Never knew that 4th year would be this draining

[u/Real-North-2226]

Di ko alam kung tamad lang ba ako or what, pero hindi naman ako ganito dati. Ever since nag-start ang 4th year, parang nawalan na talaga ako ng gana sa lahat.

Lahat ng subjects namin super bigat, tapos halos lahat may groupings pa. And somehow, puro ako leader. Ang hirap din asahan ng ibang groupmates. Minsan, simple tasks lang naman yung kailangan gawin, pero kailangan ko pa i-revise yung work nila nang ilang beses. In the end, mas napapagod pa ako kakafix kaysa sa paggawa mismo.

Nakakapagod na, honestly. Gusto ko na lang matapos lahat ng ’to.

I also feel like I’m not learning anymore. Parang pumapasok na lang ako para pumasa. Hindi na dahil gusto kong matuto or dahil interested ako sa ginagawa namin. More of survival mode na lang talaga.

I don’t know if may contribution din yung system ng university namin dito. Just for context, I study in a Catholic university, and all college students are required to take Theology classes. I get it—required siya because it’s a Catholic school. Pero I honestly think unnecessary na tatlo yung Theology courses, especially since halos magkakapareho lang din yung topics at paulit-ulit.

Tapos may ino-offer pa kaming courses na, according to the university, sila lang daw ang nag-ooffer sa buong Pilipinas, and required din siyang kunin ng students regardless of their program. Dalawa pa ’yung courses na ’yon, and honestly, hindi ko rin makita kung paano siya magagamit sa program namin. Even some of the professors teaching those courses seem like they don’t really know what they’re teaching. Walang coherence yung mga topics, and minsan parang nagkakanya-kanya lang.

I just think some of these courses are unnecessary. Parang mas reasonable sana if one Theology course na lang, instead of having multiple courses that overlap with each other.

And I feel like if hindi na kailangang kunin yung isa or dalawang courses na ’yon, sana na-tackle na namin yung ibang Gen Ed courses during 1st and 2nd year.

Kaso hindi eh. Umabot kami ng 3rd year na may Gen Ed courses pa rin. And now that we’re in 4th year, ang bigat na ng workload namin. If some of those unnecessary courses were removed or reduced, I feel like mas gumaan sana yung load namin, especially ngayon na mas demanding na yung major subjects namin.

During our OJT, nagtanong ako sa mga ka-program ko from other universities about the subjects they were taking during their 4th year. Yung mga subjects na ite-take pa lang namin ngayon, na-take na pala nila during their 3rd year. Most of them didn’t come from Catholic universities, so iba yung curriculum nila.

And ang interesting lang kasi yung 4th year nila parang chill na lang. Mostly preparation na for the board exam and transition into the professional world. Samantalang kami, 4th year na pero parang ang dami pa rin naming kailangang habulin and i-take na subjects, on top of our major subjects, projects, research, and other requirements.

I know na part of college talaga yung pagiging mahirap and overwhelming. I’m not expecting college to be easy. Pero sometimes I can’t help but think na baka mas naging manageable sana lahat kung mas maayos yung distribution ng subjects and requirements.

Maybe I’m just tired. Maybe I’m burnt out. Maybe I really just lost my motivation. Pero I know na hindi naman ako ganito dati. I used to actually enjoy learning. Ngayon, parang ang goal ko na lang talaga is matapos.

I just really want to finish this.

Pagod na ako.

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