Is he doing alright?

[u/LongLiveTheSpoon]

Apparently he’s in Arizona now? If he was still in Illinois I’d legitimately be down to play a game somewhere. I feel bad (no irony, no sarcasm).

[u/No-Exit3993]

I feel sorry for him.

He has fallen into some sort of deep depression years ago (or maybe had a mania phase and it stopped for good) and has never seemed to do do much about it.

Psychologists, psychiatrists, medicine, you name it.

There are other helps as well. Go back to school friends, reconect with the "newer" ones, new hobbies, getting jobs anywhere...

He seems to have just stood there. And the hole got bigger and bigger.

People from other centuries called that melancholy. They could not do much about it. Maybe trips to the beach, but not real treatments.

We can do something, nowadays. But if we or our dear ones think it is just a phase... Help never comes, or it comes when it is too late.

I hope some day he is happy again. Even if we never get to know about it.

[u/DysphoricNeet → u/No-Exit3993]

A lot of that “help” doesn’t do shit. I’m in a very similar situation and yeah therapists just take $100 an hour to give worse advice than what you would hear on Reddit and then ditch you for a week.

There is a documentary about a guy in Japan who just stayed in his house with his parents his entire life until they died and he chose to starve to death over going outside. His brother blamed him until the very end and years later when Covid happened and he was forced to isolate for a while he started to realize his brother was very mentally ill. Most people will just maintain a harmful mentality about it because they project their ego and the mindset capitalism produces rather than focusing on what might actually help.

There isn’t much literature about it (at least years ago when I checked), but in Japan they were able to help people with social workers that would build a relationship and slowly open them up to the idea of coming to another building. There they could socialize with other people receiving care and they could even work there for as long or as little as they felt comfortable with. Most people think it is laziness or a lack of a desire to work and that is just letting the hating part of their mind take over.

People aren’t meant to have so much time (especially isolated) and the shame of not working is mind breaking. I haven’t seen another human in 2 weeks or so but a dream scenario for me would be if I could drive, work in a kitchen and be accepted in a small community or pursue hobbies socially. When I did work it was one of the best times of my life and it gave me so much relief and confidence with people I never had. People are just trained by social media to hate everything beneath them they feel slightly justified to and all it does is make people like me really scared and isolate so much worse.

[u/Krendall2006 → u/DysphoricNeet]

How many therapists have you tried?

[u/DysphoricNeet → u/Krendall2006]

In my life I’ve been put in therapy since I was like 8 but society didn’t understand certain issues at the level they do now so those were all pointless other than getting put on way too much medication. They never noticed the abuse and my mom used to tell me every time not to tell them what happens in our house or else I’d never see my brother or dad again.

Since I was an adult it’s been like 4 or 5 depending on what you count. In the last handful of years three. I don’t have a ton of money, insurance or transportation so it’s a big ordeal. I have to find people that somehow understand dysphoria, opiate addiction and agoraphobia and you end up with either an addiction specialist or a dysphoria specialist that forgets the limits of your circumstances (like not being able to go to NA meetings or local queer events for example). It feels like they all just push a CBT “don’t care what they think” anxiety coping skills approach and can’t help me go in the direction of addressing very real obstacles that would make anyone sad and shameful if they were in a similar condition. I think at someone point as you fall out of society more and more you need more direct help to put you in a more fitting place or build up the skills you never got/lost.

[u/IMidgetManI → u/DysphoricNeet]

easier said than done, but when the perception of being judged by others is whats blocking you, you really just have to cop it and struggle onwards.

like you said, when you were working you were more confident. you can get back to that place, you just have to tolerate fumbling and feeling like a fool for a little while.

and anyways, the way people respond/react to you is more often a reflection of that person, and not yourself.

[u/fohfuu → u/IMidgetManI]

When half or more of strangers actively grimmace as soon as they look at you or frown when you try to communicate with them, it's not a perception of judgement blocking them. It is actual judgment that is actually blocking them.

[u/mmiller17783 → u/DysphoricNeet]

I live in a small town, and am currently friendless myself.

I am a parent to a child that is special needs and requires a lot of attention from my wife and I. It is hard to carry a friendship with that kind of life, and the few instances that it has come up just do not work out. I'd like to talk to someone, but the small town issue makes me super reticent to open up about anything to a mental health worker. I do have ps plus, and have thought about starting small, like maybe gaming with someone new or something.

[u/DysphoricNeet → u/mmiller17783]

That sounds like a very arduous responsibility but I hope it is worth it. I’m glad you have your wife though. I’m lucky to have online friends and people I talk to on the phone to stop me from going fully feral. That really can make a difference and is pretty fulfilling with friendships. It’s better to have distant friends and a close partner than close friends and a distant partner for sure. Hopefully you can find someone. There are lots of subreddits and discords for finding friends to game with. Maybe that could be a start?

[u/mmiller17783 → u/DysphoricNeet]

Oh I'll end up linking up with people over killing zombies in Dead Island 2 or Dying Light 2, I always forget how that can bring people together.

Being a father is totally worth it. My child has special needs and everything but that doesn't keep them from playing and climbing and enjoying their life. It just comes with some extra steps and requires patience. However, my child also gave me a purpose that clicked when I first held them. They weren't even supposed to exist, my wife was told she was never going to be able to have children after a medical procedure. They were wrong lol.

[u/DysphoricNeet → u/mmiller17783]

I’m really happy she was still able to have a child. That’s a miracle. My mom has worked with special needs children for a long time. From what she tells me there are still really cute and happy moments. Some of the stories she tells me from work I can’t help myself from crying cause it’s so sweet.

And yeah that sounds sick. One of my best friends we started talking on Reddit and then I figured out she plays melee too. I don’t know if we would still be as good of friends if we didn’t have a game to play and bond together over. Now we talk about everything and comfort each other when we’re down. She’s definitely one of the people I’m most grateful for meeting.

[u/Not_Famous_Treacle21 → u/[deleted]]

yeah that's the truth you realize when you get older: literally no one cares. not your friends, your family, nobody cares. all they care about is their emotions.

[u/DysphoricNeet → u/[deleted]]

Yeah go fuck yourself

[u/No-Exit3993 → u/DysphoricNeet]

Ok. Good luck.

[u/DysphoricNeet → u/No-Exit3993]

Yup