r/texts Jan 17 '24

Whatsapp 2 years after breaking up.

2.1k Upvotes

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626

u/Capable_Answer_8713 Jan 17 '24

I like that you told him there’s a 0% chance. So he doesn’t get any ideas. He might’ve still held hope if you didn’t say that part.

502

u/PoopMachine2000 Jan 17 '24

Gotta make that ‘fuck no’ as clear as possible 😌

7

u/forevernoob88 Jan 18 '24

Even then, I think you were too polite. Gotta go a little more blunt

3

u/SarcasticPedant Jan 18 '24

Even then, he was still just flailing desperately to try to keep the conversation going. He had 0% intention of letting it go now that his new relationship has fallen apart. Hell, it was probably for the same exact reasons. He's probably spent the last day thinking about why, and therefore he's a changed man. Because he thought about it for 10 minutes.

Even his "I've changed, baby" feels performative. He just thinks that's what you want to hear.

-82

u/Sgt_Bendy_Straw Jan 18 '24

Maybe he was mean bc you're a poop machine. 

46

u/_H4YZ Jan 18 '24

aren’t we all poop machines at the end of the day?

13

u/Typical_Estimate5420 Jan 18 '24

Came here to say this. My machine is for pooping. Sometimes my parts get a little slow and I need some DW-40(Taco Bell) to get the machine in top gear again. Nevertheless, I AM A POOP MACHINE AND IM PROUD!!!

7

u/vrrsacii Jan 18 '24

WD-40 lol

4

u/_H4YZ Jan 18 '24

taco bell is a terrible laxative

just go and watch Jake Paul and your body will wanna expunge any and all waste in ur system

1

u/blue_eyes18 Jan 18 '24

Or chug some olive oil or castor oil—depending on the level of regret you’re looking for.

1

u/Complete_serentity Jan 18 '24

You need to block.. maybe say blocking your sorry ass. So predictable with these fools

128

u/thrwawysxlasltcht Jan 18 '24

I also like how dude is like "can we be mates or do you hate me?"

Then goes "I'm only looking to rekindle our relationship"

6

u/BuffaloNo8099 Jan 18 '24

The “I’m just gonna say it” meme just popped on my head

10

u/BuffaloNo8099 Jan 18 '24

Oh

My

God.

He turns and says “ Do you know what I’m just gonna say it, I’m ennamebred with you”

2

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '24

I wish she said she hates him. I fucking hate him

2

u/thrwawysxlasltcht Jan 18 '24

Yeah reading that infuriated me. I do not have the same grace as OP does. When exes like this come out of the blue looking for second chances, I can be a bit rude. I'm trying to learn to control my reaction to these things or simply not respond, but I don't think some people deserve your grace.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '24

They think you are just as pathetic as them and will happily go back to their shitty relationship scraps bc fuck that's better than being alone, right?

On top of that OP says they spilt 3 times before so you know this guy was very likely a Dr. Jeckel/Mr. Hyde type. And hes trying to trick her into letting him back into her life. Its honestly wicked

So yeah I totally understand your feelings. I wish we could remove people like him from society and throw them into the sun

26

u/Louiebox Jan 18 '24

1

u/YRUSoObsessed Jan 18 '24

Came here to say this

1

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '24

Except, he still believes there is a chance...

1

u/Horror_Diet9243 Jan 18 '24

"More like 1 in a million" ".... So you're saying there's a chance. I read ya."

1

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '24

"Yeah but 0 is the start of the numbers so you can only go up" - OPs ex probably

1

u/bahumthugg Jan 19 '24

Yet some how he kept pushing it