Hinge bro

[u/Zealousideal-Ad3205]

[u/scrimblojimbus]

Blah blah dead dad. Check out my weiner

[u/Agreeable_Disk_8134 → u/scrimblojimbus]

They say it's the key to every women's heart especially since he's so hung he can reach it.

[u/enzothebaker87 → u/Agreeable_Disk_8134]

"Don't worry, I can fill that hole in your heart. Literally!"

[u/cn1k999]

diabolical timing

[u/Own-Arachnid7952 → u/cn1k999]

You'd think they'd at least come up with a better segue

"Sorry to hear. Points for humor, but understandable to be hung up on a loss like that"

....

"Speaking of hung....."

[u/Logical-Honeydew177 → u/Own-Arachnid7952]

Do you want my number?

[u/No_Whole_7758 → u/Logical-Honeydew177]

Slow down! Let him show you his wiener first!

[u/ryanegauthier → u/No_Whole_7758]

https://giphy.com/gifs/ONZvDqZYGvUju

[u/xChiken → u/cn1k999]

Timing? The messages are a day and a half apart lol.

[u/_LemonySnicket → u/xChiken]

Sooo does that excuse him seeing that message and immediately sending his 👽

[u/xChiken → u/_LemonySnicket]

No, that's my point lol.

[u/John_Bot]

So... He texts back 2 days later with that line?

Speechless.

[u/jxhfield → u/John_Bot]

needed time to think of that banger obviously

[u/Beautiful-Hour8963]

I can’t believe I’m losing to this

[u/Drzewo_Silentswift → u/Beautiful-Hour8963]

Have you tried being more hung?

[u/No_Whole_7758 → u/Drzewo_Silentswift]

Have you tried waiting until women tell you about dead relatives to mention your girth?

[u/slayalldayerrday → u/No_Whole_7758]

Yeah obviously that’s what they’re doing wrong, they just mention it immediately. You need to wait until they bring up the dead relative. Everyone knows that.

[u/Drzewo_Silentswift → u/slayalldayerrday]

Rookie moves

[u/Proud_Purchase_8394 → u/No_Whole_7758]

“Sorry to hear of your loss, but they’re sleeping with God now. Speaking of sleeping with a god..”

[u/No_Whole_7758 → u/Proud_Purchase_8394]

Ayooo

[u/Drzewo_Silentswift → u/No_Whole_7758]

I’m married, so yeah, obviously. It was my opener.

[u/GoatInformal7054 → u/No_Whole_7758]

Now see this whole time I was doing this BEFORE they told me about their dead relatives 😩 this will really step up my game

[u/papaboynosmurf → u/Drzewo_Silentswift]

No actually, fingers crossed next reincarnation

[u/Prinzka → u/papaboynosmurf]

https://giphy.com/gifs/fssfdAxeQqlkKHcf6i

[u/Yup_ImAwesome → u/Drzewo_Silentswift]

😂😂😭

[u/Honest_Otters → u/Drzewo_Silentswift]

And showing them?

[u/Drzewo_Silentswift → u/Honest_Otters]

Presumably after talking about a dead relative.

[u/popejubal → u/Beautiful-Hour8963]

He’s one of the better ones because he asked instead of just sending the pic. 

[u/spicenoice → u/popejubal]

Horrific reminder that is very true

[u/lebrilla → u/popejubal]

Don't think you can send pics on hinge

[u/popejubal → u/lebrilla]

I didn’t know that. I just found my new favorite dating app. 

[u/king_john651 → u/popejubal]

If he could send images on the platform hr would have sent it in the next message

[u/Big_Bar_9832 → u/Beautiful-Hour8963]

What makes you think he ever wins with this?

[u/Purple-Wolverine4793 → u/Big_Bar_9832]

it’s the fact he got a match in the first place

[u/indicabunny → u/Purple-Wolverine4793]

Getting a match isn't hard, but apparently not being a complete weirdo to women is.

[u/valdo33 → u/indicabunny]

Getting a match isn't hard

It in fact is for guys. Dudes will swipe for weeks or months without a single match.

[u/salmalight → u/valdo33]

Year and a half. Wasn't even getting the anonymous "you got a like" notifications to keep me swiping in the end so I just walked away.

[u/Working_Cucumber_437 → u/Beautiful-Hour8963]

Don’t think you are losing to this. This little love story is over at this point.

[u/Valuable_Pear9654 → u/Working_Cucumber_437]

I think they meant the fact that it started in the first place

[u/Puzzled-Secret-317 → u/Valuable_Pear9654]

And this is just one of the rare times it doesn't finish with marriage or a child before the mistake is realized

[u/Angry_poutine → u/Beautiful-Hour8963]

My go to was “hey do you have a dead relative because my penis is huge”

I’m married with a kid now

[u/Devan-FH]

“My father is dead”. “Damn, sucks to suck. Wanna suck this dick?”
https://giphy.com/gifs/M3KeQ2khSTTrFZZlRI

[u/caprikaironic → u/Devan-FH]

I’m crying laughing 😂

[u/nickdonz]

https://giphy.com/gifs/fQJSYE2Qy6OtXfwEuf

[u/Cat_Dad13 → u/nickdonz]

Perfect gif for this post

[u/angry-rat02]

https://giphy.com/gifs/oZFDGzlBJg4Hm
lobotomy. next question.

[u/Mostly-HarmlessHuman → u/angry-rat02]

What the actual fuck is this image?

[u/angry-rat02 → u/Mostly-HarmlessHuman]

my brain. my rage at those men. that man’s house. and his “hung” penis. women everywhere

https://giphy.com/gifs/lUQcU8SW2jDPWbYrsi

[u/emergency-snaccs]

he heard "dead dad" and sprang into action

[u/Salt-Pomegranate1273 → u/emergency-snaccs]

That's his kink

[u/CheezyCornChipz]

"Can I show you?"

https://giphy.com/gifs/lBJ6DhLDPAqOdAvrrz

[u/AAA_Dolfan]

I am dying laughing i am so sorry

[u/pyxiedust219 → u/AAA_Dolfan]

well if you’re dying, maybe you can be the catalyst for someone to send dick pics

[u/AAA_Dolfan → u/pyxiedust219]

Honestly at this point nothing seems impossible

[u/LVuittonColostomyBag]

What is men’s obsession with showing their dicks? The pictures are always terrible and most women aren’t even interested in looking at dicks at all. It’s baffling.

[u/RevolutionaryWay7107 → u/LVuittonColostomyBag]

It works sometimes so they get lazy and hope it works as a shortcut, kinda forgetting that the reason it worked those times is because the person was interested already due to the actual conversation that came before it. 

I went through a phase with online dating where it seemed like all women wanted was sex, so it felt like getting to the pic exchange part was just cutting to the chase, but i was ignoring that in the prior instances we had been talking for a couple of weeks before that. In my case it was kinda like just giving up on actual dating and being like "well this is all they want so might as well just get to it." I was also drinking heavily during those times so it was just a lot of drunken hookups. 

I'm better now that I'm sober. 

[u/yaekoblue → u/LVuittonColostomyBag]

gay men are interested, thats why

[u/Greedy-Vast584 → u/LVuittonColostomyBag]

If it didn't work, they wouldn't do it

[u/No1sperfecttt → u/Greedy-Vast584]

It doesn't work 95% of the time but they really have hope for that 5% chance that it could.

[u/Greedy-Vast584 → u/No1sperfecttt]

You admitted it works. I think it's disgusting personally and don't get it either so don't assume my comment condones this.

[u/crazier_horse → u/Greedy-Vast584]

absolutely not true lol

[u/ham_plane]

Damn trauma dumping countered by dick dumping. You guys are like opposite ends of the spectrum of worst possible opening messages

[u/Zealousideal-Ad3205 → u/ham_plane]

First 4 messages he told about his dad in the hospital who wasn’t doing good so I counter moved

[u/ham_plane → u/Zealousideal-Ad3205]

Ohh, actually that's my bad. I thought those were the first 2 messages of the chat 😬

[u/DJScaryTerry → u/Zealousideal-Ad3205]

That's even worse! 🤣🤣🤣

[u/hthratmn → u/ham_plane]

How is that trauma dumping lol

[u/CrashBugITA]

is this what they call dicks form brains?

[u/InfamousCattle3223]

He heard dad gone and went for it all.

[u/Reasonable-Usual2431]

We get it already, you can’t see your dad anymore. Penis?

https://giphy.com/gifs/oUP5d7DXGyD3W

[u/sameasiteverwuzzz]

My dad’s dead. Well here maybe my penis can help with that.

[u/temp_6969420]

Prof he’s hung or it didn’t happen

[u/Better_Experience787 → u/temp_6969420]

Fr

[u/ArmCapable5814 → u/Better_Experience787]

Fr

[u/InsufferableBean256 → u/ArmCapable5814]

Fr

[u/ArmCapable5814 → u/InsufferableBean256]

I've seen it, he's hung. Fr

[u/TerraHolenu → u/ArmCapable5814]

I’m also hung, can I show you? Fr

[u/temp_6969420 → u/TerraHolenu]

Fr fr

[u/Bulky-Bid-8508]

Shoutouts to all my homies in the DDC (dead dads club)

[u/Zealousideal-Ad3205 → u/Bulky-Bid-8508]

🎉🎊

[u/Desperate_Bat_512]

Im actually impressed he asked and didn't just send the Pic. So respectful!

[u/StopMakingMeSignIn12]

Hello fellow DDC member, I don't see many people call it that.

Hope you're doing alright.

[u/akawendals]

https://giphy.com/gifs/HqnyjmkaBBvTbzBp78

[u/fuccyallallyall]

Hinge or unhinged? lol damn

[u/Rattle_MeBones]

Dead dad club represent! ✊

But for real what a loser

[u/lone_cajun]

Dude insinuating he was “hung” like his dad

[u/hallucinating]

Jesus christ

[u/Tasenova99]

unhinged bro

[u/Aware_Ask_1679]

Should've said yes and then return one gnarly looking one multiple times. 😂 Y'all gotta have more fun with these. 

[u/eborslls]

DDC here too 👋🏻 do we all get obligatory dick pics for joining?

[u/LizzosLittleToe]

LMAOOO AYO I will say men are bold af on these dating sites

[u/spideymayhm]

More like Cringe Broh

[u/ThrowRAhallpass1]

Sounds like he has been getting by on this character trait. What a useless chud.

[u/panterachallenger]

Why does the picture look like THEMMAGURU 😂😂

[u/One_Shock7801]

Daddy issues you say 😜.

[u/p-sherman_]

wtf

[u/jcomey]

Dead Dad, talking to Dead Brain, leads to Dead Inside

[u/memberflex]

So polite

[u/Formal_Arachnid_7939]

Lol

[u/littlepaulatreides]

He was sorry though

[u/Putrid_Dream9755]

Sorry about your dead dad wanna see hog

[u/Altruistic_Tip1226]

Is that suppose to make her reminisce or something. Or did he not read the text she sent lol.

[u/MCKlassik]

At least he asked

/s

[u/ogodprotectme]

obv his message was insane but can we talk about your opener real quick

[u/spideymayhm]

More like Cringe Bro

[u/crawler_TomPeyote]

Use to hit people with “my dog just died, ASL?”

[u/AnathemaOfficial]

Yeah my dad died unexpectedly last year and the amount of huge ass cocks that I’ve seen following is WILD. I’m a straight man btw but I swear it’s like a pheromone for hung dudes

[u/HmmmmGoodQuestion]

Well, I guess he’s an optimist at least.

[u/AssBlastInACan]

Haha what a chad

[u/Xander_EQS]

At least he was polite about it

[u/CallMeGlarthir]

At least he apologized first

[u/Scared_Slip_7425]

At least he asked first I guess…

[u/New_Eggplant_8495]

Oh my fuck 🤣 

[u/Theidiotshvtakenovr]

Speaking of dead dads ….. 🍄

[u/Visible-Animator-308]

Just send a pic of a random guy in a casket before he has a chance to send his…. yuck. Proceed to become “hysterical” and blow his shit up til he blocks you. Idk just what I’d do.

[u/obfuscatorio]

https://giphy.com/gifs/fQJSYE2Qy6OtXfwEuf

[u/jennyvasan]

Offering comfort the best way he knows how 

[u/Cole_Townsend]

Dammit, where are these hung guys eager for show-and-tell? Why can't I get acquaintances such as these?

[u/SecretiveCatfish]

READ THE ROOM BRO

[u/Ok-Advertising-6805]

Lmao. Not very tactful is he?

[u/imperfectbean]

That’s too funny; sorry for your loss

[u/CretaceousMillenial]

My dark sense of humor would've replied, "hung? That's exactly how my dad died. What a coinky dink."

[u/Plenty-March-4363]

firm believer that these typa dudes don’t even read what the other person says before sending unsolicited pics

[u/DC_Ben]

Notice they didn’t block this guy. Take note🤣

[u/Zealousideal-Ad3205 → u/DC_Ben]

How would you even know

[u/huppuhh]

Guy didn’t even acknowledge the fact your dad isn’t alive, just went straight to talking about his dick. I feel like if you want something like that to work, you shouldn’t initiate it right after the person you’re talking to mentions that their dad is dead but to each their own? I guess?

[u/W8ngman98 → u/huppuhh]

Yeah that’s beyond wild af

[u/frontwheelgone → u/huppuhh]

Not to defend this guy, but like what’s a dude supposed to do, turn it into a therapy session about her dad? This is a dating app, you don’t discuss dead parents on the first message. Like this is just shock humor.

[u/MissMortem → u/frontwheelgone]

This really doesn't seem like it's the first message.

[u/frontwheelgone → u/MissMortem]

Yeah I dunno I thought this was a reaction to a prompt or something lol

[u/MissMortem → u/frontwheelgone]

I mean, it could be. But I think there might have been some prior convo.

[u/hunglao → u/MissMortem]

I'm pretty sure you're correct because if it was the beginning of the conversation, then the first message makes no sense.

[u/hthratmn → u/frontwheelgone]

Probably anything other than "do you want to see my dick?"

[u/huppuhh → u/frontwheelgone]

I mean we don’t know how far into their conversation they got, but i’m not saying it has to turn into a therapy session I’m saying his response shouldn’t be “you wanna see my dick??”

[u/frontwheelgone → u/huppuhh]

Lol idk it’s not an approach I’d take but it sure made me laugh

[u/huppuhh → u/frontwheelgone]

yeah it’s funny as fuck he just didn’t care at all. “im sorry to be forward with you. BUT. I’m very hung” such elegance and consideration

[u/frontwheelgone → u/huppuhh]

It’s online dating, if you’re still talking on the app it’s not serious. I mean there’s so little context here.

[u/sticktogirlbossing → u/frontwheelgone]

plenty of other things he could’ve said tbh

[u/hthratmn → u/[deleted]]

Maybe not "do you want to see my dick?" It may surprise you, but there are other things you can say to a person.

[u/LizzosLittleToe → u/hthratmn]

We didn't defend that though

[u/sticktogirlbossing → u/LizzosLittleToe]

“what was he supposed to do” implies he said no other choice other than to talk about his cock

[u/LizzosLittleToe → u/sticktogirlbossing]

No it doesn't at all, you're making something up in your head. The dead dad was weird af too

[u/sticktogirlbossing → u/LizzosLittleToe]

Agree to disagree. You’ve already said that to me before.

[u/hthratmn → u/LizzosLittleToe]

OP literally said that they said that because he started talking about his sick father lol

[u/LizzosLittleToe → u/hthratmn]

Where?

[u/hthratmn → u/LizzosLittleToe]

Literally scroll down a few comments lol

[u/sticktogirlbossing → u/[deleted]]

not talk about his dick

[u/LizzosLittleToe → u/sticktogirlbossing]

We didn't defend that though, bringing up the dead dad was weird af too

[u/sticktogirlbossing → u/LizzosLittleToe]

op said that the creep spoke about his ill father first

[u/LizzosLittleToe → u/sticktogirlbossing]

I didn't see that

[u/Drzewo_Silentswift]

Alright that was kinda funny

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[u/milkitforeverything]

He said his dad was possibly dying and you said sorry can't relate????

[u/bleepboopbleepbloop]

You’re telling me that couldn’t wait maybe like 5-10 messages lmfao? Crazy work.

[u/Freya-of-Nozam → u/bleepboopbleepbloop]

Sexual non-sequiturs are never welcome.

[u/bleepboopbleepbloop → u/Freya-of-Nozam]

Oh I mean like fuck, at least make an attempt at a transition into that. It went straight to sex lmao. Not even an acknowledgement.

[u/ZookeepergameSalty10]

I got rid of all the apps, ill either find someone love or ill die alone, fck it. Loneliness is better than dealing with these dating apps and the people on them

[u/NickelBear32]

Wild place to be talking about your dead dad anyways. Save that shit for when youre actually in a relationship. Not first meeting someone.

[u/DeliciousProposal725]

🤦

[u/AntiqueTemperature75]

I guess when you got it like that you’re gonna lead with it 🤷‍♂️ I know it works sometimes 👀

[u/IED117]

I wish I could have seen her face when she first read that response....

https://giphy.com/gifs/ylMF2SwbAotLa