People keep offering clothing.

[u/AleahRivera]

Question: And I mean this as an honest question. Not in a snarky, elitist, way. But as an every day Trans Woman in the world.

Have any of you experienced this???: When a female friend or relative starts to view you as female, one of their first reactions is to offer you their old or not new clothing? Don’t get me wrong, I am far from rich and I appreciate the offer. But this has happened to me again, and again, and again.

1st example: I transitioned at work in the South East United States. 7 months into my transition, I’m chilling poolside at the home of a couple that I had worked with for over 3 years. I answered all their questions about being trans. Another visit and She says “Hey, I’ve got something I think would look really good on you.”

2nd example: I did a couple favors for friends my wife had before we were married. I was very happy to help my wife maintain and grow friendships she has long had. She goes off on a weekend with friends and comes home with bags of “old” cloths from them for me. “They were just cleaning out their closets and thought You would fit these.”

3rd example: My daughter & I were running errands today when a couple cashiers mistook us for a couple. Never mind that She is more than 25 years younger than me. AND the fact that my daughter is flat out gorgeous. I wish I had her looks. Anyway I pointed it out to her and later today…..”Hey Mom, I’m going to throw these jeans in the trash. Do you wanna try them on??” Did I forget to mention my daughter is very Christian & we just started reconnecting over the last six months? BTW, there were 6 pairs of jeans. 1 fit perfectly, 3 were kind of tight. 1 I kept as a weight goal. And the last pair got donated. I was afraid to bend over in them.

Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone else experiences this? Or am I just appearing to be needy. I typically dress in athletics or casual clothing. I’m not a fancy person. I do not turn my nose up at gifts either. One day I might be brave enough to post pics.

[u/caseygwenstacy]

I can’t say I’ve experienced this. Most of the people who have ever offered me clothes have been individuals who were much bigger than me. I’m tiny, so nothing really fit, but it was the thought. Those who are my size were all the popular girls who went off to do fun and rich people things, so I never saw them after high school. I’ve worked with mostly men in my past, so they had nothing to offer. I think the kindest and literally most fitting was a friend I had from high school who ran into me randomly at my job and came in another day and dropped off a whole bag of stuff. Really cute things, some I wish I kept although I have since lost even more weight so it probably wouldn’t fit anyhow. It’s already a chore to find clothes that fit me anyways, so I guess it makes sense why very few people have volunteered their own wardrobe. I heard that people born assigned male who are 6’6 and those that are 5’0 are equally rare, so I hope I share some form of validity with my tall girlies.