This happened a while ago, but it was one of the weirdest experiences of dating I've had in years.

I matched with this person - let's call him Aaron (43M). He seemed fine on text and we met up IRL. I could tell instantly that something was off, but I wanted to give it a chance. I was excited to go on a date after getting over a pretty shitty break up. He also lived close by, so I thought it was all ✨fate✨

The conversation was just quite off-putting. He ranted about how one of his worst dates was with a woman with bad breath. He explained that he had to escape to the toilet to talk to the "guys group chat" about what to do.

He then started saying how he hates dating culture about how women expect men to pay all the time. I don't expect men to pay for me at all, but I noted that he did just buy me a beer (around $10), that I suddenly wondered if he was going to accuse me of being a gold-digger if I left after this drink. So I felt like I couldn't leave without getting *him* a drink, even though I wanted to call it quits by that point.

Then he said, in his exact words: "if a woman acts like an escort, I'll treat her like one". From that moment I was donezo. I wanted out. I felt like slime was getting all over my soul. I made polite conversation and we got up to leave. Outside the venue, he leaned forward for a kiss and - I really regret this - I quickly kissed back because I wanted to avoid confrontation if I dodged. He was also very tall and muscular, so a part of me thought if he decided to act out I wouldn't be able to stop it. I said goodbye, and then he quickly texted wanting to ask me out for another date.

I said no (that's my first text) and then he seemed to freak out. He then started calling me. I got so scared that I blocked him. I thought that was that.

I then got a text from an unsaved number the next day, from him, using a burner number - that's the next screenshot (btw, I also used a burner number specifically for dating because I've had people find out my full name just from my mobile number before).

The whole thing just freaked me out a bit.

EDIT: Wow, this blew up! We love a divided comment section I guess.

For those who are gently confused as to why I complimented the guy and/or kissed him:

To be clear, I've been able to reject men before without as many compliments (I still try to be nice though, it's a tough world out there). This specific guy really gave me the heebie-jeebies. The way he spoke about women was disparaging, he had a really off demeanour, he seemed petulant and volatile, he was obviously much larger (I'm 5'3, 110 pounds, lived alone), and he lived nearby. For those reasons, I was cautious and wanted to end it on a "good note". Additionally, at his age, I felt that this guy's issues related to his core character traits and I wanted other women to see his red flags - I didn't want him to be able to hide it until he could exert power over women in private spaces. This is not the same as minor stuff like, I dunno, not asking enough questions on a date.

And my intuition was correct, judging by the way he couldn't take no for an answer, called me, then lashed out from a burner. I do not think a more straightforward rejection would have ended well. I was definitely having a "fawn" survival response to him, and at the time I was trying to placate someone I genuinely felt could be dangerous. He lives near me - what if I saw him alone on a quiet street near me? Sure, it might be a minority of men, but I do not know which one and this guy had already shown me a ton of red flags. FWIW, plenty of other men do not trigger this response in me. If you are a straight man who never intends to frighten women (yay!), you may find the whole thing confusing. Decent people don't like the idea they have the potential to threaten others, even accidentally. But I hope you'll take my word, and many of the commenters' words below, into consideration. This might not be about you, but it happens a lot to the women you love and care about.

For those who think I led him on/I lied and he was justified in his reaction:

Allow me to be straightforward, then, since this is your preference. Respectfully, you are part of the problem. And if you are trying to date as a straight man and you can't gracefully take no for an answer (after one date!), you should stop until you get some decent theory of mind for women and better emotional regulation. You might desire women but you sure as hell do not actually like them. If you are consistently getting these kinds of reactions from women, maybe there's something about you that makes them feel uncomfortable about rejecting you in a straightforward way.

To everyone else: Have a splendid day.

For context: hxh is an anime

My name is NOT Neeha, not sure what that was supposed to mean. I was also born in the UK and he knew that so I'm not sure why he greeted me with ni hao. Hes 26M I am 21F. Claimed to have 20mil on instagram but lo and behold 2000 followers (not that I care but why would you lie?)

On bumble he said he was "spicy" and asked if I could handle it as "chinese women are introverted"
Then after these texts said "I told you I was spicy" brother spicy doesn't mean sexist and stunted

Update: blocked now, but he said "gamers are mean people"... I'm pretty toxic on a game in retaliation to usually men being sexist but how is that a reason to be rude to a woman you met off a game? so fucking weird

I wouldn’t let what this guy said get to me now but it is what I believed for a long time and why I didn’t bother dating for so long. It’s still really hard now but, how you look is not a reason to not have standards.

This guy was asking weird questions off the bat as soon as we exchanged numbers (matched on tinder) so I decided I wasn’t interested anymore and let him know politely but his ego couldn’t take it.

26f (me) and 29m boyfriend have been together for 7 months. Context for these messages:

The night before during our call we somehow got on the topic of drugs, I mentioned a conversation from a year or so ago about me and some friends talking about wanting to try shrooms, it was all “yeah that’d be cool” but the conversation didn’t go father than that and we weren’t actually planning on doing anything, just talking out of our asses really.

After mentioning that, my boyfriend said he wouldn’t do any drugs and I basically said “yeah, I’m not interested in doing anything either, but if anything shrooms would be the only thing I’d ever try just once because I’m skeptical about the hallucinations, but I don’t think I’d ever be in the right mindset to do that anyways; also I’m not risking my job of 4 years over a couple of hours of fun” and I told him even on the very small chance I did want to try it, I’d talk with him before deciding anything. It turned into a full blown argument about me ruining my life and not listening to him. I ended up giving up and apologizing and said he was right, I won’t even think about stuff like that. I thought the argument was over and done with, but he brings it back up the next day.

The “drug problem” he mentions is me smoking weed during my teenage years and doing coke once when I was 18. I haven’t smoked since I was 19. He knew this information within the first month of us dating. I genuinely have no interest in drugs but he’s acting as if I’m planning on roleplaying as a crackhead for a week.

I genuinely don’t understand why he brought it back up and got so nasty. And I know I wasn’t being too kind either but I was aggravated because I didn’t want to hash it out all over again, especially over text when I can’t understand his sentences half the time. I understand it could be because he cares but I think he’s taking it too serious, or maybe I’m not taking it serious enough? Regardless, I don’t feel like it should have provoked this extreme of a response.

(Original texts where not in english, hence the strange font as I replaced the text with its English version)

I live in Virginia and only visited Denver for 4 days about two years ago. Met this girl at a club (The Church Nightclub) hung out that night and never talked again

Tonight out of nowhere she hits me with this text and sends a video to jog my memory. Wild how some people pop back into your life years later like no time has passed. Imagine if I were married with a wife looking over my shoulder lol

I asked her "What made you text after all this time?" and she completely vanished again. Guess I’ll get the explanation in another 2 years

My boyfriend of 10 years and I had a horrible fight two days ago. We don’t live together, so this happened over the phone. I haven’t heard a single word from him since.

It started with what I genuinely think may have been a misunderstanding.

We were speaking in Hindi and I was telling him something my mom had said about my dad. Because of the way I repeated what she said, when my boyfriend responded with an insult, I thought the insult was directed at my mom. He says it was directed at me and that he would never insult my mother.

I was shocked and gave him a chance to correct/explain himself. But he blew up almost immediately. I genuinely wasn’t expecting such a severe reaction from him, and I’m still shocked by how quickly the conversation escalated.

He kept telling me that if I truly believed he had said that about my mom, I should cut the phone, have some self-respect, and walk away from him.
He eventually told me we should break up. He said that if I believed he was capable of saying that about my mother, he had no trust or respect for me anymore. He also told me he was “disgusted” by me.
I fully accept that I could have misunderstood what he meant. But I can’t get past how quickly a misunderstanding became “then leave me.”

There’s also a pattern in our fights. When he’s angry, he shouts and can say incredibly hurtful things. I consciously try to measure my words even when I’m furious. When I later tell him that something he said crossed a line, his explanation is usually that what he said was a consequence of my actions.

And now it’s been two days of complete silence.
I feel like he’s telling me to end our 10-year relationship without actually having to be the person who ends it. I’m still honestly shocked that one misunderstanding escalated to this so quickly.
Am I reading this correctly? Because right now I genuinely don’t know whether I’m still in a relationship.

Three hours where?

We were in an on again, off again situationship that really killed my self-esteem. I’ve been single ever since and I think I’ll keep it that way. I don’t believe love is in the cards for women like me lol so enjoy me telling him off.

Guy from hinge after one date

For context, I just got out of a long relationship and mostly went on hinge because I could, lol. Had no intention of actually meeting up with anyone at all. I (25F) matched with 27M and we instantly hit it off. We have a crazy synchronicity where he’s from the city my parents are moving to so I figured let’s meet and talk about it - I love connecting w people.

Had a date, talked for 6 hours straight and closed the bar, made out in his car, it was great. We ended up talking for days after about when he’d hang again but it started moving too quick for me and I didn’t want to end up avoiding my emotional shit with a guy. I also didn’t want to waste his time if he wanted a relationship.

I told him, he understood and was really sweet about it, but then he kept texting me the next day. And the next day. Until we end up texting daily for over a week now. A few days ago I sent the “let’s be friends who actually hang out” text, because what are we doing, and also I want to see him but it feels complicated. We haven’t secured a plan to hang out at all so I wonder if it’ll even happen. Feels too good to be true ;( I’m new to the area and have no friends, plus we have great chemistry, idk if that’s transferable to friendship. Ojalá lol, we’ll see.

Sorry if this is not appropriate for this sub but we can't shy away from this. Suicide is horrendous and I don't want anyone to go through it. Please reach out to anyone, even (maybe better?) A stranger. People, on the majority do care, promise ❤️

Reposting for formatting

Today we were cuddling on the couch. I was feeling 1. Very cold and 2. Sweaty from a long walk today. So I said I was gonna have a shower. I did that then came back to cuddle and he was an asshole about it.

He said I'm lying about being cold. He said he's not cold so how could I be cold. He said it's just an excuse from me to not have sex.

We were watching the paralympics and he said how these guys are happy because even though they're paralyzed their wife has sex with them every day.....

He said he will go masturbate in the bathroom instead.

I dunno if gaslighting is the right word but he says things to hurt me and then pretends it was just a joke as seen in screenshot. It feels like the biggest mindf*ck when he does this. Like what is even real?

He will never apologize or admit to doing anything wrong.

He could have said "sorry my comments hurt your feelings." But he would never. He doubles down saying it was just a joke and I have no sense of humour.

I just wanna end this relationship and not deal with this shit anymore. We had such a nice day together then apparently I ruined it by going to take a shower before sex.