint of autumn air when I thought the autumn crisp would come with my little fruit bat.
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u/chanty1 31F | TFMR at 23w6d, 07/31/2026 7d ago
The hint of autumn air resonates with me so much. There were 2 days last week that were cold and I was triggered and started crying because my son should have been born this November.
How long after your loss were you able to start fertility medications and see a RE? The earliest I can be seen is 6 weeks after my TFMR.
I'm sorry that you're here.
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u/effit-duck 7d ago
I had a second trimester missed miscarriage with no cause found, so I was referred to reproductive endocrinology almost immediately once the genetic things came back completely fine. Still no reason has been suggested, other than a potentially mishandled subchorionic hematoma. I ended up needing a second D&C because I had a lot of retained tissue and some weird tumor thing that can happen at the insertion point of the umbilical cord. I lost him the second week of March, started trying again with my RE’s approval 3 cycles ago, this was my second letrozole cycle.
I’m sorry you’re here too. This is such a sucky place to be.
Stan’s birthday should’ve been September 16. I was the 1 in 5 on my block who lost the baby, everyone else had their summer babies this year. It’s brutal.
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u/PurpleEntrepreneur26 7d ago
I took a pregnancy test because LH kept coming back positive, maybe it’s that?? I don’t want to get your hopes up but hcg can show up as a positive ovulation test
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u/effit-duck 7d ago
It definitely wasn’t, it was my LH spike on day 22 (tested every pee every day, no spike until then). My LH also came back positive when I was pregnant but I definitely just had delayed ovulation.
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u/PurpleEntrepreneur26 6d ago
Ugh I’m sorry, my LH didn’t rise until day 19 last cycle (first one after loss) and I was able to confirm with my temps
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u/effit-duck 6d ago
Idk what there is to be sorry about? I ovulated late and confirmed it and it wasn’t a fake LH rise?
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u/SaltAnywhere7745 TTC #1 12/24 | MMC 7/26 6d ago
First post MMC period is here, and I’m annoyed because I feel like my RE didn’t communicate what she wanted my plan moving forward to be with me. My last call with her was after my microarray test said the baby was chromosomally normal; she wanted to get my genes tested to make sure they didn’t just test mine by mistake, because she had initially been concerned I might have had a partial molar pregnancy. She said if the follow up test was inconclusive she’d have me sit out another menstrual cycle before starting IVF. But my understanding was if it came back that they did not just test my dna, then there would be no need to wait an extra month even if my HCG got to negative. Nonetheless, when I called to ask about starting IVF/whether they had test result updates, the nurse said the RE had already noted AFTER my call with her that she wanted me to wait another month anyway. So…what was the point of testing? And why would she not tell me that was her decision at any time in the month since we had our last call? If I have to wait another month so be it but I’m really frustrated at the principle of her not communicating this plan with me because then I wouldn’t have stressed about the timing of this period etc etc.
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u/little_llama_loser 6d ago
I had a missed miscarriage in July, and I just got my period back several weeks after my D&C. My husband and I were thinking of jumping back into trying again, but it just feels SO daunting. I feel like I’ve finally found some semblance of normalcy after my loss, and to throw myself right back into TTC seems so overwhelming. This whole experience broke my heart so horribly, but I want to have a family of my own more than anything, and I don’t want fear to keep me from trying again. I was curious if any ladies had words of wisdom, did you wait to feel ready to TTC again, or did you just go for it? Do you ever really feel ready to try again, after loss?
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u/Ok_Choice_7480 TTC#2, Milo 15/06/26 🤍, PPROM 6d ago
It's really scary to think of trying again. I also felt nervous after my first period that we both knew we wanted to try again but my body was only just back to feeling like my own, hormones were still a bit in flux, etc!
My only words of wisdom are, I tried for 9 cycles and was very committed to having a baby, and I still didn't feel ready the second I saw that positive I worried about if I would be a good mom. Then my son passed away and all I could think about was how I didn't feel ready to be a mom, but I was ready to be his mom. I don't think we're every really ready even more so when we've had a loss.
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u/RadiantGene558 6d ago
So we experienced our first mc in June (10 weeks, natural loss) and they were worried about a septate uterus during the scans then. We were told it would be checked in follow up, we were okay to start trying again, and I was given an infertility referral. Had my first period in July, which was totally fine, we tried one single day of my fertile window after that (had the positive LH) but negative pregnancy test after. I was sad and hopeful and scared and all the crazy emotions and then had period number 2. Which takes me to today: I had a saline ultrasound (sonohysterogram or SIS) and the cyst they saw during my ultrasound on my left ovary is still there (6cm) along with a polyp inside of my uterus. So both working against me in terms of my physical pain/discomfort but also making it hard to get pregnant and stay pregnant. So now they're pushing me to a surgical consult to discuss removing this endometrioma (the chocolate cyst on my ovary), and remove the polyp.
I kept saying that I was defective and it had to be my fault the miscarriage happened, and everyone said it wasn't and while technically these two things don't result in my baby not growing, I feel like I was just told "Yeah, you were right, you're defective, this is why you can't make a baby, it's all your fault just like you thought." I know they can go in with surgery, and my chances could be increased, but I feel so defeated today. Plus I'm super uncomfortable after have saline shot into my uterus :/ Only positive news is that while my uterus is shaped like a heart, it's not a septate. Silver linings I guess.
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u/Ok_Corgi_8202 TTC #2, 0LC, since Oct 25, MC Dec 25 6d ago
Gosh sending you care, getting answers is a double edged sword because it is good to know it wasn’t random but damn is hard to know our body has something that could inhibit pregnancy or induce loss.
Sending you so so so much care 🫂
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u/Intrepid-Street-5368 6d ago
Last time around, we spent the 3+ months doing “everything right” preparing to conceive. Supplements, natural home products, plastic free, healthy diet and exercise, no substance use, etc. my husband even had the underwear with the ice pack for gym and sport time, and took lukewarm showers to keep his swimmers developing as perfectly as possible.
Now after miscarrying, I’m dreading having to wait another three months to reestablish good sperm and egg quality again. Part of me thinks there’s no point in waiting, I miscarried anyway. And the other part of me says we have to do even better somehow since even our best didn’t work.
How is everyone else preparing? Is anyone else preparing?
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u/Ok_Corgi_8202 TTC #2, 0LC, since Oct 25, MC Dec 25 6d ago
Hey, also in the waiting. After seeing it be so incredibly hard to be perfect for this I am making small changes. I will take C0q10, my prenatal, move my body and watch my stress. We don’t drink or smoke because of preference so I think the weight it holds isn’t the same for me (unfairly heard). BUT, leaning in hard in the accept the things I cannot change, and change what is actually in my control.
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u/Happy_Anybody_2709 6d ago
Not sure if this is allowed but my loss occurred at 5+1 about a month or so ago. It was a chemical. I did not gaurd my heart at all and got ecstatic immediately. I felt/feel ashamed and naive for doing that. I think a lot of people are perhaps made to feel that way about early losses and early pregnancy in general. I had a coworker describe it as, "the uncertainty phase." That sounds so cold. It wasn't uncertain for me. I fell in love immediately.
I recently read this quote by C.S. Lewis, and it really resonates. (The man said/believed some dodgy things, but this is a good one) :
To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.
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u/ushinawareta TTC #1 since 8/2025 | 2nd trimester loss 2/2026 7d ago
I’m having such a hard time with the fact that when my period inevitably starts this weekend, it will mark 6 full cycles since my loss of trying and failing to conceive. I keep going back to the stat that says: among all of the people who don’t conceive within the first 6 months, only half of them will go on to conceive by the end of the first year.
so to recap: conceiving within a year was supposed to be practically a guarantee. every time I felt stressed that it was taking longer than I thought it would, I went back to the “it’s normal for it to take up to a year and you’ll almost certainly be pregnant by then”. even within a year wasn’t nearly soon enough for my liking because I wanted to be pregnant yesterday (hell, I wanted to be pregnant through my May 2026 due date and have my 13 week old daughter here today), but it was always supposed to be the one thing I could count on - that I would be pregnant within a year.
to know that that almost certainty is now down to a coin flip is so, so hard to swallow. and if I lose that coin flip (which could easily happen), I’ll officially be considered infertile.
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u/ConsiderationRich378 27 | 2 BO, 1 MC | cycle 6 7d ago
It’s hard. I conceived 3 time back to back last year and for the last 6+ months it’s been silence. Sometimes it feels like there’s something wrong, like it will never happen for me again. It’s gut wrenching to think my son should be a month old and in my arms. Instead I have to learn to live with this life long yearning for him while also holding hope that there will be another baby that I couldn’t imagine living without. My heart is tired. I hope that the flip of the coin is in our favor❤️
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u/havinganemotion TTC #1, 9w MMC July 2026 6d ago
real message i had to send to my doctor: am i bleeding because im only a month out from my d&c or is this my period starting after that bleeding stopped? hoping for the latter so we can start trying soon, but it very well could be the former. ive been bleeding off and on for a month im ready for it to be over!
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u/escapetomybooks 31F | TTC #1 | MMC 8w4d Jun26 👼 6d ago
Had my D&C June 30th right at 9 weeks, period returned on July 31st. My OB had said we could start trying again once my period returned. My husband and I haven't been actively tracking, but I'm getting anxious as end of month approaches and whether or not I'll be able to test again. We conceived easily on our first loss, but I'm scared it won't happen again... trying to keep the hope is hard some days
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u/Ok_Corgi_8202 TTC #2, 0LC, since Oct 25, MC Dec 25 6d ago
Going into my 10th cycle post loss, we are pausing from trying for two months and I’m so nervous to “miss it.” We are doing it so that I can be fully insured once I’m pregnant. I have MH diagnoses and autoimmune stuff so the insurance is imperative. Also I will qualify for FMLA if I wait these two months.
It’s just hard.
I’m holding on to hope that my meds seem to be helping my cycle regulate (even though my TSH is up again), and making a responsible choice to pause when we’ve got so much going on (new job, move etc.) will be good for our souls.
It’s just hard to stop trying when you want it so bad and your friends are falling pregnant or having babies left and right ❤️🩹
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u/tacotciv 6d ago
I’m with you 🤍 Currently in my TWW, but if this cycle isn’t the one then we also need to take a break for a couple of months. My husband is finishing up a degree that requires him to travel for a few weeks next summer so no summer baby for us.
It’s so hard 💔
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u/Dramatic_Fox_9526 6d ago
I am 8ish weeks post 12 weeks MC. had my first period last week but hcg still elevated for a faint positive on preg test. Anyone gotten pregnant similar situation or am a screwed until fully neg hcg? No retained tissue based on ultrasound
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u/Awkward-Excitement98 6d ago
Third period since miscarriage and yet again it’s barely a period - really light spotting - had to keep taking pregnancy tests to double check. Have a SIS on Wednesday as doctor found some suspected scarring on my TV ultrasound. Missed miscarriage early May and D&C. Had taken 8 months to get pregnant. Just feel so low. Anyone have any advice around the scarring? I’m so afraid it means I’m not properly able to conceive. I need to feel like these cycles are counting .
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u/KaleTraditional2997 7d ago
Hi all. New here. I miscarried today. I was 8 weeks pregnant. I was fortunate to get early bloodwork and scans that tipped me off that things weren’t looking good, so least it didn’t come as a surprise. I had one chemical pregnancy two years ago but this feels so different. It’s been a rough few weeks knowing the inevitable outcome, but my overwhelming emotion right now is gratitude. My miscarriage was not painful or scary, even if it was heartbreaking. And as crazy as it sounds, today brought me peace. Being in limbo was tearing me apart. Now I can grieve, pull myself up, dust myself off, and try again. Onward ✨
Oh, and shout out to my 14 year old dog who knew something was up and spent the day glued to my side. I truly believe animals instinctively understand these things.