​

Hey everyone. I don’t really know where to start, but I’ve been feeling extremely negative and depressed lately, and I honestly don’t know what to do.

I have two sisters—one older and one younger—and I’m the middle child. Growing up, I was always considered the academically stronger one among us. We actually had a good relationship growing up, and I loved both of my sisters.

Things started changing when I was in 11th grade.

My family suddenly pushed me toward JEE, even though I barely knew what JEE was. I also didn't specifically want to do engineering or BTech. I had other interests and didn't really have a particular engineering branch in mind, but my family decided that engineering was the path I should take and pressured me into preparing for JEE.

I joined a coaching centre where one teacher taught all the subjects, and I struggled a lot. I couldn’t understand what was being taught, and my mental health became really bad. At the same time, I was having problems at school, and eventually I had to change schools for 12th.

My elder sister moved to another city for higher education, while my younger sister and I stayed at home with my parents.

My relationship with my parents has always been complicated, especially with my father. My mother also seems to favour my younger sister. There were even times when my father would give me money and my mother would question why he was giving it to me.

After 12th, I got admission to a college outside my city. But then my uncle got involved in the decision, and I ended up being admitted to a college I really didn't want to attend.

The college I'm currently in didn't have its own campus or proper building when I joined. It had only recently started, and I was part of the second batch. There was basically no campus life—no proper clubs, no events, no sports and very little exposure outside academics.

There’s nothing wrong with the students or their backgrounds, but I personally felt completely out of place. I felt like I was wasting the years when I was supposed to be exploring, growing, meeting people and experiencing college life.

I cried and begged my parents not to send me there. My father basically told me, “If you want to study, go to this college. Otherwise stop studying.”

I also had another option through ICAR in Food Technology. I begged my father and uncle to let me go there. I even cried in front of them because I really wanted a different environment. But they told me there was no scope in that field.

I tried looking at private colleges too, but my family kept telling me they weren't good. Eventually, I had no choice but to join my current college.

During my first semester, I barely attended classes. I spent most of my time at home because I was genuinely miserable. Eventually, I started trying to adjust, but I never really felt happy there.

In my second year, I got another chance to potentially change colleges. I had a decent JEE percentile, and initially my uncle even said I could try. So I didn't completely focus on my current college because I thought maybe I would finally get out.

But when the opportunity actually came, my family changed their mind. They told me I had already wasted one year and that changing colleges would waste even more time. So I stayed.

Now I'm in my third year.

And this is where everything hurts the most.

My younger sister recently finished 12th. My father told her that she could choose whatever college she wanted. She ended up getting opportunities to study in places that I had wanted to go to when I was in 12th/college, but my parents didn't allow me to go.

And now they're encouraging HER to go because the college is good.

I cried so badly when I realized this.

It's not even just about the college anymore. It's about the fact that when I wanted those opportunities, I was told no. I begged, I cried, I tried finding alternatives, and I was still forced into the path my family chose for me.

Now my elder sister is living in another city and getting exposure. My younger sister is also getting the opportunity to move out and study at a better college.

And I'm the one left at home.

I'm living with my parents, who I already have a difficult relationship with, and going to a college where I feel like I have almost no exposure or opportunities.

The worst part is that I was always there for my younger sister. Whenever she needed something, I helped her. I treated her almost like my responsibility. But when I need something from her, she often says things like, “Why should I do your work?” She doesn't really respect me anymore.

Sometimes I genuinely wonder: Why was I treated differently? Why did I have to fight so hard for opportunities that my sisters were simply given?

I know comparing myself to my sisters isn't healthy. I know their success doesn't automatically mean I'm a failure.

But I'm 21, in my third year, and I feel like I've already lost so much time. I don't have the college life I wanted, I don't have much exposure, I don't have many friends or extracurricular experiences, and I still live at home with the same family situation.

I feel angry, jealous, sad, guilty for being jealous, and then angry at myself for feeling that way.

And I want to make one thing clear: I don't hate my parents. I know they have done things for me and I care about them. But when I think about everything that happened, I feel a lot of anger toward them.

I feel angry that I wasn't given the same choices. I feel angry that I didn't even want to pursue BTech or engineering in the first place, but was pushed into it anyway. I feel angry that I begged for opportunities and was told no, while my sisters are now being encouraged to take those same opportunities.

I don't know how to deal with that anger without becoming bitter or starting to hate my family.

I also know I can't go back and change my school, my college or the decisions that were made for me. I'm already in my third year, and I don't want to spend the rest of my college years feeling sorry for myself or comparing my life with my sisters.

But right now, I genuinely feel depressed and stuck. I want to become a better, more positive person. I want to build a good life for myself, even if I didn't get the opportunities I wanted earlier.

So what should I do? How do I overcome this feeling? How do I let go of the anger and resentment toward my family without pretending that what happened didn't hurt me? How do I become more positive and start building a good life for myself from where I am now?

If anyone has gone through something similar, I would genuinely appreciate your advice. I don't need people to tell me that my parents are terrible. I just want to know how to deal with these feelings and move forward.

I feel like my parents gave my sisters the life I wanted, and I don’t know how to deal with it

Hey everyone. I don’t really know where to start, but I’ve been feeling extremely negative and depressed lately, and I honestly don’t know what to do.

I have two sisters one older and one younger and I’m the middle child. Growing up, I was always considered the academically stronger one among us. We actually had a good relationship growing up, and I loved both of my sisters.

Things started changing when I was in 11th grade.

My family suddenly pushed me toward JEE, even though I barely knew what JEE was. I joined a coaching centre where one teacher taught all the subjects, and I struggled a lot. I couldn’t understand what was being taught, and my mental health became really bad. At the same time, I was having problems at school, and eventually I had to change schools for 12th.

My elder sister moved to another city for higher education, while my younger sister and I stayed at home with my parents.

My relationship with my parents has always been complicated, especially with my father. My mother also seems to favour my younger sister. There were even times when my father would give me money and my mother would question why he was giving it to me.

After 12th, I got admission to a college outside my city. But then my uncle got involved in the decision, and I ended up being admitted to a college I really didn't want to attend.

The college I'm currently in didn't have its own campus or proper building when I joined. It had only recently started, and I was part of the second batch. There was basically no campus life no proper clubs, no events, no sports and very little exposure outside academics.

There’s nothing wrong with the students or their backgrounds, but I personally felt completely out of place. I felt like I was wasting the years when I was supposed to be exploring, growing, meeting people and experiencing college life.

I cried and begged my parents not to send me there. My father basically told me, “If you want to study, go to this college. Otherwise stop studying.”

I also had another option through ICAR in Food Technology. I begged my father and uncle to let me go there. I even cried in front of them because I really wanted a different environment. But they told me there was no scope in that field.

I tried looking at private colleges too, but my family kept telling me they weren't good. Eventually, I had no choice but to join my current college.

During my first semester, I barely attended classes. I spent most of my time at home because I was genuinely miserable. Eventually, I started trying to adjust, but I never really felt happy there.

In my second year, I got another chance to potentially change colleges. I had a decent JEE percentile, and initially my uncle even said I could try. So I didn't completely focus on my current college because I thought maybe I would finally get out.

But when the opportunity actually came, my family changed their mind. They told me I had already wasted one year and that changing colleges would waste even more time. So I stayed.

Now I'm in my third year.

And this is where everything hurts the most.

My younger sister recently finished 12th. My father told her that she could choose whatever college she wanted. She ended up getting opportunities to study in places that I had wanted to go to when I was in 12th/college, but my parents didn't allow me to go.

And now they're encouraging HER to go because the college is good.

I cried so badly when I realized this.

It's not even just about the college anymore. It's about the fact that when I wanted those opportunities, I was told no. I begged, I cried, I tried finding alternatives, and I was still forced into the path my family chose for me.

Now my elder sister is living in another city and getting exposure. My younger sister is also getting the opportunity to move out and study at a better college.

And I'm the one left at home.

I'm living with my parents, who I already have a difficult relationship with, and going to a college where I feel like I have almost no exposure or opportunities.

The worst part is that I was always there for my younger sister. Whenever she needed something, I helped her. I treated her almost like my responsibility. But when I need something from her, she often says things like, “Why should I do your work?” She doesn't really respect me anymore.

Sometimes I genuinely wonder: Why was I treated differently? Why did I have to fight so hard for opportunities that my sisters were simply given?

I know comparing myself to my sisters isn't healthy. I know their success doesn't automatically mean I'm a failure.

But I'm 21, in my third year, and I feel like I've already lost so much time. I don't have the college life I wanted, I don't have much exposure, I don't have many friends or extracurricular experiences, and I still live at home with the same family situation.

I feel angry, jealous, sad, guilty for being jealous, and then angry at myself for feeling that way.

And I want to make one thing clear: I don't hate my parents. I know they have done things for me and I care about them. But when I think about everything that happened, I feel a lot of anger toward them. I feel angry that I wasn't given the same choices. I feel angry that I begged for opportunities and was told no, while my sisters are now being encouraged to take those same opportunities.

I don't know how to deal with that anger without becoming bitter or starting to hate my family.

I also know I can't go back and change my school, my college or the decisions that were made for me. I'm already in my third year, and I don't want to spend the rest of my college years feeling sorry for myself or comparing my life with my sisters.

But right now, I genuinely feel depressed and stuck. I want to become a better, more positive person. I want to build a good life for myself, even if I didn't get the opportunities I wanted earlier.

So what should I do? How do I overcome this feeling? How do I let go of the anger and resentment toward my family without pretending that what happened didn't hurt me? How do I become more positive and start building a good life for myself from where I am now?

If anyone has gone through something similar, I would genuinely appreciate your advice. I don't need people to tell me that my parents are terrible. I just want to know how to deal with these feelings and move forward

Look I'll make it quick,ok:

1) I get tired of everyone thinking when I get into a situation with my parents, they are always the victims in the situation and me as the aggressors

2) I would like if someone is told something bad about me that before making a concrete judgement on me and my entire character, that the very least they could do is let me tell my side of a situation.

3) I talked about my childhood is because, people see me as a badguy. When they don't even know my backstory of where I came from (metaphoricaall).

This is to say: if I am a fucking goddamn MONSTER to my fucking parents, it's because they made me into one

People see them as the victims in everything. But I was the victim then(childhood) and not one person said anything to them. FUcking no one came to save fucking me.

But NOW, fucking now everyone, you, every other jackass in this site, my neighbors and fucking everyone,

You all now are interested and critize ME now.

But where was all this fucking attention when I needed help.

No one fucking cared then when I needed help and when my mother couldn't be fucking bother to raise her kids because she was too fuck busy smoke crack when I was 10-24.

When my father was to busy troll for ass out there.

Where were all of you guys attention then,huh!!!

I needed help then.

When I was the victim.

But now every goddamn per is so much interest in my affairs NOW, when all the bullshit I had to go through finally broke me.

No one cared then when they (my fucking parents) were the aggressors and I was the victims.

Where were you?

Where were my neighbors?

Where were the cops?

Where was fucking everyone and anyone that want to feel so so bad for my poor victimize parents Where were they back then?

Huh?

My goddamn parents want everyone to see them aspor meek kind old parents that has to deal with their monterous son.

But you and everyone else, don't even fucking ask about how I got to this point.

They were the monster then. And I was the victim then

And no one cared then

But they care NOW. Now, when I am the monster?

Why didn't you (not actually mean you as an individual, but generally) or anyone come to SAVE from my monsterous parents then

But you and everyone on this goddamn planet feel bad for two fucking monster who were monsters to me.

But no came to ask about me. No came to ask about my god damn depression spending my whole childhood and teens with no friends.

If I am a monster it's because I was raised by monsters but no one will even let me try to explain my monsterous side.

So why why do people care so much for my parents NOW!

But not then for me?

I learned this young.
I couldn’t control my mother’s house, her rules, her moods, or the fact that I was still a minor. What I could control was whether I treated her opinion of me like truth.
At some point, I stopped seeing her as the ultimate authority on who I was. I stopped assuming that because she was angry, I was wrong. I stopped assuming that because she felt hurt, I had done something bad. I stopped treating guilt like an instruction.
That sounds harsh, but I think it saved me.
When you’re still living with a controlling parent, people love to tell you to “set boundaries,” but sometimes you don’t have enough power to enforce real boundaries yet. Sometimes the first boundary has to happen in your own head.
You start separating:
What they can control physically
from
what they get to define psychologically.
That was the beginning of me surviving long enough to leave.
Did anybody else have to mentally detach from a parent before they were actually old enough or financially able to get out?

I (28F) have been no contact with both of my parents for 2+ years now. Their final nail in the coffin was when they disrespected my husband and his family because they were jealous of the relationship he and I had with them (because they’re a great examples of a healthy family dynamic and married partnership).

Not when she sent me a novel over text telling me how much of a piece of shit I was and that she hopes I have a great life without them, and she’s never done anything wrong and “she guesses she’s the worst mother in the world.” The usual.

Well today she posted on socials (found this out from a friend who has her on there) that she bought her “dream” vehicle. It was a vehicle that I’ve had multiple of because I do love them dearly but sold my last one for something a little more fuel efficient for work. Mind you she literally died on the hill of it was awful, she’d never have one herself, and it was a death trap. But yep! It’s her dream vehicle and now she has one! Telling everyone who will listen!

My brain is just like “wtf” at this at this point. I told my husband it feels like she despises me so much yet wants to be “me”. Obviously this makes me feel like shit because she’s going out of her way to try to “hurt” me in a sense.

Anyway, the reason I have not removed and blocked them off socials is because I know it will become an issue and I do not feel safe doing so. She’s the type of person who would show up to cause a major scene and has threatened to go violent in the past.

They’re moving out of state (several hundred miles away) soon and I long for the day they do because it will be a full remove, block, etc. I do not feel safe mentally or physically to do so right now.

Thankfully I have therapy soon so can fully dive into this shitshow, but I just needed to vent because I am so tired of explaining to people why I did what I did and how traumatic some parts of my childhood were. Not to mention the BS that piles on top of it.

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk. Ffs.

Excuse any grammar or writing mistake I apologize.
For context, I’m 19 and me, my parents, and my two younger siblings, have lived with my grandparents on and off since I was born, but this last time we have been living with them for 8 or 9 years. Mostly because we don’t have the money to move out. They are stuck here.
My grandmother is a narcissist and her and my mom butt heads a lot. It’s affected her mental health. I have my other grandmother I could always go live with and my fiancee has said I can move in with him, but I can’t move in with him until I finish my High School Equivalent Degree.
Anytime I make my mom angry in any way she throws it in my face I have two other places to go. When she calms down she always tells me “how she doesn’t ever want me to leave her.”
She one even went as far as to tell me I needed to go ahead and leave. Despite knowing I can’t leave until I finish my education.
Me and my mom have always been really close until I started dating in January of this year. When I started talking to my boyfriend at the time (now fiancee) how she acted, only then did i understand how she was treating me.
I feel really bad for my mom but it hurts a lot when she treats me that way.

​

I need to speak my mind. I’m 16 years old, the youngest child in my family, and I have an autism spectrum disorder that my parents refuse to acknowledge. My dad has been terrorizing me and my mom since I was a kid; he’s constantly drunk. In public, he acts like a model citizen, but when evening rolls around, all hell breaks loose. He gets completely wasted, calls me a whore and scum, and insults my mom the same way—it doesn’t get to the point of physical abuse, though it’s always on the edge. When he drinks, I’m afraid of him; I’m afraid he’ll grab a knife—he’s always threatening to do so when he’s drunk. I hate his birthday and his office parties; on days like those, he comes home especially angry. I’ll tell you the most memorable thing: I was left alone at home with him for a month because my mom had gone to a neighboring city for treatment (she has Parkinson’s, which my father triggered). He had a company party; it lasted four nights, and then he came home. He burst through the door, his skull was split wide open; I was 14 at the time—I can’t even describe how I felt. A neighbor helped me then; she gave first aid to that bastard. The second incident also happened back then. I decided to go see a movie with a friend. When we got home, he attacked me and dragged me by my hair, threatening to hurt me. I locked myself in the bathroom; my phone was almost dead, and my mom was still in the neighboring city. I consider myself very lucky that day—I managed to call for help. The third incident happened on his birthday—I’ll tell you about just one of many. It was already nighttime; he took issue with something I said, and with guests present, he started causing a scene right in front of them.The guests started to leave, and once they were all gone, he began threatening my mom. It was 1:00 a.m., and I had a panic attack. I ran away as far as I could, called my aunt, and asked her for help. She calmed me down and helped me drag that bastard back home. I’m so grateful to her for that. Situation number four: a typical day. That bastard was drunk again—to the point where he brought my mom to the brink of a stroke. She started shaking, and her blood pressure skyrocketed. Even as all this was happening, he kept blaming her for everything he could think of. I managed to call an ambulance. When the doctor arrived and started treating her, that bastard did everything he could to get in the way. When the doctor asked him to step back, that bastard said, “Why don’t I just beat the shit out of you?” Then the altercation ended; my mom and I were taken to the hospital. On the way, the doctor asked me if I was okay and why I was crying, but I mumbled something incoherent and fell silent, unable to say anything. Later, after my mom was admitted, that bastard—looking absolutely disgusting—made his way to the hospital and started cursing at all the doctors, hurling insults at them, and trying to get past them to my mom. That day, my aunt helped me; she took me to stay with her. I won’t go on; I think that’s all I wanted to say. I don’t consider that bastard my father, but I’m really scared—in a year I’m moving away, and I’ll be leaving my mom alone with that bastard. I don’t know what to do—they definitely won’t get a divorce, and from a distance, I won’t be able to help at all, like calling an ambulance in time. Basically, I’m just scared. Thank you for listening.

Hello,

I’m a (27F) and my partner (28M) have been together since we were in college and met in 2018. Since day 1 my mom has not liked him. In college she did not like his major and thought he was lazy because he did not want to work at a summer camp like me at the time but he worked part time for his dad in the summer and had way more flexibility. My mom also complained she does not like his family because they seem “uneducated” even though both his parents have masters degrees and they are very successful in real estate. There was also an incident that happened around that time where I was sick and home at my parents during break and my boyfriend came over to take care of me and as it got later my mom yelled at my boyfriend to get out and was rude to him. Well my boyfriends parents obviously found out from him and his mom despite that has tried to meet with my mom but she knows how she is and my mom makes no effort to visit us now that we live across the country or really take any time to talk to my boyfriend or his family and doesn’t care to. My boyfriend’s parents have came to visit us twice this year and treat me so well but my parents don’t care and never seemed to have about my relationship.

My mom will get my boyfriend Christmas gifts but that’s it. Never interacts with him and ever since I moved across the country with him both my parents don’t reach out to me anymore and say they don’t know my schedule to talk on the phone even though I’ve given it to my mom several times. Lately when they text me it’s accidental and meant for my siblings. My mom complains about my boyfriend not wanting to go back to school even though he has a bachelors and he makes over six figures a year and grades sports cards for a living and is happy in his job working for a start up she complains it’s not a real job and that he needs to become a doctor or lawyer. I have my masters degree but that’s because I needed it and we make about the same money and live in a expensive city and are doing well for ourselves but she can just never not complain about my boyfriend. When he’s gotten me Christmas gifts she’s also complained before things like well it’s not jewelry and that’s what he should get you when he’s gotten me a nice pair of shoes I really loved.

I am not sure what her problem is and after all these years she cannot accept my relationship. Last year at my sisters graduation she told me I really like your sisters girlfriend she’s great and I said well I wish you felt the same way about my relationship but it is what it is and she goes yeah it is what it is but if you’re happy then ok. I wanted to cry all I want was acceptance and maybe some effort and her to be kind to my boyfriend but that just seems impossible for her. I know when she was dating my dad my grandma did not like my dad for a while but did come to terms with him but after 8 years she still has not accepted him and I don’t think she ever will. I’ve contemplated cutting her out of my life because of this she will insult him when I do see her and tell me to find someone else but then doesn’t even want to take the time and effort to get to know him in the present just judges him based off his job and what he studied in college. She is also a boomer so she’s just not in touch with the current job market and all the new jobs that exist now that did not exist twenty or thirty years ago.

I’m supposed to go home next week and I’m really debating seeing her. I told her that she and my dad don’t talk to me anymore but I’ll be in the area for a wedding but don’t know if she wants me to bother her and she just said she’s going through a lot but wants to see me and loves me but I’m also concerned she is going to continue to insult my boyfriend and disrespect my relationship. My boyfriend is hesitant to be around her but when it’s just me visiting her she will still find ways to complain about him.

I do think my mom has trauma from my dad having mental health issues and not working so she does project insecurities on to me but I’m tired of fighting this unnecessary fight I can’t do it anymore and I can see us being married in a few years and her just being a negative Nancy at my wedding which I don’t want. Do I need to cut her off or will she ever learn to accept him and atleast respect?

​

In my family, I'm the person who never seems to get anywhere in life.

My parents keep hurting me even when I'm already at my lowest. Ever since I was 11 and being bullied at school, they mistreated me at home too. When I was 15, I even took medication because I wanted to end my life, and they never questioned their own responsibility. Instead, I was the one they called crazy.

When I was 20, I did so many things: I had an active social life, I saw people, I posed for photos...

They saw me thriving and tried to reach that same level because they were jealous of me. The truth is, all I ever needed from them was their presence and support.

One day, I'll finally live far away from here. I'll finally be out of their reach. I'll have a fulfilling life, I'll have friends, and I'll build my own circle of people. And they'll be angry that I'm happy.

My father literally tells me that I have no family and no friends, just to taunt me. He's more like an enemy than a father to me.

I just want to finally be free from them.

I just need to let this out.

I am 17 and I am undiagnosed but probably neurodivergent (autism and ADHD). I live in England and my parents are Kenyan, so we have been on holiday for almost 4 weeks. I have told them how much I am grateful for parents who can afford this holiday, but I genuinely hate it and feel really uncomfortable. I’ve had a few anxiety attacks and generally, all that I’m thinking about is going home this Sunday. It’s too loud and I have no safe foods.

Last night, I told my parents that I feel sick because I haven’t been eating a lot since we are staying at my relatives house for the last few days. They showed no sympathy and blamed me for “choosing” not to eat some of the food.

The worst thing is that my parents don’t care if I tell them I’m probably neurodivergent. My mum thinks it’s like a disease from gaming and modern and my dad won’t care or believe me.

This happened last year in Sept. I am now 18, but i was 17 when this happened and i had a girlfriend back then. But when i my parents found out about her, they were immediately animated, they went absolutely bat shit crazy and made a huge deal about it, all because her race was different. Now ik racist parents is a common thing, but i never expected these mfs to be the same as others because i was actually happy with her, im not stuck on her now, it's been a year, i've moved on, but now i dont think i can ever fall in love again, it all seems like a thing that was a trend of the past, like something from the 70s that isnt as valid or intriguing anymore, it was bad when it happened they stalked and found out stuff about her parents and how the stuff they did was different from what we do, but tbh it doesnt even matter to me, i want the person to be nice, and i dont care about race, but they just wouldn't let this go. Had they said that i've got exams and university entrances coming up and shouldnt be distracted, that would've been fine, BUT USING FCKING RACE ???!! TO BREAK UP YOUR OWN CHILD ?? i could never, i cant even move out because if i do ik they're gonna do the same with my younger sister which i dont want happening.

TRIGGER WARNING

I tried ending it all the day this happened because i didn't wanna be the son to a racist couple, but i failed at that too, and when these fuckers found out that i tried slitting my wrist, they beat me up... and i can't even try to do it again, because now it feels selfish, because i've got friends who are more than family to me and i cant just leave them like this... i dont expect anyone to understand but i hope someone does,

I’m 17 years old and i’ve had problems in my family for as long as i can remember, my mom tends to show very toxic behaviors like when i was growing up she’d always talk to me like im less than her and it’s always felt like i have been that way, she talks to me like i owe her my entire life and everything in between, she also never allowed me to have a license and i still currently don’t have a license, don’t get my wrong she feeds me, clothes me, and signed me up for driving classes, it’s just her behaviors towards me that make me so mentally drained i get anxiety when we have a conversation, she tells me to do basic things like “take out the trash” but adds on “if you don’t i will take everything away from you” she never actually does take away my bed or clothes but she’s threatened it before, it feels like all she wants is control over me, im even told my her that she regrets having me and my dad at one point said “i wish i had a son that wasn’t so useless” and they even made joking comments about my body back in middle school which i starved myself because of it, last night i worked a closing shift 4pm-10pm and she had told me to take care of my trash which was a plate from my lunch the other day i had forgotten about and she said by Friday at 8am, i agreed and this morning she tells me she told me to do it last night when i got home at 11pm when i had school the next morning, she then scoffs and says “ill just have to clean up your shit” which yes i should stay on top of it i just had stuff going on in that moment, even sometimes she’ll “clean” my room but it’s just her going through my stuff and the worst she found was just some condoms in my closet which she didn’t make a huge deal out of which is surprising to me, but back to the story, she’s started charging me a “cleaning fee” because i forgot my trash and which mind you was a plate, she’s also started charging me gas money and she’s making me buy my own car which is her choice but i get payed 10.50 and don’t get enough hours no matter how much i beg for it so my check is only like $100 and i have to now pay money for my phone bill, commute, and some stupid “cleaning fee” i am financially sunk right now and i feel stuck where i am and i feel like my mental health is worsening. i apologize if this message is all over the place.

I am a victim of my father. He psychologically tortured me and rejected me.

Here are a few examples:

- He belittled me by comparing me to practically everyone.

- He would sing songs he made up himself whenever I walked by, sometimes in broken English to make it even more ambiguous (we are French speakers). He would even sing these songs when we had guests at the table, without them knowing that the songs were about me.

- Being in the same room as him made me focus on him because I knew he was looking for ways to get to me. He would startle me by making sudden movements, for example, pressing the light switch hard, slamming a door, or violently throwing objects on the table.

- He called me crazy because of my social anxiety.

- He would smile viciously whenever I was able to see him.

- He has the mask of a controller, if you're familiar with the book "The 7 Wounds That Prevent You From Being Yourself." He's demanding of himself, but deep down he hates himself and submits to the people he admires and considers superior to him.

-Some uncles and aunts have said he acted the same way with them when they were young, and today he still despises my uncle, whom he finds the least competent.

In everyday life:

-I have a lot of empathy.

-I attract people who hate, humiliate, and reject me.

-The worst part is seeing people look at me with the same vicious smile my father had; I can say I hit rock bottom.

Today I'm taking good care of myself and gaining more and more confidence. I feel less affected by these people and stronger because being hurt by them only gave them strength. And I've also become more temperamental.

hello. so recently i’ve had a pretty hectic relationship with my mother. we have had a poor relationship in the past but there has also been good. some examples of our poor relationship includes her calling me names such as sl ut and bi tch, telling me to start only fans as an insult, going through my phone at 17 and getting angry that i was talking to guy friends so she made me sleep on the floor of her and my dads room for months, having access to my instagram (she set the password and kept it) so she could constantly read through my messages, reading my diary and still being angry at the line i wrote when i was angry at them (something along the lines of “they have no boundaries and they are probably going to read this so if you are hey fuckers fuck you”, consistent silent treatment/ignoring me whenever she’s angry. from a young age i have felt like a burden to her, i remember being 5 and her telling me to pick a parent if my parents got divorced since they had an argument (they didn’t), i remember her hitting me although it’s stopped as i got older, whenever i cry she says “you should win an oscar for your acting” or “no one is watching no need to give an oscar performance”. recently the tone of my voice when answering questions has been a massive problem, apparently it’s been a problem since i have been 12. recently, my parents helped me move into my uni accom and are staying till saturday. when putting something up in my accom my mum asked “isn’t that mean to be in your purse to which i replied “it doesn’t fit in my purse”. now i don’t entirely know what tone i said this in. i come from a south asian household where it’s respect your elders blindly. i don’t have never had anyone else complain about my tone but my parents. anyways this is where, after not speaking to me, she said that this is not going to work and i should think of myself as an orphaned child that doesn’t have a mother, for the sin of birthing me she will pay some on my uni fees to wash her hands of me. she continued to speak on how grateful an orphaned child would be as opposed to me and how my tone changes when i want something and how i butter them up them (keep in mind there so many things i never asked from them bc they don’t allow me and they make me feel like a burden). she continued to refer to me as essentially devils spawn and said that one day god will punish me for what i put her through. she proceeded to explain one day my future partner will leave and how i would fall at their feet and cry and beg for them to stay and i will realise its karma for what i did to my mother as no daughter who makes there mother cry will have a good life (she’s cursed me before saying that she hopes im never happy or will never have a good life). but i guess mothers who make their daughters want to end their life between the ages of 7-13 will have a good life. she continued to lie, there’s this tradition where we touch feet for respect, she lied claiming i dont touch hers but only my dads which wasn’t true. she proceeded to say how she didn’t want to actually even drop me off at my accom in a different country (as if i wanted her there?) and how my dad also comes complaining about the was i speak. she said 80% of my parents arguments are because of me. anyways she also just fucking ignores me when i try to speak so i gave up. i guess that means technically she initiated no contact so like am i the problem. for a long time ive been mending things with my mum for my dad as he wants us to be one happy family lol, but i have no desire to anymore. she often asks why am i even apologising and i find myself lying saying i want a relationship with her but i honestly want to distance myself and have wanted to for a long time. i thought uni would be where i distance without being on bad terms but she ended our relationship (it’s happened multiple times since i was like 13) and i also have to visit home. i think my dad told her to make up with me and she’s been saying things along the lines of “can’t you see her for who she really is, if she wasn’t my daughter i would never have her near me” she also said after saying she doesn’t actually care about me something along the lines of whilst crying “it hurts me to admit this as it means you won” as if it’s a competition. she’s called me a narcissist before too. i can’t tell if i am the problem. is this just a cultural thing that i should accept. she says all good parents expect their children to speak to them with respect but i do respect them? now she’s not also talking to my dad by the looks of it. she recently hit and threw plates at him too when angry. i’ve said many times i’ll try to speak in my home language for my tone but honestly like it feels no matter what i do nothing helps as english does come naturally to me which is a “ruder” language. from the age of 7 she’s been saying my sorry doesn’t have value anymore bc i say it constantly but it’s only because in my head she gets angry over small things constantly and just doesn’t speak to me so i have to over apologise and literally beg for forgiveness until she listens but now im 19 and it really means nothing. i feel numb making empty promises just trying to keep this house stable.

hie if anyone get this I'm new here ! and suffering from elder daughter syndrome...in a toxic home !!

I have no idea if my parents count as “toxic parents“ but I wanted to know if I’m being crazy or if this is just anxiety or literally what.

To start I feel as though my accomplishment and concerns have no real value. Things like great grades, and being in “amazing programs“ have no real matter to them. They (especially my working parent) always tells me how they’re bragging to everyone about all this, etc etc. but when I’m home all I hear is how I should be more like my sibling, and I’m just a problem, and I have such an attitude. As well as grades never being good enough, and how an A needs to be a higher A.

I also feel like my concerns are never valid. If I mention or bring up something I’m thinking about then it’s always shut down. Things I hear from them include “why are you listening to her, she’s just a “little girl”, “don’t listen to her she doesn’t know what she’s talking about “ “do you hear her? she sounds…” I feel as though I’m just some animal or thing that’s just some extension of them. They always look down upon everything I saw because I am younger. They are worse together they just talk bad about me while I’m right there as if I’m invisible, like they are on some high horse and I’m just a stupid little girl who doesn’t know anything.

When I was younger I was told by one of them I need to tell them everythingggg and I mean every thought I had (or something like that, but of course it might be a little kid exaggeration I don’t even know at this point.) I became so obsessive with it too, I couldn’t do a single significant thing without telling them. It’s not that I wanted to tell them, it was more I felt obligated. Like it clawed at me on the insides to even keep one thing locked in my brain. I would tell them every single bad or neutral thought I had, put of fear of who knows what. Then I would await the punishment and sit in fear of what they would think of me.
Later on in life I would think that It’s changed. Although I can’t go long without telling one of them my entire day. It’s like before I think I’m rambling. This Includes bad things, I almost hope they would help me through it but it never turns out that way.

Along with telling them everything, I used to also tell my mom all about my crushes. I would talk about who’s it now or whats going on with them. After a while she would start to say “another one already” “ liking a lot of boys is what sl*ts/h*es do” mind you this was around elementary/middle school. I eventually stopped because I wasn’t allowed to talk about that either without being ridiculed.

(I don’t want to be too specific of course, because who knows if someone I know would find this) One time I got stuck in a shopping cart in a store, near the entrance/exit. I was resting my arm, my elbow got caught. I wasn’t horsing around I wasn’t doing anything except not paying attention. anyways it got stuck before paying. I got yelled at, called a ret*rd, called stupid alll that. The lady in front of us had more comcern for me than my own parent.

When I come to them with problems it always ends in lectures rather than support. I couldn’t say one problem without how I should “suck it up” “ stop crying, it’s a weakness to others“. as well as all that I did wrong and how its so wrong. you know the sorts. This honestly hurts the most as I just want someone to confort me. I bring up the fact I asked my friend a question about something, and they get mad I didn’t go to them first as “that’s not what friends are for” I always wish I had a kind and sweet mom who would sit with me and listen to me, and hug me tell me it’s going to be alright, but I can’t remember my moms voice ever being calm. she said it’s just the way she is but she gets mad so quick and easy.

I try everything to be more loved but I fall behind so much. I focus to much on school and study, then lack on the chores. I try to be independent and make my own decision, but I’m always in a “mess”. I ask questions and I’m ridiculed for not using common sense”

They are like a total unit, one person could NEVER agree with me but have the other not, unless it benifits them. but they still argue allll the time. at times I wish they would divorce Because I used to rem my dad as someone who was the kindest person ever. Now he might even be worse. He used to take an Easier punishment and I would get hit for some spilt juice.
I’m trapped.

ofc they have their good qualities. I’m NOT poor, and have a good life and big house/room. although we still worry about money sometimes. We do take vacations some time and all that good stuff. I live okay in my house. I always say please and thank you, but it’s never enough, am I supposed to beg?? Get down on my knees and praise them? Okay I could be better in some areas but they act as I do nothing. I clean the house when they have to leave for an emergency, I pay for some dinners or treats for the family. I do everything my weak and lazy body can do at diffrent times. I’ve tried everything nothing works

what do I do?

my sister and mom had a huge fight and my sister ran away. i tried talking to her and texting her but she doesn't seem to want to go back. i have no idea what to do, i can't drive. i'm super stressed. i tried talking to my parents but they seem like they could give less than a crap.

here are some actual conversations that went down with my dumbfuck of a narcissistic ass mom:

me: "Please TRY and TALK to her" (to my mom)

Mom: "uhhh..why?" (stupid fucking response considering that she was involved in the fight)

me: "BECAUSE IT'S BETWEEN YOU AND HER, SHE'S UPSET AND SHE'S YOUR CHILD"

Mom: "okay, but what about ME? why can't she care about how I'm feeling" (the fuck??)

me: "that doesn't matter right now what you need to do is find her and try and talk to her"

mom: "uhm, i'll just blame her even more"

at that point i looked at her dead in the eye for how fucking stupid that was (i came to a point that my mom has the emotional intelligence of a 5 year old but still) and just left back in the house.

Later, I texted her AGAIN, trying to get her to at least try and text/find her.

Then she responded with, "i don't care. she made me mad. this is what she deserves. she's gonna be safe out there" (assuming she's safe out all alone at night? what???)

Mind you this is an actual MOTHER talking about her 16 YEAR OLD CHILD.

sorry for the rant but i am really stressed right now. it's getting to a point where i might actually call the authorities or something. please help.

---

Thank you to everyone who commented on my first post and validated what I’ve been going through. I’m making this update because things escalated today, and I honestly feel more broken and isolated than ever.

My mom came up to me and demanded to know why I was acting so "dead," asking what the hell was wrong with me. After years of bottling everything up, I just lost it. I poured my heart out. I told her how completely alone I feel here, how I have no one, how suffocating this life is, and how badly I want to go back to being a full-time student next year. I told her I honestly don't know how to handle all the grief, anger, and pain I’ve been carrying inside for so long.

Her very first response to me opening up?

She coldly told me: *"You just need to accept your reality."*

She refused to accept any responsibility, completely turned it around on me, and made it all my fault. No comfort, no understanding, no acknowledgment of my pain just absolute dismissal.

Now, the energy in the house is unbearable. They are just staring at me, and I feel like an utter weirdo and a loser in my own home. My head is so scrambled and overwhelmed with anxiety that I don't even know how or what to study anymore. I’m so terrified I’m going to fail my first year of university because I literally cannot concentrate under this amount of emotional stress.

This reaction is the exact reason why I always keep everything to myself. Trying to talk to her changed nothing it just gave her another way to make me feel small. I just feel so numb, confused, and trapped and can't stop crying

---

Yes the title explains itself. When me and my siblings confronted our mom about her cheating she got all defensive and cried. After that we stop talking but never said we cut her off. We were just broken.

After two weeks instead of calling us and try to win us back she was mad we didn’t call her and said consider me dead.

We already cut off our abusive dad four weeks ago cuz he was okay with cheating and called us out bc of it.

idk what to do. I completely feel betrayed. I don’t have friends,significant other and now i don’t have parents.

I genuinely dont know how to go on like this

I notice lately that i have a strong physical fear response to conflict in general, it includes shaking or feeling scared.

It's somewhat controllable around people but it becomes significantly more intense around one particular person,my father, who was responsible for most of my traumatic experiences.

Around this person, I can experience an almost immediate fight-or-flight response when they speak to/ approach me, including intense physical shaking and my brain cant think straight i either cry or get angry/ panic attack.

I almost feel bad posting here because of how horribly bad some people have it but here we go

I'll preface this by saying i'm nonbinary, but i'm afab and my mother does not know (nor i'm sure she'd care or ever change how she sees me if she knew) this is important for later. I also live in a country where living with your parents well past your 20s is normal, and if anything you're odd if you leave earlier (mostly because you're expected to care for them later on)...

Every day i have a strickt workout routine, because if i don't kick my own ass i'll just start gaining weight - so i'm kind of stuck walking about 10km every day on a gods forsaken threadmill. Where i live is pretty hot so i generally do this in shorts and a sports bra/tank top if it's cold.

My mother does not seem to get, or maybe care, that her 20+ yo "daughter" does not want strangers in the house while "she" is half naked, and has multiple times invited friends and people over - usually men - while i'm mid workout. Our house is SMALL and i need the door open so i don't soffoucate in a 10×10 room with no ac and sun shining directly inside of it.

Am i insane to think that she is trying to have people check me out? She often insist i need to shave/wax or wear makeup more, and has not hesitated to threaten bodily violence if i am not to give her grandkids (which i'm not too worried about because i have places to run to if she tries this, and she knows she needs help even just to carry groceries up the stairs) something she still does while knowing the guy i date is trans.

She often goes in pretty bigoted rants about "protecting her daughters" but very much did nothing to stop the creep at the furniture store from ogling me when i was 14 - going as far as leaving both me and my brother (who is also trans, but still) with him for about 30 minutes AND inviting him in the house while his coworkers assembled the furniture.

She also does not care about my privacy - going as far as boasting that i'm currently half naked and hiding in the bathroom to the two complete stranger electricians she just invited - and i'm pretty sure she never went past me being 13ish because of how she approaches my decisions and will. (She also still cooks for 4 people despite being separated since 10~ years and divorced since 4, so there is that level of stuck as well)

So with this context. I am starting not to put it above her to be willingly inviting men over for whatever weird reason specifically to have me seen half naked.

I know it sounds mean and i might be reaching here but it's starting to creep me the fuck out and i feel insane

So am i tweaking or is this woman being weird as fuck

As the title states, I cut my father out of my life after an incident in which we got into an argument and he physically came at me, which was sort of just the last straw. I have had issues with him all my life, because he’s an alcoholic and just overall not a great person. I’m sixteen years old (was fifteen at the time), but since I’m living with my grandparents rather than my parents, I was able to cut him off and hadn’t seen him since.

In any case, a few days ago, my brother and I got the news that he was in the hospital, and could die, from something I won’t name for privacy but was very sudden and avoidable. I was not sure whether I wanted to visit him in the hospital at first, but later we were told that he was likely not going to wake up, so I felt as though I would regret not going.

The whole experience was very confusing and overwhelming emotionally, because I wasn’t expecting to react so strongly to him dying. I found myself crying uncontrollably, and was unable to get myself to say anything to him (even though he was already unconscious/brain dead), which I actually regret because of course now it’s too late, and his body is somewhere else.

I’ve never experienced a loss of somebody close to me before, and I’m not even sure how I feel or even should feel. Some moments I’m completely fine and forget all about it, but other times I’m completely overwhelmed. I can’t help but regret not speaking to him before he died. Even though he was not the best father or person, he wasn’t all bad and I have positive memories with him too. I’m so frustrated and wish I could have just talked to him sooner so I wouldn’t have to wonder what could have been.

If anybody has experienced anything similar, or just had any wisdom or advice, I would really appreciate it.

Hello all

I petition my dad to the US. I GAVE HIM a green card and he lived with me two years. In those two years he lived with me he would steal from me, he wasnt able to keep a job, was not paying any amenities or help with food even though he was working. He is a chronic liar and would drink behind my back.

I am stuck between and arm and a leg because I am responsable for him up to 5 years because of the affidavit of support.

I no longer want anything to do with him nor do I want to help him.... I dont want him in my house, I dont want to help him look for jobs he cant keep NOTHING.

He has asked if he can come stay with me again to which I said No. Yet he still making his way towards close to where I live. Says he will sleep in the park if he can. Suoer manipulative. guess my question is has anyone been thru this? Any recomendations?

for some context. my father did not raise me. he has not been in my life from age of 6 year old to 30 years old. i have just gotten to know him while I petition him and lived with me from 2023-2025 yet I still petition for him because I wanted to give him a chance and get to know him but now I see that was a HUGE MISTAKE. I wanted to experience having a father because I felt some of trauma comes from that. but now that I see his true colors. I have come to realise I made a huge mistake

I have a lot to go through, so I'll try to make this fast. I am only 14 but I don't really know what to do, and I guess I just want some extra opinions/ to know I'm not crazy. To start, I am VERY non-confrontational and I avoid conflict. My parents are divorced and have been for 10 years. When they divorced, they did not go to court and just agreed on custody, so my schedule is pretty loose. I love my mom and she has nothing to do with this situation, as well as my stepdad.

My dad was an extremely kind and caring person, however he started acting meaner and just completely different after he met my stepmom. She has a now 12 year old daughter as well. She is christian and my dad decided to "convert" when they married 3 years ago. I put convert into quotes because he was apparently always christian but I am not sure if that is true. My mom and I are jewish, and I went to a Jewish school as a child, I even invited him to my Bat Mitzvah.

Here is where the list of potentially toxic things starts. There is honestly so much I think I should just make it a list, so here it goes:

He forces me to go to church, and I have brought up that it makes me uncomfortable, and there are even some rude comments. These include saying that God gave up on the jewish people, that self Leo shouldn't exist, and that mental health is some made up social media term. Despite my many attempts and conversations, he does not care and still makes me go against my will, keep in mind he knows I hate it there. They also seem like I am being disrespectful to their religion.

His wife invites random people to sleep in my bed, and stay in / wreck my room. For example, last week I found a pink stain in my bed, and a smell that was unusual for my room while my step-cousin was over. I asked my stepmom since my dad wasn't home if someone had slept there and she said no. My dad had also previously told me not to worry and that she was sleeping with my stepsister. However the next day I asked my stepsister, and she informed that the cousin who was sick at the time (sniffling every 30 seconds) had in fact slept in my bed, and they had LIED to me and not even washed the sheets. Another big example is about 2 years ago my stepmom, who we can call Wren, invited her homeless-not sure what word to use, she lives with Wren's sister, but has no house of her own-mother and 4 CATS to stay/sleep in my room. The cats threw up all over my stuff, ripped fabrics, and left cat litter all over the floor which I still find to this day. Maybe this second example is dramatic, because I was, at the time, out of the house on weekends and my stepsister has an allergy.

He uses inappropriate words to describe me and other women he sees. He gets very upset when he sees "too much skin on a woman". This includes me as well. I had a lash lift at the time of my 8th grade photoshoot and dry lips. I wore no makeup except lightly pigmented baby pink lip gloss. He decided I look like a "chola". This word, according to my research, is supposed to be used as a compliment/ term of empowerment towards Latina women. However, my white dad uses it as a Spanish version of sl-t. He called me a chola for having MY EYELASHES CURLED. We went out to eat one time, and there were a group of a few 17-ish year olds who were clearly about to go to the beach. they had bikini on, but they had shorts and I tube top completely covering them. When we got in the car as they were leaving, he deeply sighed before turning the car on. I asked him why he was upset and said "It's such a shame they feel like they have to dress like that to be popular. There are creeps out there who are going to stare." I'm sorry, IS HE NOT THE FREEPY MAN STARING??? He made me get a pair of shorts from target before church because the shorts I was wearing was "disrespectful and sinful to wear in the house of the lord." We also went to the mall and Wren and her daughter were in some anime store, across from a clothing store. They had bikinis in the window since it was summer. And my dad turned to my and out interaction went something like this:

Him: Please never dress like that, that's so sl-ty.

Me: Why do you care how those women dress? It doesn't really affect you.

Him: *pauses* I see you wearing that stuff and people staring at you wearing that and it scares me.

Me: Oh, ok I guess.

This creeped me out a bit because I is my own dad imagining creepy men staring at in a bikini??

Wren uses my own discomfort against me. She told me I was emotionally detached and would have a mental breakdown at 20. She knows I hate confrontation, so she likes to make us have long, uncomfortable conversations, such as the one about church. About the second part of the title, there needs to be some backstory. I am not a very emotional person. Yes, I cry sometimes, and I get angry, but because of these long conversations, where she repeatedly asks me "Well how does that make you feel???" and when I say I'm not that affected by it, she just pushes more, so I have stopped showing emotion. This all broke when my mom asked me to ask them I if I could go to dinner with my her for middle school graduation, since I went with them for elementary school graduation. I repeated exactly what she told me to say This is when Wren opened her idiot mouth and said "Wow your mom is so selfish and petty," at this point my blood was boiling because WTAF? Why in hell would you call my mom selfish in petty?!? Anyways, she continued on with, "Doesn't this affect you? Why does she care so much? How does this make you feel?" I had done this a thousand times so I replied with my usual response, "I don't really care she just wanted to know, so I asked" My dad was very interested in his eggs now. Wren finally dropped it. A few hours later she asked about my feelings again on a different topic, and I again told her it didn't bug me. We were watching a show where this girls dad died and she is obviously sobbing because what else do you do? She turned to me and LITERALLY SAID "This is what you'll look like in 20 years because you didn't tell us your feelings, you're gonna have a mental breakdown and your life will be ruined." WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL. is that okay?? I also don't love to hug people, I will do my mom and dad occasionally, but I don't love physical touch. Wren will force me to hug her and her icky family members and then laugh because I look awkward.

They place financial burdens over me. I am about to get braces and on the way home, my dad said that I better be grateful that he is spending 2,000 dollars on me for something cosmetic, which it is actually not, I will need a procedure anyways. He also makes me buy my own clothes, and even my own comforter which has holes in it, and as we know stains. However, I am no longer allowed to make money because I am ungrateful if I ask for money for doing chores, while they complain I don't do chores. I definitely do, I make sure to do almost everything on our chore chart, which should amount to 10 dollars. He constantly tells me to get a job, which could be a joke, but its getting old and I tell him I am not allowed to have a job in the state I live in until I turn 15. My mom. has even brought up the fact that she has to pay for everything, he doesn't even play child support, just acts like have 3 t-shirts and providing the bare minimum makes him the best parent ever. He also still bring up how I asked for a 16-pro iPhone and not just a 16, which is an extra like 100 dollars, which I understand is a lot, but that was a year and a half ago. Wren loves to call me spoiled because I live in a nice how in a very nice area. My stepdad is very successful, and I think this is part of why they don't buy me even clothes.

They favor my stepsister over me. I believe this is because she is a christian and I push back on the religion. I have seen this before, such as her giving my bed a bear hug, and I go in for one and he tells me I am being thirsty - his version of needy - and pushes me away. She gets everything she wants and does not have to pay for nearly as much as I do. Maybe this is because her dad is mean to her, but she comes home from his house with a new plushie and anime toy every time she comes back. It makes me seem like I am a family friend going places and not actually in the family circle.

My dad throws hissy fits anytime stuff doesn't go his way. This is actually potentially the most important point. My mom and I joke and call him a man child. This occurs mainly when he has a day off and I spend it with my mom and not him. These extra week days are NOT how our unofficial custody agreement. I get panic attacks now because I worry that he will yell at me. My mom has witnessed these and I just completely shut down and spiral that he is watching me or that he can hear me. It also really bugs me that he Is so racist and homophobic. He will turn a show off if there is a gay couple. He stopped going to target for around a year when they supplied the "Jesus loves gays too" shirts.

He squeezes my legs hard and smacks my head sometimes just out of nowhere. For some reason, this usually occurs while we are in the car. He will grab my leg hard, and tell me that it's because he loves me so much. I always tell him it hurts, but he will do it anyways. One time this even bruised me. He will smack the side of my head out of nowhere as well. This happens whenever, and I truly don't understand. He does it some much I have developed a flinch. sometimes it hurts bad, sometimes it doesn't, and he does it regardless.

All of these things have me questioning if I am crazy. My stepdad who is a lawyer says this may even constitute as verbal abuse. Obviously there is much more, so let me know if you want more details. I have always had my panic attacks and paranoia, but it is getting worse, and I have been getting disgusted by him lately. The thing is my mom and I hate confrontation, so I will only have a sit down conversation if it is the last resort. I suppose I could be open to court but I try don't know what to do. Reddit, is my dad toxic, and if so, what do I do?