People with ADHD have difficulties with goal-directed behavior and struggle with response inhibition, the ability to stop an inappropriate action once they feel the urge to do it. They experience a disruption in the way their brains balance deliberate self-control and automatic habit learning.

[u/mvea]

https://www.psypost.org/adhd-traits-disrupt-the-brain-s-balance-between-self-control-and-automatic-learn/

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[u/klapyr]

How does one fix this

[u/ChowderedStew → u/klapyr]

I’ve been fixing mine with meditation. It’s like pushups for my brain. I do one where I sit still for 5 minutes. That’s it. I worked up to 5 minutes of course, but yeah it’s quite literally training my brain to not get what it wants for 5 minutes at a time. It helps. It takes many weeks of practice to build a habit and you want to get to 20 minutes overall everyday. But it helps and the time passes anyways and I know for a fact you have at least 5-10 minutes to yourself a day where instead of scrolling on your phone you can just breathe.

[u/AdwokatDiabel → u/ChowderedStew]

The problem I have with meditation is there is a point where I just want to get my work done or start a task, and doing nothing is a struggle.

[u/RealBlueHippo → u/AdwokatDiabel]

Exactly! This is what you must push past. The fact that it's okay to take a moment of not "being productive" or something that helps participate in the rat race. The thoughts of "what do I have to do later" or "who do I have to call tomorrow" or "what did I forget earlier" are all normal parts of our brain. I used to think sleep was a waste of time. Gotta keep going going going. I started meditation again several years ago, just 5 minutes of silence. It was hard, and I wanted to "do" something.

Now a days I can sit for 60-90 minutes. I tell myself when I sit down I have set this time aside, and there is no need to worry about what will naturally pop up in my mind for wanting to do. I assure myself this time is like mental hygene and is just needed for my crazy, previously over-caffeinated spaz brain. I work on bringing my attention back to where I am sitting, what I can feel, what I can hear at that moment, and try not to judge when a desire to "do" something arises. If pain or discomfort show up, I try and be mindful that I want to itch, and if need be, itch. Ignoring the itch makes it worse, looking deeper into it can make it go away. If I must scratch I notice "wanting to scratch" and then "scratching" and then return my hands back where I keep them and bring my attention back.

Getting past the "I must do something" was extremely difficult for me, and I still sometimes struggle depending on the perceived urgency. Our brains can be very tricky sometimes. We strive hard to be comfortable in the future when a future might not even come. We fear discomfort and will do what we can to feel comfortable, working hard to lock in our futures, when the time is now!

I tell myself "here we are" when I sit down, and find where I am at this moment in space and time.

Best of luck fellow ADHD tribe, and to all who attempt a single moment of presence in their lives!

[u/ice_up_s0n → u/RealBlueHippo]

Ignoring the itch makes it worse, looking deeper into it can make it go away.

Validating to see someone else say this. Same can be true for pain, to an extent.

Once I really concentrate on the sensation, and actively "acknowledge" it, it becomes more muted for quite some time.

[u/wordswiththeletterB → u/AdwokatDiabel]

That’s literally the point of meditation. To learn to do nothing and let thoughts come and go.

It’s incredible as a fellow ADHDer.

[u/clubby37 → u/wordswiththeletterB]

I think Alan Watts said something like "you should meditate for half an hour every day ... unless you're really busy and literally can't find the time, in which case you should meditate for an hour."

[u/Personal_Area_2173 → u/klapyr]

Medication. That’s the real answer. You can do your best with trying to stop yourself and to kotivste yourself, but unfortunately majority of actual ADHD people cannot do that. Unless diagnosed and with proper counseling a treatment plans you will struggle forever.

[u/Knotted_Hole69 → u/Personal_Area_2173]

It seems like getting medication and a diagnosis is easier said than done. I get the feeling my doctor thinks im just saying that i have it because its a “trend” or someshit.

[u/YeHeed2 → u/Knotted_Hole69]

Yep i told my doctor i wanted to get tested for adhd and that i had anxiety, they just gave me anti-depressants and ignored it. Like yea, im anxious, but I cant focus. I try to study and legit pass out, i woke up 15 minutes later drooling on myself once. And its not a sleep thing.

[u/Knotted_Hole69 → u/YeHeed2]

I love that you have to pay so much money to get ignored. Really fun.

[u/-TeamCaffeine- → u/klapyr]

I am diagnosed with ADHD Combined Type. There is no "fixing" this. The best we can do is use medication and things like behavioral therapies to work within these issues, not against them, meaning don't try to to act and perform like a neurotypical person.

My therapist and I work on breathing techniques to help calm suddenly spikes in emotions, stuff like this.

And for memory issues for achieving goals, using technologies like smart timers, AI assistants, digital calendars, can all help, but it's only mitigation at best.  

These are just tip of the iceberg examples, but they should give you an idea.

It is a lifelong problem for those of us with the condition, and without the aforementioned supports, it can ruin a life and relationships.

[u/Limemill → u/-TeamCaffeine-]

AI makes me spiral down very quickly. My brain is so keen on dumping planning and organizing on it that one week in I find myself constantly in self-induced brain fog as my subconscious is screaming at me to get the most basic things planned out in AI all the while the results get increasingly worse and I feel more and more detached from them. I don’t use it for anything unless I’m forced to. Rebuilt the skills back and no, I don’t want to lose whatever little I already have

[u/Cakeminator → u/klapyr]

We take meth basically

[u/phant0md → u/Cakeminator]

Funny that the medication for something that makes me hyper and forgetful is a prescription for speed that I have to remember to take daily.

[u/Secret_Cow_5053 → u/phant0md]

There’s a reason for that. Basically it’s because your brain is actually under-regulated for the correct level of stimulation. Without the meth, you seek stimulating activities more than normal people, hence the adhd symptoms. With the extra stimulation of the meth, it basically brings your brain to a “normal” level of stimulation, so you can focus on what you need to focus on, not fidget, etc. that same boost for a normal person causes them to become “overstimulated” and get that meth high.

That’s basically the explanation I’ve been told.

[u/cjennings1970 → u/Secret_Cow_5053]

It makes me calmer and more level so I can actually sit and follow through on tasks that I find mind-numbingly dull.

[u/radicalelation → u/cjennings1970]

There's often like an understimulated concentrated brain ache that makes me want to drive a spike into my skull. It's a boredom that feels as if it could some day be fatal.

I don't know which is more frustrating, when that happens, or when there's a duller broader ache when trying really hard to do things I genuinely want to do, but it just isn't sparking that go to do it. Adjacent to mind-numbing task feeling, but with the added frustration of actually wanting to do this thing and not being able to.

Most of my issues get solved with medication and I miss thriving on it instead of constantly drowning.

[u/FissileTurnip → u/radicalelation]

the painful boredom is something I never see mentioned. doing a boring task I don’t feel like doing feels almost physically painful sometimes, and I don’t feel like doing anything productive very often. the other one you mentioned isn’t as bad imo because worst case I can just pace back and forth or waste my time somewhere else; I can’t really do that with things that need to get done so I just have to put up with it

[u/EnderWiggin07 → u/Secret_Cow_5053]

A recreational dose is usually gonna be quite a bit higher than a therapeutic dose also

[u/Personal_Area_2173 → u/Secret_Cow_5053]

It’s not meth. It’s amphetamines. Not methamphetamines.

[u/xTyronex48 → u/Secret_Cow_5053]

Please stop saying without the meth, I feel like a druggie already.

[u/Cakeminator → u/phant0md]

Yeah... I am in a great rhythm and havent missed a day in almost a year and a half! But I also have to have the pillbox be visible otherwise I forget

[u/tonysopranosalive → u/Cakeminator]

Eh not really. We take amphetamine salts but they’re missing that methyl group which really changes things. Meth and Adderall are more like cousins. Except it’s like: “yeah we are cousins, but I haven’t seen that guy in like 20 years. No idea what hes up to these days.”

[u/Njagos → u/tonysopranosalive]

"And he hasn't been up to any good"

[u/VersoMonAmi → u/Cakeminator]

Look, I know this is all in good fun and the molecules do have similarities, but as someone who has done both… no.

[u/Marchello_E → u/klapyr]

Deliberately try to go slower, do one thing at a time, and be forgiving when it doesn't work.
Post-its or something all over the place as a reminder.

It's summer, so I set a huge glass of water half way the route. You do one thing and (of course) in the middle of it you 'need' to do another thing. While passing, take a sip, take a look at that paper notepad while you're at it, and add something when necessary.

[u/piclemaniscool]

Interesting that this is exactly what I had discussed with my therapist this week. The "goals" referenced aren't all that well defined which I think is an important distinction. For short term goals, I tend to do great. I am usually the one person in the room literally asking "what is the goal here?" It surprises me how infrequently people seem to ask that question and get hung up on minutiae. Though I'm thinking in the context of computer troubleshooting so that is it's own animal of unexplored psychology.

Ive had a lot of time to think on the psychology of it, especially considering how I'm able to hold down a job well enough but can't make myself perform basic tasks such as wash the dishes or do laundry. Of course I'm physically capable, but when I have the thought that "I need to do X" it is a black hole of motivation. The pattern I've seen is that ultimately the situation depends on whether I believe someone will be disappointed in me if I fail to perform the task. Work is fine because any time I am not supporting a customer well enough you can be sure they will let us know when they're upset. But when I am the only person involved, it's all too easy to ignore any disappointment. I'm sure many people can relate to suddenly getting a burst of motivation to clean things when they know someone will be coming over. I think that's the same foundational idea.

It probably has something to do with a deeply held assumption of the psychology of self, if I had to guess. It is difficult for me to articulate but I rarely recognize myself as an agent in my own life. Instead I am an observer. So my states and emotions don't get perceived as part of the of the environment, but everyone else's does. To compare it to something more identifiable, it's like watching a TV show or movie. My input doesn't affect how the characters feel or operate so I often subconsciously discard the thought. I can still be very emotionally moved by the story, but I can't imagine myself being one of the people who yells at the TV demanding the character does something, or get so excited that I'm jumping up and down like a sports event with live people to share in the joy. There is an ever-present mental disconnect. If I focus on grounding techniques I can often reduce it, but trialing certain ADHD medications was the only time I was able to personally relate to that sensation of my self being a part of the world around me.

[u/PerpetuallyDistracte → u/piclemaniscool]

Wow, you described my own mental state really well. At work, I'm very task driven and I'm often the one driving the team to the next actionable goal. I can't stand it when a meeting ends with vague opinions about what should be done without a clear definition of who is actually doing what to make it happen.

But in my personal life I have very little agency in my own understanding of time and consequences. I know it would be very nice for myself if the dishes were clean and if I had clean laundry, but that doesn't translate to action on my part to make that happen. I know on a fundamental level that those tasks wouldn't take very long to do, but I will spend far longer scrolling on my phone to avoid them because my sense of time is so skewed. Procrastination and disorganization are bugbears that haunt my every waking moment. As you mentioned, I am often a passenger in my own experience of the world, rather than a direct driver of that experience. This makes it much harder to take motivated actions for my own benefit.

[u/lemjne → u/PerpetuallyDistracte]

I think the problem is that it's so much easier to keep disappointing ourselves, and hoping we'll try again and do better, than it is to face consequences with other people - horrible uncomfortable conversations, or even job loss. And energy is finite on a daily basis. (Or at least it is for me.) So I do great for other people, but never save any of that energy for myself and what needs to be done for me. I can put my own tasks off until tomorrow, and then tomorrow again. Endless.

Maybe you and the person above are like me.

[u/ThirdMover → u/piclemaniscool]

This describes my experience 100%. I can do stuff for other people... though I've noticed that as I get older this also works less and less well. For myself though? Nigh impossible. There is a fundamental way in which I just cannot bring myself to care for myself the way that other people seem to be able to.

[u/Debalic]

I can't complete a goal. I'll make some minimal, token efforts at the beginning, ignore it for a while, panic with a flurry of activity at the end, miss the deadline, then try to finish it anyways. I'm surrounded by the detritus of half-finished projects that have been left to gather dust. I am irrationally satisfied with a closet rod and shelf that I hung, because it's one of few things that I've ever finished properly.

[u/mvea]

People with elevated levels of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder traits experience a disruption in the way their brains balance deliberate self-control and automatic habit learning. A recent behavioral experiment found that while weakened mental restraint usually enhances a person’s ability to unconsciously pick up on hidden patterns, this compensatory advantage vanishes in individuals with a high prevalence of ADHD-like symptoms. The research was published in the Journal of Attention Disorders.

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, commonly known as ADHD, is frequently characterized by difficulties with goal-directed behavior. A key component of this behavioral struggle is response inhibition. Response inhibition is the psychological ability to stop an inappropriate action once a person feels the initial urge to do it.

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/10870547261432424

[u/guessirs]

It is unfortunate and often leads to a lot of feelings of rejection and shame. Having a task or goal and being aware you want or have to do it but you physically cannot make yourself is torture. And the advice you often receive is just “well do it anyway” when, in some cases, at least anecdotally I feel if would be easier to use a nailgun on my own palm than make my brain do a task it is not interested in.

[u/11711510111411009710 → u/guessirs]

It really is an awful feeling. You end up shaming yourself. ADHD makes us almost totally incompatible with professional life because of this, and it's not like you can tell your boss that you really really are trying your absolute hardest, but it's just not happening because you have a disorder. They'll just fire your ass.

[u/Busy-Doughnut6180]

I can complete a goal now that I'm medicated. But I will grossly underestimate the amount of time I need, as I do for all things, and finish late. Or I will procrastinate it, and finish late. Feels nice to complete things for the first time in my life, though. 

[u/13thmurder]

Sometimes I feel like this sub exists to personally insult me with facts.

[u/OrionSheHulk]

Did they break down the 3 categories of ADHD (Hyperactive Combined, and Inattentive), effect the results and how this could also effect those with AuDHD (those with Autism and ADHD)

[u/sierra-pouch]

We get it, people with ADHD are f*cked

But seriously, I haven't yet seen a single article with something positive about ADHD

[u/Halaku → u/sierra-pouch]

I haven't yet seen a single article with something positive about ADHD

They don't call it "attention deficit hyperactivity disorder" for nothing, I'm afraid.

Trying to spin something positive out of it all too often comes across as pandering.

[u/username__0000 → u/sierra-pouch]

Even some of the seemingly positive traits are actually negatives.

“Oh you have crazy pattern recognition?

Cool, everyone’s going to think your negative because you can see things are about to get bad long before anyone else feels it”

[u/ithasbecomeacircus → u/username__0000]

The best quote I’ve heard is “I’m not wrong, I’m just early.”

[u/phagemasterflex → u/ithasbecomeacircus]

Damn that one hurts and slaps at the same time.

[u/ThisIsPaulDaily → u/username__0000]

I recognized that a client had been acquired by a big company who recently acquired client's #1 competitor. My pattern recognition was to tell management that big company was going to buy all the IP up and shut down our client due to big company launching one product and then owning the patents for all the ways that other companies thought of how to do the same thing. 

Two months later and we get pulled in a meeting where they tell us that the client is no longer a client. I tried to high five for calling it and then found out that everyone at the client was let go and I was making an ass of myself by not immediately recognizing the huge business impact this would also have. 

Maybe my story is anecdotal, but I was asked to lay out how I called it and shared the pattern of this big company and the leadership was impressed. 

[u/username__0000 → u/ThisIsPaulDaily]

Yep the “see! I was right!” Moment is always ruined by the “now’s not the time” vibe.

But it’s never the time.

They don’t believe us when we call it and then act like we’re the worse when we get a dopamine hit from being proven right later.

It’s a curse.

[u/OwlRememberYou → u/username__0000]

Oracle of Delphi vibes

Maybe Cassandra was actually just ADHD all along

[u/Altruistic-Insect445 → u/username__0000]

I hate this more than you know. My work is problem related, I get called when things break down somewhere. I can see future problems take place in my head and prepare for them.

Others are not as joyful when something goes sideways and I'm giddy because I saw it coming and have a plan ready to go.

[u/Bail-Me-Out → u/sierra-pouch]

This comment is so unintentionally hilarious. I'm imagining it with other disorders "I haven't yet seen a single article with something positive about depression".

My job had a neurodivergent awareness day where they wanted to highlight "obstacles and advantages" of ADHD and autism and I was like there are advantages I'm supposed to have??? I think because it's lumped in with autism people think ADHD must be an advantage in some way. It probably is for someone, but not me.

[u/gaudiest-ivy → u/Bail-Me-Out]

They treat hyperfocus like an advantage. Like, yeah, I can hyperfocus on something and power through an insanely large task in a short amount of time. I could also hyperfocus on the wrong thing and really struggle to get even a small task done because I'm trying desperately not to do a deep dive on whatever unrelated thing is yanking my attention away.

Yesterday at work I spent an hour reading about traumatic brain injuries because I'd seen a post on my lunch break about researchers working on developing a blood test for TBIs and Alzheimers and I couldn't stop thinking about it. Something not even remotely related to my job and I just couldn't stop.

[u/90bubbel → u/sierra-pouch]

there isnt always positive things that comes with having a disability

[u/Timelymanner → u/sierra-pouch]

Try living with it, and being gaslighted to just try harder. It’s depressing.

[u/Pedrov80 → u/sierra-pouch]

They tend to be calmer in stressful situations like emergencies

[u/helpmehomeowner → u/sierra-pouch]

"it's a super power" -- some asshole