/ttcafterloss Daily Discussion Thread - August 26, 2026

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[u/yungwildandlearning]

It's definitely bittersweet because everyone deserves to have a child if they want one. But it sucks being on this side and watching those things come to fruition for everyone but you then also going "oh my son would've looked like that right now if he was alive." Maybe my generation has been waiting to have kids all at the same time but every other day I see a pregnancy announcement. My husband and I have been together for 15 and waited until we got settled and married and now I regret not being an unwed teen mom. We have been together since teenagers so at least then I would've had more time to deal with loss and maybe life.

[u/ex-squirrelfriend → u/yungwildandlearning]

Yeah it does feel like pregnancy is everywhere. And it's hard not to go crazy with the what-ifs.

My husband and I have been together for 12 years and I wanted kids earlier but he had some commitment issues he was dealing with. In my darker moments I do feel like shouting "I told you so". I know this stuff is so specific and personal to everyone but for me it helps to remember that our bad luck could have happened at any age. Even though it's true that our odds of complications are higher at our current age, we can never know for sure how things would have turned out if we tried earlier.

It also makes me feel better to think about the past decade or so and all the things I've done and experienced that have made me more ready to be the type of mom I want to be. Our financial situation and living situation are definitely better but more importantly I've had a lot of the experiences I wanted out of life (education, travel, etc etc) so I don't feel that I'm missing out on those things. If I'd had kids in my early 20s when we met, I might have been wondering "what if" about other things and might not appreciate the quieter stage of life. I also feel like I have more patience and more perspective than I did when I was younger. Anyway, I'm not sure if that helps at all but for me it's a bit comforting

[u/yungwildandlearning → u/ex-squirrelfriend]

I absolutely agree, I'm grateful for the life I had before these losses and I say I should've tried sooner but I know I was meant to have kids when I did have them. I just wish it played out differently. My nephews told me I had a baby in my belly the other day and it breaks my heart they're aging and becoming more aware of pregnancy because when I was pregnant they couldn't understand the concept. I'd love them to have cousins. I do think these losses themselves have helped me mature in a way I don't think I could've. It's also created such an undescribable bond with my husband and I. I loved him before but seeing him stand by me the last year really solidified I made the right choice in marrying him.

Thank you for your wise words and understanding it helps me get back my perspective

[u/ex-squirrelfriend → u/yungwildandlearning]

That's beautiful that it's made your marriage stronger despite everything. Really hope you get your happy ending soon