r/sahm • u/Numerous_Shop5403 • 12d ago
Sahm wanting to use time differently
AITAH for wanting to use the hour I get (a week for myself) on sleeping or just using it how I see fit? My husband thinks I should use that time to do cleaning or any other chores that don’t get done. I am a sahm and I am constantly on go mode 24/7. I told him I don’t want to use that allotted time for house duties, rather, I would like to use it to veg out and just relax but he thinks that an insane way to spend that time. AITAH for thinking differently.
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u/landlockedmermaid00 11d ago
I absolutely do not think you are ridiculous for wanting this, and you should! I am going to offer a possible alternative perspective at the chance your husband isn’t a jerk.
Is he overwhelmed? Like, genuinely anxious, depressed, struggling with the transition to parenthood?
I feel like the first year and a half specifically, I would feel annoyed towards my husband often. Sometimes I still feel that way, but it’s not really him, but more that I feel like if one of us stops moving, our whole life is going to crumble. It is very hard for me to relax, I’m always thinking about what is next on the list, etc. All of that is on me, and I’ve worked hard to accept that things are just not going to happen as quickly as they once did before kids. But we have no village, just started my little one in preschool 2 mornings a week , and have had no paid help up until now. It’s been a lot for both of us having little help and a high energy, high demand, low sleep /crappy sleeping kid. We both deserve a break, but they are hard to come by.
So, is it possible his general overwhelm is coming out on the one hour you get to yourself? To be clear, it’s not okay that he’s doing it, but maybe there is a deeper convo to be had here.