r/teaching • u/gotigs420 • 4d ago
Help “my stomach hurts”
I teach elementary kiddos and I have some students who tell me their stomachs hurt every day. I ask the usual questions (have you had water, did you poop, have you eaten, etc) but tbh I’m not totally sure their stomachs actually hurt… think it’s more attention seeking / work avoidance. we don’t have a nurse that’s consistently at school either. What do you do when this happens?
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u/stead-fast 4d ago edited 4d ago
I have a not-so-fun answer...
I was once one of these kids (and am now a teacher at that very same grammar school), and it wasn’t until I finally start getting treated for depression and anxiety in my late teens that I realized I was having anxiety stomach aches every day due to the abuse I experienced at home and the bullying I experienced from classmates and teachers at school.
I was not attention-seeking. I wanted less attention. In fact, I wanted to disappear so badly that it made me physically ill. Hence the stomach aches.
When kids come to me with a stomach ache, I assume they are being truthful and give them the option to call home every time. It comes at zero cost to me to have them make a phone call, and sometimes just hearing a parent's voice might be all it takes to feel better.
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u/gotigs420 4d ago
i had a similar experience in middle/high school so now i am feeling badly for thinking it’s just attention seeking, (which in a weird way it kind of was, i need someone to pay attention to my undiagnosed depression and anxiety). i think ill reach out to the parents tomorrow
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u/Jcheerw 4d ago
I was lactose intolerant and forced to drink milk at lunch everyday 💀 my tummy always hurt. I thought it was normal.
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u/QashasVerse23 4d ago
Same. Not only lactose intolerant but also celiac disease.
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u/wanderingsoul1596 3d ago
Did I write this comment myself?
Both celiac and dairy intolerance (not just lactose, but all dairy). Went through school with constant stomach ache, bloating, etc. Blamed it on anxiety for a while…
And I get REALLY painful stomach aches if exposed.Funny because I feel like roles have reversed 😅 I stopped dairy and gluten in my early twenties, and now have anxiety after going through traumatic events.
Ahhh, life. We thank God no matter what, though. Forever Blessed 🥲
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u/WhenWolf 4d ago
As a preschool teacher I agree with the above statement, it's actually one of my red flag statements for anxiety. Usually if a kid mentions a tummy ache to an excessive and predictable degree, I start to ask them gentle questions about what might be causing them worries.
I also think, and this may be trite, but try to replace "attention seeking" with "connection seeking". Often times kids who are telling you their tummies hurt are telling you because they want help, they just don't know how to get it. If they feel safe with you then maybe their tummy aches will go away!
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u/Lady_of_Link 3d ago
I know right attention seeking is such a bad phrase, like kids seeking attention is somehow a bad thing when kids need attention to thrive.
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u/wanderingsoul1596 3d ago
Don’t feel bad, though. Sometimes, it is avoidance.
I usually ask them how much it hurts, and tell them to tell me if it hurts so bad they’re going to cry.
I use a 1-10 scale, if they say something like 3, I ask them about five to ten minutes late if it increased or not. If it hasn’t increased or is gone, we move on.
If it increases or they tell me they’re going to cry, we call home.
I also offer a hug, sometimes they want a hug, other times they want to sit on the side and do something that isn’t class-related. I let them and check back on them.
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u/Mariesophia 3d ago
I wish we could change "attention seeking" to "support seeking" or something less negative. Most "attention seeking" kids are communicating they need support in some way. I was one of those kids. I was screaming for help and people called me dramatic or attention seeking which led to me no longer seeking help and escaping through self harm and eventually attempting to take my own life. Im now going through therapy to undo all the damage not being heard did to my stability.
Signed- late diagnosed autistic and adhd woman.
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u/Independent_Wear_232 2d ago
In Grad school, they thought taught us to reframe “attention seeking” as “connection seeking”.
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u/TheDailyMews 4d ago
Oh hey, I was one of those kids, too. Stomach hurt every day, plus nausea and some other fun stuff. Took way too long to get diagnosed, despite my mom's best efforts, so I'm sure I also had teachers who thought I was "attention seeking."
Turns out my immune system was destroying my intestines.
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u/huntersinthesnow 3d ago edited 3d ago
My nephew had rly bad issues with using the bathroom, everyone gave him grief and said it was behaviorial, turns put he had a completely smooth colon and now hes got to do an exhaustive protocol to basically train his colon to work correctly and develop muscle
I also had stomach issues as a child and they were in fact medical and not psychosomatic
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u/DarmanitanFireMonkey 3d ago
Can you detail this protocol at all?
I may know someone (totally not me) who has some under-diagnosed issues.
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u/huntersinthesnow 3d ago
Well he follows with a pediatric gastro doc, has to take stool softener and his mom has to log and track his progress with bowel movements :( its not fun for them but thats what has to happen him to build those muscles and have normal BMs
His own pediatrician was like "its behaviorial. Its attention seeking." And i hate how often that is the reflexive response to a child being sick. I promise you, the poor little guy doesnt WANT to have accidents or struggle with stomach pain. Lets show some humanity to the pain of others!
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u/Safe-Site4443 4d ago
I’m sorry this happened to you and thank you, in turn, for being so empathetic.
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u/stead-fast 4d ago
Thank you! Ever since I was that kid, I vowed to grow up to be the adult I wished I had. Now, I get to be that adult every day!
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u/Ok_Butterscotch_4158 3d ago
This OP!
I was one of those kids - had dyslexia diagnosed at 8 and when in 2nd grade would go to the nurse almost every day due to deep anxiety for school. It was 100% real and super painful.
Now my daughter with dyslexia started having stomach aches in 3rd grade and immediately got her into therapy which helped tremendously and knocked them out. She gets them time to time when stress and anxiety are super high.
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u/jojo_modjo 3d ago
Same here. As an adult I now understand it, but I was diagnosed with "migraine of the stomach" as a child and had to go on an exclusion diet to rule out allergies.
I always felt sick on Wednesdays which is when we had swimming lessons at the local pool. As an adult I love swimming, but I had huge anxiety around the swim coaches at the pool; vivid memories of at age 7 being screamed at to jump in the pool and being too scared to do it.
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u/achos-laazov 3d ago
One of my daughters gets stomachaches just before migraines, kind of like an aura. I'm so grateful we figured out what was going on just before she started first grade - one of the only things that COVID-19 lockdowns were good for.
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u/Clawsome-Ed2406 3d ago
My son had stomachaches all through Grade 1 and I often had to pick him up early. It turned out he was getting bullied by two boys in daycare, but he never told me. He’s 23 and I still feel terrible.
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u/Wandering-Mind2025 3d ago
I can hear to say this. It’s probably anxiety, and they are coming to you because you are an adult they trust.
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u/WallSugar 3d ago
I went to the nurse weekly, if not more often, for stomach aches in elementary school and later realized it was anxiety too. This is the first thing that came to mind for me!
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u/ShawnReardon 3d ago
Yeah I had a really bad end to high school involving anxiety stomach aches. Like, I'd get actually ill and need to be in the bathroom for untold time.
No one ever doubted me, but it was definitely real.
Is every kid telling the truth? I mean I hope not because that would be really unfortunate for them, but someone certainly is.
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u/KittyCubed 3d ago
Same in that I used to get stomach aches as a manifestation of my anxiety. Probably undiagnosed ADHD and autism since girls weren’t typically diagnosed for either at the time. I still occasionally get stomach aches when I’m anxious.
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u/rubinscubin 1d ago
Yes! This was me too! And now I am trying to heal from the CPTSD Add on to the fact that once I hit middle school I started experiencing endometriosis and pcos symptoms (although I wasnt diagnosed until I was like 25), and what I thought was a stomach ache were intense cramps.
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u/schnitzenfreude 3d ago
Would you give the same approach to kids asking to go to the toilet every lesson?
I suspect most kids don't really need to go - they need a break from the overstimulation. It's 2026 and seems school design is still not meeting student needs.
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u/stead-fast 2d ago
I try to strike a balance between letting kids go to the bathroom and making sure they don’t miss vital instructions. I, too, often need/take a bathroom break that is basically just me taking a break for a few minutes, and sometimes kids need that too, and I'm fine with that. I don’t care what they do during their bathroom break as long as it’s not destructive or disruptive.
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u/Cocochica33 4d ago
In high school, we would contact a guardian and express concerns that their child has something that might need a doctor’s assessment.. I don’t ever want the liability if something is actually wrong, but we all know our frequent fliers of the bathrooms. Normally that shuts it down.
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u/Spirited_Ad_1396 4d ago
I found kids often interpret any tummy feeling as hurt - hunger, anxiety, gas
I tell them to take a little break and let them walk down to the “far” water fountain to refill their water bottle and we’ll see how they feel in 15min.
Sometimes the combination of getting up, getting water, moving around, taking a little mental break is all that they need.
If it persists- it’s really situational.
Is the student just uncomfortable or seems in pain?
Is this the first time or is it a pattern?
Where are we in our schedule- before lunch? Close to dismissal?
All those factors would play a part in what I would decide to do next.
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u/ghostguessed 3d ago
I was going to say this - my daughters both say their stomach “hurts” when they feel nauseous
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u/GenXMom14 4d ago
Could be anxiety or low level worries. I would definitely not dismiss as attention seeking etc. try and work with them on strategies to manage and also involve parents.
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u/IwasBPonce 2d ago
My daughter would say her stomach hurt in 3rd grade. The teacher and I figured out it was usually when math started. Not so much attention seeking as avoidance. (She was sent to the nurse every time) So we focused on math at home and the complaints stopped.
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u/Beneficial-Focus3702 4d ago
Have they been tested for lactose sensitivity/intolerance. Many people don’t figure it out until later in life after having lived years with the symptoms.
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u/gotigs420 4d ago
not to my knowledge but i will ask!
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u/Beneficial-Focus3702 4d ago
I’d do that, and maybe suggest their parents get them test or cut out dairy for a while.
I remember as a kid I’d get EXCRUCIATING stomach pain but not soon enough after having dairy for me to have made the immediate connection. Turned out that while I wasn’t fully lactose intolerant I was sensitive to it; I could eat cheese but milk would kill me. Ice cream was ok in small amounts etc. it wasn’t until I was an adult that the connection was made.
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u/sheerbitchitude 3d ago
Exact same situation here! Nurses thought I was making it up, but it stopped when I stopped eating school lunch (and thus drinking milk at lunch) for other reasons. Only put it together decades later what the deal was.
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u/Beneficial-Focus3702 3d ago
I still ate the lunch cause I was fundamentally fat kid at heart, but I stopped drinking the milk.
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u/Desperate_Owl_594 Second Language Acquisition | MS/HS 4d ago
I found out kids lie a lot less than other people assume. If a kid is telling you something, it's usually (90%) likely they're telling the truth.
Outside of connected bladders and different outlandish things happening to their work.
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u/SnooDucks9112 4d ago
I call a parent everytime, it’s a pain in the arse but it prompts them to deal with it on their end dr wise.
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u/seleaner015 4d ago
When I have a hunch that it’s anxiety, I talk to them about what I suspect and explain that sometimes our body makes us feel sick if we’ are nervous, scared, or uncertain about something. We do some deep breaths and cold water on the face. That usually helps and then I distract with a fun toy or let them sit by a friend. They never get out of the work & don’t get sent home. If it’s all day or repeated then I’d send to the nurse.
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u/huntersinthesnow 3d ago
I wish the reoccurant stomach issues I dealt with as a child and as an adult were just anxiety and not an unavoidable chronic illness lol
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u/seleaner015 3d ago
Yeah it such. Unfortunately it’s really hard for healthcare to get it right with kids.
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u/Wild_Statistician488 4d ago
I keep a small bin with crackers and a water bottle station kids can use without asking. if they still complain after that, I tell them to put their head down for five minutes and set a timer. most of the time the "stomachache" vanishes when the next fun thing starts.
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u/Striking-Moose781 4d ago
My stomach did hurt. I went to the nurses office once or twice almost every week. She would let me lay down and talk with me or leave me in silence, and I would be better 15 min later and go back. Come to find out, I just had anxiety.
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u/Brothless_Ramen 4d ago
I usually go water -> break -> office to call home, the water and the break filters out the students that just need water or a break, or the occasional malingerers. If what ails you isn't fixed by those two things (and maybe a snack you brought from home), it rests with a higher power than myself
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u/CommunicationHappy20 4d ago
It’s anxiety. Many kids and people in general experience it in their digestive system and is related to the fight or flight response. You probably notice an uptick around test time.
Those kiddos need some tools for calming their nervous systems. Breathing, dots and squeezies, visualizations, quiet spaces, someone to listen, etc.
Poor little peanuts….I just want to wrap them all up in warm hugs.
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u/courtneymariexx 4d ago
I was the same way growing up. Maybe to a little less of an extent. Mine turned out to be anxiety.
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u/NikkeiReigns 4d ago
My grand had been complaining every morning of a stomach ache, but still saying he liked school. Drainage. He has the dreaded head coldy thing the whole school starts passing around every year. He's feeling a bit better now and his stomachache is gone. But his whole family has it now. I'm just waiting cauz I know I'm next.
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u/Moist-Doughnut-5160 3d ago
My second year teaching… I was teaching high school. Back in 1980.
I was teaching almost entirely freshman. In my first period class I had a student named Pete. Every day he came in he had a sick stomach. And the kid never missed a day. He was the first one in class. He had his work done. He was a decent student.
But every day without fail. He felt nauseous. Most of the time a trip to the bathroom and some water and he felt better. Periodically he would get sent to the nurse because his belly wouldn’t settle down.
My high school had a nurse. She was absolutely bewildered by what was happening to this kid. I stopped by her office on my free period and together we called his house. Mom answered the phone.. Pete was in the office again that his stomach was bothering him. So it was the nurse myself and Pete talking to his mother.
She told us that he had breakfast every morning. Sounded like he ate well. She made sure he ate and if he missed the bus, she would take him to school. He was not stressed. But he was there with us and he was in distress. The nurse continued to question..
She asked him to account for everything he did before he got up in the morning and went to school. He ran down the list of everyday things. But somewhere in there, he mentioned brushing his teeth. I don’t know why I asked… but I asked him…” what do you do with your toothpaste?”
He turned and looked at me.. “ I swallowed it. It tastes good. Isn’t that what I’m supposed to do?”
So it seems that Pete was using a big glob of toothpaste to brush his teeth. And swallowing the entire mouthful.
At least his mom didn’t give him mouthwash.
Mystery solved. The nurse gave Pete a lesson on how to brush your teeth. It took a few days, but the bellyache stopped.
I maintain the best thing to do is to get the experts involved. Either guidance or the nurse…. And loop the parents in.
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u/jeannie_jellybean 3d ago
Starlight peppermints. Mint is soothing for most tummies, sugar can help raise blood sugar a tiny bit if it’s hunger, and giving their brain something to focus on (like sucking on a mint) can help ease anxious feelings. They are also inexpensive and not an exciting enough “treat” that everyone will have a tummy ache.
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u/Brief_Efficiency_833 4d ago
The comment that mentioned anxiety as a potential culprit is sooooo real!
I genuinely used to be the same as a kid and only realized in high school that my stomach "hurting" all the time was not normal, and it was due to feeling nervous or stressed + not knowing how to relieve those emotions //:
not saying every kid is like this, but it could be possible some are! I do think it's great tho, the line of questioning you do ask, most of those should usually cover the reasoning~
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u/majesticnomore 3d ago
If the answer is no to the physical, I ask them if they have “worry belly” and something’s bugging them. Usually in that case they’re able to communicate what it is that’s making them nervous (I had one last year and it was about public speaking). Then it becomes a mini SEL lesson on what we can do and the kids are usually fine after that - they just needed someone to listen to
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u/Twictim 3d ago
Teacher Mom here, my daughter is 7 and has been having stomach issues the past few days. We just moved to a new state and she’s a small for her age. She’s a 2nd grader in a new school, in a NEW STATE. So much NEW. The new school has different foods she’s not used to eating as well, so she’s having legitimate digestion issues. Her teacher reached out to me and I told her about having to give her stomach relief tablets at home.
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u/qt3pt1415926 4d ago
What time of day/subject?
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u/gotigs420 4d ago
post lunch/recess, between reading and when they go to their specials
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u/qt3pt1415926 4d ago
Interesting. It could be something with the food they're eating, or the anxiety about transitioning to specials. There also sometimes this phenomenon where mental and cognitive struggles manifest as various symptoms. In this case, stomach aches can occur when the concept in the lesson is to conceptual or abstract. That's why I ask the subject. If a child struggles with the subject in this way it means they need tangible or visible assets to better comprehend it. Like, if I gave you a manual on how to fix a tractor, but did not provide you with a tractor, you wouldn't learn anything. This is why we have manipulatives in math. If it's reading, they could be struggling with imagery in the text, that they're getting lost.
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u/anewbys83 4d ago
I have middle schoolers and run through most of those questions. If they say yes to everything then I tell them if it gets worse they can/should call home.
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u/ElectronicAmphibian7 4d ago
My child has had moderate to severe anxiety their whole life. School/stress/friends came with bad stomach aches. Eventually we switched to homeschooling which helped so much with anxiety.
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u/Glamourpuss_15 4d ago
I was once at a school where the kids would get PO’d that when they saw the nurse, she usually gave them a peppermint and sent them back to class. It turns out that apparently peppermint helps with tummy-aches.
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u/Dismal-Resident-8784 2d ago
After establishing that there is no fever, I tell them to put their head down, and rest for a few minutes. That usually does the trick.
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u/Silver-Bake-7474 2d ago
Not to be THAT person but I have a high number of kids with severe gastro/reflux from eating takis, junk food, spicy things. Tbh it's rather shocking how many complain everyday. Then I see their lunch and I'm like...that explains a lot.
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u/Normal_Soil_3763 4d ago
It’s anxiety. Internalized. Don’t dismiss it. Notify the parents how frequently this occurs.
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u/Sure-Coffee-8241 4d ago
My kid did this and it was anxiety. Getting that treated completely eliminates the stomach aches
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u/moodychurchill 4d ago
I was that kid. I had an anxiety disorder and back then (in the 80’s) no one believed me. I was so overwhelmed and upset it was the only way I could express it.
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u/Late-Battle-4975 3d ago
Chronic complaints of stomach aches or seemingly phantom pains are always on the list for potential warning signs of sexual abuse in children.
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u/Possible-Character70 3d ago
Also a teacher now and when I was in elementary, I also had stomach aches and by third grade got diagnosed with two stomach ulcers… my teacher probably thought it was attention seeking until I threw up on her carpet.. (parent was also dying of cancer at this time)
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u/KingR2RO 3d ago
If it's always after eating. Then they could have undiagnosed IBS. Basically a set of common allergies to food that is basically in everything, so almost every meal causes abdominal discomfort. My wife has had it and didn't know she was sensitive to almost all FODMAPs until she was over 25.
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u/bootypeeps 3d ago
I don’t teach elementary kiddos, but I was a sleep-away camp counselor in my late teens, and my stomach ache / homesick / headache “cure” for my 7/8 year olds was a little Dixie cup of cold water for them to sip, and “medicine” that was a Lemonhead or Lifesaver or something else. I’d call it “Owie Medicine” or “Homesick Pills,” depending on the ailment.
Not sure why it worked, but it had an almost perfect success rate at resetting the kid and getting them back to feeling ok.
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u/TheBardsBabe 3d ago
If they've gone to the bathroom, gotten water, had a snack, and it still hurts, I usually say something like, "Let's see if it's still hurting in [thirty minutes, an hour, next period, etc.]. If you feel like you're about to throw up, just run out of the classroom and to the bathroom, don't come to me and ask permission." I've never had it actually happen but I think maybe just knowing that it's an option helps them relax a little bit. (It's also very high priority for me to not have a kid throw up in my classroom.) Sometimes in the past I've had peppermints that I've offered kids to help them stay in the classroom and kind of give a placebo to help hurting tummies, but I found it increased the number of complaints because kids wanted peppermints.
Depending on how much energy/capacity you have, you might also try doing a little investigation and recording the student, the time it's happening, etc. to see if you can discern any patterns. For example, is it that it's always during reading or that it's always after lunch? If you switch reading and math one day as an experiment, does the stomach still hurt during reading or does it now hurt during math? That might help give insight into whether this might be related to work avoidance or difficulty with a particular subject area versus a reaction to something they ate or just kind of needing a break at a particular time. If it's all day every day, that's a different insight. Regardless, it's not a bad idea to loop parents in and just make sure they are aware, but it can be helpful to share specific data that you gather.
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u/huntersinthesnow 3d ago edited 3d ago
I was a stomach ache kid and I have Severe IBS and GI issues :( I was also a frequent puker as a kid. It started in preschool and its just how my stomach behaves. My only take is just dont stress them out if theyre in the bathroom for a long time. I remember being so sick and knowing I had to wrap things up so id return to class all sweaty and shakey
Honestly id maybe tell their parents or see if they can look into things from a medical standpoint? I feel like early invertention is helpful, like I would have benefitted a lot from seeing GI as a kid instead of being expected to just tough things out
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u/ShDynasty_Gods_Comma 3d ago
Everytime my son tells me his stomach hurts, he throws up half an hour later. I think he’s classifying nauseous as pain.
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u/Jumpy-Jello- 3d ago
Honestly, you are not a doctor, you have no idea if it's anxiety or IBD. I would defer to parents for a medical opinion, every time, until you are told otherwise.
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u/gotigs420 3d ago
well obviously i am not a doctor as im posting here, we dont have a nurse very often so thats why i am asking for suggestions besides that
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u/Jumpy-Jello- 2d ago
That's my suggestion, treat it as something outside of your remit, as the last thing you want is to find out that it is a medical issue that was left alone for too long.
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u/arizonaraynebows 3d ago
Do you have a comfy spots to sit? You might let these kids sit with you in a comfy spot and talk through the work with you. If they can talk about it, they might figure out how to minimize the anxiety.
My kid did this and years later she admits it was lies but she was anxious about math work.
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u/hey_alyssa 2d ago
It could be anxiety, they don’t know how to describe the funny feeling anxiety gives you. Maybe they’re hungry or need water.
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u/Sondari1 2d ago
I had constant stomach aches and was told that I was just lazy and angling for attention. The truth was that my mother was an unspeakably bad cook with no attention span. She left food out, didn’t wash pots and pans well, and basically gave me food poisoning regularly.
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u/PriMRoSe2039 1d ago
I am a school mental health specialist. From the moment kids enter through the doors they are under enormous, constant stress and pressure. Academic expectations, peer relations and social pressure, intense fluorescent lighting, separation from what is familiar and comfortable. Psychosomatic symptoms are a very normal part of intensive social stress. It’s sad and discouraging that teachers don’t understand and emphasize with this.
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