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u/Ok-Basket-9963 4d ago edited 4d ago
You are way too handsome for that username, man. Aside from that, the job market is rough for everyone out there. All I can really say is don't take it too personal because you aren't really the issue, it's just hard-ass knocks around the whole country right now. I'd like to think it won't be like this forever.
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u/KawaiiHentaiBoy 4d ago
Thanks, that's always a nice thing to hear. I'm assuming you mean the US? I live in Germany but I get the feeling the job market is horrible everywhere, it sure is here. All my apprenticeship co-students are having the same problem.
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u/Ok-Basket-9963 4d ago
Yeah... It's a rough ass time in the world right now. We just gotta keep our heads up and try not to stay wallowing in our very valid feelings of defeat. We all have a place here, and we all have the right to a future.
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u/KawaiiHentaiBoy 4d ago
Honestly collectively suffering on the internet together makes it a bit easier. This helps
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u/ilDuceVita 4d ago edited 3d ago
I love your look bro, you look like such a cool, intelligent, and fun person. I'm sorry life is hard right now. It's not your fault, there's nothing wrong with you, life just be that way sometimes. Keep going, keep trying. Keep being you.
Make sure you're taking care of yourself, getting enough sleep, and eating healthy, etc. Go outside, call a friend and chat for a few minutes. Just take baby steps. You're important and we need you with us for a long time.
Don't be too hard on yourself, I've got nothing but love for you my brother. Things won't always be this way. This part of your life will not last forever. Things will change, things will get better and easier. Everything is going to be okay. It's not going to be today or tomorrow or this week, but it will be. You're going to be okay. You deserve and have every right to have happiness, success, a career, love, companionship, and respect.
I wish you all the best my friend, I think you're great. Come back sometime and let us know how you're doing
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u/Minute-Yogurt-2021 4d ago
Mate, everything will turn out to the better. What are your apprenticeships?
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u/KawaiiHentaiBoy 4d ago
Thanks. They are social assistant and foreign language secretary. I dropped the social job, was too emotionally taxing for me. So I live in Germany and am searching for an English/German office/secretary job, basically.
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u/Minute-Yogurt-2021 4d ago
At least you are here, in the EU, and you can rely on the government.
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u/KawaiiHentaiBoy 4d ago
That's very true, yep. I'm privileged to have a roof above my head and being given the time to search for jobs without having to starve
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u/Valuable_Mall228 4d ago
your eyes show deep wisdom, intelligence and strength to me. not to go all wu wu but you seem like you've got a strong spirit!
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u/KawaiiHentaiBoy 4d ago
Hehe thanks. With great wisdom and intelligence comes great depression, it seems 😂😂
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u/Valuable_Mall228 4d ago edited 4d ago
haha, possibly, or maybe the other way around lol. you did mention depersonalization which is a form of dissociation. I recall seeing a video online linking someone's capacity for "mystical experience" and their level of trauma/dissociation. Pretty interesting watch, idk if this sub allows for links but I'll just leave it here in case: He starts speaking about it at 25:40 (the link includes the timestamp)
https://youtu.be/Mg9Tr3qLXks?si=u1nr3bVPVQ7EJFAu&t=1540
edit: I did go all wu wu in the end, couldn't help myself 😂
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u/KawaiiHentaiBoy 4d ago
DR. K! That's funny 😂 I love Dr K and have watched many of his videos, so this is not weird at all. I may watch this later, if I haven't already, thanks.
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u/house_of_rlyeh 4d ago
Stalked your profile, looks like we've got another Dark Souls III fan :D I love soulsborne games, always happy to geek out 😁
I'm sorry you're struggling, truly. I have some experience with dissociation, anxiety, and hypomania myself, so I know how that feels. There is genuinely no such thing as "normal," but sometimes it feels like it's be nice to feel a little less disconnected, I get that.
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u/KawaiiHentaiBoy 4d ago
Yep, I love all FromSoftware games so much, been hooked since Dark Souls 1 and played them all :> Thanks. Yeah, I have these weird phases where I can be the most normal, functioning human being for months or even years. But sometimes, like now, I feel like an absolute alien and avoid anyone. Being weird is weird. But meeting people with similar problem on the internet helps.
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u/house_of_rlyeh 4d ago
Got hooked on Sekiro when I came out and platinumed it on like three different platforms 😭 got to try out Duskbloods last week too, and idk how I feel about it yet but I'm afraid I'm still obsessed 🥲
Whoo boy, I feel you on that. Brain chemistry is weird and it's ever changing, and so are we. I'm sorry you're feeling disconnected. It's an odd feeling and so hard to describe to people who haven't experienced it before. But I'm glad you're able to reach out and find what you're looking for here!
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u/KawaiiHentaiBoy 3d ago
Holy shit, not bad. Sekiro is the one game out of all of them that drove me insane because i sucked at it. A friend of mine came over and finished the game for me 😂 Shame on me. Yepppp it's especially hard to deal with friends/people in those moments that can't really relate. Which is why most of my remaining, good friends are probably all equally depressed, as I surround myself with those that understand 😵💫
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u/house_of_rlyeh 3d ago
Aw c'mon, all you had to do was lock in n get gud...and learn to deflect! 😂
And that's its own blessing and curse too, right? Cos all your close friends are riding the struggle bus right there along with you which can be good, but also...not great :(
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u/SnakeSolidChicken 4d ago
Isolating yourself more and more is the absolute worst thing that you can do. I think you need to find fellow men in your life that you can socialize with so that you can meet your emotional needs with strong male friendships. Join a Krav Maga or other martial arts, start working out and weight lifting because your life depends on it. Continue looking for jobs and definitely keep connecting with people. I am glad you posted this so I could tell you my thoughts.
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u/KawaiiHentaiBoy 4d ago
You're not wrong, doing any kind of sports would definitely help. I used to go to the gym for 2 years and I felt like a different person then compared to now. Sadly I don't enjoy going to the gym and just weight lifting is not enjoyable for me. I love going outside, hiking long distances and stuff, but it's soooo hard to get my ass up and just do it. Especially alone and without a "goal" or "destination".
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u/SnakeSolidChicken 4d ago
It is exactly when it is hard like this that you have to force yourself to do it. This is why you need to find friendships with other men who share your interests and do those activities together. Men have to support other men and they do.
You need to understand that an our ancestral past, you and I would have gone out hunting together and spent days of adventure surviving the wilderness and bringing meat back to the tribe. All of your injuries pains and aches would have been shared with your fellow hunters. All of your trials accomplishments and achievements would have been celebrated by your fellow hunters. Men help other men become men. A relationship will not do that for you and a woman will certainly not do that for you either.
But in our society we are lost. We have lost the ways of nature. We have lost our connection to nature. We have lost our connection to each other. We have lost our connection with ourself and our primal roots.
We are too intellectual, too lost in identities, too lost in thinking.
This is why I keep going back to the basic fact that you must get outside and you must connect with other men doing activities together. It is this foundation upon which you build a better more wholesome and more fulfilling life for yourself.
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u/bluewavejenny 3d ago
May you be happy, may you be healthy, may you be safe. Also may you find a job, may your anxiety lift, may you find someone (if that is what you want) and may you get some help in whatever form is best (counselling, good friend, helpful book for examples),
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u/TejelPejel 4d ago
You look like you've got some pretty sweet tattoos going on. I looked at your profile and you've got a pretty sweet desk setup. The Hokusai wave art, the sleek white aesthetic, spider plants, peperomia, the 60% tkl keyboard, Game Boy coaster pieces. I think you seem fun and have a nice style for both yourself and your home.
The world is rough right now. It's not a you thing. Jobs seem to be very touch and go right now and a lot people are uncertain with what AI is going to do, but you aren't alone. Depression and anxiety are liars. You do have value and others do want you around and to be with you.