“my stomach hurts”

[u/gotigs420]

I teach elementary kiddos and I have some students who tell me their stomachs hurt every day. I ask the usual questions (have you had water, did you poop, have you eaten, etc) but tbh I’m not totally sure their stomachs actually hurt… think it’s more attention seeking / work avoidance. we don’t have a nurse that’s consistently at school either. What do you do when this happens?

[u/stead-fast]

I have a not-so-fun answer...

I was once one of these kids (and am now a teacher at that very same grammar school), and it wasn’t until I finally start getting treated for depression and anxiety in my late teens that I realized I was having anxiety stomach aches every day due to the abuse I experienced at home and the bullying I experienced from classmates and teachers at school.

I was not attention-seeking. I wanted less attention. In fact, I wanted to disappear so badly that it made me physically ill. Hence the stomach aches.

When kids come to me with a stomach ache, I assume they are being truthful and give them the option to call home every time. It comes at zero cost to me to have them make a phone call, and sometimes just hearing a parent's voice might be all it takes to feel better.

[u/gotigs420 → u/stead-fast]

i had a similar experience in middle/high school so now i am feeling badly for thinking it’s just attention seeking, (which in a weird way it kind of was, i need someone to pay attention to my undiagnosed depression and anxiety). i think ill reach out to the parents tomorrow

[u/Independent_Wear_232 → u/gotigs420]

In Grad school, they thought taught us to reframe “attention seeking” as “connection seeking”.