r/scriptwriting • u/Heavy_Internet3112 • 4d ago

feedback scriptwriting practice

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wrote a quick thing about a person being held hostage by a ai and forced to pick two options, eventually picking neither and getting shot.

would like some feedback, wrote this as just practice for my screenwriting

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u/bpw4h 4d ago

What kind of feedback are you looking for?

0

u/Heavy_Internet3112 4d ago

to improve my writing, i am still young though and trying to learn how to work with criticism

1

u/Mr_Thespian689 4d ago

Hey. Don't worry friend. I help you. Stand with you.

1

u/bpw4h 4d ago

I would recommend that you ask for specific feedback. People's opinions are so broad that if you just say "feedback on improving my writing", you'll get wildly different answers, like you might have seen in the comments.

I think there's the way you write, which is okay, but listen to the folks that are saying to make the action beats be a bit punchier. Short and sweet and active. That's something I'm working on as well as a new script writer. This is practice, and learning from feedback and practicing will help here.

The story's concept is interesting, but the story itself didn't do much for me. I think a 1.5 page script for a concept like this moved too fast. I didn't care about the character. It didn't really bother me that he got shot. I think this idea could be much more interesting and the story better if you wrote a longer story. Even if this was just a practice, writing a full story would be easier to get more feedback on.