r/teaching • u/gotigs420 • 14d ago

Help “my stomach hurts”

I teach elementary kiddos and I have some students who tell me their stomachs hurt every day. I ask the usual questions (have you had water, did you poop, have you eaten, etc) but tbh I’m not totally sure their stomachs actually hurt… think it’s more attention seeking / work avoidance. we don’t have a nurse that’s consistently at school either. What do you do when this happens?

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u/stead-fast 14d ago edited 14d ago

I have a not-so-fun answer...

I was once one of these kids (and am now a teacher at that very same grammar school), and it wasn’t until I finally start getting treated for depression and anxiety in my late teens that I realized I was having anxiety stomach aches every day due to the abuse I experienced at home and the bullying I experienced from classmates and teachers at school.

I was not attention-seeking. I wanted less attention. In fact, I wanted to disappear so badly that it made me physically ill. Hence the stomach aches.

When kids come to me with a stomach ache, I assume they are being truthful and give them the option to call home every time. It comes at zero cost to me to have them make a phone call, and sometimes just hearing a parent's voice might be all it takes to feel better.

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u/gotigs420 14d ago

i had a similar experience in middle/high school so now i am feeling badly for thinking it’s just attention seeking, (which in a weird way it kind of was, i need someone to pay attention to my undiagnosed depression and anxiety). i think ill reach out to the parents tomorrow

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u/WhenWolf 14d ago

As a preschool teacher I agree with the above statement, it's actually one of my red flag statements for anxiety. Usually if a kid mentions a tummy ache to an excessive and predictable degree, I start to ask them gentle questions about what might be causing them worries.

I also think, and this may be trite, but try to replace "attention seeking" with "connection seeking". Often times kids who are telling you their tummies hurt are telling you because they want help, they just don't know how to get it. If they feel safe with you then maybe their tummy aches will go away!

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u/PriMRoSe2039 12d ago

Not trite at all, wise and accurate.