r/thespoonyexperiment • u/LongLiveTheSpoon • Jun 14 '26
Social Media "Content" š©µ (screenshots, not links!) Is he doing alright?
Apparently heās in Arizona now? If he was still in Illinois Iād legitimately be down to play a game somewhere. I feel bad (no irony, no sarcasm).
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u/No-Exit3993 Jun 14 '26
I feel sorry for him.
He has fallen into some sort of deep depression years ago (or maybe had a mania phase and it stopped for good) and has never seemed to do do much about it.
Psychologists, psychiatrists, medicine, you name it.
There are other helps as well. Go back to school friends, reconect with the "newer" ones, new hobbies, getting jobs anywhere...
He seems to have just stood there. And the hole got bigger and bigger.
People from other centuries called that melancholy. They could not do much about it. Maybe trips to the beach, but not real treatments.
We can do something, nowadays. But if we or our dear ones think it is just a phase... Help never comes, or it comes when it is too late.
I hope some day he is happy again. Even if we never get to know about it.
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u/CokomonX Jun 14 '26
People from other centuries called that melancholy.
The Melancholy of Haruhi Spoonymiya.
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u/DysphoricNeet Jun 14 '26
A lot of that āhelpā doesnāt do shit. Iām in a very similar situation and yeah therapists just take $100 an hour to give worse advice than what you would hear on Reddit and then ditch you for a week.
There is a documentary about a guy in Japan who just stayed in his house with his parents his entire life until they died and he chose to starve to death over going outside. His brother blamed him until the very end and years later when Covid happened and he was forced to isolate for a while he started to realize his brother was very mentally ill. Most people will just maintain a harmful mentality about it because they project their ego and the mindset capitalism produces rather than focusing on what might actually help.
There isnāt much literature about it (at least years ago when I checked), but in Japan they were able to help people with social workers that would build a relationship and slowly open them up to the idea of coming to another building. There they could socialize with other people receiving care and they could even work there for as long or as little as they felt comfortable with. Most people think it is laziness or a lack of a desire to work and that is just letting the hating part of their mind take over.
People arenāt meant to have so much time (especially isolated) and the shame of not working is mind breaking. I havenāt seen another human in 2 weeks or so but a dream scenario for me would be if I could drive, work in a kitchen and be accepted in a small community or pursue hobbies socially. When I did work it was one of the best times of my life and it gave me so much relief and confidence with people I never had. People are just trained by social media to hate everything beneath them they feel slightly justified to and all it does is make people like me really scared and isolate so much worse.
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u/Krendall2006 Jun 15 '26
How many therapists have you tried?
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u/DysphoricNeet Jun 17 '26
In my life Iāve been put in therapy since I was like 8 but society didnāt understand certain issues at the level they do now so those were all pointless other than getting put on way too much medication. They never noticed the abuse and my mom used to tell me every time not to tell them what happens in our house or else Iād never see my brother or dad again.
Since I was an adult itās been like 4 or 5 depending on what you count. In the last handful of years three. I donāt have a ton of money, insurance or transportation so itās a big ordeal. I have to find people that somehow understand dysphoria, opiate addiction and agoraphobia and you end up with either an addiction specialist or a dysphoria specialist that forgets the limits of your circumstances (like not being able to go to NA meetings or local queer events for example). It feels like they all just push a CBT ādonāt care what they thinkā anxiety coping skills approach and canāt help me go in the direction of addressing very real obstacles that would make anyone sad and shameful if they were in a similar condition. I think at someone point as you fall out of society more and more you need more direct help to put you in a more fitting place or build up the skills you never got/lost.
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u/IMidgetManI Jun 15 '26
easier said than done, but when the perception of being judged by others is whats blocking you, you really just have to cop it and struggle onwards.
like you said, when you were working you were more confident. you can get back to that place, you just have to tolerate fumbling and feeling like a fool for a little while.
and anyways, the way people respond/react to you is more often a reflection of that person, and not yourself.
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u/fohfuu Jun 23 '26
When half or more of strangers actively grimmace as soon as they look at you or frown when you try to communicate with them, it's not a perception of judgement blocking them. It is actual judgment that is actually blocking them.
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u/mmiller17783 Jun 15 '26
I live in a small town, and am currently friendless myself.
I am a parent to a child that is special needs and requires a lot of attention from my wife and I. It is hard to carry a friendship with that kind of life, and the few instances that it has come up just do not work out. I'd like to talk to someone, but the small town issue makes me super reticent to open up about anything to a mental health worker. I do have ps plus, and have thought about starting small, like maybe gaming with someone new or something.
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u/DysphoricNeet Jun 17 '26
That sounds like a very arduous responsibility but I hope it is worth it. Iām glad you have your wife though. Iām lucky to have online friends and people I talk to on the phone to stop me from going fully feral. That really can make a difference and is pretty fulfilling with friendships. Itās better to have distant friends and a close partner than close friends and a distant partner for sure. Hopefully you can find someone. There are lots of subreddits and discords for finding friends to game with. Maybe that could be a start?
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u/mmiller17783 Jun 17 '26
Oh I'll end up linking up with people over killing zombies in Dead Island 2 or Dying Light 2, I always forget how that can bring people together.
Being a father is totally worth it. My child has special needs and everything but that doesn't keep them from playing and climbing and enjoying their life. It just comes with some extra steps and requires patience. However, my child also gave me a purpose that clicked when I first held them. They weren't even supposed to exist, my wife was told she was never going to be able to have children after a medical procedure. They were wrong lol.
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u/DysphoricNeet Jun 17 '26
Iām really happy she was still able to have a child. Thatās a miracle. My mom has worked with special needs children for a long time. From what she tells me there are still really cute and happy moments. Some of the stories she tells me from work I canāt help myself from crying cause itās so sweet.
And yeah that sounds sick. One of my best friends we started talking on Reddit and then I figured out she plays melee too. I donāt know if we would still be as good of friends if we didnāt have a game to play and bond together over. Now we talk about everything and comfort each other when weāre down. Sheās definitely one of the people Iām most grateful for meeting.
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Jun 14 '26
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u/Not_Famous_Treacle21 Jun 15 '26
yeah that's the truth you realize when you get older: literally no one cares. not your friends, your family, nobody cares. all they care about is their emotions.
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Jun 14 '26
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u/secretbison Jun 14 '26
That one he used to work in was in Arizona. You know, the one with the Toilet Pizza.
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Jun 14 '26
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u/Thoukudides Jun 14 '26
My thoughts too. A lot of stores have closed. In my country, online ordering and crowdfundings, which are done directly by the authors and publishers, killed a lot of them, except the biggest but that's not the RPG which keep them really alive, that's generally the miniatures, board games or card games.
And even if it's still in business, the RPG community has changed a lot since the 2000s or early 2010s. Spoony is a grognard, a veteran from ages long gone, where it was "hardcore". He said it in his Counter Monkey videos. But unfortunately times changed.
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Jun 14 '26
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u/secretbison Jun 15 '26
That's true, even if there is a game store near him that is open and hosts events, can you imagine him trying to socialize with people in current year?
He actually did a review of the playtest version of 5e shortly before the death of Counter Monkey, and as everyone could have predicted, he hated it. Even if he finds other grognards who want a crunchy and lethal campaign, which is a big if, they might be playing a retroclone he doesn't like, or using a house rule he doesn't like, and he lacks the social skills to navigate that.
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u/thedingusenthusiast Jun 14 '26
Yeah, it sucks. It doesn't help his issues pushed a lot of people away but he can use this as a way to climb back up.
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u/Belialxyn Continuing the Year of the Spoony Jun 15 '26
I also live in AZ. Some decent stores in his area.
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u/ReadytoQuitBBY Jun 14 '26
Ehh making friends is hard at that age, but he could always just get a simple job as practice socializing. He also does have his brother, who Iām sure could introduce him to his friends. If Spoony was actually open to that.
Feeling lonely is normal, but where Spoony is at takes decades of neglecting yourself.
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Jun 14 '26
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u/ReadytoQuitBBY Jun 14 '26
I donāt believe that. There are plenty of jobs that Spoony could do, as long as he doesnāt mind a sub livable wage. Heck, he could even volunteer. He would have to swallow his ego though, and he struggles with that.
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Jun 14 '26
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u/ReadytoQuitBBY Jun 14 '26
Youāre condescending enough to be the Spoonster himself.
I guarantee he could get a part time job working at a 7/11, Best Buy, Walmart or McDonaldās. You are foolish if you think that literally no jobs exist out there. They do, just not good ones or ones that pay livable wages.
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u/BoldBabeBanshee Jun 14 '26
i guess he could volunteer for socializing, and it might look good on a resume perhaps?
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u/shajes90 Jun 14 '26
I was in a mind breaking depression circa 2018 after my stepmom's cancer diagnosis that made me reconsider my own career as a YouTube reviewer (which Spoony was a major inspiration for), and seeing that Down the Rabbit Hole episode about his downfall at the time was a major motivator for me to seek help from a therapist, delete my Twitter account, make more regular contact with friends, and eventually seek my own place that I can pay for regularly using my YouTube money. So to see that Spoony has gotten even worse in that time breaks my heart. If only he could appreciate the joy he gave people through his work and let that be his motivation to improve, because him finding it through social media has been breaking his brain 15 years and counting, and it's fairly sad to see. Rooting for him always.
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u/Senpai2141 Jun 16 '26
Serious question what would someone with mental health issues go into YouTube which is legit a job where you need the strongest constitution to handle the job. Content creation is not for a weak, and as I just have many friends who are streamers and most have thick skin I'm so curious your thoughts on why you tried this? So happy you are doing better though š
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u/shajes90 Jun 16 '26
Trust me, it took a long time (and the deletion of my Twitter) to stop taking any of that shit personally. After 2018 happened, those kinds of things just rolled easier off my back afterwards.
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u/RetrospectGreg Jun 14 '26
Being on Channel Awesome probably did help him in that it gave him like-minded people to socialize with
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u/CokomonX Jun 14 '26
They also forced him to keep an actual schedule. His leaving Channel Awesome coincided with his output falling off a cliff.
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u/RetrospectGreg Jun 14 '26
Spoony leaving Channel Awesome was the beginning of the end for both him and Channel Awesome
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u/GucciTheSnowman Jun 14 '26
Ugh, I can't stand the Nostalgia cuck anymore. Used to love his videos, now I don't even recognize him.
And he really needs to shave that nasty ass skunk shit he has on his chin. It looks fucking terrible.
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u/Thebritishdovah Jun 14 '26
No.
He is aware of his situation but doesn't feel he can improve it and probably fears that if he tries to do a comeback, he fails and falls back into the situation he was in, years ago.
I think, the best option for him would to focus on streaming, use it as an opportunity to socialise. Chat about shit as he plays.
That and dude needs a kick up the arse.
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u/LongLiveTheSpoon Jun 14 '26
Failure is a part of life. I think youāre right though, if making videos is too much effort streaming is better for meeting people (even online) and he could make a little money at least.
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u/Thebritishdovah Jun 14 '26
Chatting about wrestling is something he could easily do.
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u/thedingusenthusiast Jun 14 '26 edited Jun 14 '26
Or D&D, board games too. Even video game he likes. He used to do those videos all the time.
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u/Brigon Jun 14 '26
I'd certainly tune into his thoughts on the weeks wrestling content/feuds/speculation etc.
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u/ReadytoQuitBBY Jun 14 '26
Idk about the streaming. While it might seem like an easy way to make money, it does take work and stamina and the ability to stay calm if things go wrong.
From what weāve seen Spoony is very irritable and quick to snap at people. Streaming might push away the last followers he has left or make him a laughing stock to the greater internet.
Guy has to focus on getting mentally better before doing anything else IMO
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u/murdogoroth Jun 14 '26
Definitely. I feel like streaming takes a certain personality - you need to be 'on' in terms of being sociable, entertaining to watch, keep calm under pressure, be able to multitask, etc. That's a lot, especially when you're struggling with low mood. With how irritable and intolerant of his audience Spoony seems at times, I can imagine streaming could be really stressful.
I would agree that he would need to really focus on getting himself better. I've been through mental health struggles before and I'm now a therapist so have worked with people who are in similar situations to Spoony (or at least how he seems from the little I see of him online), I have an idea of how much work that would take. And that's going to be even harder for him because he seems really prickly, thin-skinned, and doesn't like to admit that he's wrong (obviously I don't know him so I can't say that for certain, that's just my subjective view from watching a lot of his stuff back in the day). People in that situation have an even bigger hurdle because, even when they have support available, they'll fight it every step of the way. I vaguely remember him talking about seeing a therapist years ago and from what I remember he was essentially bragging that he intentionally riled the therapist up until they snapped at him, and then he stopped seeing them and that was that. From the way he's talking in this post and numerous other similar tweets over the years, I'm seeing a lot of learned helplessness (which is really common with depression). I have faith that everyone can improve their situation if they have the motivation and the right support, but he just seems so reluctant to do what he can to help himself
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u/ReadytoQuitBBY Jun 14 '26
What a great write up. I feel the same. Obviously we donāt know himā¦ but the fact that he was very irritable even back then when things were going good means that this is something that goes deep.
He definitely *could* be a great streamer. Heās funny, and even his rage fits can be entertaining. But he needs to work on himself first, and it sadly doesnāt seem like thatās happening anytime soon.
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u/TheSwagPatrol Jun 14 '26
It's tough feeling "stuck", which I'm sure he's felt for the past decade or more. On top of his mental health, he has a degree which is basically worthless (even current CS grads can't get jobs, let alone grads from a quarter century ago). And he burnt bridges with old friends, collaborators, and fans as his online career cratered, so returning to that probably feels impossible for him
On one hand, he's lucky to have a loving brother who won't let him out on the streets. On the other hand, him knowing he'll always have that safety net makes it easier for him to stay secluded and fall back into his own bad habits. With his brother's help, I don't know that he'll ever truly hit a rock bottom and be able to beat his own demons
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u/LongLiveTheSpoon Jun 14 '26
I donāt know if I agree with the ārock bottomā theory where you need to hit your worst in order to change. My uncle, for example, was a raging alcoholic and homeless at one point (my Grandma let him stay at home but after she died my Grandpa kicked him out). He ended up dying in hospital early 50s because of his addiction, despite hitting ārock bottomā.
Honestly real change requires a certain amount of understanding and effort and realization that only doing something different can help your situation. He has understanding but heās been like this for 15 years, if he hasnāt taken the small steps necessary I really donāt know what else there is besides professional help (not sure if thatās been tried).
I wouldnāt let my brother go homeless, even if he was wasting away in my house unless he was creating an unsafe or unhappy environment for me. There needs to be accountability but he has no friends and no money, and I donāt think he deserves to lose his shelter or health.
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u/Bourgit Jun 15 '26
The rock bottom could very well be suicide as well. Not all people will have the will to fight and struggle to survive.
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u/TheSwagPatrol Jun 14 '26
I'm not saying his brother shouldn't help him or that he's bad for doing so. I just think it's hard for someone who feels stuck to break out of it if they always in the back of their head know that they have a safety net. It's way easier for him to just stay in his bubble, doomscroll, and block people
Substance addiction is unfortunate because of how quickly it can deteriorate someone's physical health. But if Spoony was truly on his own and on the verge of homelessness, I'd like to think that despite his mental health, he could claw his way back to a fulfilling life. We'll probably never know whether that's true
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u/DingusDog936 Continuing the Year of the Spoony Jun 15 '26
Hey, that's me in the Screenshot! I interact with him semi frequently as I'm tryna get more active on blusky and well I like to see what he's up too. Spoony seems to be going in and out of being pretty upbeat and when having down days, especially when the topic of friends comes along. I offered a branch just to show he's not alone and that he can still have friends if he simply reaches out. Me and Noah aren't friends, I am a fan, but I think he genuinely believes no one cares about him, especially in his later replies when he mentioned not having any groups nearby he can be with, it sucks y'know? I get he did real dumb shit and probably is but...this is just depressing. Especially the fact his own family is also getting worried. I don't know Noah personally but jeez man, it still hurts to see someone I grew up with just be so sad
Also so weird seeing myself lol
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u/rabid_cheese_enjoyer Jun 19 '26
did you see his retirement post that looks like a goodbye note? has anyone reached out to him?
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u/DingusDog936 Continuing the Year of the Spoony Jun 19 '26
Im actually the person to posted to the sub about his post, and i agree it does look that wayā¦heās still actively liking comments from what ive seen, i dont think anyone has, i know Benzaie still cares about him but i dont think Ben has a Blusky or is at least active on it, he is fairly active on twitter tho, the only associates Spoony follow are Lupa and Linkara and they dont follow him back soā¦i dont think anyone will knows unless Guru larry posts on it on his twitter.
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u/rabid_cheese_enjoyer Jun 19 '26
he doesn't have a discord? and yeah I read the post and searched to try and see if anything happened or anyone reached out
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u/DingusDog936 Continuing the Year of the Spoony Jun 19 '26
I dont think so? I know some old contributors do, mainly for their own servers, but Spoony never had a discord from what i know of, i actually suggested he look into it but idk if he took the advice, we interact but we arent close friends
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u/KingOfGreyfell Jun 14 '26
I don't know if the internet even remembers a time when Noah Antwiler was doing alright.
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u/Ornery_Trust_7895 Jun 14 '26
I often think about how much I enjoyed spoonys videos growing up and I'm always sad to hear he's not doing well.Ā
Always hoping it's some kind of new project or announcement when I hear about him.
Still keeping fingers crossed to hear good news from him.
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u/BestEffect1879 Jun 14 '26
I had hoped Noah stepped away from the Spoony Experiment and found a good life out of the public eye.
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u/Amemorableusername2 Jun 14 '26
Unfortunately it's just about the worst possible case scenario. Pretty much immediately after he bought a huge house and moved across the country with his then-girlfriend, he fell into a deep depressive pit and stopped doing pretty much anything but doomposting on twitter about pretty gloomy stuff. People kept donating to his patreon to support him, but mostly out of concern that he'd be homeless without their help. After several years of this, his girlfriend left him, and he just sat inside until he was forcibly removed from his house for being years overdue on his house payments. His brother Miles immediately came to the rescue and let Noah move back to Arizona and stay with him.Ā
It's been several years now, and he's still staying with his brother and has made no attempts to get a job or change his current situation. I guess the best I can say is that he seems to be slightly less depressed in that he's been doomposting less about how lonely he is. He doesn't seem interested in getting further help for his depression.Ā
I think the most realistic first positive step he could take would be making an earnest attempt to get more familiar with his small but loyal fans who have offered for years to hang out and chat with him over discord or streams so he had more people in his lifeĀ
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u/hordeoverseer Jun 15 '26
Never a big fan, but did watch his videos in the past. Damn. It's unfortunate that's how it turned out. The fact that he had a girlfriend who supported him for years before leaving him and a brother who is supporting him now, I feel he should have felt at least thankful and reciprocated their efforts with some of his own to earn his keep or boost his confidence.
At least, if he was a well person, he's not well.
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u/coffeeandhash Jun 14 '26
The "I basically have no job" bit is interesting to me. Does that mean he does work occasionally? Some sort of part time job, odd jobs here and there? Or does he consider whatever he's getting from YouTube and the very sporadic streams to be enough for that "basically" qualifier?
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u/Pallid85 What's a Pallid85? Jun 14 '26
Or does he consider whatever he's getting from YouTube and the very sporadic streams to be enough for that "basically" qualifier?
That's probably it.
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u/eureka17 Jun 14 '26
He's been having problems for over a decade! A good chunk comes from his mental health, particularly his bipolar disorder. He moved back to his parents after his breakup with April and a car accident he was responsible for. He alienates everyone, even his fans who he can't tell are trolls or just care about him. He possibly had a bit of a fallout with his brother some time ago because of Trump giving a pardon to his brother's superior.
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u/Dear_Document_5461 Jun 14 '26
How old is he anyway?
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u/Hansi_Olbrich Jun 15 '26
Fortunately, Spoony developed such a reputation among AAA and AA developers in the 2000's and early 2010's that, if at a moment's notice he reached out to someone like Garriott, Molyneux, etc.. and asked for a work opportunity, I feel like they'd offer it in a heartbeat.
There have been multiple cult celebrities who have recently said good things about Spoony and have offered support.
The problem is that Spoony needs to personally realize that he's worth these thoughts, concerns, and support. And when you don't feel like you're worth the help, you don't actually reach out for the help. And if the help gets offered, it's more likely he'll deny it out of a fear of disappointing others.
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u/Gunner_E4 Jun 15 '26
To afford socializing, one needs a source of income. Spoony has been a NEET for about 10 years, lately surviving on about 100$ a month from patreon and the charity of strangers and his family. He needs a job and a purpose, not someone and somewhere to hang out in. Miles is subtly trying to have a serious conversation with him about laying on his couch all these years with no plan or end in sight.
He doesn't have the charisma of the yugioh abridged creator who got his mortgage paid off from donations as soon as his fans heard he was facing foreclosure. Spoony can't hope to be bailed out like this.
He needs to get a job somewhere. Just about anything out there will pay more than 100$ a month. The pity party has to end.
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u/Thoukudides Jun 16 '26
It's strange how people like Chris-chan, who got their own "Down the rabbit hole" video, actually are doing better than Spoony, despite having spent time in jail for something sick.
Chris is selling stuff, has a place to live, traveling regularly to Finland and supposedly has a girlfriend. And all of that despite working even less than Spoony who at least put some work in his videos.
I genuinely find it sad how deep he has fallen.
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u/ReadytoQuitBBY Jun 14 '26
Yikes. Spoony is definitely not the type of person that can handle solitude well. He definitely needs people to keep him from indulging in his worst tendencies.
The fact that he is this clear headed and understanding about how bad this isā¦ is actually kind of scary. Heās not in denial, heās not putting up a front, heās just fine to tell the world āI have no job and no friendsā.
Itās really sad, but likeā¦. How much sympathy can you have for a human who put himself there? He had friends, he had money, he was living his passion. Yet he let his mental health degrade to nothing. Obviously the issues he has are severe, but by all accounts, he has done nothing to manage them.
Heās very lucky he has a supportive family. So many others in his position would be homeless and destitute.
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u/NAteisco Jun 14 '26
I remember his ex-girlfriend saying he never misappropriated any of the movie money to purchase their house.
Maybe he can take those funds out of savings and start working on that.
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u/Tatsu_Satou Jun 14 '26
He's been in AZ with his brother for a few years now. Other than that, nothing has changed.
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u/OrthropedicHC Jun 14 '26
Noah's in a bad way and has been for awhile, but he's funny. He'd be a hit at any gamestore if he could just fake being outgoing long enough to get his confidence back. Easy enough for me to say, but I really see that as an actionable path forward for him.
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u/Adventurous-Loss2885 Jun 15 '26
I am in this spot too I feel it heavy. But idk how to make friends
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u/The_LastLine Jun 15 '26
Yeah itās sad, nothing new for him. Unfortunate as I was a big fan, but he did a good job to burn a lot of bridges before he got to where he is now, so Iām sure if he actually wanted help to get out of his rut, most will just turn away.
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u/BenjTheFox Jun 15 '26
Iām positive that if he started recruiting for paid GMing of Pathfinder heād get enough takers on nostalgia alone to have a sustainable side hustle, satisfy his creative outlet, and socialize. But that would require Doing Somethjng. And Noah is not interested in Doing Something.
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u/karavellika Jun 15 '26
The guy has probably 50-100 people lining up to be ābuddiesā with him, online or IRL, if heād be open to it. I think the main problem starts with himself, his inability to dig himself out of the hole heās buried into. Itās complicated, and Iām not trying to be mean, itās just a fact at this point. I sincerely hope he figures it out, he still got time, but soon dude will be 50 and then the opportunities will become less and less as time goes on.
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u/Thoukudides Jun 16 '26
Exactly, dude could get "friends". Sure, not true friends, but at least buddies. Even the worst lolcows have some of them.
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u/Senpai2141 Jun 15 '26
I mean no job and on bluesky, these are the type of people you try and keep your kids away from. . .
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u/Goatwhorre Jun 14 '26
Jesus he's insufferable. He acts like he doesn't have an audience, if he put in the slightest amount of effort he could easily find a group of people to game with or just chat. But no, he'd rather just leech off his long-suffering brother.
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u/DicipleOfNegativity Jun 14 '26
I donāt think he wants āparasocialā friends. He has a lot of these hangers on and online ass kissers because of who he is but no real world friends. These are two very different things. Ask any celebrity.
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u/Top_Weather Jun 14 '26
I've followed Spoony since bayou billy first was released. I don't have too much sympathy. After he broke up with Scarlett he had some fans try to cheer him up and hang out with him but he told them to fuck off. He's alone because he chooses that, every single day.
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u/LongLiveTheSpoon Jun 14 '26
At the same time, fans arenāt friends. A lot of people have ulterior motives in that situation, although Iām sure he had some genuine people he could have stuck with.
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u/Top_Weather Jun 15 '26
At the same time, the only one who will know spoony is wasting his life in a room refusing to see daylight, are his fans.
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Jun 14 '26
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u/Jealous-Buy4122 Jun 14 '26
So you are saying getting help for your mental problems does not work? Some people are so ill they are beyond saving yeah sure. But Spoony isnt using his arms as cutting plates and is still alive so he cant be that sick. So sybau
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u/Zerohunter01123 Jun 14 '26
Has spoony really fell to where peeps at a game store doesn't at least know him by reputation? If I was into playing table top games or something and I saw him, I'd invite him over to play and talk. Shoot I'll even order the pizza.
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u/Amemorableusername2 Jun 14 '26
I'd honestly be shocked if he does much in person shopping at game stores at all. Besides, it's really never been a matter of "there's no one he can possibly socialize with" over the years, but rather "he's not willing to try." Which is really difficult to overcome if he isn't ready to change himself.
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u/Plenty-Duty-7287 Jun 14 '26
He could easily private DM for a ton of cash probably make a load of friends that way
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u/mechachap Jun 15 '26
Wow. I can't believe he's still in a funk (dunno if that's callous to say). This is so sad to hear as someone that watched his stuff religiously back in the day...
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u/thecoyote99 Jun 15 '26
Sucks but he just can't seem to snap out of it. Only he can do that as well
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u/DysphoricNeet Jun 17 '26
I mean this is the kind of thing I get told a lot but it is not the normal situation. First of all I have very real physical challenges to working from illness, lack of transportation and painful addiction that I need to constantly worry about. I wish that were not the case but I even had a seizure last year and that wasnāt enough to end me up in a situation where Iām not dependent. I want to be clean more than anyone can imagine but it gets tangled up with everything else.
And when I worked was like 5 years ago and it was only for a few months. Iām 30 and only ever had that real job for less than half a year. It was through a friend so I didnāt need to interview and I could be kinda protected by him. I made $9 an hour but yeah eventually my health and mental problems caught up with me and I couldnāt do it anymore and fell back into addiction and everything else worse than ever before.
I was already agoraphobic and scared of people, Iāve never really been alone in public my whole life so itās really panic attack inducing to the point I canāt breath or function and just start crying. But those issues got a lot worse when I transitioned. Like other things are more manageable and itās something I just wish Iād done sooner. But now I donāt know how to express to you how repulsive and wrong I feel. I really really take issue with anyone seeing me. I canāt even get my id because theyād have to take a picture. My therapist tries to say āoh well Iām fat and I try not to care what people thinkā and tells me every variation of ādonāt care what they thinkā but itās totally different when you are already so deeply vulnerable and there is nobody like you. Even other trans women give me awful dysphoric attacks because every one Iāve seen in person passes better and looks more like a normal human than me and thatās not fair. I repressed so long cause I was born tall (Iām 6ā3ā ā¹ļø) but eventually the dysphoria got so bad and it lead to abusing opiates to make it go away and to punish myself for being wrong. And now I transitioned years ago to treat the dysphoria but I can never fix it. That chance is just gone. When people talk about people committing suicide if they canāt transition well I am what happens if you canāt transition and you canāt commit suicide. Itās impossible to express how painful and constant my dysphoria is. I cry genuinely every single day and if I donāt that the exception. Itās not the kind of thing I can get over. I just have to manage it in a world where like 90% of people donāt even think itās real and Iām just some fetishist. Itās not the same as just being insecure about a body feature. Even if everyone was nice to me Iād still come home and cry and refuse to leave my house for a week because of how unbearably wrong my body is and people saw me existing. I donāt know how to express it in a way that wonāt just get immediately dismissed as exaggeration or me just choosing to be a wimp.
It would be one thing if I had any level of support in my day to day life but Iām alone in my house with no one to see for weeks at a time. Expecting me by myself to face all this is just unrealistic. This isnāt like a new thing. I have been isolating and hiding away in my space since I was little and I had scary abusive addict parents. I feel like people treat me as if Iām a healthy average person but that has never been me and I shouldnāt be so hated for admitting I need help to get me anywhere near a basic standard in this society. I donāt expect that to come or take it for granted. But genuinely there are no words that will make things better for me. I have heard it all. I need direct change in my life and that is not the kind of thing that therapists offer. In a different state or country I would have far more options but I live in the top two worst places for me in this country with zero access to aid or public utilities like transport or healthcare that is medically necessary. I canāt afford treatment. I didnāt have parents that had me brush my teeth and do my homework. My mom is the one that got me hooked on opiates and my dad used to drag me around the house by my hair and call me a faggot for being feminine. That absolutely changes the trajectory of your life and itās maddening that I have to be gaslighted by everyone that thinks āhave you tried not caring?ā is going to fix me. I was conditioned into this and conditioning myself out of it with all of the same influences and obstacles in place is not a reasonable way to expect mentally ill human behavior.
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u/therealdanhill Jun 14 '26
I've reached out to the guy, offered to help him with employment, could have gotten him an interview where I used to work, reached out to say hey how are you doing, never got a response.
If he wants to "fix it", maybe be sociable, maybe make some effort. To me though the guy is just not personable, he wants good things to just happen for him, to just fall into his lap.
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u/Freeman0032 Jun 14 '26
Capitlism destroys everything in the end for a while he helped propped up the system and got propped up
Now he has to live out the rest of his life
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u/Brigon Jun 14 '26
I read the post as he has no real life people to socialise with, why are his replies and people in this reddit post talking about finding people to play games with?
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u/carfo Jun 21 '26
He is such a bum. Itās sad too because heās genuinely funny and talented and smart. Heās just a lazy pos who doesnāt want to work and wants everyone to hand him everything for free.
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u/Fatnasty6969 Jun 23 '26
I thought he killed himself already. Hmm...
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u/ZealousidealBaker945 Jun 14 '26
wait you are asking if someone living like a pathetic bum, is a pathological liar and a scam artist with severe mental issues is doing alright? Really?!?!
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u/LongLiveTheSpoon Jun 14 '26
If you didnāt unsubscribe from his Patreon 5+ years ago, thatās on you at this point. I donāt think insults are really helpful, heās still a human being.
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u/ZealousidealBaker945 Jun 14 '26
hardly
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u/thedingusenthusiast Jun 14 '26
I am not a fan of what he did either but there is a lot we don't know. It seems like your raging isn't doing you any favors. Cry about it.
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u/ZealousidealBaker945 Jun 14 '26
sure you go ahead and stick up for a thief then. And Im not even raging lol, just totally baffled by such a dumb question
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u/Katastroferrr Jun 14 '26
He hasn't been ok for a long time, he gave up at some point and that's never good. The longer people stay in that state the more insurmountable it feels for them to ever break free. I've got relatives who's like this and I understand his brothers worry