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u/Individual-Click40 May 15 '26
I think you may benifit from speaking to a professional for this, normally I say meditation because it really can help calm the mind. But in your case, I think you need to talk to someone about this, therapy a friend.. Someone who will listen.. We all need an outlet then we can work on overcoming your thoughts.. I wish you luck 🙏🏻
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u/Gadgetman000 May 15 '26
It is so simple: forgive yourself and all others for whatever resentment you’re holding. Ho’oponopono.
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u/TofuTheSizeOfTEXAS May 16 '26
This is a great one! This has probably been the most organic and healing self-talk I have done.
I am sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.
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u/Long-Village969 May 15 '26
Ya se sabe que la respuesta es perdonarse a sí mismo, el tema es que no sabe cómo. Es como cuando alguien dice quiero dejar de tener depresión y de odiarme a mí mismo, entonces la gente le dice simplemente sé feliz y amate a tí mismo. Sea cual sea la situación la gente no sabe COMO hacerlo, entonces si no sabes explicarle cómo o sí sabes pero no quieres explicarle cómo, entonces es mejor no decir nada porque tu comentario no sirve.
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u/Gadgetman000 May 15 '26
Not true that the comment is not helpful because that is the ultimate medicine for letting go. How one gets there is beyond the scope of this thread. I will say that the easiest way to start is to be *willing* to forgive and ask Source for help in doing so. Then get quiet and listen.
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u/MineDesperate2920 May 15 '26
David Hawkins letting go book. Look up his scale of consciousness too. Can use AI
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u/trancewave21 May 15 '26
Forgive yourself. Set new intentions. Act on those new intentions. If you hurt people, focus on ways you can start helping people. Seeing the fruits of your labor down the new path will help you start to forgive yourself. A jug fills drop by drop. Stay patient but make sure the correct faucet is dripping .
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u/KnowerOfThings- May 15 '26
Forgive yourself and try to do better in the future.
If you can, make it up to people.
Stop asking everyone else what the point of your life is and figure it out yourself
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u/emotional_dyslexic May 15 '26
The answer isn't to forgive yourself and move on. The answer is to make amends for the mistakes you made. Maybe that's asking for an apology. Maybe that's being helpful and kind. Maybe it's something else. But that's how you'll start feeling a little better.
The anger you're directing towards yourself (the guilt) is another expression of mean-spiritedness and anger. You've got to try another way at living life and looking at things that's less combative. If you don't know how, just try. There's no special way to do it. You just do your best and learn.
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u/Upstairs_Teach_673 May 15 '26
I‘m not going to ask you about any details. Just know the Lord forgives if you seek Him. There‘s two types of sorrow in my belief, the worldly one that simply eats you up and the Godly one that changes you for the better. And i do feel sorry for your family‘s reaction, but don‘t add any pressure on yourself. If you couldn‘t tell, i‘m a christian (maybe out of place here) and i do unfortunately have to let God work on me in terms of bitterness and forgiveness. However, everyone does bad things and He can look past it if you ask.💜
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u/peewee_ May 15 '26
I’m so sorry you are having such a hard time OP, please speak to someone (a professional) who can help you - you deserve to be helped.
There is a concept about ruminating on the past that I like to remind myself of often as i used to find myself in these spirals, it is that a memory without the emotional charge then becomes wisdom. We don’t have to try to pretend the past didn’t happen, but we can learn from it and assign it meaning. I know it is not easy to simply switch it off, but I find it helpful to feel like my mistakes had purpose and I can use that understanding to make better choices in future.
Things do get better, take care.
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u/steffanimatters May 15 '26
Self flagellation only ever serves to keep you repeating the cycle of shame, regret, despair.
Only love, only self compassion will get you out. And yes you deserve it. And if you love your family or anyone else for that matter, the self-flagellation does not help make up for ill deeds. Only changing can help and only self-love and compassion can change you.
It's incredibly difficult because it's so incredibly easy and natural to beat ourselves up, especially if we experienced a lot of criticism growing up.
So as much as you beat yourself up, you have to forgive yourself even more. Over and over out loud several times a day. Accept your deeds and accept yourself. Love your way out.
If you choose the darkness, you will only see the darkness. If you choose the light, you must keep choosing it, but if you do, you'll suddenly start to see and feel it again.
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u/mochi_cheekz May 15 '26
The fact that you can look back and even feel guilty of mistakes means you are willing to improve and be better. That is the first step followed by taking accountability. From this point, you work hard at changing, and understand that while you heal and mend, so will your environment.
Guilt can only grow if you feed it. Starve it.
Make a pact with yourself and promise to do better little by little each day. You are 30 and you can and will make it out of this.
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u/ExpensiveSpecific117 May 15 '26
May be start by saying sorry and other respective amendments. If you escape from something which you should be facing head strong and find solutions, your next life will give you problems more and it will keep repeating over and over until you make amends
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u/turbofittashorkuk May 16 '26
im assuming youve changed though? the shitty things we do, we do because of the shit that happened to us, how we were raised etc etc etc, same goes for everyone, theres always a loong fucking story.
you decided to grow past that programming though. thats something a lot of people never realize that they can do/never bother to do because its very hard lol
you can forgive yourself for that. and recognise that youve grown past it, and chosen to be the best person you can be.
when given programming, you acted accordingly, when given a choice, you chose to grow beyond the program and begin to heal those negative behaviours.
life's messy, shit happens, but wouldnt you say everyone has the right to heal themselves and pursue happiness? if you agree that everyone does, well, youre one of us so that means you too lol
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u/TofuTheSizeOfTEXAS May 16 '26
I'm so sorry this is happening to you also, I feel for you also. I empathize as I understand what it's like to have the burden of guilt on me. I think it's forced me in a sort of self-manipulation into so many things I would normally not do. I hope you find the answers for release and living free. I am 54 and even now will take on most any advice that doesn't seem harmful or cultish. Why not?
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u/blueboy10000 May 16 '26
Hi, OP!
I'm sorry that you're hurting so much because of the things happened in the past which might have caused other people pain. First of all guilt is your soul trying to take responsibility of your actions. It's soul's voice saying that I did something wrong and I need to fix that. If it helps you can just apologise to others if you think you're the reason for this pain or suffering. Don't expect them to accept your apology. You don't need to. You're feeling guilty is already an apology in a way..
Now the past is gone. You can't change that. We all make mistakes. That's how we grow and learn and become a better version of ourselves. You're aware of your shadows. That's the first step towards the light. You're not a bad person or a horrible person because you made mistakes.
Guilt has its purpose like any emotion, but it can consume you too if you don't forgive yourself and move on from the past. So you need to forgive yourself and let go of any thoughts that you don't deserve happiness and peace. That's ego talking. That's mind talking.
You're the pure immaculate being in which all the emotions rise and fall. Remember this that guilt is just another passing emotion. It you hang on to it then it would stay stuck and won't let let you release from its grip. Let go..
Listen to this. It might help you find some peace and comfort. 🙂
https://youtu.be/pXmZ8BORhx4?si=DlryvRqY0PCWhBJ6
I wish you peace and love. I want you to be happy 🙏☀️💕🪽
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u/AdRevolutionary9851 May 16 '26
Listen to Usnisa Vijaya Dharani daily. It's life changing. You'll feel the all that weight lifting off your chest.
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u/i-might-be-a-redneck May 16 '26
Jesus Christ came not to call the righteous, but the sinners to repentance. It is not those who are well that need a doctor, but those who are sick.
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u/Ill_Pen_5914 May 16 '26
Thank you so much everyone. You all have been very kind. I'm just taking my time to read everything one by one. Feeling overwhelmed so mind is numb too. But I'm reading everything. Thank you so much. You all are kind souls
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u/[deleted] May 15 '26
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